by Deanna Chase
“You mean Katy,” Amelia said.
“No, I mean Kira. Katy is her stage name.” He slipped his fingers through hers and kissed the back of her hand. “It’s a long story, and the reason I didn’t tell you before is because I have an NDA in place. But since she told you herself, that no longer applies. If you’ll let me, I’d like to take you home, make you something to eat if you’re hungry, and then explain my friendship with Kira. But only if you’re up for it. I don’t want you to have to deal with any of it if you just need peace and quiet.”
“No. I want to know.” She slipped her arm around his waist and leaned into his chest. It was in that moment that all of her anxiety eased, and she was ready to accept whatever it was Grayson had to offer. Because it was clear that, no matter what she told herself, she needed this man in her life. His presence just made her feel safe and cared for in a way that she’d never really experienced before. “I’m supposed to be on bedrest for the next week, so when we get home, you can wait on me while I pretend your entire existence is for the purpose of pleasing me.”
Heat flashed in his dark eyes, and a spark of electricity zoomed through her body, making her want to plaster herself to him. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “That might have come out more sexual than I intended. Normally I’d just roll with it, but you heard Healer Gerry. Absolutely no sex.”
Grayson groaned and mumbled something about it being a long five months, but then he kissed her temple again before ordering her into the wheelchair Martin had left behind.
“I can walk,” she said stubbornly.
“It’s either that, or I’m carrying you out of here. You heard the woman. Off your feet for the next week.”
When she hesitated to get into the chair, Grayson took matters into his own hands and swept her up into his arms.
She protested, but when it was clear he wouldn’t be deterred as he strode down the hallway, she gave in and rested her head against his strong shoulder. Then she mentally congratulated herself for refusing the wheelchair, because there simply wasn’t anything better than being manhandled by Grayson Riley.
Chapter 16
After grabbing Amelia’s herbs and information packet, Grayson thanked Levi and promised to be available for anything the young man needed in the future. Then Grayson carried Amelia out to his SUV, placed her in the passenger seat, and secured her seatbelt as if she were a helpless child and then drove her straight home, desperate to keep her safe and off her feet.
Once they were parked in her driveway, Grayson opened the SUV passenger door, held his arms wide open and said, “Hop in.”
Amelia eyed him and shook her head as a small smile claimed her lips. “You’re enjoying this entirely too much.”
“So are you,” he countered.
Amusement danced in her eyes, and it warmed him to the core. Earlier, when he’d walked into that exam room and seen her so upset, his heart had nearly stopped. He’d been sure that they were going to tell him that she’d lost the baby. But then Healer Whipple had made it clear everything was fine and all Amelia had to do was rest. He hadn’t even realized just how scared he was until he’d heard those reassuring words. His entire body had been curled tight, as if protecting him from a terrible fate. But then the tension drained away, and all he wanted to do was hold Amelia and reassure her that nothing was going to happen to their baby.
Grayson waited as Amelia unlocked her door and then smiled to himself when he carried her over the threshold. Would that be them on their wedding day sometime in the future? He had no idea if they were destined for such a union, but he liked to think it was possible.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked.
“The future.” He kicked the door closed and headed straight for her room. After placing her gently on her bed, he removed her shoes and then climbed onto the bed with her.
“Is this the way it’s going to be?” she asked, suddenly looking serious.
He laid down beside her and tucked one of her dark curls behind her ear. “What do you mean?”
“This.” She waved at him. “You. When we’re together, you’re attentive and supportive and you make me feel… cherished. But then you leave, and you have this whole other history and life that revolves around a literal movie star, and that just seems really big. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Katy Carmichael is at your house right now, probably waiting in your bed so that you two can cuddle.” She practically spit out the word cuddle.
Grayson sat up, needing to collect his thoughts. She’d just said a mouthful, and he needed to process her words before he responded.
After a moment, Amelia pushed herself up and leaned against the pillows piled up against her headboard. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything,” she explained. “Katy said that you two often sleep in the same bed because you like to cuddle.”
He let out a bark of humorless laughter. “Did she? That’s interesting.” He decided it was a damned good thing that Kira wasn’t there in Amelia’s house, because he seriously didn’t know if he’d be able to keep his cool. What the hell was she thinking, saying something like that to Amelia?
“Is it not true?” Her eyes were wide with both suspicion and trepidation.
“No. At least not recently.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated by that damned NDA. He wasn’t supposed to be talking about his relationship with Kira, aka Katy Carmichael. But he’d already confided enough to Amelia that, surely, she had already put two and two together and knew that he’d dated her once upon a time. This was Kira’s fault. If she hadn’t shown up and ambushed Amelia, he wouldn’t feel he had to explain. At least not yet.
“Not recently?” Amelia squeaked. “So not since you left New York?”
“What? No!” He took a deep breath to give himself a second to settle his thoughts. “No,” he said again, this time feeling calmer. “If you’ve listened to your voicemail, you know that Kira is Katy’s given name and that she’s the friend I’ve been telling you about. Which means you already know that I dated her when we were younger. It wasn’t for that long, but we remained friends. Close friends. In those early years, we really only had each other to lean on. So yes, even after we were no longer an item, sometimes we cuddled when we needed comfort from someone. But it hasn’t been like that in a very long time.”
“So this was like, maybe ten years ago?” she asked, looking relieved.
Grayson nodded. It was close enough.
Amelia frowned. “So why did she taunt me with that yesterday?”
“Jealousy?” he guessed. “After college, I went to work for a PR company. I was there for a little over a year before she convinced me to come work for her full-time. That’s when she had me sign an NDA that included not talking about our relationship. Part of her image as a young star on the rise was always to appear available. Even the hint of a relationship was a problem for her. Which, at the time, was fine with me. I wasn’t interested in being in the tabloids and didn’t want the general public always wondering if we were together. We weren’t. But she had me all to herself for a lot of years. I suspect she thinks I left her and New York for you.”
“Are you saying you didn’t?”
“No. Not saying that at all.” He held his hand out to her and was gratified when she took it. He squeezed her fingers and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “I did regret ending things with you. But there are other, unrelated reasons why I left New York when I did and told Kira I wasn’t going to work for her anymore. I meant it when I told her I was done… for good this time.”
“Yet, she’s at your house right now,” Amelia said, staring at the wall behind him. But she didn’t let go of his hand.
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “She’s still that girl I lived next to all those years ago even if I have a hard time seeing her underneath her celebrity persona sometimes. I don’t work for her anymore. I won’t go back to that. I can’t. But I still care about what happens to her.”
“No,” he said with zero hesitation.
“Is she in love with you?”
He laughed. “No. Kira doesn’t know how to love anyone but herself. She cares about me. Of that, I’m sure. But love? I’m not sure she knows how to love someone else.” He felt like a traitor saying that. But it was what he’d concluded when they broke up all those years ago and again when he’d walked away from her on New Year’s Day. When she was away from acting and the press, he often saw glimpses of the girl he’d known. Unfortunately for him, that didn’t happen often. Her entire world revolved around landing the next big role. It wasn’t something he’d willingly sign up for again.
“Those words seem pretty harsh coming from the person who’s supposed to be her best friend.”
Grayson stared into Amelia’s large brown eyes and saw nothing but compassion staring back at him. He’d expected judgment but should’ve known better. Amelia wasn’t one for rushing to judgment. It was likely the only reason he still had a chance with her. “They are. I wish I could just tell you everything that has gone down with her and her friends, but on the other hand, I’m almost relieved that I can’t. It’s probably both worse and not quite as bad as you think. Anyway, can we say that I used to make unflattering stories go away and find ways to boost her public image and leave it at that?”
“That sounds like a dreadful existence, Grayson,” she said, moving over and laying her head on his shoulder.
“It was. But she’s been my only family for a long time. I wanted to help her and make her life easier. I felt needed, which was sort of a drug for a guy who doesn’t have many people in his life.” He shrugged, leaning into the vulnerable state he’d finally allowed himself to experience. “Like most drugs, the situation became toxic, and I probably should’ve walked away sooner, but I didn’t know how. It wasn’t until after I met you that I learned how I should be treated. You showed me that without even trying. It’s just who you are.”
“Oh, Grayson,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and holding on tightly. “You deserve so much love. I’m so sorry your parents were taken from you so soon and that those around you haven’t had the tools to care for you the way you deserve to be cared for.”
“I’m okay,” he said thickly. He was surprised that it didn’t bother him for her to see him so clearly. But he also didn’t want her to think he was broken. A little scarred maybe, but not broken.
“I know you are. That’s what’s so remarkable. Thank you for being honest. I know there are things you can’t tell me, and that’s okay. You have a past that doesn’t involve me. Let’s just move forward from here. Okay?”
He let out a sigh of relief and gathered her close. “I can’t think of anything I want more.”
“Just promise me one thing?”
“What’s that?” he asked, willing to give her anything in that moment.
“Be honest with me about whatever’s going on with you and Kira. Like I said, I know there are things you can’t tell me, and I’m fine with that. I honestly don’t need the drama.” She pressed a hand to her belly and smiled softly. “I just care about what’s happening from this point forward. If she’s going to be in your life, which it appears she is, then just don’t let me be ambushed by anything, okay?”
“I’ll try,” he said, meaning it. “I can’t promise that won’t happen because her life is a circus, and you’ve already seen a bit of how she behaves when she’s spiraling, but…” He trailed off, realizing he was about to make excuses for his old friend. She’d deliberately manipulated Amelia into thinking things that weren’t true, all to appease her own ego. He wasn’t going to stand for that again. Amelia was who he cared about, who he wanted to be with, and who he wanted to share a life with. Letting Kira railroad any of that wasn’t acceptable. “You know what? Forget that. If she can’t treat you with respect, then she won’t be in our lives.”
She raised both of her eyebrows. “You’d cut off contact with her for me?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
“I don’t want you to do that,” she said softly. “It can’t be because of me. I don’t want to be the person who comes between you and someone you care about.”
And that was just one of the reasons he loved her so much. Her empathy, combined with her strength, drew him in and fascinated him. “I appreciate that,” he said and kissed the top of her head. “But it wouldn’t only be for you. It’d be for me, too. I want a life like my parents had before the accident. It was full of love and family and living an authentic life. That’s not Kira’s existence. And I’m starting to realize it likely never will be. I’ve been holding onto her because of our past. But if holding onto her ruins my future, than I have to learn to let go. Like you said, it’s okay to realize that people are in your life for a while for a reason, but every relationship isn’t meant to last forever.”
She stared up at him and placed her palm over his heart. “Just know that I’ll never ask you to choose. Whatever you decide is right for you, I’ll support your decision.”
Tears stung Grayson’s eyes. He’d never had someone like her in his corner before. She only wanted what was best for him. That rang true in everything she said and did, and it had from the beginning. “Amelia?”
“Yeah?”
He swallowed hard, clearing the lump in his throat. Emotion threatened to overwhelm him, but when he spoke the words, they were clear and full of truth. “I love you.”
Tears shone in her eyes as she stared up at him. “Do you mean it?”
He nodded. “I’ve known ever since I walked away from you. I thought we needed more time, that things might be rushed, and maybe they are. But it’s how I feel, and you deserve to know.”
She let out a tiny sob of emotion and whispered, “I love you, too, Grayson Riley. I love you, too.”
Chapter 17
Amelia woke snuggled in Grayson’s arms. The dim morning light shown through the window, indicating it was just after sunrise. She’d never been much of an early riser, but ever since she’d become pregnant, her internal clock had reset, and now she was up with the birds more often than not.
She blinked the sleep from her eyes and studied Grayson as he slept. He seemed so peaceful and content in a way he hadn’t been when they were together before. The worry lines in his forehead had been smoothed away, and the tension in his limbs had eased. It warmed her all the way to her toes to think them coming together had something to do with that.
Doing her best not to rouse him, she slipped from the bed to make her way to the bathroom. Relief rushed through her when she realized the herbs had worked and the bleeding had stopped. She was filled with gratitude for Healer Whipple and made a mental note to text an update and a thank you once it was office hours.
After brushing her teeth and finishing her business in the bathroom, Amelia slipped back into bed, snuggling in close to Grayson. He let out a contented sigh, and much to her surprise, it wasn’t long before she fell back into slumber.
A rustling of the bedcovers woke Amelia from her morning nap, and a warm hand rested on her hip. His breath smelled of mint toothpaste as Grayson’s low voice whispered, “Morning, gorgeous.”
“Morning.” She rolled over and smiled up at his handsome face. “How did you sleep?”
“Better than I have in months. You? Are you feeling okay?” His hand moved to rest on her belly.
“Feeling perfect. The herbs worked. There was no bleeding this morning and while my back is stiff, I can at least move around without shooting pain down my leg.”
He let out a sigh of relief and nuzzled her neck before pressing a soft kiss just below her ear. “That’s the best news I’ve ever heard.”
Amelia ran her fingers through his soft hair, just enjoying lying with him. She’d really missed this, the physical connection they shared even when they weren’t doing anything more than ju
st touching each other.
“Damn, that feels good.”
“Mm-hmm,” she agreed.
He raised his head and stared down at her lips.
She gave him a soft smile and said, “Kiss me, Grayson.”
He didn’t hesitate. His lips brushed against hers, and she immediately opened to him. He tasted of mint and man and everything she’d ever wanted in life. Grayson pressed his palm to her cheek and deepened the kiss, taking her mouth like a starving man. They kissed for a long time, touching and exploring each other’s skin, but neither took it further. Eventually Grayson pulled back, slightly out of breath, and said, “I think maybe we should stop here before we take it too far.”
Amelia trailed her fingers down his chest and didn’t stop until she got to the waistband of his boxers. “Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean we can’t do other things. It doesn’t mean I can’t please you.”
Grayson let out a groan and shifted to his back as he covered his eyes with one hand. “You have no idea how much I want to say yes to that.” He lowered his arm and stared up at her as he tucked one of her curls behind her ear. “But I’d really like to wait until we’re both able to participate.”
She shook her head. “Pleasing you is me participating.” Then her hand slipped into his boxers, and they got lost in their kisses again. It didn’t take long until he let out another groan, this one of pure pleasure.
Pleased with herself, Amelia gave him one last kiss and then slipped out of bed and headed to the shower. It didn’t surprise her when the door opened and Grayson slipped in with her. Showering together had always been a favorite activity of his.
“I was wondering if you’d join me,” she said, glancing at him over her shoulder.