The Secrets of a Lady (The Jordans)

by Jenna Petersen

  With a pause, she calculated her next move. She needed to say or do something that would encourage Ellison to trust her, but wouldn’t give him the impression she wanted him to touch her again.

  “Thank you, Douglas, er Mr. Ellison.”

  A thin smile turned up his lips. “Of course you must call me by my given name, Audrey. Our friendship has progressed to a point where that kind of familiarity might be expected.”

  Blushing, she shook her head and dropped her eyes. “Oh, Mr. Ellison, I’m not sure.”

  “If you’re uncomfortable with calling me by my name in public, perhaps you’ll only do so in private,” he offered with a light touch of his hand on hers. It was cold and slightly clammy, reminding Audrey of a fish at market.

  “Hmmm.” She pretended to ponder the inappropriate request. “Do you mean like a secret between us, Douglas?”

  One corner of his lips bobbed up in triumph. “Yes, exactly.”

  She batted her eyes just a flutter and looked at him with a slow smile. “Very well. I trust you enough to share a secret with you. I hope you feel the same way about me.”

  “I do, Audrey.” Now his voice was deathly serious and he leaned forward a fraction, his eyelids heavy with what she now recognized as desire.

  With a shiver, she stood up. “Now, Douglas, I see that same gleam in your eye that was there the night of the opera. I hope you understand if I don’t include passionate embraces as part of our relationship… at least not yet. A lady must protect her reputation, you know.”

  With a purse of his lips, he sank back against the ottoman. “Of course. Your reputation was part of what drew me to you.”

  “W-Well,” she stammered. “I’m glad I meet with your approval then. And that you understand my position.”

  “Of course,” he said with a smooth smile she didn’t trust for even a moment. For the first time, she realized he would take what he wanted if it wouldn’t be given freely. He was only biding his time to have her.

  She shifted uncomfortably. “It has been more than quarter of an hour.”

  For once she was happy for the societal rules that said a man shouldn’t call for very long. Despite not learning anything useful about Ellison, she wanted him far away from her.

  One of his eyebrows arched at her not-so-delicate hint and his eyes hardened. “Are you counting the minutes so closely, Audrey?”

  With a quick internal curse, she returned to her seat. “Of course not,” she insisted. “But my brother and Lord Berenger may be. They’re both very protective of me.”

  At that, Ellison straightened up and his nostrils flared. “Yes, I’ve noticed Lord Berenger’s ‘protective’ nature toward you at the opera. Are you certain you can trust him, my dear?”

  “Whatever do you mean?” She felt a ridiculous impulse to defend Griffin. “Lord Berenger poses no threat to me.”

  “I wonder. After all, the man should be coming out of mourning soon and here you are, right down the hallway from him.” Ellison’s eyes narrowed. “You would be easy enough prey.”

  Audrey gave an affronted frown. “Mr. Ellison, do you really think I would allow you to court me while I gave Lord Berenger some kind of liberties? Is that the kind of woman you take me for?”

  Ellison shook his head. “No, of course not. As I said a moment ago, I have every faith in you. It is Berenger I don’t trust.”

  She said nothing, but turned her face so she wouldn’t reveal too much of the truth.

  Ellison leaned closer. “Why don’t you and your brother consider leaving this house and coming to stay with me at my estate? You could enjoy my hospitality without bearing any of Berenger’s unwanted attentions.”

  Audrey barely held back a laugh of contempt. Little did the bastard know that it was his attentions that gave her nightmares.

  “Douglas…”

  “Consider it,” he interrupted with an intense stare deep into her eyes. “Say you’ll consider it and I will believe you don’t wish Berenger to court you.”

  Her blood ran cold. Ellison was asking her to choose between the two men. If she didn’t promise to mull over his dangerous offer, he would take it that she was picking Griffin.

  “I-I will think about it,” she stammered. “Though it will ultimately be up to my brother where we stay in London.”

  With a nod, he said, “I was hoping you would make the right decision. Now I should return to my work. Good afternoon, Audrey.”

  He grasped her hand and raised it to his lips, pressing an excessively wet kiss on her fingertips.

  “Good afternoon,” she repeated with a thin smile.

  ***

  As soon as Ellison had departed the house, Griffin entered the sitting room in three long strides. “Why do you insist on putting yourself in danger?”

  Audrey spun around from the mantel with wide, blue eyes.

  “You startled me.”

  She placed a hand on her heart and drew his gaze to the soft curves of her body. The woman was a damned distraction, and the way she made him feel when she touched him could only bring him trouble in the end.

  “What should startle you is the way Ellison is reeling you in like a fish on a hook.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the blackguard’s home. “Why don’t you just strip down and wait for him in his bed, Audrey? Or better yet, load up a gun and let him fire away once he discovers you’ve been playing games with him?”

  Her face darkened a shade, but he could see the hurt in her eyes as well as the anger at his sharp comment.

  “Griffin,” she whispered. “That’s enough.”

  “I agree. That is enough. You just promised a murderer and a traitor that you would consider moving yourself into his home and out of the modicum of protection you enjoy in these walls.”

  “You were eavesdropping on my investigation?” she asked, her mouth dropping open in disbelief.

  “No, I was passing by the door when you made your ridiculous vow.” He tilted his head. “And you’re avoiding the subject.”

  “There wasn’t any choice.” She let out a long sigh. “Ellison believes you’re preying on my virtue. I told him I would consider moving to his home.”

  “And you see no harm in that?”

  “It’s a ruse to keep the man happy for the time being. A few words from Noah and it will all be avoided.” She turned away, but not before Griffin saw how tired she looked.

  He bit back a heated retort and sat down in the closest chair. He hated to make her look so sad and defeated, but she didn’t seem to grasp the danger of what she was doing.

  “You and your brother are so nonchalant about this operation,” he said. “But I cannot watch you march into the lion’s den with no armor, Audrey.”

  She turned slowly to face him, her skin pale. She took a small step in his direction. “What are you saying?”

  “Obviously my thoughts on this subject won’t be heeded, so I’m leaving tonight.”

  “O-Our cover…” Audrey said. “Our case…”

  “Don’t you see, I don’t give a damn about your case any longer.” Griffin wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her. Wanted to press his lips against hers and show her just how serious he was. “I can’t watch you harm yourself.”

  “But if you go, we’ll have no chance to catch Ellison. Not only that, but he might even guess that my relationship with him was all a ruse. I’ll be in more danger then.” Her hand stirred at her side as if she wanted to take his.

  Griffin wished she would. He wanted her to choose him over her case. Not that he would know what to do if she did. He still had no future to offer her.

  “I want to protect you.”

  “Help me protect our country and our Prince.” Her body swayed in his direction before she snapped back. “And that will protect me. Together we can beat Ellison.”

  “Together.”

  His body relaxed at that thought. He pushed to his feet and moved toward her. She tracked his every step and her breath shortened when h
e reached her. Against his better judgment and all the promises he’d made, he brought his hand down to brush her cheek gently. Her skin was soft and smooth beneath his rough fingertips, like the finest satin.

  Audrey gave a soft sigh, almost a whimper, and closed her eyes for a brief moment to lean into his hand.

  “Audrey!”

  Griffin turned to see Noah standing in the doorway, both hands on his hips and eyes dark with anger. Breaking away from her, Griffin stifled a groan at his own stupidity. Here he’d promised not to touch Audrey again and he couldn’t seem to help himself.

  “Noah.” She took a few steps toward her brother, her face darkening and her eyes wide. “Please.”

  “I’d like to speak with you for a moment,” Noah said, looking evenly at Griffin though he spoke to Audrey.

  Griffin held the gaze without blinking, feeling part foolish he’d betrayed his friend, and part defiant. Audrey had a right to choose whom she wanted in her life, Noah be damned.

  Throwing a quick glance over her shoulder, Audrey met his eyes and mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

  He smiled at her briefly, then watched her walk away after her brother. He wondered how he’d ever manage to let her leave permanently.

  ***

  “What the hell are you doing, Audrey?” Noah shut his door behind them and gave her an exasperated stare.

  “Nothing,” she said, though her emotions belied her statement. Her cheek still tingled where Griffin had touched her, and her heart throbbed when she thought of the tender look in his eyes.

  “It can lead to nothing, of that I’m sure.” Noah walked to his window to lean against the glass. He crossed his arms and looked at her expectantly. “At least tell me why you’re doing this?”

  Fidgeting against his pointed stare, she snapped, “I’m doing my job, Noah, nothing more. Well, my job and trying to stay out of Griffin’s way just as he asked me.”

  “Ha!” Noah shook his head. “If anything you’re settling yourself into Griffin’s life, not removing yourself from it.”

  Her cheeks flamed. “How?”

  Somehow she’d hoped her growing feelings for Griffin weren’t as clear to everyone else as they were to her. She’d tried to avoid doing things that would draw attention to her heart, but sometimes they were inevitable. Like that moment in the drawing room. How was she to know Noah was watching?

  “I see you studying Griffin. Whenever he comes into a room, you can’t keep your eyes off him.” Her brother arched an eyebrow.

  Giving an exasperated sigh, she said nothing. There was no use trying to lie to her shrewd brother.

  “When you talk to him, you touch his arm, you lean in close to him. I don’t think you even realize you do it,” he continued. “My God, you act like you might have a future with the man.”

  She winced at his harsh words, though she knew he meant well and was right in his assessment. Despite her better judgment, she was finding herself drawn into Griffin’s existence each day.

  “Do you really want to set yourself up for the kind of heartache you experienced five years ago? Griffin is attracted to you, he may even care for you, but after everything he’s been through, he’ll never be able to give you what you want. Or what you need.” Noah’s expression relaxed and he looked at her with the pure love of a concerned brother. “Do you want to go through that hurt again?”

  “No,” she whispered. “Of course not.”

  Noah straightened up and opened his arms. Though his words made her prickle with defensiveness, she walked into his embrace and allowed him to hug her.

  “I adore you, Audrey. I don’t want to see you in pain.” His voice was muffled in her hair.

  “I realize you mean well,” she conceded. “But I’m handling this as best I can. Griffin and I have already promised to stay away from each other. Today was an unfortunate slip, but I’ll be more careful in the future.”

  Noah sighed as he released her. “Audrey, if I thought for a moment you could have a real future with Griffin Berenger, I would bless your relationship. After all, the man is my best friend.”

  “But you don’t think I could.” Her tone was flat as she crossed back to the door and fiddled with the knob.

  Noah shook his head. “Not because of you, Audrey. Grif has been through a lot in the past few years. I don’t think he would allow himself to love you, and after everything you’ve been through you deserve nothing less than love.”

  Audrey sighed, turning the knob and opening the door. Before she left, she turned back.

  “I’ve always wanted love, but perhaps it doesn’t exist after all. Perhaps it’s just a silly dream that no one really realizes. And if that’s true, then perhaps I’ve been fooling myself all along.”

  “Audrey…” Noah called after her, but she ignored him as she hurried down the hallway into her chamber. Hannah looked up from a book as she entered, but she dropped it at her friend’s face.

  “What is it?” She rose to her feet with wide eyes and an expectant frown.

  “Nothing.” Audrey fought back tears as she flopped onto a chair.

  “It isn’t nothing,” Hannah said.

  “It can be no more than nothing,” Audrey snapped before she slammed her palm down on her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror.

  Most of the time when she gazed into the looking glass, Audrey still saw the little girl she’d once been. The awkward one who couldn’t dance to save her life, whose hair never quite stayed in place, who had freckles where all the other girls had creamy skin. Sometimes, though, when she was honest with herself, she could see the changes that had come over her.

  With the help of her brother and Hannah, she had transformed into a woman. And while she wouldn’t go so far as to say she was a great beauty, she was pleasant enough to look at. Her red hair now took the complicated styles of the day, curling around her face in an almost attractive fashion.

  She’d learned to dance from her brother, who’d taken the time and injury involved in teaching her the grace to glide across a floor rather than stampede. With the help of lemon juice and fantastic hats, her freckles had faded away.

  With a bitter laugh, she turned away from her reflection. She had somehow become everything she had once wanted to be, but it still wasn’t enough. The one man she had wanted for what seemed like her whole life still didn’t want her. Or if he wanted her, he certainly didn’t want to keep her.

  Hannah touched her hand. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I already told you, it’s nothing, Hannah,” Audrey said as she moved away to stare out the window at Griffin’s gardens and beyond over the city. “I just remembered that life isn’t always fair, no matter how much you change.”

  Chapter Ten

  Griffin looked out the window of the carriage as it passed into Hyde Park. Over ten thousand troops milled about the park grounds, ready to begin the reenactment of the battle of Trafalgar on the Serpentine. Mixed in were thousands upon thousands of people of all rank and age, from the poorest peasant to the Prince Regent himself.

  “This looks to be the perfect place to kill a King,” he muttered.

  Audrey glanced up from the papers in her hand and out the window, taking in what Griffin had already seen. “Yes.” She glanced first at him then her brother and Hannah. “Or even a Prince or two.”

  Griffin smiled at her remark though the worry he had felt from the very beginning of this entire mess was growing daily. Not only was Audrey pursuing a dangerous traitor, but a man who Griffin was certain would accost her if he got the chance. That made Ellison more treacherous and put Audrey in even more peril. Even though the brother and sister team wanted to deny it, the fact that Ellison was pushing her to leave Griffin’s house, to distance herself from any man who was a friend, was proof that the traitor was growing bolder. He felt he had a claim to protect in Audrey.

  Noah pulled the curtain back from his window a fraction as the carriage stopped in a line of traffic. “There will be guns goin
g off and explosions starting the moment the reenactment begins at eight. All manner of people will be running around with weaponry, be it working or not. We all must be on our guard.”

  Audrey nodded but her gaze was focused on Griffin. He shifted in his seat as her eyes drifted away. Since their encounter in the sitting room a few afternoons before, he’d been increasingly uncomfortable around her. It was becoming evident that being her friend was much more difficult than he’d thought. Especially when all he wanted to do was touch her, kiss her, make her his in every primal way he could.

  “Oh, Lord,” Audrey sighed as she covered her eyes.

  “What is it?” Hannah craned her neck to see over Audrey’s head and out the window.

  She rolled her eyes in Griffin and Noah’s direction. “Ellison. He’s standing waiting by where all the carriages are parking now. I’m not going to get a moment’s peace from that man.”

  “And that’s exactly what we want, dear sister,” Noah said with a chuckle. “So chin up, smile, and pretend you can’t get enough of him.”

  Griffin stifled a laugh as Audrey gave her brother a withering glare. How he’d hate to be on the receiving end of such a look.

  “It’s so very simple for you to mock,” she muttered. “You get the easy job every time. I’m the one who has to spend my time with disgusting letches.”

  Noah looked playfully affronted. “I’ve had to sacrifice my evenings for the job from time to time.”

  Griffin bit back a bark of laughter that made both siblings and Hannah turn to look at him in surprise. “You told me those ‘sacrifices’ have been most pleasant on the whole.”

  “That’s right,” Hannah chimed in with a shake of her dark curls. “You’ve never complained in all the years I’ve known you.”

  Noah put a finger to his lips. “Hush you two, I’m trying to make Audrey feel better.”

  With a voice dripping with sarcasm, Audrey shook her head. “Thank you so very much, my dearest brother.”