by J. A. Delese
“If you try one more time, I’m going to bring your only family here and make you watch her DIE!”
In shock, Eva dropped the cup.
Shit! she shouted in her head. Some of the juice had spilled on the floor. She tried to wipe off the spilled juice with a tissue, and then she heard the door open. A slim and tall man came out from the room and looked at her. He was looking down at her with an angry face, so she felt frightened once again. She didn’t even know how to react properly. She just stared at his blue eyes with fear. He moved his eyes from her to the spilled juice.
“I…I’m sorry—” she apologized in a small voice, but suddenly they heard a noisy alarm from the patient’s room. Eva ran to Catherine right away. Her heart rate was declining, and she went into a convulsion. Eva pressed the emergency key for help, and Dr. Dempsey arrived in a minute. He checked her condition and tranquilizers were administered to her.
Eva caught a glimpse of this man’s face. He looked totally shocked, but Eva couldn’t forget what she had heard just now. The horrible words this man spit out.
Who is he?
She looked at him again. He was wearing a black suit and—honestly—looked quite dashing. The way he was talking to Dr. Dempsey was very gentle and kind, so she couldn’t believe it was the same man who threatened Catherine just now. She shook her head shortly and turned her eyes to Catherine. She fell asleep again. She also looked like a nice person to Eva, so she got confused.
What happened to them? Should I inform the doctor of what happened?
She turned her eyes to Tom. His eyes were fixed on Catherine and never moved.
Maybe just warn him? Maybe that will be better?
Dr. Dempsey left the room, but Eva didn’t follow him. Dr. Dempsey turned back to find her and gave her a look of come-out-now, but she took several steps towards Tom.
“She needs absolutely quiet rest,” she said firmly as she looked him in the eyes. He looked a bit staggered, but answered in the end.
“Sure.”
Eva nodded with a smile and left the room. The last thing she saw from the ward was that he was just looking at her.
Catherine
It was nice to be hospitalized. The room had a nice view and was well lit. More importantly, she liked the nurse here. She was so kind and a nice person to talk to. Of course, it wasn’t easy to do remedial exercise, but honestly, it was far easier than staying in the same place with him.
He visited her sometimes—usually during the daytime—and checked her condition with doctors and took a look at her for few seconds before leaving. So, the actual time she had to see him was less than ten minutes a day—how nice!
She hoped to stay in this hospital as long as possible. She didn’t want to imagine that she had to go back to that house and stay there alone forever.
She sighed deeply. Thinking of going back made her sad again. She didn’t even think about how to run away this time. She didn’t have enough energy to think about it. She felt too tired every single second.
“Whatever,” she said with a sigh of resignation. She lay on her side and closed her eyes, but she heard some sound from the living room and opened her eyes again. She could hear someone stepping inside.
Check up again? But, they did one thirty minutes ago.’ she wondered, but didn’t mind. Must be another check up.
She heard someone come into the room. She waited for the nurse to do whatever she was supposed to do, so she lay still on the bed. This nurse, however, even several minutes later, didn’t do anything.
Strange. Why doesn’t she do anything?
She couldn’t resist her curiosity and turned back to see the nurse. Then her mouth dropped open. It wasn’t a nurse. It was him! Her eyes met his straight on and she didn’t know what to do. It was late at night and he usually didn’t visit her at this time!
Why is he here? At this hour?
He was just looking at her without saying anything. She felt awkward, and was about to ask what he was doing here when she heard the door open once again and two nurses came in. They came into the bedroom and started to make a bed.
What is this…?
Catherine felt a sinking in her stomach and wanted to ask him about this, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t dare say anything. She remembered what he said last time.
If you try one more time….
She shivered with fear. He had looked like a real, intimidating monster at the time—his voice sounded serious.
He said he would hurt my family.
The only family she had was her mother. She felt she couldn’t live anymore, if anything happened to her mom because of her. So, she decided to just lie on the bed and not say a word. After making the bed, one of the nurses checked her, and then they left in the end. It was just two of them in the room. She lay on her side, facing away. Though her back was toward him, , she could feel his eyes on her. She didn’t know how many minutes had passed, but she continued waiting for him to talk. She was quite scared at what he was going to do, but she told herself that she should let him do whatever things he wanted, so she was just lying still and just like that, she fell asleep.
She didn’t even realize she was asleep. She just felt that someone was touching her and she opened her eyes. Someone was hugging her from the back. She didn’t need to turn back to see who it was. It was him. She could smell him. Moreover, she was so familiar with this position. For the past year—roughly—she’d been sleeping like this. He always hugged her when he was asleep.
He put more strength in his arm and hugged her more tightly. She coulf feel his breath near her ear.
And you will say ‘don’t leave me, Liz,’ she said in her head.
That was the usual pattern. He held her in his arms and said don’t leave me, Liz. She waited for the familiar sentence, but what she heard was something she hadn’t expected.
“I thought you were dead…,” he whimpered.
Her eyes opened wider.
Is he crying?
“I thought I would never see you again. Never going to talk with you again,”
he said, so close to whimpering.
She didn’t know how she should answer. She wasn’t sure if she needed to console him or ask him to let her go now. Honestly, she didn’t want to do any of them. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to lie on the bed quietly, so she did. He also did the same thing. He didn’t say a word and just held her in his arms. She felt strangely comfortable in this position and was about to fall asleep again, but then he held her tighter. He held her so tight this time that she felt it was difficult to breathe. She wanted to ask him to stop, but he opened his mouth first.
“I will not let you die. You cannot die. I’ll never let you die.”
Tom
“She doesn’t talk.”
He read what Susan had typed on her phone. He was aware that she didn’t talk much these days. No, it not much.
I haven’t heard her voice for so long.
It’d been more than three weeks since she had come back to the house, but he had no chance to talk with her till now. He’d been extremely busy lately, so when he came home, she was already asleep in the bed. Initially he thought she was very tired because she was on medication, but what Susan told him was different from what he thought. Susan said she stayed in the guest bedroom during the daytime.
“Guest bedroom? Why?” he asked.
Susan shrugged her shoulders. The guest bedroom was the only bedroom on the first floor. All the other rooms were on the second floor, so this guestroom was far from their bedroom.
Why is she staying there? To avoid me?
Maybe she didn’t want to see him, and so stayed as far as she could from him.
But I’m not even at home during the day.
He feels this was strange. Why did she hide there if she didn’t have to avoid him?
“Do you know what she’s doing in that room?” he asked.
Susan typed something on the phone again and showed it to
him.
“She just sits down near the window, looking outside of the window for long time.”
What? Is it a sort of depression?
He frowned with the thought, and Susan showed her phone once again.
“I guess it’s because she can’t sit on the balcony.”
“Maybe,” he said.
Maybe Susan was right. Since the last incident, he had locked up all the balcony doors to stop her from doing something stupid again. Maybe she found her plan B. It was understandable, but why wouldn’t she stay in the master bedroom, then?
Susan showed him her phone again. “And she doesn’t eat much. I’m really worried about her.”
“I understand. Thank you, Susan,” he said and turned his eyes back to the laptop. He thought Susan would leave the room, since she had finished reporting, but she was still standing there. He lifted his head up to looked at her, but she was busy typing something.
What now? He felt a bit annoyed. Does she think I’m not worried about her?
He’d been worried about her ever since he found her in the snow. He knew that she didn’t talk or eat much. He was also aware that whenever he touched her, she didn’t resist anymore. It wasn’t just that she didn’t resist, but she also didn’t react. Whatever he said or did, she didn’t respond. It seemed like she had given up on everything. Sometimes, he even felt like she had become a doll.
Maybe she resists tacitly.
He breathed out heavily. He didn’t understand why it should be so difficult like this. Since the first day they met, everything had been rough. He felt exhausted at all these things, but he was still certain about one thing—he wouldn’t let her go.
At least, not now.
He knew that he should let her go someday, but he could not imagine that he wouldn’t see her or touch her anymore. He didn’t even remember how he lived till now without her in his place.
He read Susan’s phone. “Maybe your grace allows her to read the books in this room?”
“Books?” he asked and looked around at the books in his study. There were so many books in the room, since he loved to read. Before he brought her here, he usually read books on the weekend. It was good to read books with some wine in a quiet place.
“Alright,” he answered shortly and Susan smiled.
After Susan left the room, he leaned back in his chair. He knew that she was trying to avoid him. When he came back home, he couldn’t see her—he didn’t know where she was, but now he knew she was in the guestroom. After he took his shower, he could see her lying on the bed, but she’s lying on her side, so he could only see her back. He was thinking to talk with her about this, but he had too many things to do now, so he decided to handle this later. So, he would let her be like this…for now.
Catherine
She was looking up at the cloudless sky. The sun was shining, and it made her feel a bit better, but she still crouched there without moving. She felt so empty inside. She knew that there was nothing she could do, so she spent her days in torpor.
Maybe I will die like this….
This was not the first time that she thought about this. Previously, she felt scared to die like this and trembled in fear; however, she didn’t feel scared anymore. She didn’t want to kill herself, but didn’t want to save herself either. Time passed by, and she would die in the end. It didn’t matter how.
You are dying, she told herself, but she didn’t feel sad. Maybe it was good that she was dying in this way. It was peaceful and quiet—no pain, no tears.
She leaned her body against the window glass and closed her eyes, but she opened them when she heard the door open. It was Susan. She had brought a cup of tea for her. Catherine smiled at her. Previously Susan stayed during the business day only, but now she stayed here for the whole day.
He wants her to watch over me.
She smiled bitterly.
Susan showed her phone to her. “You can read some books, if you want.”
Catherine had not read books for such a long time already. She loved reading books, but she was scared that he was going to get upset if she read his books. He might get angry that she put her hands on his belongings.
“Are you sure he’s not going to get angry?” she asked. She really didn’t want to make him upset at this point. So far, he hadn’t bothered her at all. She assumed that it was because he was busy at work, but whatever the reason was, she was happy that he didn’t pay attention to her. She said again, “I really don’t want to make him angry.”
Susan started to type something.
“I asked him. He said it’s okay if you read books.”
“Alright,” she answered and moved to his study on the second floor. He had so many books. She looked around the room to find what she liked. He had many books about history or management, but she didn’t want to read them. She just wanted to read something funny that a happy ending. Something like….
“A Midsummer Night’s Dream….” She picked it out of the books and opened it. It was a thin book since it only had this one script, so she liked it even more. She’d like to read a book that was not too long. She flipped through the pages and found a piece of paper.
No, it’s not paper. It’s a photo.
She saw a boy and a girl in the photo. They looked like teenagers, and the boy had his arm around her shoulder. She recognized the boy. It was actually easy to tell. The boy has blonde hair and light blue eyes.
It’s him.
She moved her eyes to the girl. The girl also had blonde hair and blue eyes. She could tell that she was very beautiful. She didn’t know why, but she knew who this girl was.
“Liz,” she whispered.
So, this is the girl he misses so much.
This girl was indeed pretty. Her eyes, nose, and lips were all lovely. She recalled what he said to her: She’s nothing like you!
Yeah, she’s nothing like me.
She smiled bitterly again. She put the photo back into the book and left the book as it was.
Then why are you doing this to me? she asked him in her head. She still didn’t understand why he chose her. She wasn’t blonde or blue eyed.
I’m a totally different race.
She sighed heavily and moved to the other side of the bookshelves. She didn’t know exactly why, but she chose Ulysses from the books. She had heard that this book was very difficult to read, so she wanted to try it out.
Good for killing my time here.
Tom
He opened his eyes and checked the clock. It was nine in the morning. He didn’t feel so tired these days when he woke up in the morning. He assumed that it was because he didn’t dream lately. Even though Catherine told him that he called her Liz every night, he didn’t remember seeing Liz bleeding in his dream.
Thanks to her.
He smiled faintly. It was really good to have her in his place. Though he was aware that it was against her will, he loved it. He seriously thought this was the best thing he had done for his life since Liz left him. He wanted to touch her and make love to her, so he reached for her, but she wasn’t there.
Again, he frowned. These days, when he woke up in the morning, she had already gotten out of bed. He knew she went to the guest bedroom to hide from him. He didn’t like it. If he could not see her or touch her whenever he wanted, what was the point of keeping her here?
He took a shower and ran down the stairs to the guest bedroom. He thought briefly of knocking, but decided not to. He didn’t feel that he needed to be kind to her now, since she didn’t even want to see his face. So he opened the door without knocking and saw her crouched and reading a book in the corner. She also looked up at him, and her eyes opened wide, showing him she was either surprised or scared. He didn’t like it either way. He walked towards her without saying a word. As he approached, he could feel that she got more scared, and it made him more upset. He snatched the book from her and read the title.
“Ulysses.”
It was unexpected, and he unconsciously
snorted with laughter.
“Do you understand this book?” he asked, but she didn’t answer. She just lowered her eyes and didn’t say anything back.
He suddenly felt embarrassed. He didn’t mean to start the conversation this way. He was just curious about whether she understood this book, since he gave up reading it long ago. He got so frustrated watching her like this.
Why doesn’t she talk to me? Why does she have to react in this way?
Now, he honestly felt that he would be more appreciative if she yelled at him. He waited several seconds more for her to talk, but she didn’t open her mouth. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he lowered his voice to show her he was serious and asked again, “Answer me. Do you understand this book?”
She shook her head this time.
What the….
He really couldn’t understand her. As he knew, she was not stupid, but she was acting like a fool now. Why was she doing this? Did this bring her some sort of satisfaction? Was she purposely doing this to make him angry?
“Is this a way of showing you are against me?” he asked in a low, thick voice.
“No, I’m not,” she answered right away this time, but her voice was so weak and timid. He felt even worse and more irritated. He wanted to end this weird conversation.
“Don’t touch my books again,” he spit the words at her to see her reaction, but she didn’t say anything, only nodded. He felt his frustration and anger rise at the same time, so he stalked out of the room and fiercely slammed the door.
Susan
It’d been more than six years since she’d started working for him. She was hired right after he bought the house. As she knew, his father, Stephen Sharpe, recommended her to Tom. His father’s secretary told her that he particularly wanted someone quiet, and she was sure that no one could be quieter than herself.
He’d been a good employer. He didn’t ask her to do anything difficult or scold her for whatever ridiculous reason. She had experienced many of those crazy, rich employers and could say he was the best one among them so far. Actually, she thought he was even better than his father, no, than his mother, to be precise. His mother, Ingrid, liked to rearrange the furniture sometimes and asked her to move things from here to there quite often. Susan didn’t like to do it. Tom, however, had never asked her to do anything like that. He rarely stayed at home and didn’t really care about furniture or interior design as long as the house was neat and clean. Moreover, he paid her well and was very kind, polite, and well mannered. So what was happening now was so strange to her, and it was very difficult for her to understand what he was doing to Catherine.