by ANDREA SMITH
"And you know damn well I've no issue telling them it's none of their business. In a very respectful manner, of course."
Eli nodded, picking at his beer label."Okay, I'll buy that, but I mean . . . why?" He looked back over at me.
"Seriously? You have to ask?" I said, sprinkling grated cheese over my finished—and what I hoped would be delicious—project. "'Hey, Daddy. So, I just wanted to run it by you that I’m currently preggo by the guy you hired to mentor me. P.S. I wouldn’t touch that fax machine for awhile, and can you pass me the ketchup?’ Yeah, how’d that sound? Because that’s pretty much how it would go. I kind of like my dad… and I’m really not ready to give him a coronary.”
Eli picked a sliced radish from the relish tray, popping it into his mouth. "That's not the real reason, is it?"
"Of course it is," I lied. "What else could it be?"
I heard his soft smirk in response. "You're afraid of them finding out their little girl enjoys it rough and loud, aren't you?"
"Bite me," I replied, flipping him off. "Maybe I'll tell them it's you, Eli. Yeah . . . I'll tell them I got you drunk one night and tried to convert you back over."
He laughed loudly. "My girl's back," he said, grinning. "And in fightin' form."
We got through the cook-out with no major snafus. Harper kept everyone entertained with the cute little baby things she did. I managed to pull Lindsey aside, asking her to come upstairs so we could talk. I'd already told her about Easton leaving, extremely proud of the façade I'd put up that it was for the best. I was starting to believe that myself.
Once in my room, I closed the door. "You haven't said anything to Taz about me being pregnant, have you?"
"Of course not," she hissed, feigning insult. "I promised I wouldn't but sooner or later he's going to figure it out, Darce. Like everyone else."
“Well, yeah,” I agreed with her. “I totally planned on letting them know when we sent out the baby-shower invites.” I smiled at her.
I’m pretty sure I saw her left eye twitch at that comment.
"I know, I know," I replied, testily. "I'm telling my parents this afternoon."
She crossed her arms. "No shit?"
"Yeah, but here's the thing: I'm not telling them Easton's the father for my own personal reasons. Don't ask. I wanted to make sure you knew that in case my mom tries to grill you somewhere down the road, got it?"
She nodded, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, it's just . . . who are you going to tell them is the father?"
"Darin," I replied, clearly out-of-the-blue. "It's perfect, isn't it?"
"Huh?"
"Yes," I said, my eyes brightening. "It's fucking fantastic. I mean, come on? He's in freakin' Alaska, right?"
"Oh Darce . . . I mean I don't know about doing that. . . "
"Oh, hell," I snapped. "It's not like I'm going to tell anyone else that! Geesh, Linds. My parents don't know anyone with the agency, I mean other than Taz, that is."
"Speaking of Taz," she replied, crossing her arms, "when is he allowed to find out?"
"I don't know. Not yet."
She sighed, shaking her head. "Well, I wish you luck with your folks, but I'm betting they're going to be tickled pink."
"Or blue," I said, giving her a wink.
Everyone had left. Mom was in the kitchen helping me with the dishes. I guessed now was as good of time as any.
"Mom," I said, rinsing off a platter. "I've got some news to share with you and Daddy."
She looked up from the stove she'd been wiping clean. "Good news, I hope," she said with just a hint of trepidation.
"Well, I hope you think it's good news. I'd rather tell you first just in case it isn't though."
She nodded, waiting for me to continue. I had her full attention now.
Oh God…
"I'm pregnant. The baby's due in mid-January and the father's in Alaska," I blurted out quickly.
"Oh, Darcy," she breathed, allowing the news to sink in fully. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw the corners of her mouth turn upward in a smile. "I don't know what to say. I mean I'm happy if you're happy, darling. I'm not that old-fashioned, you know? A lot of young people don't get married until after the baby arrives . . . well, look at Lindsey, for example. That worked out well for everyone."
She came over, pulling me into her arms for a "mom" hug, patting my back. "My baby's having a baby," she sighed, sounding all choked up.
"Yeah, Mom, there's just one more thing. Marriage isn't going to happen, I'm afraid. Still okay with it?"
She put her hands on my arms and pulled back to look at me. "Can your father and I at least know who the father of our grandchild is?"
And. Here. We. Go…
"Darin," I said, quickly, turning my face from her. "We uh, we hooked up again thinking we might reconcile but realized it wasn't gonna happen. My Depo shot had expired, that's why that post-card from my gyno came to your house. Just one of those flukey things, ya know?"
Her forehead creased in a frown. "Darin does plan on taking financial responsibility, though, right?"
"Oh, sure," I lied, nodding my head up and own. There was no way in hell I wanted to belabor the whole 'Darin' topic right now. "Listen, Mom, would you mind telling Daddy on the way home?"
She eyed me warily, shaking her head. "Why?"
"Because," I little-girl whined, "I don't want to know how mad or disappointed he's going to be when he finds out." I totally knew that I was taking the coward route. I get it, but do you a blame a girl for wanting to… I don’t know, live? And this talk with Mom was already kind of giving me heart palpitations, so I could only guess how the ol’ talk with Dad was going to go.
"I suppose," she replied, giving me another hug. "I'm sure he's going to be as thrilled as I am, so don't stress. Have you been feeling well?"
"Umm hmm," I nodded. "I feel better now that I've given you the news."
"Well, you know there are plans you'll have to make soon about after the baby arrives. I mean you don't intend to stay here in this apartment do you?" She made a point to look over at the living room, probably noting that a baby wouldn’t really go well with Eli’s surround-sound stereo system.
"Mom," I said, returning to the sink, "I can't think about that right now. I'm taking this one day at a time."
They'd only been gone for five minutes when I looked at Eli who was sitting on the sofa next to Cain. "Well, my ears are burning. Mom's told Daddy," I said.
"Oh, chill," he laughed. "That baby will be spoiled rotten, just like you were. Your dad isn't going to disown his 'wittle' girl," he teased.
"I'm just hoping he doesn't book a flight to Alaska to hunt down Darin and make him do the right thing."
"Shut up! No. You. Didn't!"
"Oh, but I did," I giggled, heading upstairs. "Night, boys."
It was mid-August and I'd just left Dr. Billingsley's office and was heading to 'Tater's for lunch. I was officially four months pregnant, my blood-work was fine and I'd gained seven pounds total. No one seemed to have noticed the seven pounds. Maybe it was because I was tall. My tummy had a small baby bump which wasn't difficult to conceal at all. I figured by the time Colin and Ronnie returned from their honeymoon cruise my pregnancy would be noticeable, so I wasn't about to spill anything before then.
My mother called me practically every day to make sure I was eating right, getting enough rest and taking my vitamin. Geesh! Of course both parents were now quite excited about becoming grandparents, even though my father had told my mother he'd like to "shake the shit out of Darin" for being so irresponsible and leaving me in a lurch.
Ah-hem, yeah, I know.
Ronnie and I usually had lunch a couple of times a week. I was her only girlfriend in D.C. I'd invited Lindsey to join us a few times with Harper (who Ronnie of course adored) so now she could add her to her list of D.C. friends. I was meeting them both for lunch today.
I was running a few minutes late. I
spotted Lindsey at a table outside in the shaded garden area. I so hated the heat and humidity these days. I figured it must be something with my pregnancy hormones. I parked my car, nodding to Lindsey who was waving wildly as if I couldn't spot her.
"I went ahead and ordered you iced lemonade," she said, nodding to the seat where a tall, frosted glass of it was set on the table.
"Thanks," I said, lifting it to take a long drink. "I swear to God I'm so over this fucking summer. Where's Harper?" I asked, finally noticing the stroller wasn't parked next to Lindsey's chair.
"Oh, Taz is with her at home," she replied, sipping her iced tea. "He has the rest of this week off and then next week as vacation. Then he's gone on assignment for the next three to four weeks after that. Guess where?"
I rolled my eyes at her, smiling. "I swear Lindsey, you're like a kid whenever you have gossip or juicy tidbits, aren't you?"
She nodded, giggling. "New York," she said, unable to keep it to herself any longer. "And," she continued, drawing each word out, "he mentioned he's going to be touching bases with Easton while he's there. Apparently there's some drama in the family going on."
"Really?" I commented, not particularly interested in the topic of Easton. It still hurt at times.
"I'd give you the details but I'm not sure if Taz wants me putting family business out there like that," she qualified.
"Hmm, let me guess. Taz and Easton aren't brothers," I replied, taking another long sip of my drink. I watched as Lindsey's eyes bugged out in shock and awe.
"You knew?" she gasped. "Did Easton tell you? I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Okay, now she was downright hurt.
"Listen," I said, nodding towards the parking lot, "Ronnie's here. We can talk about it later, okay?"
We enjoyed our lunch together. Ronnie brought pictures of her wedding dress to show us. It was very traditional, similar to Lindsey's. She had her final fitting the following day.
"So," she said, turning her attention to me, "you're still planning on coming to our wedding, aren't you? You haven't R.S.V.P.'d yet, Darcy."
Holy shit! What the hell do I say?
Both of them were watching me, waiting for my response.
"Ronnie," I started slowly, "you know I want to be there of course. I mean, Colin's my boss, and both of you are my friends, but I just don't think I'd be . . . comfortable."
"Rubbish," she said, picking the tomato slice off of her club sandwich. "You've got to face Easton some time, right?"
This was the first time she'd actually come out and mentioned the bastard's name. Up until this point, we'd skirted the issue.
I thought about that for a moment. "No," I said, shaking my head. "I don't ever have to face him again if I'm lucky."
"So, you're going to let his assholiness keep you from my wedding and what's promised to be a great time?"
How much does she know?
Lindsey piped up in my defense. "Ronnie, there are other circumstances involved here," she said quietly. "It probably wouldn't be a good idea for Darcy to be traveling to New York by herself."
"It's not that," I interrupted, a bit snappish. "I just don't want to go by myself, I guess."
Ronnie rolled her eyes. "The invitations reads 'and guest'," she pointed out. "Bring your friend, Eli. Or how about Lindsey, here?"
Lindsey immediately perked up. "I'd love to go with you, Darce. I haven't been to the city since my freshman year in college. I'm sure Mom or Grandma would keep Harper. We could spend a few days there, do some fall shopping, see a play? I haven't been anywhere since my honeymoon," she whined.
"Ha," I said, smiling, "you just want to go because you're thinking Taz might still be there on assignment and you can hook up for an hour or so." I watched as Lindsey's face turned a lovely shade of pink, knowing I'd hit the nail on the head.
"You know we don't communicate much when he's on undercover stuff," she mumbled, poking at her salad. "I just thought it might be nice to have some female bonding with my B.F.F., that's all."
"I'll think about," I said, knowing that I'd give in because the truth was, I wanted to prove to myself I could face Easton Matthews one more time to show him I'd survived just fine without him.
"Great!" Lindsey and Ronnie both said together.
Yep. It was a done deal . . . Fuuuuck!
When I returned to the office after lunch I was surprised to find my father coming out of Colin's office. He immediately brightened when he saw me, coming over to plant a parental kiss on my cheek.
"What are you doing here, Daddy?"
He scrunched up his nose (kind of the way that I do) and said, "I own a good piece of this company, Darcy. I'm exercising my authority to work on site so that I can keep an eye on my daughter while she's in this delicate condition," he laughed good-naturedly.
"Shhh," I hissed quietly. "That's not common knowledge around here." I saw my dad's expression morph to serious and I knew immediately he'd shared this info with Colin.
Dayummmm!
"Oh, I see. Well, I'm off to play some golf before I come back to fill in for Colin," he said, anxious now to get the hell away from me. "See you full-time in a few weeks," he said, giving me another peck on the cheek as he hurried out.
I sat down at my desk and started going through the emails that had come in since I'd been out for my doctor's appointment and then lunch. My Outlook In-Box 'pinged' with a new arrival from "C. Devers."
'Darcy - Got a minute? Come on in . . . Colin'
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I gathered my notebook and pen and went through the door to his office. Easton's old office. The office where lots of lewd and lascivious things had happened when the door had been closed. I shook those memories away, just like I did all the others when they came to my mind totally uninvited.
"Yes?" I said, taking a seat as he motioned for me to. He went over, closing the door between our adjoining offices.
"Darcy," he said, sitting back in the leather chair, his hands clasped behind his head, trying to choose his words carefully. "I'm walking a fine line here. I realise that, so please bear with me?"
I nodded, duly noting the sincerity in his voice and his expression. "Your father was just in here at my request to review some of the current projects, bids, submission dates and what-not before I leave in two weeks to prepare for the wedding. He's filling in while I'm gone for six weeks." Colin stopped, swiveling in his chair and looking quite uncomfortable.
"He happened to mention you're expecting a baby mid-January. Of course, he's ecstatic about the notion as any grandparent would be. It's certainly none of my business, but did you ever plan on letting me know of your . . . condition?"
Now it was my time to squirm. Legally, I had no responsibility to let my employer know anything until I needed to for Family Medical Leave Act, but I knew Colin wasn't trying to be invasive, he was trying to be compassionate and caring.
"I guess . . ." I stammered, "I mean I thought once you'd returned to work at the end of October, well . . . it'd be kind of obvious."
He swung back around and stood up, walking around to the front of his desk, and copping a seat on the corner of it, his long legs out-stretched in front of him.
"Listen," he said quietly, "I'm truly not trying to pry, and you're under no obligation to share personal, medical information with your employer. But," he continued, "I consider myself to be your mentor - and your friend. I'm here to support you any way possible."
I crossed my legs, clasping my hands together and resting them on my knee. "I appreciate that, Colin. I didn't mean to keep it from you indefinitely, you know?" I said with a small laugh. "It's just that I wasn't making it public right away." God this was awkward.
"So, then you haven't told Ronnie?" he asked. "I mean I get all of that stuff with female secrets…”
"No," I answered, plainly. "My parents know, Eli and his boyfriend know, my best friend, Lindsey. And now you, I guess."
"I see," he replied, scratching his chin "What about Easton?"
God - I so want to bang my head against the desk.
"What about him?" I asked, looking puzzled and clueless, positive I hadn't pulled it off.
"Does he know he's to be a father mid-January? By my estimation I'd guess this baby was conceived in mid-April, the same time we were in London for your first presentation."
Now I was scared he'd shared that personal information with my father. Oh God!
"Relax," he said, chuckling, as if reading my mind. "Your father's under the distinct impression that some irresponsible FBI agent by the name of Darin took your 'virtue' and skipped the mainland for Alaska. No doubt Easton played a part in that assignment."
Easton must share stuff with him . . .
Now it was my turn to frown. "How do you know so much?" I asked. "I mean, is Easton your best friend?"
"We've known each other a very long time. I . . . understand Easton," he replied with a shrug.
"So, what makes you think my ex-boyfriend and I didn't hook up in April?"
He shook his head, grinning like a fool. "Darcy, any half-wit could have seen the way you and Easton looked at one another. You pushed his buttons in all the right places and he yours. It was quite obvious there was some high-current chemistry flowing back and forth like lightning bolts between the two of you. It didn't take me long to figure out that both you and he were -and probably still are - totally, undeniably, and irrevocably in love with one another."
I shifted in my seat, not wanting to listen to any more of this because it was pointless. "That's where you're wrong, Colin. I admit it. I was in love with the son-of-a-bitch. The feeling wasn't mutual and he made that perfectly clear when he told me I wasn't part of his fucking long-term plan."
He was immediately on his feet, coming over to where I was sitting and taking the chair next to it. He grasped my hands into his, forcing me to face him.
"Darcy," he said, solemnly, "listen to me, please. I know Easton probably better than anyone. I've been with him through some tough times, emotionally, that is. I understand he's a very complicated person - one for the books I should say. I'm certainly no expert on the male psyche, but I do know him better than most and I have to tell you: this is a first. He loves you more than he ever loved . . . her. And that's presuming that he did love her, which I doubt. So much so, that I'd bet a year's salary that you're the first woman Easton's truly loved. It shook him up, sweets. He can't handle it."