by Clare Revell
“I don’t think so.” His relief vanished into the hollow pit where his heart once was.
“Why not?” Lara stamped her foot. “You visit lots of sick people. And you love Auntie Cassie.”
“Auntie Cassie and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.” He pulled Lara onto his lap.
“Why?”
“Sometimes things just don’t work out like we want them to.”
“Did she do something wong?”
“No, she didn’t. We’re still friends— at least I hope we are.”
“Did you have a fight? Is that why she’s sick?”
“Yeah, we had a fight.”
Cassie’s face flashed before him.
“Then say sowwy and make up.”
“It’s not that simple—“
“It is.” Lara jumped off his lap. “That’s what you tell me all the time. Say sowwy and you’ll be fowgiven. I like Auntie Cassie. It’s not fair.” She turned and ran to the door.
“Lara—” Jack got up to follow her, but was barely half way across the room before the door slammed shut. He sighed and went back to his chair, sinking into it. A weary hand rubbed his face, feeling the stubble on his chin. She’d have to get used to the idea, just like he would.
****
Danny put the phone down and looked at Cassie. “You should have let me say more.”
“It’s my problem. It’s between me and Pastor Jack. I’m sorry to have dragged you in this far.”
“Cassie—”
“Danny, please. It’s better this way. A clean break, before things get too intense.”
“Who are you trying to kid?” He sat on the bed next to her and took her hand. “Talk to me.”
“I thought he liked me. I mean, he asked me out, treated me like a normal person again, not some disabled thing, he kissed me—guess I was wrong.”
“What happened?”
“He broke it off two days ago. He told me he couldn’t see me anymore. I asked why, if someone complained about us. He went red and said nothing. So I guess they did and his response is this. That his job is more important than me. I’m not church material, so I’ll ring Pastor Bruce and withdraw my application for membership.”
“Now you stop right there. Jack may be a lot of things, but a poor judge of character isn’t one of them. He has only ever looked at one other woman the way he looks at you, and he was married to her for over ten years.”
“I can’t compete with a ghost.”
“No one is asking you too. Sis, the church is made up of fallible people like you and me and Jack. No one is perfect this side of heaven, and we’re not expected to be. If someone did say something, then it’s an attack on Jack and his ministry—not on his relationship with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how powerfully he’s been preaching the past few weeks. He’s tackling subjects head on and stirring the entire church. Satan won’t like that and is out to get Jack and stop him—”
“And either I’m in the way, or I’m the temptation in his path.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth, will you? If I know Jack, and I ought to know him pretty well by now, he’ll be doing this to protect you and stop you from getting hurt. If, and I stress if, someone complained, it’s not a reflection on you or him, or any relationship you two may have. He’s entitled to date whomever he wants. It’s a direct attack to prevent him preaching and doing God’s work. And it’s succeeding.”
“Huh,” Cassie snorted. “Well guess what—trying not to hurt me didn’t work.” She took a deep breath. “I’ll finish your display, stay until after Easter and the wedding. I can’t stay here and see him in church week after week, wanting something I can’t have. Not anymore. I’ll find another church or move or—”
“You’ll do no such thing. You’re stronger than this. I didn’t leave Headley Cross when I broke up with Darcy.”
Cassie didn’t want to listen to Danny regale her with stories of his break up with his girlfriend. He’d idolized the ground Darcy walked on, until she left him for someone else. He, of all people, should know the last thing she needed right now was a lecture on how it felt to have a relationship end, and how running away didn’t solve anything.
Danny continued speaking. “We were together two years, and I was seriously considering asking her to marry me, when she ended it. It was hard seeing her each week at first, especially when she started going out with Bryan almost immediately, but we moved on and we’re friends now.”
“It’s not the same. All right you went out for two years, but I’ve loved Jack since forever.”
“It’s exactly the same thing. Darcy may not preach on a Sunday, but she’s still there and I still see her around town—with her husband. You told me you knew what you were doing when you got involved with Jack.”
“I was wrong.”
“Cassie—Jack gave you back your confidence and your independence. Don’t give up on him now.”
“There is only one way to take ‘I can’t see you again’, Danny.”
“Fine. You lie there and hide.” Danny stood up and headed to the door. “But I’ll tell you one thing—if this is an attack, he’s going to need all the friends he can get—and that includes you. You were his friend long before this week. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”
Cassie watched him go and pushed into the pillows. She took a deep breath. If Danny was right, and this was an attack, then there was only one person who could do something about it. She closed her eyes and prayed.
Cassie's Wedding Dress
9
Cassie sat in church on Sunday morning, not really wanting to be there. She tried arguing she’d be better off at home, listening in over the internet, but Danny insisted. So here she was.
Danny slid into the pew beside her and pressed a pink envelope into her hand.
“What’s this?”
“It was in the pigeon hole for you.”
“Thanks.” She didn’t get mail in church very often and opened it, pulling out the matching pale pink, scented paper.
Stay away from Jack Chambers. He’s a trouble maker and abuser. He’ll only hurt you if you don’t stay away, just like he hurt me. Men like him don’t deserve to lead a church.
Cassie swallowed hard, bile rising in her throat. Her hand shook and her skin grew cold.
“Cassie?”
She tried to shove the paper back into the envelope, but shaking fingers made it impossible. She looked up at Danny as his hands closed over hers.
“What’s wrong? What’s the note say?”
“It’s just mean stuff. I want to go home.”
“Let me see.”
Cassie gave him the note.
His expression changed as he read.
“See…just mean stuff. It must be the reason he broke things off. Someone said something about this.”
“You don’t believe any of this, do you?”
“Of course I don’t,” she hissed, outraged. “Jack is the kindest, gentlest man God ever put on this earth.”
“Then stay. Show whoever wrote this that you don’t care.”
“You think they’re here?”
“They had to be at some point to put this in the pigeon hole.”
The music stopped, and Cassie glanced at the service sheet, then up at the platform.
Only Pastor Bruce sat there, even though Jack was scheduled to preach. There was nothing new about that. The sheet had been wrong in the past, or they had swapped at the last moment. Listening to the sermon, she knew it was one of Jack’s. The odd turn of phrase and the section titles, made it evident he’d written it. Was there some truth to the malicious note? Had Jack been fired?
On the way out, Danny checked the pigeon holes by the door again.
Another note was there.
He held it out to her. The same hand writing, scent, and pale pink paper jumped out at her.
“I don’t want it. Not if it’s as nasty as the last.” She did
n’t take it and edged past him towards Pastor Bruce.
“Is something wrong?” Pastor Bruce looked at them. “I saw you pick that up.”
“Cassie got a rather nasty note before the service. It had been left in the pigeon holes. This one looks like it’s from the same person.”
“And?” Pastor Bruce asked.
They wouldn’t leave it alone. Couldn’t they see she really didn’t want to read it? She just wanted out of here and quickly. She looked desperately at Danny, wishing he’d just left without saying anything. He stubbornly held out the note, his eyes boring into her.
“Fine…” Cassie took and opened the second note reluctantly. You should never have made the dress. You’ll never wear it. He’ll only hurt you like he did me. He’ll get what he deserves. So will you. He’s no man of God. He’s an abuser. A man like him doesn’t belong here.
“More of the same,” she whispered, screwing it into a tight wad.
Pastor Bruce held out his hand. “May I?”
Cassie gave him both notes.
“Go and wait in the vestry,” he said. “I’ll be right there.”
Cassie made her way to the front of the church, feeling like she was going to throw up any minute.
Danny was right—someone was attacking Jack, and she was caught in the fallout.
Was it her fault? If he hadn’t been dating her then maybe it wouldn’t have happened.
“He hasn’t gone to find Jack, has he?”
“Jack wasn’t here this morning.” Danny said. “At least Lara wasn’t in Sunday School, so I’m assuming they aren’t here.”
“Yeah.” Cassie sat down on the edge of one of the chairs. “Do you think he’s been fired?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t imagine so.”
Pastor Bruce came in with another man and shut the door. “You know Detective Sergeant Nate Holmes, one of our elders.”
“Yeah, hi.”
“Hello.” Nate sat down opposite her. “Bruce showed me the notes you got. I need to hear from you where you found them and anything else you can tell me.”
“Danny actually found them.”
Danny quickly outlined what he knew to the detective.
“I don’t believe any of it. Jack’s not like that…” Cassie looked at Pastor Bruce. “Is Jack all right? You won’t fire him or anything because of this?”
“Jack offered to resign, but we convinced him to take a few days leave.”
“Then you knew about this?”
Pastor Bruce and Nate exchanged a long look.
“It’s an ongoing investigation,” he said finally. “But that’s between us.”
Cassie told Nate all she knew. “And then on Thursday, he told me he couldn’t see me anymore. I asked if someone complained, and he didn’t answer.”
Her phone beeped, and she pulled it out. A picture message appeared of Jack in the pulpit with a cross-hair fixed over his heart, a pair of crude horns drawn on his head. As she looked at the picture, the phone fell from numb fingers and everything faded for a moment. Someone shoved her head between her knees and told her to take a few deep breaths. After a moment the lightheadedness passed and she looked up. “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Danny told her. He pressed a glass of water into her hands. “Drink some of this.”
Somehow she managed to get her trembling hands to her mouth without spilling any. She leaned into Danny’s arms, wishing it were Jack holding her.
Nate laid her phone back in her lap. “I’ve forwarded that to my phone and put my number into yours. If you get any more like that or from that number I need you to send them on.”
“All right. Why would someone do this to him? It’s not like we’re going out anymore.” She closed her eyes, the image of Jack and the crosshairs still in her mind. “Is it a case of “if I can’t have him, no one can”?”
“That’s what I intend to find out.”
****
On the drive home, they passed the store.
Cassie looked at the dress in the store window. “That can go to charity when you’re done with it, bro.”
“But it’s your dress.”
“I don’t want it, not any more. I’ve finished Lara’s dress. I’ll put that one in tomorrow and then it’s done before the royal visit on Tuesday.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I promised, Danny, and I keep my promises.” Just like I will always love Jack, whether he wants me or not. Except mine isn’t a destructive love. If he finds happiness somewhere else, then I’ll be pleased for him.
****
Jack spent most of Monday in prayer and solitude. Lost without visits or sermon preparation, and even more so without Cassie, he couldn’t remember the last time he did nothing. It was a standing joke within the pastoral team that a pastor never really had a day off. A phone call from Bruce telling him about the threats Cassie had received, left him even more concerned than before, and he prayed harder for Cassie’s safety. Threats to him were one thing, but by breaking off their relationship, he’d hoped she would be safe.
He put the casserole in the oven and set off to collect Lara from school. He noticed Lara’s dress in the window of the store as he passed and made a mental note to show her on the way home. That might cheer her up a little. He stood in the playground as all the children came out and milled around him. One by one they all left, but Lara still hadn’t come out.
Worry gnawing at him, he went inside. Maybe she’d been kept behind.
Her teacher stood at the white board cleaning it off.
“Miss James?”
“Pastor Chambers. How can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Lara. She hasn’t come out yet.”
“She should have done. She was the first one out of the classroom.”
“I’ve been standing in the playground, opposite the door. She didn’t come out.”
“Let me go and check the bathrooms.”
Jack stood there feeling sick. Where is she? I know I didn’t miss her.
His worry only increased when Miss James came back without her.
“Isn’t she there?”
“No. Let me go and find Mr. Tovey.” She headed down the hallway to the head teacher’s office.
Jack’s whole body went numb. With shaking hands he pulled out his phone and dialed his parents. “Hi, Mum, it’s Jack. Is Lara there?”
“No. Why? Was I meant to pick her up?”
“No, no...She’s missing. I went to pick her up, and she didn’t come out. They can’t find her.”
“We’ll start looking. We’ll cover between here and the school. And we’ll pray.”
“Thanks, Mum.” Jack hung up as the two members of the teaching staff came towards him. “Anything?”
Mr. Tovey nodded. “I saw Lara leave through the main door with one of the other parents. I assumed she was going home with her.”
“Which parent?” Jack asked his heart pounding. This wasn’t possible. Any minute now he’d wake and Lara would be demanding cereal and cocoa before going to school.
“Miss Wickham.”
Alarm bells rang in Jack’s head as his heart descended into his shoes. His stomach twisted and a huge lump knotted in his throat. Oh, God, no, please…don’t let her do anything to harm her. It’s me she wants; don’t let her hurt my baby.
“No, she wasn’t picking her up. I always do. And if I can’t make it I always ring and let the school know.”
“I’m sorry. If I’d known—Let me ring her, find out if Lara is there.” He disappeared into his office.
Jack paced in the hallway, praying desperately that Lara was all right and safe. He pulled out his phone. Should he call Nate? What should he do? Perhaps she just wanted to scare him? She’d certainly done that. He’d never known the sheer panic that came from losing a child before now. Lara hadn’t even got lost in the supermarket.
He dialed Nate’s number and got voice mail. “Nate, its Jack Chambers. Can you ring me soon as you ge
t this message? It’s urgent. Lara’s missing. Thanks.”
It seemed an eternity before Mr. Tovey came back out.
“Well?”
“She says she dropped Lara off at home. I told her it was inappropriate and wrong of her to take a child home without your permission. I am so sorry. She’s been picked up by Miss Wickham before, so I simply assumed she was picking her up again.”
“I have to go find her.” Jack turned, walking to the door.
“Pastor Chambers...”
“Yes?” Jack turned.
“I really am sorry—this should never have occurred in the first place. I won’t let this ever happen again. I’ll implement policy to make certain of it.”
“I should go.” Jack hurried from the building, wishing he’d driven rather than walked. He started running, lamenting the fact he hadn’t kept up his fitness level. He’d gone from running daily to only once in a while. He reached the house and ran to the back garden. The back door key wasn’t in the hatch. Had Lara let herself in? He charged through the house calling her name, getting more desperate.
His phone rang. Chest heaving, he gasped a response. “Hello…”
“Jack, its Nate Holmes. What’s this about Lara going missing?”
“Pippa Wickham picked her up from school. No one stopped her. The school rang her and she said she’d taken her home. But I’ve searched the entire house and she’s not here.”
“OK. We’ll start looking and get uniformed officers out there, too. Don’t worry. We’ll find her. Is she wearing her school uniform?”
“Yes.” Jack hung up and dropped to his knees by Lara’s bed.
Lord God, where is she? Please let me find her. Keep her safe. Don’t let anything happen to her. Should I call Bruce? Maybe I’m misreading the situation and it’s all perfectly innocent. Then again, bearing in mind who’s taken her and Nate’s reaction to all this…Cassie…maybe Cassie would know something or seen them go past.
His phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Jack, it’s Mum. Have you found her?”
“No, Mum, I haven’t. She’s not at home. I don’t know what to do.”