Don't Even Think About It

by Sarah Mlynowski

Everything was set up. Her parents and siblings were there, the DJ was organizing his stuff, the bartenders were ready—no alcohol for anyone under twenty-one. She was sure some of the non-Espies would smuggle in booze, but she knew none of us would drink. Too risky. The waitresses had their hors d’oeuvres ready to go: mini pizzas, mini lobster rolls, spring rolls. The room looked fun, flirty, and modern but not cheesy, just the way the event planner had promised—white leather couches and chairs, glass bar tables, white candles in square silver candleholders, white roses in silver vases. No balloons. No streamers. A silver square dance floor in the middle of the room.

  Everything was going to be fine, Mackenzie told herself.

  Completely fine.

  The Espies will behave themselves. I have Cooper. He’s all I need.

  Mackenzie pushed open the bathroom door and headed down the hallway to the hotel ballroom. People had already arrived. Olivia. Lazar. Jordana. Isaac. No sign of Tess, but most of the rest of us were there. Even Brinn, in a slightly ill-fitting black dress. Even Pi. She was wearing a navy blue dress, a navy blue jacket, and matching navy pumps. She looked like she was interviewing for a job on Wall Street.

  Jordana clucked her tongue. Way to make fun of your own guests.

  Oops. Maybe Mackenzie would tell the DJ to make the music loud. Really loud. So loud the Espies won’t be able to hear themselves think, never mind each other. Would that work?

  Mackenzie spotted her parents chatting with Cooper’s parents. Both dads were wearing black suits. The moms were wearing cocktail dresses. But where was Cooper?

  He was alone at the bar, wearing non-wrinkled black pants, a black jacket, and a gray shirt. He looked swanky. He looked beautiful.

  Mackenzie approached him from behind and put her arms around his waist. “Hey.”

  He turned and kissed her on the forehead. “Hi. Happy birthday.”

  She loved the fact that it was her actual birthday. How often did that happen? That a party celebrating your birthday really fell on the right day? For the first time in weeks she felt lucky. It was meant to be. Everything had been messed up until that day, but now everything would be fine. Magical.

  “Sorry I couldn’t be here earlier,” Cooper said. “Ashley was throwing a fit.”

  “You should have brought her.”

  “She wanted to come. She put on a party dress and her party shoes.”

  “Aw, that’s so sad. I wish she were here.”

  “I think my mom wanted a night out.”

  They both looked at his parents.

  Cooper’s father had his arm around his wife’s waist. Was it possible Cooper had been wrong? Maybe he’d misunderstood?

  Cooper shrugged. Let’s not talk about it tonight.

  You sure?

  “Yeah. But …” They seem happy, right?

  Absolutely. Mackenzie hugged him. Everything was going to be fine. Everything was going to be great. “Wanna dance?”

  He took a sip of his Coke. “Boo-ya. Let’s doooo this,” he said, and Mackenzie could have sworn his words sounded like a song.

  * * *

  Tess and Teddy arrived together, her arm linked through his.

  If we were surprised by the turn of events, Tess was even more surprised.

  He’d called her earlier that afternoon and asked if they were still going together.

  “Sure,” Tess said. “Whatever.” So he was going to walk with her? Big whoop. It wasn’t a real date.

  But then he offered to pick her up at her apartment. And he didn’t ring from downstairs. He came up to get her.

  “Let me get some pictures,” her mom said when she saw them both in their fineries. It felt like a prom.

  Did she lose a few pounds? her mom thought. It’s still not enough. She needs to lose at least another seven.

  That thought had almost ruined Tess’s night, but she kept on her game face. Still, she sucked in her stomach.

  Anyway, Teddy’s reaction made up for her mom’s. She looks hot. And those eyes … Did she always have such gorgeous eyes? She has great boobs.

  Is he staring at her boobs? her mom wondered. He definitely is. I wish I had boobs.

  Hah! If she lost another seven pounds, she’d have no boobs. Take that, Mom!

  They’d walked arm in arm to Soho Tower. By the time they arrived, the room was packed.

  “Let’s go say hi to Mackenzie,” Tess said. Their arms were still linked. Did it mean what she thought it meant? Was getting Teddy to notice her really that easy? Step one, show that other guys were interested? Step two, get dressed up and show cleavage? Was that all it took?

  She found Mackenzie on the dance floor with Cooper. Cooper was a great dancer. He’d always been a great dancer. Maybe the two of them would be okay. She squeezed Teddy’s arm. Maybe they’d all be okay.

  She hugged Mackenzie tightly. “You look amazing,” she said. “Happy birthday.”

  Does this mean you forgive me? Please forgive me? I’m sorry. I miss you. And you look amazing too. And happy. You came with Teddy! Is that on?

  Tess blushed. We’ll see. All signs point to positive.

  I’m so happy for you. I want to hear everything. I know I haven’t always been a great friend but I do—

  Tess squeezed Mackenzie’s shoulders. We’ll get through it.

  Good.

  “What up, Coops?” Teddy said, and they gave each other one of those boy handshakes involving loud palm smacks.

  “Come dance with us,” Mackenzie insisted.

  For a few minutes that’s what they did. The four of them dancing, just the way Tess had always imagined. The music was pumping; she was moving, her hair flying all over the place.

  For the next song, the music went old school and Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” came on. Teddy and Tess moved closer together. His arms were around her waist and hers were around his neck and they were dancing and kind of rocking back and forth.

  Me and Tess? Teddy thought.

  She could feel his hands on the small of her back. Was this really happening? Was this finally happening? Her heart was thumping so loud she could barely hear anything except the music. His eyes were closed, so she couldn’t hear his thoughts, but she didn’t need to. She could feel him pressed against her. She knew something had changed. Shifted. Even though they hadn’t done anything, or said anything, they had crossed over from “just friends” to something more. This was going to happen. This was finally going to happen.

  * * *

  “It’s so loud in here,” Lazar whined.

  It was loud. But still, Olivia was having fun. She hadn’t expected to have fun, but she was. All her friends were there. Look at that! She had friends! And after reading everyone’s mind, she knew two things: one, she was looking cute, and two, she didn’t have food in her teeth.

  Olivia felt brave. “Come on. Let’s dance.”

  He shook his head stubbornly. “I told you I don’t dance.”

  “One song,” she begged.

  He sighed. “Fine.”

  They squeezed their way onto the dance floor.

  It’s so hot in here, he thought.

  She couldn’t help wondering if he ever stopped complaining. “Why don’t you take off your jacket if you’re hot?”

  He scowled. How did she know I was hot? Am I sweating? I must be sweating. “Where would I put it?”

  Close call. “On a chair?”

  “What if someone takes it?”

  Was he serious? Did he really think someone here was going to steal his jacket? He was the smallest guy here—it wasn’t like his jacket would fit anyone.

  She tried to ignore him and focus on the music. The last time she’d danced in public was … well, she couldn’t remember. The truth was she liked to dance. A lot. She knew she wasn’t the best dancer or anything but it was fun. She danced in her room with the blinds closed, and while she was cooking dinner. In public she’d always worried people were staring at her—but now she knew no one was watching her. No one ca
red. Everyone was feeling the music and no one was looking. No one was judging her. She could do whatever she wanted to do. She lifted her arms above her head. Wahoo!

  She’s getting a little crazy, Lazar thought.

  Olivia froze. Yeah, no one was judging her. No one except Lazar.

  * * *

  Pi was watching.

  She sat on a bar stool in the corner and monitored the room. She’d come to make sure no one did anything foolish.

  She’d stopped at least three of us from trying to sneak alcohol. She didn’t understand why we would take risks at a time like this.

  She watched Olivia dance with that jerk boyfriend of hers. Tess was dancing with that guy she was obsessed with. Mackenzie was dancing with Cooper.

  Everything was under control. Just the way Pi liked it.

  She took a sip of her water and a bite of miso cod. At least the food was good. Nobu had catered.

  Pi had surprised herself by going to Bloomingdale’s and buying a new outfit for the party. She knew her suit was conservative, but she felt sophisticated and smart.

  She’d bought some makeup for the event too. But when she opened the packages, she realized she had no idea how to use eye shadow or eyeliner. She wished she had someone to teach her.

  Instead she watched an eye-makeup tutorial on YouTube and tried to follow along. When she was done, she studied herself in the mirror. She looked like a raccoon. She scrubbed the color off and hid the makeup in the back of a drawer.

  Aw. Poor Pi.

  Pi was about to take another bite of cod when she saw her.

  The redhead. The fake nurse. Suzanna. What was she doing here?

  She was wearing black pants and a black blouse, and she was sitting at a table across the room.

  Pi had spent the past week ducking in the hallway whenever the woman was near. We all had.

  Pi pushed her chair back and snaked her way to the other side of the room. She wanted to get close enough to the woman to find out who she was and what she wanted, yet stay far enough away that the woman didn’t see her.

  There were many people in her way. Pi struggled to get close enough to hear without being obvious and without being interrupted by random partygoers’ dumb internal and external thoughts.

  Suzanna: … at least fifteen of them seem to have it …

  “This party is the best!”

  … I think Sadie forgot to wear a bra …

  Suzanna: … eyes are definitely turning …

  She was definitely referring to the Espies! She had to be!

  … shouldn’t hug people when he’s so sweaty. It’s disgusting! …

  “I love this song!”

  “Why aren’t you dancing?”

  … have some vodka in my purse …

  … I think I just swallowed a toothpick …

  Pi’s schoolmates were officially driving her crazy. She squeezed her way closer to the woman and heard:

  At least we should have more of the antidote by Thursday.

  Pi steadied herself on a table. Was the antidote for them? Would it get rid of the telepathy?

  The woman turned around and saw Pi. Why is she staring at me? Oh! Her eyes are purple! She’s one of them! If she’s one of them, she can hear me. Hello? You can hear me, can’t you?

  Pi felt numb. Then, without thinking, she turned and ran out of the room.

  * * *

  Mackenzie was pretty sure it was the best party ever. Everyone was having a great time. The dance floor was packed. Even Olivia was dancing. Olivia! She’d never seen Olivia get down before, but there she was, partying it up.

  “I am so sweaty,” Cooper said. “Am I smelly?”

  “You are not,” Mackenzie murmured. “Trust me.”

  I wish I could. Cooper froze.

  Mackenzie froze. She deserved that. She put her hand on his shoulder. “You will. Maybe not today. But you will.”

  He looked into her eyes. I hope so.

  “Let’s get something to drink?”

  He took her hand and they walked back to the bar. I’m going to get over it. I’m going to get over it. I need her.

  I need you, she thought. “I’ll have a Diet Coke, please,” she told the bartender. “Coop? What do you want?”

  Romy Brohman, Jordana’s mother, approached her. “Happy birthday, sweetie. I haven’t seen you in ages! You look all grown-up and gorgeous!”

  “Thank you! Thank you for coming,” Mackenzie said. The woman’s cotton candy perfume was overwhelming and almost choked her.

  The woman motioned to Cooper. “Is that your boyfriend?”

  “He is. Cooper, do you know Romy? Jordana’s mom?” We had our first kiss in her office.

  “Of course,” he said. “How are you?”

  “I haven’t seen you in years! You’re so handsome. You look just like your dad.” A smile danced on her lips. I haven’t seen him in ages either. Since that time I bumped into him and his wife at Odeon. He was so smooth too. Considering our history.

  Mackenzie bit her lip. She prayed Cooper hadn’t heard that.

  Cooper’s eyes flashed. He had definitely heard.

  “Cooper, let’s go dance,” Mackenzie snapped. She wanted him out of there before he heard anything worse.

  His hand gripped his glass like he was trying to squeeze the life out of it. “Not yet. I have a few questions.” He was definitely not singing now. His voice was cold. “What exactly is your relationship with my dad, Romy?”

  Romy’s eyes widened and she shrugged her thin shoulders. Does he know about our affair? “What do you mean?”

  Cooper was about to blow. His face was turning red and it wasn’t from the colored strobe lights.

  “Cooper, let’s get some air. Now.” Mackenzie yanked his arm, causing his Coke to splash over the edge of his glass and onto her dress. It didn’t matter. She needed to get him outside.

  “I want to talk to her,” Cooper protested as she pulled him through the room.

  “No, you don’t. You want to talk to your dad.”

  “I want to punch my dad, not talk to him. Do you know what this means? The Chicago person isn’t even the first time he cheated. He’s such a bastard. I’m glad my mom’s divorcing him.”

  He looked back at the bar, but the woman was now approaching Cooper’s parents. I can only imagine what she’ll say. Or what she’ll be thinking about. What my dad will be thinking about. What my mom won’t know.

  “I’m sorry,” Mackenzie said. She didn’t know what else to say.

  I hate them all. I hate his father for being a dick, I hate Jordana’s mom for sleeping with him, and I hate his mom for divorcing him.

  Mackenzie pulled open the door to the room and stepped into the hallway just as someone else was coming inside.

  Bennett.

  Mackenzie gasped. Oh shit. Shit shit shit.

  Cooper turned to her. “What?”

  She looks hot. Even hotter than she did in that black bikini, Bennett thought.

  Cooper looked at Bennett and then back at Mackenzie. Who is that?

  Mackenzie didn’t want to say. She didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to move.

  I guess that’s the boyfriend, Bennett thought.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  “Is that him?” Cooper asked, his voice rising. “Bennett?”

  “The one and only,” Bennett said.

  Cooper’s fists tightened. Are you freaking kidding me?

  And then, surprising us all, he punched Bennett in the face.

  * * *

  Tess and Teddy were holding hands and on their way to get a drink when they ran into Sadie. Sadie, who was looking gorgeous.

  She was wearing a loose silver dress and silver heels. Her hair wasn’t even done; it was just tied back. It screamed, Look how pretty I am and I don’t even have to do anything.

  Teddy stopped walking. Sadie! And she’s alone.

  Tess looked around for Keith but didn’t see him.

  “Keith’s not coming,” Sadie
said. We broke up.

  “You guys always break up,” Tess said, tightening her grip on Teddy’s arm.

  “This time it’s for real.” I just couldn’t stand kissing him anymore. Or listening to him. You know what I mean. She looked at Tess meaningfully.

  Tess did know what she meant. Because right then she was listening to Teddy.

  She’s single? Does that mean there’s a chance for me?

  He let go of Tess’s hand.

  Tess couldn’t stand hearing Teddy think about Sadie right then. She was the one who was supposed to be with him. Tonight, Sadie was not getting in the way! Tess gave Sadie a look of desperation.

  I’m not getting in the way, Sadie thought back. I don’t like Teddy!

  But he likes you!

  But I don’t like him! So it doesn’t matter! I’ll just walk away and you guys can be together!

  I don’t want to be someone’s second choice!

  Sadie shrugged. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.

  Can you just go?

  Sadie nodded. “I’ll see you guys later.” Before Teddy could react she disappeared into the crowd.

  Now what? Tess looked at Teddy.

  Teddy looked back at Sadie.

  It’s never going to happen with Sadie, he thought. But maybe … well, maybe Tess and I can … I don’t know. Tess is the best. We like so many of the same things. She gets me. Should I see where this is going?

  Yes! Tess almost screamed. Yes, you should. Let’s see what happens.

  Another slow song came on.

  Her heart hammered in her chest and she tried not to think about what she was about to do. She was going to kiss someone she knew didn’t feel the way she did.

  She hated the stupid telepathy. If she didn’t have it, then she would never have known Teddy had feelings for Sadie. They’d have had their dance and they’d be walking off into the sunset. She should just pretend that she hadn’t heard his thoughts. That was what she should do. They would kiss and to hell with Sadie. Who cared if Tess wasn’t his first choice?

  “Let’s go dance again,” she said. She pulled him back onto the floor, and before she had a chance to think things through, she pulled him closer.

  She smells good. Like vanilla, she heard him think. I should kiss her. No. Yes. No.

  Yes. It’s a good idea. It’s a very good idea and it’s going to happen right now. She pressed her body firmly against his. The music coursed through them both. It was going to happen. It was definitely going to happen.