Her legs couldn't hold her up anymore, and she fell to her knees. Heath leaned down and pulled her into his arms.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I thought you would love it. I heard you go out on my balcony every morning. Shit! I shouldn't have done it without asking you first. I'll fix it. I swear."
Tara turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was so scared to let go of him. When she was finally able to speak, she pulled out of his hold and let go of him. She could do it, she told herself. They hadn't known each other long enough to be that sad. When she dried her tears and stood, he stood with her.
"It's perfect," she said. "It's beautiful. I didn't expect something this wonderful.
"You like it?" he asked.
"I do," she said.
Tara did her best to pull herself together. Everything he was showing her was better than she ever imagined it would be. It was a million times better than what she originally planned to do. When she looked around, Rick didn't pop into her mind at all. She couldn't see any of him anywhere in the house. The entire time she looked around, she thought of Heath. He'd done all of it for her and asked for nothing in return. How had she gotten a friend that amazing? What had she ever done to deserve it? He was everywhere she looked, but he was about to be gone. She was going to be on her own with her two reasons for living. Tara knew she needed to concentrate on being the best mom she could.
She stood tall and turned to walk into her bathroom. Heath laughed when she let out a squeal. He knew she'd found her new tub and shower. They were just like his. Tara jumped up and down like a small child. She was so excited.
It was time to let go and move on in her new life. She had nothing left to remind her of Rick. It was time to build the life she wanted for her and the boys.
"When are you building your next home to give away?" she turned and asked him.
"I got a call three days ago that they had a place for us to build on. The team that just worked on your house is going start on it next week. I'm getting the plans done this week."
"I want to help," she said. "How can I help? Wait, is that okay? I know I won't be living with you anymore. I'd like to help it you'll let me. I can't build anything, but I'm sure there are things you can show me that would help the guys out."
"You really want to help us build a house?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "The whole thing. I want to be there from start to finish. It's a great thing you're doing. Look what you've done for me. When I had nobody, you saved me. I want to do something to help someone else. I know that I don't know what your guys do, but I'm sure there is something I can do to lighten the load on everyone."
"I can think of a ton of things you could help with. There are things I'd like to do for the family when they move in that we haven't been able to do before. We build the homes, but I'd like for the kids' rooms to be more for them. When we're done, they look like any other room. A child should have a child's room. You can help build as well. I can show you what to do. Are you sure you want to do this? It's a very dirty job."
"You've seen me covered in dirt and paint. Don't you think I can get a little messy? I'm helping. That you for letting me be a part of something so huge and special."
Tara walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs.
"The boys are going to love this," she said, as she looked around. "Thank you for everything you've done for us, Heath. I've never met anyone like you. To think I didn't really like you when we first met. You were there to help me when I had nobody. I can't thank you enough. You honestly saved me more than you will ever know. Thank you."
Heath wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
"I didn't like you either," he said with a laugh. "You drove me crazy at first. You've kind of grown on me though. I hope you and the boys are happy. I know there are things you want to move around and do. I'll help you with everything. I'd like to see the their faces when they see the house if that's okay."
Tara thought about what Heath was saying. She loved the new changes more than she could have ever imagined. Her home was beautiful. It honestly was her dream home. She was on the exact spot of land she loved, and he'd made every change Rick had originally turned away. Everything was perfect. It really was. She just couldn't figure out why she was feeling the way she was. It was perfect, but she wasn't happy. She should have been jumping around and looking at everything, but she wasn't. Her dreams had come true. She had exactly what she wanted. Why was she feeling like her world was falling down around her, she wondered? Why wasn't it making her feel the way she knew it should? She felt horrible. Heath had done so much work, and she wasn't showing him what she should have been. He'd even apologized when she'd lost it upstairs.
"Tara," he said.
She took a step back and immediately lost that comfortable, safe feeling of being in his arms.
"Yes," she said.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "Of course you can see the boys' faces."
"We have lots of time," Heath said. "We can get everything exactly the way you want before you bring them over. I'll work on it whenever you want."
"Tomorrow," Tara said.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm going to bring them tomorrow."
"No," he said. "We have time to make it perfect for them, Tara. I didn't mean I wanted you to move them in right away. We can do things to their rooms and everything."
"No," she said, as her mind wandered for a moment.
Tara knew that she needed to get away from Heath's house. She had already overstayed her welcome. He needed to be able to have his privacy and life back. It was going to be hard enough for the boys. She didn't want to give them any more time to get even more connected to him.
"Everything is perfect. There is nothing that needs changed. You left it as if nobody had even worked here. Everything is back in its exact spot. There are enough changes for them to get used to. I don't want to change their rooms. I want those to be exactly the same. I'll do a couple of things tonight, and then I'll bring them home tomorrow."
She could have sworn he winced when she said bring them home, but she knew that was her mind playing tricks on her.
"Not yet," he said. "Don't you want to wait until the weekend or something?"
She shook her head at him, as she moved nervously from foot to foot.
"Everything is perfect the way it is. It's better than I ever imagined it could be. You gave us a porch and balcony just like yours. You did a great job," she said. "Let me take you out to lunch. Then we can go back to your house so I can get all of our stuff and give you your room back. You can have your party this weekend."
Tara smiled up at him. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"I didn't bring you here to see it so you'd leave my house. I didn't think you would want to leave so fast. You know I was joking about the party."
She nodded.
"I know," she said. "Come on. Let me feed you a good meal before I release you back into the world."
"That's not funny," he said.
"It is," she joked, as she walked out the front door.
Heath locked up her house. He walked her to her car and handed her the key.
"It's yours now," he said. "I have the extra keys at my house. I'll give them to you when we get there."
Tara got in her car and pulled down her long driveway. She quickly called her mom to see if the boys could stay the night and was very happy when her mom agreed to watch them. Tara needed one night alone before bringing the boys home. She knew it was going to be rough for her. Hold it together, she told herself. All she had to do was get through lunch, packing, and making it to her car. As soon as she walked back through her door, she could release everything she was holding in.
She took Heath to lunch. They were both pretty quiet. When she got back to his house, she packed all of her stuff and left his bedroom looking as if she had never been there. Tara even changed the sheets and threw t
he old ones in the wash.
The house was clean, dishes were done, and laundry was caught up. She was leaving him with a perfect home. That was what she kept telling herself anyway.
When she started packing the boys rooms and toys, he shocked her.
"Can you leave a change of clothes for each of them in their dressers?" he asked.
Tara stopped and turned to look at him.
"I'd also like it if you could leave them each one toy."
"Why?" she asked.
"I'm not walking away from them, Tara," he said. "Those boys have grown on me. I want to have them over from time to time if that's okay with you. Rick is an asshole. I don't know how he ever agreed to walk away from those two amazing boys. I want to be a part of their lives if you'll let me."
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes," he said. "I can be the cool guy in their lives. I'll feed them ice cream when they want it, eat dinner in front of the television, and slide down the stairs with them. These are their rooms. That's not going to change."
"What if you have people over or take in a stray client?" she asked.
"I still have one spare room," he said. "I don't make it a habit of letting clients into my home. You're the only one."
"So I'm special?" she asked.
"You're special all right," he said.
Tara did as he asked. She left each of the boys an outfit and toy. Then she boxed up the rest of their stuff.
"Why do they have more stuff than they started with?" she asked, as she handed Heath a box to take to her car.
"I already told you," he said. "I'm the cool guy."
She shook her head and laughed.
Heath helped her pick up their toys, books, and crayons that were in his living room and carried the box out to the car. She grabbed her laptop bag and writing stuff. When he came back in, she was waiting at the door.
"I'll bring the boys home at two o'clock tomorrow. I'll text you when we're on the way," she said.
Heath stood in the door with his hands shoved in his pockets. She knew she needed to get out of there before he saw her break down for the second time that day. Only, she wouldn't be able to cover it up by telling him how much she liked the house. Tara took a deep breath.
"Leave the boxes in the trunk. I'll carry them in tomorrow. I could follow you over now and unload them for you," he said.
"No," she said. "I'll be fine. Well, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Text me when you get there," he said.
Heath hugged her, but she pulled away quickly and hurried to her car. She made it all the way home and in the door before she melted down completely, as she slid down the door with her hands over her face.
She had planned on unloading her car that day, but it never happened. Tara made it as far as her room. She thought taking a bath would help. The tub was exactly the same as Heath's. She loved the feeling of the jets hitting her skin. Everything was identical, but she felt completely different. Tara finally gave up and got out of the tub. She fell on her bed in a robe and cried until she fell asleep.
When she woke up, it was dark out. She had slept for hours but felt just as exhausted as she had before her eyes closed. Fresh air, she thought. Maybe the air would help clear her mind. She was bringing the boys home the next day and needed to be ready and excited for them. They couldn't see fear or sadness in her eyes. It was going to be hard enough for them to leave Heath, she didn't need to make it any harder. She would have to put her own feelings away for her two precious boys. Tara knew she could do it. She'd done that before. It was in the privacy of her room that she'd release those feelings.
She couldn't get the sliding door open and laughed when she looked down and found a stick jammed in the bottom. Tara reached down, grabbed the stick, and slid the door open. He really was an amazing man, she thought. She walked out and looked into her yard. There were deer standing just at the line of trees that led into the woods. She watched them quietly as she let the tears fall freely down her cheeks.
Tara jumped when she heard a sound behind her. She spun around and gasped at sight in front of her.
Chapter 26
Heath
Heath closed his door and watched her car pull out of site. He grabbed a beer, fell back onto his couch, and turned on his television. A game, he thought. He turned on a game wanting to get out of the rut he was finding himself in. The game played in the background, but his mind kept going back to Tara and the boys. He looked around the room and every trace of them was gone. It was as if they were never there.
Before they came to stay with him he loved the quiet. The thought of tripping over a toy or a crayon would have driven him crazy. It wasn't like that anymore. He'd have given anything to trip over a toy.
On is way up the stairs, he thought about sliding down with the boys. They'd even gotten Tara to do it once. She acted like they were being silly, but the smile on her face when she slid down told a different story. He walked into Jason's room and looked at the toy she had left behind for him. Then he went to Jordan's and did the same. He made a mental note to go to the toy store and buy them some toys to keep at his house. When he walked into his bedroom, she was all he could think about. He thought about the last night she was there. He'd gone to her room to talk to her. She looked so beautiful and comfortable. They had only had that one very intimate experience, and he couldn't help but think about having her beneath him in his bed. They'd shared a few kisses, but she avoided any chance of being intimate like that again.
Heath knew she was just a client in the beginning. By the time she left, she was his friend. She didn't want more than that. That had been obvious after that one moment. There was never a chance of being with her. She'd avoided it at all costs. He knew she had been through a lot with her ex, and she wanted to focus on the boys. Heath had told her he didn't want kids. He'd told her he was never going to be in a relationship. Tara thought he was in love with Lisa. He hadn't thought about Lisa in months. All of his thoughts were consumed by Tara. She didn't have anything to do with him and was even shocked that he asked if he could still see the boys.
He had no idea how he was going to work on houses with her without telling her how he really felt about her. Then again, he'd been doing just fine hiding his feelings while she lived there. At least he'd be able to see her. Even if it was only at work.
When he opened the door to his balcony, he pictured her and the boys looking out at the pond and deer in his yard. He looked over and saw that she had left a book on the chair he knew she sat in every morning while the boys were still asleep.
His thoughts jumped to the book she had just published. She didn't live there anymore. She'd gotten out of his house as fast as she possibly could. He never expected her to leave the same day. That was one more sign that she wanted nothing to do with him. Not the way he wanted her anyway.
Heath went and grabbed his laptop before going out and sitting in her chair on his balcony. He'd been able to see her author name when he was looking over her shoulder. As soon as he found it on Amazon, he one-clicked and opened it. He'd had no idea what the book was really about. He'd only joked with her over and over that it was about him. Heath knew it wasn't, but he liked the way her face crunched all up when he mentioned it.
The cover had a couple kissing on it. The man had his knee up on a table. He held her in his arms, as he leaned her back and looked into her eyes to kiss her. It was very sweet. Then he clicked to the inside. He stopped on the dedication.
"Thank you for being there. Thank you for giving me everything when I had nothing to give in return. Thank you for being my friend."
Heath thought about those words. He knew they couldn't have been for him. Then he shook it off and dove into the book.
He stopped twice to run down to the fridge for a soda and then right back to the balcony to continue reading. Heath read often, but he had never read an entire book in one sitting before.
When he read the words the end, he noticed how dark the world around him
was. He felt tears sliding down his face and hurried to wipe them away. Then he clicked forward to read her acknowledgements. There were two of them. The first one made him chuckle.
"Thank you to the two people I live my life for every single day. Thank you for putting up with a late dinner every now and then. I love you both more than you will ever know."
Then he continued on to read the only other one there.
"Thank you to the man who was there for me when nobody else was. You saved my life in more ways than one. For that I will be forever thankful. You've given up so much more than just money for me. I've watched you give up so much of your time and patience for me too. You've done so much more than just repair my home. I know what you say you don't want. I just hope that one day you will realize that you were built for love. It's who you are. You have given me hope for the future. You've made me realize there is so much better in the world. One day you are going to be an amazing husband and an even better father. I hope you find that special someone. You deserve it more than anyone I've ever met. Thank you so much for everything. Most of all thank you for being my friend. You will probably never know the way I truly feel about you. I know you will never read this, so this is where I will say it. I love you. You own my heart."
Heath read those lines over and over. When he shut the laptop and stood, he felt more tears slide down his cheeks. Stop being a pussy, he told himself. Men don't cry over girls. He shut the door, walked through the quiet house, put his boots on, grabbed his keys and hers, and locked his front door behind him. He wasn't going one more second without her in his arms.
Built for Love (Bachelor Billionaire #5) Page 16