by Magan Vernon
“I, uh, I haven’t applied for anything. I was planning on staying in this position for as long as you’d have me.”
I did think about possibly applying for another job in the company at one point. Then came the reality of a divorce by Christmas and moving back home. I figured it was better just to stick with the plan of taking a position back in Chicago. Though, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted Connor’s job, or whatever else he had to offer, if I had to be on as many conference calls as he and Jack were.
Jack pushed off his desk then took the leather seat next to me. “We both know you’re over-qualified for this position, and way underpaid. You’ll start out with a little more over in media relations, and I have no doubt you’ll advance there within six months.”
Six months. The time I’d be married to Connor. The deadline when all of this would end.
“Thank you, sir, for the recommendation,” I said, swallowing hard.
He laughed, the first time I’d ever seen a crack in his hard exterior. “You don’t need to give me that ‘sir’ bullshit. I’m your future brother-in-law.”
“Right—right.” I nodded, trying to force a smile, but I was pretty sure I looked more like a dead hamster just sticking my teeth out.
Jack raised an eyebrow. “You don’t look too happy about a new job prospect. Or is this about marrying my brother?”
“No, definitely not about Connor. It’s just weird,” I blurted.
Dammit. I had to get better and not word vomit.
“I’m not going to sit here and pretend that we’re old pals, discussing our personal lives over a cup of tea. Connor’s and my relationship has been tumultuous, at best. But he’s a good guy, and you’ve made him an even better man. I genuinely hope this works out for the both of you, and that you’ll seriously consider the job in media relations.”
I nodded, the guilt churning in my stomach.
“Thank you, Jack, and I’ll think about the job.”
He smiled. “Please do.”
With a polite goodbye, I headed back to my desk and let out a deep breath. Connor and I had been playing pretend and something always nagged at me that this wasn’t real.
Now I had a job offer to stay with the company in Dublin.
Now we were engaged.
Everything in my head was spinning.
On the one hand, I wasn’t lying when I said I cared about Connor, but getting our families involved and lying to everyone about our intentions knotted my stomach. Especially when I wasn’t sure I wanted all of this to end in six months.
But it wasn’t about what I wanted. It was about Nana and the company. That was what I had to keep telling myself. No matter how much my heart ached to think that way.
…
I jumped out of my seat and ran to the flat as soon as work was over and it was time for Leah’s lunch break. I didn’t even finish closing the door before I dialed her for a video message.
“Geez, that eager? Your after-proposal celebration must have been pretty damn good,” Leah said, fluttering her long black eyelashes.
“It was—for a fake proposal for a fake marriage that now my mother wants to be invited to,” I said with a loud groan before I slumped on the sofa.
She blinked slowly. “I don’t even know which one of those statements to address first.”
I sighed, leaning my head against the back of the couch, and gave her the rundown.
“Connor may have messaged me saying I should pay a visit to Nana and help her with a video message. I thought you were going to surprise her with something, but not an engagement. Nana wanted pictures, saying how sweet it was of Connor, so I took a screenshot. I thought it was definitely Instagram worthy and forgot that shit went to Facebook, too. I didn’t expect your mom to comment. I didn’t even know she had a phone or computer or Facebook.”
I swallowed, not sure which information made my head spin more. “Connor messaged you?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I was just as surprised as you were. Especially since you two were on that trip. I felt like he was breaking some kind of invisible wall, but couldn’t tell the guy no, either, since I was intrigued.”
A smile crossed her lips. “You do know the guy is definitely into you, right? I know you have this deal or whatever it is, but that isn’t stopping him from having feelings. No guy that is doing this just for his company or for money would get your best friend and Nana involved.”
“And now my parents are involved. My mom private messaged me.”
She blinked hard. “Holy shit, seriously? What did she say?”
“Aside from her bad grammar, what I could decipher was that she couldn’t wait to come to my wedding. And have Connor fly her in his private plane.Which I’m not even sure that he has. Even if he did, no way in hell I’d let him use it for my parents,” I said, sitting up straight and raising a finger.
She shook her head. “I’m not a therapist. If I was, I wouldn’t be working until two in the morning filling orders. As your best friend, I can say that if I had a daughter, even if we were estranged, I’d want an invite to the wedding. Maybe not have my way paid there if I was a shit parent. And an invite for her best friend would be great, too.”
My shoulders fell, and I looked at the sparkling ring on my finger instead of the screen. All my emotions swirled through my head, pressure rising in my temple. “Remember when we were kids and we’d play Barbie wedding?”
She laughed. “How could I forget? Your mom wouldn’t buy you a Ken doll, so Malibu Barbie ended up walking down the aisle with Glam Barbie.”
I nodded. “We always would say ‘Oh, this is just Barbie’s first marriage. When we get a Ken Doll, then we’ll have the real wedding. We didn’t invite your Barbies or even the stuffed animals because we figured we’d wait until we had the big, real Barbie wedding.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Are you the Ken doll in this situation or is Connor? Or am I getting this analogy all wrong?”
“I think I’m Glam Barbie in this situation. A means to an end, so he can have this wedding and get the company. Someday he’ll find a new Irish wife, or maybe he’ll be single forever and just run the business. I don’t know.”
“And you want Fallon Barbie and Irish Connor Ken to be together forever?”
I shook my head, a dull awareness pushing to the forefront of my mind. “I haven’t thought that far. I’ll be divorced and headed home by Christmas.”
“Is that not what you want anymore?”
I sighed, my head pounding. “It’s not about what I want anymore. This is for his company and the money. It always has been.”
She frowned. “You’re one of the smartest people I know. But this has never been about just the money; it never has been. You genuinely like this guy. Maybe even some other L words.”
I froze. I’d thought that word in my head about Connor, but even trying to let those feelings flow was something I had to clamp down. Part of me thought going to Galway with him could be a mistake. The closer I got to him, the harder it would be not to fall for him.
I was right on both accounts, but I couldn’t take any of it back. My temporary status was getting much more complicated. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it without someone getting hurt.
I heard someone fiddling with the door. “Connor’s home. Gotta go. Bye,” I said, quickly disconnecting the call then throwing my phone onto the couch. My heart raced as I turned on the TV before he got inside.
“Sorry, I wanted something quick, so I just put in an order with the pub. Fish and chips sound good?” he asked, setting a brown bag on the counter before grabbing two plates from the cabinet.
I smiled at this great guy. The one who had no idea what was going on in my head when it came to my feelings or my family. “Sounds wonderful.”
…
It had been a few days since I talked to Leah, and I still hadn’t replied to my mom’s message.
I had no idea what to even say. And if I wasn’t thinking about the message, I w
as working or packing to move into the new house.
Not that Connor or I had much to pack, since the furniture was going to stay in the flat and he ordered all new pieces to be delivered to the house.
“Are you okay, pinky?” Connor asked, closing a small box.
“Fine. You know, just overwhelmed with, well, everything.”
He set his box down on the bed then walked the few steps across the living room to me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me against him with a mischievous grin. “I call bollocks. You’re doing that little crinkly thing with your forehead, which means you’re worried about something.” He ran his finger down my brow line.
“I think you’re angling for me to say I’m frustrated so that you can offer a massage, then, whoa, look, we’re both naked,” I said, putting both my hands out.
He laughed. “I don’t think I’d have to do any of that to get you naked, but now’s not the time for that.”
His smile turned into a thin line as he licked his lips before speaking. “You don’t have to keep all of that bottled up inside. You can tell me anything. For better or for worse, you’re stuck with me.”
His words cut right through me. I wanted to believe this was all real and not temporary. But I didn’t believe in fairy tales, and I knew exactly where this ended. “This isn’t something you need to take the burden of.”
He put his hand under my chin and lifted slightly so I had to face him. “But I want to.”
I swallowed hard. He didn’t need my burden, but I knew he would push until I told him. He was a pain in the ass that way. “You know the other day when we met with Patrick and went to lunch?”
“Yeah? Did something happen? Are you still weirded out by the fact my mate’s a priest?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Brother,” I corrected before shaking my head. “But that’s not it. I…I got a message from my mom.”
“From your mam?” He tilted his chin down.
“Yeah. The one I haven’t spoken to since graduation, when I got shit-faced on cheap wine and applied for the job here. She didn’t even know I left, and probably wouldn’t have known we were getting married if it wasn’t for Leah posting a photo.”
He nodded solemnly, letting me go on with my hysterics. “And what did she say?”
“That she couldn’t wait to come to our wedding.”
“If you want to invite your parents, I’m more than okay with it. But that’s up to you.”
I sighed, the pressure in my head and stomach ready to erupt. “Here’s the thing. My mom made this comment about my fancy man flying her and my dad over on his private plane, which, to my knowledge, there isn’t one. But if there is a Murphy private plane, I’d like to be informed of that and take it to Aruba after all of this craziness is over.”
He let out a single laugh. “Are you embarrassed your fiancé is rich? Or ashamed of your parents trying to take advantage of you and me?”
“I think the latter,” I muttered, knowing that was only the tip of the iceberg.
“Do you want them here?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I sucked in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I talked to Leah, and she said I should at least send them an invite, but…”
“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. This is your day, too. If you want to invite them, we’ll ask them. Nana, too.”
“I don’t think Nana can come unless she has a nurse, or someone she trusts to take care of her and make sure she has her medications, which would be my dad or me.”
“Do you want Nana here?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I thought about what I said to Leah with Barbie’s first wedding and waiting for Ken. The Ken doll never came, and those stuffed animals and other dolls never got to see Barbie get married. Nana wasn’t a doll, but she wasn’t a young woman, either. I didn’t know how much longer she’d have left, or if she’d ever get to see me walk down the aisle again. The least I could do was offer it to her.
“It sounds silly, but I do. I know this isn’t real, but it may be the only time she gets to see me in a wedding dress.”
He nodded, his face still. “Okay, then call your mom and tell her when the wedding is and that she’ll get an invite in the mail. No private plane. Tell her it’s just a small ceremony and reception. You could say that they can come if they’ll help take care of Nana, and if needed we can help with the expenses, but nothing extravagant. I’ll be right here to talk you through it.”
I looked at the clock below the television and realized it would be afternoon in Chicago. It was the weekend, so both my parents would be on their phones, or passed out. I could easily get away with voicemail, but what would I say? Hey, Mom and Dad, I’m not paying you shit, but I’m marrying this rich dude so he can get his company. Then I may or may not be back to Chicago in six months when he divorces my ass to go back to being a playboy. But hey, I’ll get an awesome settlement. Oh, and make sure you take care of Nana so she can see me walk down the aisle at least once.
“I don’t know…” I muttered.
Connor pulled me closer, his lips pressed to my forehead. I thought this was the point where he would try and make me feel better by using his tongue. But he reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone before darting in the other direction.
“What are you doing?” I shrieked, grabbing his bicep.
It was too late, and he whirled around, holding my phone out. My mom’s name flashed on the screen and the word Calling.
“Shit, what am I supposed to say?” I whispered, taking the phone, my heart beating a million miles a minute.
“Put it on speaker, and I can help you,” he offered.
I nodded and pressed the speaker button, the phone still ringing. A rush coursed through me that made my hands shake.
It rang so many times that I thought it would go to voicemail. After at least ten rings, there was some muffled noise, then my mom’s gravelly voice came through the phone.
“Hello? Who is this? If you’re selling something, we don’t want nothin’.” Her voice sounded like she just woke up or just finished up a pack of cigarettes. Either could be true.
“Hey, Mom, it’s Fallon,” I said, letting out a nervous laugh.
“Fallon? I didn’t recognize the number. How you been, baby? It’s been a while. Didn’t know you were across the world, and now with a fancy fiancé. Your dad just went to visit Nana at the home and talk to her about an Ireland trip.” She laughed then let out a hacking cough that sounded like her lungs were bleeding.
“Yeah. I took a job here after graduation, and things have kind of been a whirlwind.”
Mom cackled. “Well, when is this big shindig? You flying me, Daddy, and Nana out? You know we’d throw you something here, but money’s been tight since I was laid off from the restaurant, and Daddy’s not getting as many hours at the shop. We could always ask Nana for some money. Who knows how much she has stacked up, though, after staying in that nursing home. I told her she could just say here in your old room, but she needs all that medicine and said the home was better fit for people to take care of her.”
I don’t think my mother ever made that offer to Nana. She also had no idea I was paying for that nursing home. I let out a breath and looked up at Connor, who gave me a reassuring nod and mouthed, We’ll send an invite.
I’d never talked back to my mother. Whenever I tried, she would just guilt me into things. When I told my parents I wanted to get my MBA, my mom cried and said there wasn’t any money for me to get my degrees and diplomas were just a piece of paper, anyway. She didn’t speak to me for days when I told her I got accepted into my MBA program and wouldn’t be coming home.
I was the only one who helped with Nana at that time, making sure she had her medication. So even though the money burden of my education was gone for my parents, thanks to student loans, the taking care of Nana trouble was still there. I discreetly set up a fund and put Nana into a nursing home soon after I put
in my first loan application for my graduate degree.
I’d been drowning for years now, and Connor was giving me a life raft. He was saving me, whether he knew how much or not. No matter my feelings for him, romantic or otherwise, I had to think of how much better the marriage and future divorce would be for my family.
Connor must have noticed my spacing out and took my free hand. He leaned in, whispering in my ear, “Whatever you want to say to her is fine with me. She can’t hurt you physically or mentally. Even if her words do, I’m here to stop it.”
It was the first time anyone had given me the courage to stand up to my parents. Hell, to stand up to anyone, for that matter. I leaned into his cheek, relishing in the feel of his warm skin. I’d started to rely on his comfort so much that I forgot what was at stake here. But right now I needed him. “You know, Mom, it’s just a small ceremony and reception here. If you and Dad really want to come, I’m sure you’ll make it work. Invitations will go out later next week with all of the details.”
“What the hell did you just say to me?” Mom barked.
I looked up to meet Connor’s blue eyes, focusing on him instead of Mom’s words. “I’m standing up for myself, Mom. There are no private planes. No free trips to Ireland. No me paying for your shit. I’ll help with Nana’s expenses, but that’s it. You can come or not. That’s up to you.”
“You spoiled little brat. Do you think just because you found some sugar daddy that you’re better than me? You and that fancy degree and those damn expensive glasses. I paid for those glasses and braces and raised you up. All you’ve ever done is bitch about your upbringing. Ungrateful is what you are.”
Connor opened his mouth to speak, but I put my hand up and mouthed I got this. “You know what, Mom? You can think whatever you want about me. But for the first time, I’m really happy. If you want to be a part of my wedding, you can come. If you don’t, then forget this number and have a nice life.”
I didn’t even wait for her answer before I hung up and slumped down on the couch. Tears sprang from my eyes as I put my head in my hands.