Right in front of us was a booth selling cotton candy, and another one that had a ring-toss game. We stared in between the booths at the people walking down the midway.
“Looks like a lot of people are coming already.” I leaned on the fence next to her.
“Yeah, that has to be a good sign. Especially after the dry spell we’ve had.”
“Are you doing a show tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah. Just the peep show at eight,” Roxie said. “Zeke says the tigers need a rest, so we’re doing that tomorrow.”
Roxie apparently grew tired of people watching, so she once again made a fireball in her hand, but instead of a usual ball of fire, it was a small red spark that immediately went out.
“Dammit,” Roxie muttered. “My pyro has been acting weird all day. Sometimes I can’t even make any fire at all.”
“Maybe you’ve been using it too much,” I suggested, even though I’d never heard of Roxie having any issues with her fire before.
“Maybe,” she agreed, sounding unconvinced, but a small fireball formed in her hand, which seemed to relax her.
I stared ahead, trying to get a count on how many people might be here. Gideon had heard from a trusted friend that we would do well here. Since it was such a small town, I’d been dubious, but based on the turnout we were already having, it looked like his friend had been right.
And then I saw him, and my stomach dropped.
I’d actually seen Selena first, her black hair pulled back in a ponytail, as she held hands with her boyfriend, Logan. Another guy walked beside them, his hair slicked back, and wore a pair of shades that matched Logan’s.
That had been enough to startle me, but then Gabe had appeared at her side. They’d stopped right across from where I was hidden in the darkness behind the booth, but they were too far away for me to hear them.
“Oh shit,” I whispered.
“We’re far enough away,” Roxie insisted, shifting her fireball from one hand to the other. “Nobody can see the fire.”
“No, not that. It’s Gabe. He’s here.”
The fireball instantly went out, and Roxie leaned forward. “Which one?”
“That one.” I pointed to where Gabe stood, laughing at what Selena had said to him.
“He is hot. Wow.” Roxie sounded impressed. “You should totally get on that. I mean, if you hung out with him tonight, that would be like two dates, and that would fit your no-sex-on-the-first-date rule.”
I didn’t want to argue with her. Tall and lean, Gabe somehow looked even better than I remembered him. The sleeves of his denim jacket were pushed up to his elbows, and his smile was radiant.
“Last night wasn’t a date, and bumping into him at the carnival hardly counts as a date, either,” I countered Roxie’s logic. “Plus, if I’m like, ‘Hey, how are you? I’m a carnie,’ that will probably shut down any interest he has in me.”
“You say that, and you see how often me and Carrie get hit on,” Roxie said, referring to the other girl who danced with her.
“That’s different. You’re a tiger tamer’s assistant, and you dance sexy,” I said. “I do grunt work and clean up poop. I don’t have the same appeal.”
“Don’t tell him you’re a carnie,” Roxie suggested. “Just pretend you came to the carnival the same as him. Most of the people here don’t actually work here. He won’t think anything of it.”
“I don’t know.” I debated as Gabe went up to the cotton candy stand, momentarily disappearing from my line of vision.
“Mara. Just go. Have fun,” Roxie commanded.
I turned to face her. “How do I look?”
She readjusted my necklace and fixed the thin strap on my dress, then smiled approvingly at me. “You look good. Go.”
“Do you wanna come with me?” I asked.
“I would love to, but I can’t. I should go get ready. It’s close to showtime.”
“Okay.” I smiled uncertainly at her. “Thanks.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“So … what?” I laughed. “That means I can do everything?”
“Not everything. I would never go to that guy’s house and admire the architecture. So don’t do that,” Roxie said as I started to walk away. “In fact, try not to look at any buildings at all.”
9. diversions
Since emerging from the shadows behind the booths would probably seem a little creepy, or at the very least raise questions about where I had come from, I decided to run into Gabe in the gap between two booths a little way down.
But then I glanced out and saw that Gabe was holding cotton candy as Selena picked off several pink tufts. He wasn’t looking in my direction at all, so I stepped out in the bright lights of the carnival. I couldn’t just stand there, staring and waiting for him to approach me, so I decided to play whatever game I happened to be closest to.
When I realized what game it was, my smile instantly fell away. It was the milk-bottle toss, where you threw a rubber ball and tried to knock down weighted bottles. I didn’t mind the game so much, but the guy who ran it—Doug Bennett. Gideon was the head of the whole traveling carnival, but Doug was in charge of the midway, and sometimes he could be a jerk about it.
“You gonna try your luck again, Mara?” He had one foot on the corner as he stared down at me, chomping rather loudly on chewing tobacco.
“Pretend you don’t know me,” I said.
Doug’s bloodshot eyes appeared confused. “What?”
“Please. Just pretend you don’t know me,” I begged, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gabe and his family walking toward me. “For one night.”
Doug held out his grimy hand. “Then pay me if you wanna play.”
“Doug.”
“You want this to look real, then give me two dollars.” He opened and closed his hand, motioning for me to give him money.
“Ugh,” I groaned, and quickly dug into my bra, where I had exactly three dollars. Doug winked at me as I handed the cash over to him.
“Step right up, little lady, and win yourself a prize!” Doug shouted, putting on his full carnie routine. “Or would a strapping young man care to win a prize for the lady?”
“I can win a prize for myself,” I hissed with a thin smile plastered on my face. “I just wanted you to—”
“Mara?” Gabe asked.
I turned back to see him walking over to me, and I smiled at him. “Gabe. Hi.”
“How about you?” Doug leaned over the counter, still shouting so everyone around would hear him. “Would you like to win the pretty lady a teddy bear?”
“As I was just telling this nice game operator, I am perfectly capable of winning a prize myself,” I said.
Gabe eyed me up appreciatively and smirked. “I’m sure you are.”
“Then why don’t you win him a prize?” Doug turned to me. “I’m sure a young man like him would love one of our de-luxe teddy bears,” he said, pointing to the small, cheap bears that were hanging up all over the booth.
“Pardon?” I asked.
“You know what, I would.” Gabe walked up to the counter next to me and looked up at the blue teddy bear.
“What?” I asked, still not completely understanding what was happening here.
“I’d like a teddy bear.” Gabe grinned at me. “Nobody ever wins one for me. I always have to give them away, and I want one. It’d look great on my bed.”
“Everyone, watch as this strapping young woman wins the handsome young man a prize!” Doug shouted, speaking to the small crowd that was gathering around us. “She will prove her strength and her skill! Watch as she takes aim and proves her love—”
“Just give me the balls.” I cut Doug off and held my hand out. “I’ll do it.”
As he dropped the three lightweight rubber balls into my hand, Doug winked at me again. He moved as far to the side of the booth as he could get, which was good, because if he got in my way, I’d probably chuck a ball at him.
I threw
my first ball, and it slammed right into the top bottle. That one was easy. Unlike the ones at the bottom, it was weighed about what a milk bottle actually weighed. The bottom two were filled with sand and were much heavier.
Doug had suggested actually gluing them down, but Gideon thought that was taking things too far. Still, it was almost impossible to get all three of the bottles down. At least for people who hadn’t spent hundreds of hours of their life playing this game.
With the second ball, I threw it hard, aiming for the bottom center between the two bottles, and they both went down. They actually fell so hard that one of them ricocheted off the back wall before flying into the counter.
The people who had gathered around to watch applauded, and Gabe let out an approving whistle.
“I got down all the bottles in less than three balls, so I believe I have my pick of the prizes,” I said, smiling up at Doug. “And I’ll take the teddy bear.”
“Here you go, little lady.” Doug pulled down a bear and handed it to me. “And we have another champion! Fellas, step right up, and see if you can beat a girl.”
“I’m moving on now, but thank you.” I stepped away from the booth and handed the bear to Gabe, who looked impressed. “Here you go.”
“That was quite a feat of strength,” Gabe said.
“Thank you.”
“You remember my sister, Selena, and her boyfriend, Logan Montgomery.” He motioned to them with the cotton candy, and Selena took that as an invitation to walk over to us. Logan followed behind her with his friend in the matching shades. “And this is Logan’s friend, Troy Gendry.”
The name Gendry flashed back to the badge of the unhelpful deputy in town. Troy barely looked at me when Gabe attempted to introduce him, and even though he and Logan were still a few feet away from me, I could smell the alcohol coming off them in waves.
“I’ve been trying to get Logan to win me something since we got here.” Selena pointed her thumb back at him, and over the top of the shades I could see Logan give an exaggerated eye roll.
“Babe, if you want a tacky bear, I’ll buy you a tacky bear,” Logan said, loud enough so that everyone around us could hear, and Selena scowled at him. “I don’t need to spend time and money winning you one.”
“You don’t have to keep the bear.” I pointed to the bear that Gabe had under his arm. “You know, if you don’t want to.”
“Are you kidding me?” Gabe sounded offended. “I’ll treasure this forever.”
I laughed. “I’m sure you will.”
He turned to his sister, handing her the rest of the cotton candy. “Hey, Selena, do you mind if I head out? I think I’m gonna go walk with Mara and check things out.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. It was nice seeing you again, Mara.” She smiled at me.
“Yeah, you too.” I gave her a small wave as I started walking away with Gabe.
We walked down the midway, neither of us saying anything at first. Gabe twirled the blue bear in his hands, and I tucked my hair behind my ear. I was acutely aware that all the booths around us were filled with people I knew, people who were watching us and could easily out me as a member of the sideshow.
“So, you snuck out pretty early this morning,” he said, giving me a sidelong look.
“Yeah, sorry.” I smiled sheepishly at him. “I had some things I needed to do today, and you were sleeping soundly, so I didn’t want to wake you.”
“I was afraid that my snoring had frightened you off or something.”
I laughed and shook my head. “No, you didn’t snore.”
“I didn’t? Well, that’s good to know.” He smiled, then looked around, as if something just occurred to him. “Are you here with anyone? I’m not pulling you away from your friends, am I?”
“No. My friends, um, are watching a show,” I said, since it probably would seem weird if I came to the carnival alone.
Then again, I had gone to a party last night by myself. But that was all the more reason to make up friends now. I didn’t want to give him the idea that I was some kind of strange loner.
“Show?” Gabe asked.
“Yeah. There’re acrobats in the tent.” I pointed to the end of the midway, where a large red-and-white-striped circus tent was set up next to the rides. The Fantastic Flying Phoenixes was painted across the top in big letters, with a poster of Safēda and Mahilā off to the side, advertising the tiger show.
“Really? And you didn’t want to check it out?” Gabe asked.
I shrugged. “I’m just not that into acrobats, I guess.”
“So, you’re too good for acrobats, and you’re an expert at the milk bottle game. What do you wanna do next? Do you like any rides?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I am kinda partial to the Ferris wheel.”
I did actually love the Ferris wheel, but I was also looking for an excuse to get away from the bright lights of the midway and the prying eyes of nearly everyone I knew. My mom was busy in her tent, but if she came out, she’d spot me, and I wasn’t entirely sure how she’d react if she saw me flirting with a townie, no matter how cute he was.
“How about this? Since you won me this handsome bear, I’ll pay for your ticket,” Gabe suggested. “Sound fair?”
I nodded. “Yeah. That sounds perfect.”
10. rota fortuna
When we went over to the Ferris wheel, we had to wait in line, and I was surprised to see that the line was already so long since the carnival hadn’t opened that long ago. It worked in my favor, though. The guy running the ride was so busy that he didn’t even notice me when Gabe handed him our tickets, let alone comment on knowing me.
Gabe held the door open, letting me climb into the lavender gondola first, and he got in beside me. He put his bear on the far side of the bench, and he had to slide up next to me so his leg pressed against the thin fabric of my dress.
The ride jerked to a start when it began moving, causing me to lean against him. I laughed and moved away when it smoothed out again, as the car rose slowly into the night sky. Some of the lightbulbs that ran around the edge of the wheel had gone out, so the farther we went from the ground, the darker it became.
Each of the sixteen gondolas was painted in a different color from a pastel rainbow, but it had been a very long time since they’d been touched up, so the paint was chipped and faded from the sun. The logo for Gideon Davorin’s Traveling Sideshow had been painted on each of the doors, but it was almost unreadable now.
The wheel came to a stop again when we reached the top, as they unloaded and loaded passengers at the bottom. The gondola jerked a bit, and Gabe moved closer to me. His arm brushed up against mine, but he didn’t move it. His skin felt warm and tempting, the back of his hand resting against mine, but I didn’t take it.
Above us, the moon was fat and bright. It was warmer today than it’d been yesterday, though it had begun to cool since the sun had gone down. The humidity had stayed the same, and a white halo danced around the moon.
“It’s a full moon,” I said, mostly just to say something.
“Almost full,” Gabe corrected me. “Not quite, though.”
I tilted my head, looking at it harder, and realized he was right. An almost imperceptible sliver was missing from the side. The wheel moved back again, making the gondola sway slightly, and Gabe finally took my hand, sliding his fingers loosely through mine.
“My mom always said the full moon brings out the crazies,” I told him as the ride once again came to a stop.
“Yeah, my mom always said something similar,” he agreed, and there was a weariness in his words that made me look over at him. He stared down at our hands, a pensive expression on his face, his thumb rubbing gently on the back of my hand.
We’d reached the highest part of the Ferris wheel, and I looked out around us. Below us, the carnival was so far away, it looked almost magical. All the lights and colors and the soft sounds of the music all mixed together, and we weren’t close enough to see how faded and run-down everything
had become, so it all seemed rather pretty.
“This is my favorite part,” I said.
Gabe lifted his head to look at me. “What?”
“Sitting at the top of the Ferris wheel when it’s paused like this. You can see everything, and the whole world seems so quiet and far away. It’s peaceful.”
“You spend a lot of time on Ferris wheels?” Gabe asked with an arched eyebrow.
I smiled demurely. “Not as much as I’d like.”
“You have dimples when you smile,” he said with a bemused grin of his own.
“Yeah, I know.” I wanted to stop smiling then, but of course, I couldn’t. The small indents in my cheeks whenever I smiled had been the source of teasing as a child, and now that I was older, they succeeded in making me look younger, like a darker-skinned Shirley Temple. “It’s kinda the bane of my existence.”
Gabe laughed. “Why? They’re adorable.”
“Mmm, yes, that’s what every teenage girl dreams of being called—adorable.”
“Sorry, I’ll correct myself, then. They’re sexy. Like crazy hot,” Gabe said with exaggerated sincerity. “I can barely contain myself when you smile.”
“Thanks,” I said, suppressing my laughter.
His smile fell away, and so did mine. The wicked glint lingered in his eyes—a permanent reminder that there was something about him I shouldn’t trust—but I could see something smoldering in them, something that I’m certain reflected in my own eyes, and my breath came out more slowly.
Gabe leaned in, kissing me on the mouth. He let go of my hand, and his arm slid around my waist. The ride jerked as it began to move again, swaying our gondola, but it didn’t make us break apart. If anything, it only made us more fervent, knowing that we only had a short time left on this ride, a short time left to feel the strength of his arm around me, the heat of his lips against mine.
It was when the ride stopped again, almost halfway back down, that he pulled away. To kiss me, he’d turned sideways on the bench, facing me, and his arm rested on the back of the gondola. I leaned against the side, smiling at him and trying to catch my breath.
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