I’m faster. I gain on him, but this only makes me nervous because I don’t have time to hide my footprints on the dusty, dry ground. They will give me away, and I’m not sure how to fight someone I can’t touch.
Taking several steps at a diagonal, I decide it’d be better not to be close when I pass him. I pump my legs as hard as I can, the fact that I’m naked barely registering against my goal. The Phantom hears my footsteps, and his face fills with rage as he searches in vain for my body.
“Don’t you dare!” he yells into the night.
The pills are feet away, and I crouch down to grab them. When I turn, I’m shocked to see he’s right there—he doesn’t hesitate to slam into me. He feels perfectly solid as we hit the ground.
“Give me the pills!” His hands reach for them, but I move them just in time.
I push and struggle against him, hating that he’s so close when I have no clothes on. That discomfort is distracting me more than I want to admit, but I try to focus on keeping the pills from him.
The Phantom finds my neck and squeezes. “I can kill you, too. You know I will.”
My first instinct is to pry his hands off, but then the pills would be within reach and he knows it. My lungs burn, and I kick wildly as I try to throw him off. I get weaker as my body begs for air.
“I’ve strangled people before,” he says with a disturbing note of enjoyment. “I know it doesn’t take long.”
I can’t reply. My vision is getting hazy.
“Fiona! Throw them over here!” Seth screams. Hope blossoms in me. I don’t know exactly where he is, but it sounds like he’s to my right. So I chuck the bottle as hard as I can.
The Phantom jumps up, his only focus the cure and the power that comes with it. I gasp for air, attempting to pull myself up to see what’s happening. It’s dark, but there’s enough light from the cars to see that Seth has the bottle and Bea and Brady stand in front of him as protection.
Mr. Mitchell has his gun trained on them, while the Phantom stands there huffing and puffing. Seth opens the bottle, pouring the pills into his hand. “Hell, I’ll swallow them all myself.”
My jaw drops, knowing just how painful that would be. Possibly painful enough to cause death.
“You’re bluffing,” his dad says.
“I will do it.” He looks at the pills. “There’s only five.”
“Seth! Don’t!” I pull myself up, but my legs are too shaky to run. “You could die!”
He shoots me a look, and I think it might be a little bit vengeful. “It’s not fun when the people you care about sacrifice themselves, is it?”
“Yeah, yeah.” His dad is the one who answers this. “You’ve made your point. Put the pills away now. You know I can shoot you before you swallow those. Stalling will get you nowhere.”
“Just shoot him,” The Phantom says. “We’re wasting time.”
I can’t quite tell in the darkness, but I think Mr. Mitchell hesitates.
The Phantom turns to him. “Can you not shoot him because he’s your son? Then give me the gun.”
Seth’s dad slumps. “I…can’t do it.”
“Tsk, here.” The Phantom walks over, and I can’t believe what’s happening. Bea lets out a loud scream in an attempt to stop them, but they fight through the pain. Brady lunges forward. Seth moves the handful of pills toward his mouth.
And I’m too far away to stop any of it.
I should have never thrown that bottle.
The Phantom puts his hand on the gun, and I think that’s me screaming but I’m not sure. Then there’s a loud bang, and I freeze because surely it’s too soon. The Phantom barely touched the firearm. He couldn’t have shot at Seth yet.
But then The Phantom’s knees buckle, and Mr. Mitchell catches him before he hits the ground. It takes a second for my brain to realize what happened.
Seth’s dad shot The Phantom.
“You…” Blood sputters from his mouth as Mr. Mitchell gently lays him in the dirt.
“Sorry,” Seth’s dad says with a smile that says anything but apologetic. “Had to make sure you were solid when I pulled the trigger.”
“How…c-could…?” The Phantom goes limp.
I stand there, dumbfounded. When Seth’s dad faces his sons, I have no clue what to expect. From the looks of it, neither do they. He scratches his head and says, “C’mon, you really think I’m heartless enough to let you guys get hurt? I’ve done a lot of horrible things, but I’m not that far gone.”
“W-why?” Seth finally gets out. “You waited so long. You sold us out and everything.”
His dad holds his hands out to the empty desert. “No syndicate witnesses out here. All I have to say is that the girl killed him and then I killed her. Everyone thinks I’m still loyal.”
Brady frowns. “What about us? Won’t they expect you to take us back?”
“Maybe.” Mr. Mitchell stoops down and pulls something off The Phantom’s hand. My guess is it’s a ring. “But they won’t question me if I tell them I got the command ring from The Phantom before he died. Looks like I just got a promotion. Lucky me.”
My jaw drops. “You planned this, didn’t you? Your goal was to get second-in-command out of this somehow.”
He turns in my direction, his smile shrewd. “No better way to protect the ones you love than to be in power, right, Fiona? Yes, I’ve been working my way up so I could have enough sway to keep Juan’s eyes out of Madison. Did I know it’d happen this soon? Not exactly. But opportunity knocked.”
“So…” Seth looks extremely uncomfortable, and I can’t begin to imagine how he feels about this. “What now?”
His dad shrugs. “I take the bullet car, you take the truck, and we haul ass back to Madison. After that? I pull Juan’s men out, and you decide what you want to do with those pills. Because as far as I’m concerned, what Allie had was all a bluff—the wrong stuff. Damned Phantom was following a dry creek.”
Seth nods slowly. “And what about you?”
“What about me?” He looks confused for a second, but then seems to understand. “I imagine you won’t be seeing much of me anymore, though I don’t think you’ll mind that, will you?”
Seth and Brady look at their feet, seeming resistant to admit the truth.
“Take care of yourselves. Don’t get into any more trouble.” Mr. Mitchell turns his back to them at this point, heading for the car. He throws my clothes out and shoots off before we’ve made it to the road.
No one speaks as I get dressed. Or as we drive the dark road back to Madison. Or as we veer off towards the cave to dump the stolen merinite back where it belongs. It’s only as we pull up in front of my house, which looks just the same as ever, that Bea says, “Did that really happen?”
“I think so,” Brady answers.
“Let’s get inside.” Seth heads for my home. The second we step inside, we’re met with a crowd of worried faces. The Navarros, my mom, Miles, Lee Seol, Graham. They practically tackle us in relief, asking questions much faster than any of us can answer them.
“She’s dead?” Graham cries when we get to Allie.
My heart breaks for him. Maybe she didn’t make the best choices, but who does these days? I’m not proud of mine lately. “I’m so sorry, Graham. The Phantom just…”
He covers his ears, and his feet hit the ground. “No.”
“I know, hon.” Mom is right there with him, comforting, though she’s been through a lot today. It looks like Rosa has already healed Mom’s wound. I kneel next to them, adding my hug to Mom’s.
Then Miles comes, patting Graham on the back. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“Yeah…” Seth winces. “I don’t mean to intrude on the grief, but there’s still more to tell you.”
We talk until there are no more words to say and daylight brightens the windows. No one seems to care about that—we all agree it’s time to sleep, since it looks like everything has settled as much as it ever will.
Seth follows me up to my room,
and when he shuts the door I already know what he’ll say. “What should we do with these?”
He pulls out the bottle of pills, which we somehow neglected to mention. I stare at them, my heart twisting with conflicting emotions. I want to keep them so badly, but I shouldn’t. It would be hypocritical, wouldn’t it? And yet to have just a few more opportunities to see myself…
I gulp. “I don’t know, Seth. I can’t pretend I don’t want them.”
“I know.” He comes closer, taking my hand and pressing the bottle into my palm. “I think we can all agree the caves have to go, but I don’t think I have a right to tell you what to do with these. Not now that they’ll probably be the last of their kind.”
Curling my fingers around the bottle, I take a deep breath. “I need to think about it. My brain is fried.”
“Mine too.” He wraps his arms around me, and for a second everything snaps back to normality. It feels weird, but also amazing. I can only hope there’s more of this to come, but who knows for how long? “Sleep well, okay? Call me when you wake up.”
He starts to pull away, but I grab him back. “Stay.”
“Are you sure I won’t get in trouble for that?”
“Not today.” I bury my head in his chest and take a deep breath, though we’re both grimy. After almost losing him however many times today, I don’t care what he smells like. “I can’t be alone after that. The more I think about what happened…it’s scaring me worse now.”
Seth runs his hand over my hair. “Okay, I’ll stay then. Don’t have to twist my arm.”
I look into his eyes, the ones that have always seen me better than I see myself. He kisses me, and I wonder if I’m better off believing his vision of me than my own. But still, I keep those pills under my pillow the whole night.
Chapter 46
Major Norton comes by a couple days later. He’s in shock about Allie, but he doesn’t seem as bad as Graham. My brother is a husk of a person, losing the girl he loved, knowing it was all a lie to her. I wish I knew what to do for him. All I can manage is trying to convince him to eat.
“It seems Juan’s men have completely pulled out of the area,” the Major says as he sips at some coffee I made. “My guess is you know why.”
“I do.” Yesterday Seth found the deed to his house signed over to him and Brady, as well as Mitchell Construction. Turns out their dad had been hoarding a lot more money than they could ever dream of. “But I’m afraid I can’t tell you about it. I hope that’s okay.”
He nods slowly. “There are some things that should be kept buried.”
“Like the factory?” I ask tentatively.
“It seems that’s the best I can do.” Major Norton lets out a heavy sigh, and I wonder if he might be the most “heroic” of us all. He at least had the best motives, I’m sure. “I wished for so much more, but it’s clear now that time can’t be reversed.”
A lump forms in my throat, because as I’ve thought over what to do I’ve come to the same conclusion. “Maybe there’s another way to make the world better? If anyone could find it—I think it’d be you.”
He smiles. “I don’t know about that, but I won’t stop trying.”
“Me either.”
“Good.” He stands, looking proper in his dress uniform. The Army is having a ceremony for those lost in the fight two days ago. “I better go. Will you be attending?”
“Yes, of course,” I say as I follow him to the door. “How could we not honor the people who tried to keep our little town safe?”
“Thank you.” He salutes my family, who are all crammed in the living room. He particularly zones in on Graham. “I know it might be difficult, son, but if you ever wanted to serve in my unit I’d be happy to have you.”
Graham doesn’t answer. I’m not sure he even heard the offer.
Mom frowns. “Maybe I’ll talk with him later, you know, when he’s had time to heal some.”
The Major nods. “I’m sorry for not getting you out sooner, Lauren. We should’ve taken greater precautions.”
Mom bites her lip. “It’s okay. My family was there for me.”
“They certainly were.” He tips his hat, and he leaves without asking about Miles or Lee Seol. I’m grateful for that.
“I hate the Army,” Lee Seol states once he’s gone. “But that dude isn’t so bad. I’d almost consider doing a job for him.”
Miles raises an eyebrow. “That’s high praise, coming from you.”
She elbows him. “It is.”
I sit in the recliner, so I can see my whole family there at once. Even though we’re a little bit broken, knowing they’re safe means everything to me. I’m glad I have them to lean on when things get hard. And now that I’ve seen myself I can’t deny how much I belong to them. My face said it all.
Smiling, I finally know what I want to do.
After the ceremony, Seth, Brady and I go for a run in the desert. The path has been battered, and yet the familiarity of this place can never be taken from me. Because it’s my home, no matter who else thinks they can claim it. We stop in front of the cave, take it in.
Seth looks at me, seeming a little nervous. “Are you sure?”
“You could think about it more,” Brady says.
“I don’t need to think about it more.” I walk forward and put my hand to the giant boulder blocking the cave.
“But what if you change your mind?” Seth asks. “You do that sometimes.”
I shoot him a glare. “That’s why we need to do it, right?”
They’re both silent, staring at their shoes. I get the sense that, even after all that’s happened, a big part of them doesn’t want to give up this place.
I don’t want to, either. Not really. But sometimes you need to give up things—good things—for the better stuff ahead. “I thought that seeing my reflection would fix everything bad I felt about myself, and it didn’t. I thought a cure would fix the world, but it won’t. I thought we could keep this place without suffering the consequences, but we can’t. I think I’m gonna try accepting life the way it is. Maybe then I’ll be happy with all the really amazing things.”
Brady lets out a sad sigh. “I guess you’re right, but it still sucks that I have to bury it.”
“Yeah.” I lean on the boulder and pull the pill bottle from my pocket. I’ve kept it with me every second since Seth handed it to me, but now I think I’m ready. I pop open the cap and pull out one. “I decided I need my family to see me. They deserve that much after all this.”
“Fair enough.” Seth leans next to me. “What about the rest?”
“I don’t want them anymore.” I smile, never thinking it was possible to feel this way. “It might sound crazy, but I like being invisible. I don’t want to be something I’m not anymore.”
Seth smiles to his ears. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”
“I kinda like hearing it, too.” But I also know I might never have come to that conclusion if I hadn’t seen myself. It was a stupid thing to chase, and yet I’m sure I had to do it. With that in mind, I hold out the bottle to Brady. “Here, the rest are yours.”
His blue eyes widen with surprise. “What?”
“I know you need them.” I grab his hand and place the pills in his palm. “Maybe they’ll help you figure out how to be okay with yourself, too. You’ve been trying so hard, but it feels impossible, right?”
Brady wipes at his eyes. “Thanks, Fi.”
“Of course.” I pat his arm. “But you still have to destroy this place first.”
He lets out a short laugh. “Okay, okay. Meet me at home?”
“Sounds good.” Seth grabs my hand, and we take off.
We run like that for a long time, listening to the mountain crumble behind us and watching the horizon open up in front of us. I can’t help feeling like we’re leaving all our troubles behind, and everything ahead is full of miraculous possibilities.
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I have to thank
Sara O’Connor and the Hot Key Books team for asking me to write more about Fiona and The Pack. Without their desire for a sequel to Transparent, this book truly would never have been written. Thank you, everyone, for your support and love for this world I created—it means so much more than I can express.
Secondly, thanks goes to my extraordinary agent, Ginger Clark, who believed I could write this book in six small months and reassured me all along the way. I feel so fortunate to have you on my side! I couldn’t ask for a better publishing ally.
Blindsided wouldn’t have happened without the tireless encouragement of my two friends and crit partners, Kiersten White and Kasie West, who read this novel as I wrote it, one challenging chapter at a time. Thank you so much for always being there for me, both as writers and friends.
Also, thanks to Michelle Argyle, Jenn Johansson, Renee Collins, Sara Raasch, Stephanie Perkins, Sara Larson, and Candice Kennington for being the best writer friends a girl could ask for. You guys are my Pack, and just like Fiona I’d be lost without you punks.
I have to give a big shout out to Kayla Olsen, who critiqued Blindsided in record time, and gave me key feedback to make the book a lot less embarrassing to send off to my editor. And of course thanks goes to Jenny Jacoby, my editor, for making my book so much better with her editing skills. Thanks so much for helping me look smarter than I am.
Last but not least, I owe so much to my family. To my husband, Nick, thank you for supporting me through the crazy drafting and editing, for watching our kids as I ran off to the library so many times, and for being patient with my crazy schedule. You are the best husband of 2013! To my wonderful mother, Kim, and my sweet mother-in-law, Barbara, thank you for taking your big share of hanging out with my kids as well—your support means everything to me. And to my little sister McKenna, thanks for being my biggest fan and always reminding me why I write in the first place. Love you all!
Natalie Whipple
Natalie Whipple, sadly, does not have any cool mutations like her characters. Unless you count the ability to watch anime and Korean dramas for hours on end. Or her uncanny knack for sushi consumption. She currently lives in Utah with her husband and three kids.
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