Before I knew what was happening, his arms were around me and his lips were crushing mine. Not caring that he had no idea why I was at his house, I threaded my fingers around his neck and into his hair, anchoring him to me, as his tongue plunged into my mouth, and his lips furiously tangled with mine. His grip around my back never loosened, as we melded together as one, and I felt like I’d come home for the first time in months.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally pulled back, and I protested, missing him already.
“Nora called me,” he gasped. “She told me everything, and I’m so pissed off, but that’s overshadowed completely by the fact that you’re standing here waiting for me.”
He rested his forehead against mine, his breath coming in ragged bursts. I could smell alcohol on his breath mixed with the faint scent of his cologne.
“She did?”
I assumed I’d have to explain everything to him, but Nora had done it for me. I owed her for that, because now I could just fall back into Jase, and we could start being together again without words and explanations and whys. We could start making up for lost time.
“Yeah, she told me about Chloe and her confession and everything else, but what was most important was that she said you were on your way here to see me, and I had to get here. I had to get to you.”
“I love you,” I croaked out, happy tears filling my eyes.
“I love you too, so much, Logan. I never stopped loving you, and I never cheated,” he said, getting just as emotional as me.
“I know, I know,” I said softly, tears streaming down my face.
He shook his head. “No, you don’t know how good it feels to know that I really was faithful to you. I couldn’t stand that I’d potentially done that, with her, and to you. I hated myself.”
“I know. I know, but it’s okay now. It’s all okay.”
He kissed me again, searing me with his heated touch and then moved to kiss my cheeks, to kiss away each tear that fell, that represented the betrayal we both felt and the heartbreak we’d experienced for so long. It was all bubbling up in a rush of emotion I couldn’t control.
“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, Jase. I’m sorry,” I gushed, as his lips continued to pepper my face, my neck and my shoulders with sweet, warm, loving kisses, sealing his love to my skin, to my soul.
“No,” he said in between kisses. “You had every right to believe what you saw. Chloe made sure you would, and even though in my heart I knew I didn’t sleep with her, I honestly didn’t know for sure.”
He looked up at me, his green eyes dancing in the porch light overhead, and it had been so long since he’d looked at me like that. For months he’d looked at me with longing or despair or regret, and I welcomed back the look of pure love and adoration that he’d graced me with constantly until that night back in March when Chloe had ripped everything away from us.
I ran my hands up behind Jase’s head and looked at him, really looked at him, relishing in the fact that I could do that, that I didn’t have to sneak glances or pretend I wasn’t feeling all the things I’d always felt for him. I could love him freely.
I pressed my body against his, feeling the hard planes of his chest and the familiar curve of muscles I knew so well.
“I can’t get close enough,” I said, shaking my head.
It was then that he lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He unlocked the front door one handed, and slammed it closed behind us before walking us through the house, his gaze never leaving mine. He looked like he was almost in pain, and I knew it was because there had been distance between us for so long that we both wanted to close once and for all. But at the same time there was a calmness to him I hadn’t seen in a while, probably since before the new year when he became aware that Chloe was coming back into his life, uninvited.
I think he knew back then, when he first told me about her starring opposite him in Sons of Sovereignty, that she would cause him pain of some kind, that she would cause us pain. And I think I knew it too. But I don’t think either of us could have predicted what she’d actually done. We were too good-hearted to even imagine something like that, and because of that, she’d succeeded. Almost.
I didn’t want to think about the next time he’d see her, because there were three more movies. And granted they would be focused on other characters in the band, but his character would be there, and Chloe’s would make appearances. They’d interact again, but something told me this time Jase would have his guard up even more, and he’d never let her get close enough to try something like she had. She’d burned him, and she wouldn’t do it again.
Jase slowly laid me down on his bed, coming to rest so he was half on top of me, his leg tangled between mine, his chest rising just above mine as he balanced himself on his forearm. It was an identical pose to the one we’d been in just a week earlier at the 57 Jeans shoot, when I’d kissed him.
But I didn’t want to think of that day. I didn’t want to relive how I’d felt, like I’d been betraying myself when I’d done what felt right and kissed Jase. It had felt so wrong and right at the same time. Now, I just wanted this moment between us to feel right, because there was nothing wrong about it.
I reached out and clutched his dark gray button-down shirt at the first button, slowly undoing it with my fingers before moving on to the next. When I was done, I slid it off of his shoulders and down his arms before grasping the bottom of his white t-shirt and dragging it over his head to reveal his bare chest, tan and toned and beautiful.
I ran my hands up the planes, feeling the hardness and the masculinity at the same time my senses were assaulted by his fresh, clean scent that brought me home to him each time he was near. I moved my hands up over his shoulders and down the muscles that rippled out of his upper arms, the feel of them making me want to speed up what we were doing, but I couldn’t. We were re-exploring each other and savoring what we’d been denied for so long. I wanted to take it slow, and I knew he did too.
Jase dipped his head, so his mouth was by my ear, his body sinking down so his chest pressed against mine. He kissed the spot right under my earlobe.
“There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t want you right here with me. I haven’t thought of anyone else, I haven’t been with anyone else, and each day I hoped and prayed that we’d get back here, that you’d come back to me in some way. I never stopped fighting for us.”
I knew his words, said with such intensity, were meant to make me feel how much he loved me, but they only made me feel guilty. I hadn’t stayed as faithful as he had, and it was because I’d partially given up hope. I didn’t see a silver lining to our situation, but he had. He always had.
“I can’t say the same thing, Jase,” I said, feeling awful, but he had to know the truth. Hell, he already knew.
“Shh,” he said, kissing my neck. “I know, and it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not, but I never stopped loving you. It was torture because I just wanted to be with you and I couldn’t.”
“I know, I know. And had our situations been reversed, I would have felt the same way, because Logan you didn’t do anything wrong.”
He pulled back to look at me, his eyes searching mine for understanding.
“You didn’t either, baby.”
He shook his head. “But you didn’t know that. I didn’t know that, and a part of me was punishing myself for losing you, for being so stupid that I lost you. I hated myself.”
“I know,” I said, as I guided his lips down to mine. “I know.”
Then I got lost in his kiss, shutting out the bad memories and the pain and just living in the moment of what we had there and then, together.
He shifted then so he was wholly on top of me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, anchoring him to me. He groaned, and I knew then that taking it slow was about to go out the window as I felt him harden between my legs.
“Too many clothes,” I whined, and he smiled against my lips.
&nbs
p; “I agree.” He rolled off of me then.
“No,” I protested, and he stood up.
“Come on,” he said, reaching for my hand.
He pulled me to a standing position and turned me around so he could unzip my dress. His hand moved slow, grazing my bare back as he went, his skin on mine searing as it fueled a fire deep within me that had been burning hotter since the first moment he’d kissed me.
As my dress fell to the floor, Jase’s hands rose from my hips to my stomach to cup my bare breasts, pulling me back against his chest as he massaged and teased and made me crazy with want.
“I love that you’re not wearing a bra,” he murmured in my ear, his breath hot on my skin.
“The dress didn’t work with one,” I said, my breath coming in short gasps, as he slid one hand down my stomach and into my panties, stroking me evenly.
“I don’t think you should ever wear one again,” he said, as I leaned my head back against his shoulder and moaned softly.
“Whatever you want,” I said, not able to think clearly when he was assaulting my senses from practically every angle.
He chuckled softly, as he increased his pace.
“Jase,” I said after a few minutes, as the tension was building inside of me.
“Just let go, baby,” he said, and I knew he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
“What about you?” I protested weakly.
“We’ll get to me,” he promised, as his mouth sucked gently on my earlobe, his tongue darting out to taste my skin.
It was at the moment that he pressed against me from both the back and the front that I fell apart in his hands. I could feel how much he wanted me, and with everything he was doing with his hands and his mouth, it was too much, and I couldn’t hold on any longer.
Jase let me ride out the wave that had crashed over me as I collapsed back against him. I felt him slide my panties down, and then he moved me so I was laying at the edge of the bed, my knees bent, my feet resting on the floor. He stood in front of me, tall and gorgeous, his body so breathtakingly beautiful, and he just watched me, his gaze never leaving mine as he slowly undid the button on his jeans and let them fall to the floor. His boxer briefs followed, and then he was between my legs.
When he pushed forward, he kept his gaze locked on mine, his hands on either side of my thighs, bracing me. I closed my eyes against the sensation that was overwhelming me. It had been so long that I wasn’t used to him, but he felt so good at the same time.
“Open your eyes, Logan,” he said softly. “I want to look at you.”
I opened my eyes, and he started to move.
“Jase,” I said softly, and he stopped.
“Am I hurting you?”
I shook my head. “No, it feels so good.”
He smiled. “That was my goal.”
“Mission accomplished,” I gasped, as he started to move faster, creating a rhythm that both drove me wild and made me crave more.
Soon I was writhing and moaning under him, and I could see he was getting close. Knowing this, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, knowing it would drive him wild. He started moving faster, his rhythm breaking, sweat beading on his forehead, and then he hit that right spot that completely threw me over the edge. He followed a few seconds later, pausing mid-thrust before he relaxed and collapsed on top of me, his head buried next to mine.
His breathing was belabored, his chest rising and falling, his heart pounding against mine, his warm breath against my skin.
“I love you,” he gasped out, his lips closing on my neck and staying there for several beats. “I love you so much, Logan.”
I brought my arms up to encircle his back, my hands splaying out over his shoulders, holding him in place, never wanting him to move. His skin was so warm, and he felt like home. Being with him was what was right and good and made sense. It was what made me feel whole.
As we came down from our highs, Jase finally shifted off of me and pulled me into his arms, so we were fully on the bed. I let him hold me for as long as he wanted, because it was what I wanted too. My head was on his pillow, and he was spooning me from behind, his hand moving in a random pattern on my bare stomach.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he told me after several moments of silence.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promised him.
“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying.”
I turned to face him, and he looked at me with such longing, such desire, such love, that I had to lean forward and capture his lips with mine. I had to feel him, taste him, savor him. I entwined my legs with his, fusing us together.
When I pulled back, neither of us moved. We stayed inches from each other, our bodies connected, our gaze never breaking.
“What were you saying?” I asked, because I wasn’t sure where his train of thought had been going before, and now I’d forgotten completely.
“Logan, I want you to stay with me for the summer.”
“You do?”
I couldn’t help the shocked expression on my face. Was I hearing him correctly?
But I had only stayed in L.A. after classes ended because of the wedding. I wasn’t staying for the summer. I was headed back to Florida. My flight was on Monday. In all of the craziness that had happened that night and in reuniting with Jase, I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I was leaving so soon.
“Look, I know what you’re thinking. We’re young, it’s too soon, we just got back together, but what’s between us is so real, and I don’t want to be separated from you at all. I want to go to sleep next to you and have you wake up every day next to me. I know you had plans to live at your mom’s house this summer, but I want you to stay here, with me. And then, if everything works out, maybe you can just move in – permanently.”
Oh, wow.
“Jase, I’m not staying with my mom. I’m going home to Florida this summer,” I blurted out, completely blowing past the fact that he wanted me to move in with him. That was a completely different conversation – one that excited and sort of terrified me.
“What? Why?” he asked, the panic he was feeling evident in his eyes.
I let out a breath. “Because, I miss my dad. I want to see him. There wasn’t anything keeping me here.”
He let his gaze fall, and then his eyes shot back up. “There is now. I’m here. Logan, you can’t go.”
“I can’t back out now. My dad will kill me. He’ll already be pissed that we’re back together, which I can explain to him, but it’ll take him a while to trust you again. I can’t very well tell him that I’m moving in with you for the summer.”
“You can’t leave me,” he insisted. “I won’t let you.”
He was being irrational, but I could understand why. We were both so vulnerable that it might take some time to wrap our heads around the fact that we were back together and it was for real.
“Jase, I love you, and I’m not leaving you. I’m just leaving L.A. temporarily. I’ll be back at the end of August.”
Maybe I could come back early. My dad would probably be okay with that.
He shook his head. “That’s too long.”
“Yeah, but you’ll be gone for all of June and most of July. You’ll be in South Carolina, filming.”
He shook his head. “No, Luiz ran into some issues with permits and land use or something, so they pushed filming back. I’ll be gone for almost all of August and most of September.”
“Seriously? That sucks, Jase.”
He’d be leaving just when I was getting back, and then I wouldn’t see him for two months.
“I know. Dammit.”
Then he was suddenly up and out of bed, rifling through the pockets of his jeans. I saw him grab his cell phone and start to dial a number.
“Who are you calling?” I asked, but he waved me off. It was after one in the morning.
I suddenly feared he was calling Luiz to pull out of the movie which was so incredibly stupid. He couldn’t do th
at because of me.
“Hey man,” he said after a few seconds. “Did I wake you? . . . Oh, sorry. . . . I didn’t realize it was so late. Listen, I need a favor. . . . No, tomorrow’s fine. . . . . I need you to find me a house in Ft. Lauderdale for the summer.”
My eyebrows rose as I heard those words and realized what he was doing. I felt like I should protest, but I really didn’t want to. I wanted him close by, and the fact that he was willing to uproot his life to move to Florida for two months floored me.
“Yeah, we’re back together,” he confirmed, a wide smile lighting up his face, and I heard Gary shriek with excitement on the other end of the line. Then he was asking questions, and I couldn’t hear him clearly.
“Just for June and July,” Jase told him. “The size of the place doesn’t matter, but privacy does, of course, and I want to be as close to Logan’s dad’s house as possible. And make sure there’s a guest house since I’m going to need to bring Charlie with me, and I’m sure he’ll want to fly Sloane down, so I want them to be able to be alone.”
I was in awe of how thoughtful he was being. He was a good friend.
“No, I don’t need you to come. I’ll just have you manage things from here. Is that cool? . . . Okay, thanks man. Sorry again to disturb you. . . . Okay, have a good night.”
He dropped his phone after he disconnected from Gary and turned to look at me. “Should I have asked if that was okay?” Then he shook his head. “No, I’m not letting you answer that, because even if you don’t want me there, I’m going to be there. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
When he saw I was smiling, he settled back down next to me in bed and smoothed my hair back from my face.
“It is okay, right?”
I let my grin expand. “Of course it’s all right. It’s perfect. Jase, I don’t want to be separated from you either. I would miss you like crazy. Thank you for doing that.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good.” Then he let his forehead fall against my shoulder. “I think I’m probably going to be a little insecure for a while. I just don’t want to lose you, Logan. What happened to us wrecked me so hard, and I’m so afraid of it happening again.”
Gravity Happens (Forcing Gravity) Page 34