How Hard Can Love Be?

by Holly Bourne

  Just as I’d finished, it happened.

  BAD THOUGHT

  Have you washed them properly?

  I nearly doubled over. It was like someone had stabbed me in the guts with a knitting needle.

  No no no no no.

  And then another came to join the party.

  BAD THOUGHT

  You should wash them again, just to make sure.

  I did double over then, holding onto the edge of the sink as my body crumpled. Sarah’d warned me this could happen. That the thoughts may come back when I cut down my dosage. She told me to expect it. It would be okay though, she said, because I had “coping mechanisms” now.

  My mother knocked on the bathroom door. She’d probably been secretly timing me again – anything over five minutes was a warning sign.

  “Evie?” she called.

  “Yes, Mum,” I called back, still knotted over.

  “You okay in there? What time do you need to leave for your party?”

  She only knew about the party. She didn’t know I had a date. The less Mum knew, the better. My little sister Rose knew, but had been sworn to secrecy.

  “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a sec.”

  I heard her footsteps thump down the hallway and I let out a slow breath.

  Logical thought

  You’re okay, Evie. You don’t need to wash your hands again, do you? You only just washed them. Come on, up you get.

  Like a well-trained soldier, I straightened myself and calmly unlocked the bathroom door. But not before one last brain malfunction muscled its way in for a parting shot.

  BAD THOUGHT

  Uh oh, it’s coming back.

  All Evie wants is to be normal. And now that she’s almost off her meds and at a new college where no one knows her as the-girl-who-went-nuts, there’s only one thing left to tick off her list…

  But relationships can mess with anyone’s head – something Evie’s new friends Amber and Lottie know only too well. The trouble is, if Evie won’t tell them her secrets, how can they stop her making a huge mistake?

  Also by Holly Bourne

  Apparently I’m boring. A nobody.

  But that’s all about to change.

  Because I am starting a project.

  Here. Now. For myself.

  And if you want to come along for the ride then you’re very welcome.

  Bree is a loser, a wannabe author who hides behind words. But when she’s told she needs to start living a life worth writing about, The Manifesto on How to Be Interesting is born.

  Six steps on how to be interesting. Six steps that will see Bree infiltrate the popular set, fall in love with someone forbidden and make the biggest mistake of her life.

  Soulmates do exist. But not like you think.

  Every so often, two people are born who are the perfect match for one another. Soulmates.

  But what if meeting your soulmate is earth-shattering – literally?

  An epic, electrifying and extraordinary debut about falling in love.

  This ebook edition first published in the UK in 2016 by Usborne Publishing Ltd., Usborne House, 83-85 Saffron Hill, London EC1N 8RT, England. www.usborne.com

  Text © Holly Bourne, 2016

  The right of Holly Bourne to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  p. 100 Lyric from “My Body” by Peter Alsop

  p. 101 Lyric from “It’s No Fun When You Gotta Eat an Onion” by Peter Alsop

  p. 258 Lyric from “Go to Sleep, You Little Creep” by Peter Alsop

  p. 266 Lyric from “Bored, Bored, Bored!” by Peter Alsop

  All Peter Alsop lyrics reproduced with his permission and © 1983-87, Moose School Music (BMI). For more information on Peter Alsop’s songs and CDs go to www.peteralsop.com

  The name Usborne and the devices are Trade Marks of Usborne Publishing Ltd.

  All rights reserved. This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or used in any way except as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or loaned or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ePub ISBN 9781474915588

  Batch no. 03595-03