“I take it you’re never here.”
“I’m here more than you’d think. Would you like a drink?” He pauses. “Dinner... shoot. I never did feed you.”
I swallow and shrug. “That’s my fault. You tried.”
“Will you sit with me?” he asks as he waves toward the sofa. I nod my head and continue to walk barefoot. He places my heels by the door.
I sit on one side and he sits on the other. There’s a good two feet between us, and he attempts to scoot forward slightly to close the gap without invading my space. “About dinner…” he begins.
“I’m sorry I flipped out on you, it’s just—”
“Everly, please… let me say what I need to say.”
I nod my head and try to make myself stop shaking. I’m not sure why I’m trembling. I feel oddly comfortable sitting with him, and it makes no sense.
“I made a mistake tonight, and I’m sorry.”
My mind rushes to the kiss in the car, and I’m worried he regrets it. I cast my eyes downward and he moves closer to me to lift my chin with his finger.
“I wanted tonight to be special. I wanted a chance to give you the things I couldn’t give you when we were in school. I wanted to show you that I’ve changed. I never meant to come off as pompous or arrogant.”
“You didn’t.” I don’t lie well.
He frowns. “We both know I did. The truth is my life is just okay. Yeah, I travel a lot, but it’s a lonely existence.”
I consider his words for a moment. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
He nods. “Of course.”
“Why aren’t you married with a few gorgeous children by now? You’re obviously a successful man, and God knows you’re easy on the eyes. Why?”
He smirks then furrows his brows. He leans back on the couch and crosses his legs. I feel like he’s about to go into business mode. “I guess I just never found the right girl.”
“Phooey!” I yell. I sound like my Grandma Kay and I laugh at myself. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“I’ve dated. It’s not like I’ve been single my whole life, but it never amounted to more.”
“Why?”
His eyes move to regard me, and I can see he’s teetering on something. “Are you hungry?” he asks. “I could order a pizza.”
As much as I want him to answer my question, the offer of food makes my stomach rumble. He notices.
“That settles it. Let me think.” He stands and presses his finger to his lips. “Mushroom and sausage?”
“How do you remember that?” I question, amazed at his memory.
“I remember the important things.” He heads toward the kitchen and opens a drawer stuffed with various menus. I follow him.
“How I like my pizza is important?”
“It’s just something I remember because I never forgot you.”
I feel myself blush. I hear the rustle of papers and laugh. “Do you eat out often by any chance?”
He pauses and lifts his eyebrows upwards. He opens his fridge, and it’s empty but for a few beer bottles, a couple of bottles of water, a carton of eggs, and some Styrofoam containers.
I press my hand to my cheek and laugh. “Oh, Nick.”
He smiles brightly and returns to finding the right menu. “Ah, here it is. They deliver late. I’m a regular.” After he calls in the order, I lean on his bar as I sit on a stool. He leans his back against the cabinet and we stare at each other.
“I guess you were serious about wanting to come over for a meal after all.” I laugh.
He smirks and drops his head slightly. He strides over to the door and kicks off his shoes. He starts to remove his tie, and I can’t help but wonder what else about him might have changed. Like what’s under his shirt.
He motions to the jacket I’m still wearing. “Are you cold? I can turn up the heat.”
I glance down at his jacket and realize I have no excuse for still wearing it. “Oh, no. I’m actually a little warm now that you mention it.”
I slide it off my arms and it drops past my reach to the floor. As I turn in the stool to get it, I fail to notice Nick hurry past me to pick it up, and I accidently knee him in the eye.
I gasp as he stumbles back and grabs his face, bending at the waist.
I leap off the stool and reach out to him. “Oh God, Nick! Are you okay? I’m so sorry.”
He covers his eye with his hand and starts to laugh. “If you wanted to punch me, Ever, you could have at least let me stand up straight and take it like a man.”
I grit my teeth and cover my mouth with my hands in horror. “I’m so sorry. Does it hurt? Let me get you some ice.” I rush into the kitchen and grab a paper towel and ice from the freezer. He attempts to open his eye and look at me, but he squints instead.
I tap my hand on the barstool and he moves toward me. He sits down, and I stand in front of him. His thighs are open, and I fit in between them neatly.
“Let me see it.” He takes a slow breath and removes his hand from his face. I prepare myself for the worst, but I don’t see any immediate bruising. I place my ice-filled hand to his eye and he cringes slightly.
“Can you see?” I ask him worriedly.
“I see you,” he mumbles as he twists his head toward my neck. “You smell amazing.” His hands are resting uncomfortably on his thighs, and he’s pressing his palms into them as if there is somewhere else they’d rather be.
He leans forward slightly, and I reach up to gently rotate the ice into a better position. I place my other hand on the side of his face and scrunch my eyebrows together in apology. “I didn’t see you. I didn’t mean to hit you. You know that, right?”
He smiles. “Are you sure you didn’t knee me to get back at me for being an ass?”
I furrow my brows in concern and he bursts into laughter. “I’m fine, Ever. Don’t worry. Actually, it barely hurts at all. But I’m really enjoying the attention you’re giving me, so feel free to stand as close to me as possible and touch me all you want.”
I remove the ice from his eye and place my hands on my hips. “You’re not hurt? At all?”
He smiles and shrugs. I push his shoulder playfully with my hand and toss the ice on the counter behind him as I roll my eyes. I attempt to turn away, but he pulls me back toward him. He’s no longer squinting. In fact, his eyes are dark and smoldering into mine.
“Don’t go. It’s nice to have you so close to me.”
I brush some of his hair away from his brows. I trail my hand down the side of his face, and his hands leave his thighs and find their way to my hips. I gasp lightly and his eyes rise to mine.
“When I said I missed you, I wasn’t lying,” he whispers.
“I missed you too.” I say it almost on instinct, but it rings true after the words flow out.
He stands, and the space between us closes quickly. His chest is pressed to mine, and my hand falls from his face to his shoulder. I touch the collar of his shirt, and he bends his head to kiss my lips.
The minute they touch mine, a fire blazes inside. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been kissed this passionately, and my body responds whether I want it to or not.
He holds my hip firmly in place against his waist while he slides his right hand up my back and into my hair. He licks my tongue before he gently tugs on my lips with his. It creates a deep need for more, and I shift my arms around his neck. He turns me and lifts me onto the stool as he presses his hips into me, causing my legs to open too widely for a woman in a dress.
The way his body feels against mine… I want more. More of him.
He stops suddenly and inches away from me, leaving me panting and needy.
“Shit! I’m doing it again, aren’t I? What is it about you that makes me lose all sense of reason?” His hands fly to the top of his head, and he backs away slowly in dire confusion.
“What?” I stammer.
“I just promised you I was in no rush, yet the minute you’re close to me I manhan
dle you like a hormonal teenager. I’m so sorry.”
“Did I complain?” I ask as I reach for his arm.
He steps forward and against me and I lean into him. “No… no, you didn’t. But this is exactly how I lost you the last time, and I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You don’t want to lose me?” I question. My heart floods with fear and hope.
He shakes his head and kisses the tip of my nose. “You were never just sex to me. I adored you, and now that we’re together again, I remember why.”
I smile up at him and think that maybe I should admit that I don’t want to lose him either, but there’s a knock on the door. He pulls his wallet from his pocket and pays the delivery guy. He returns with a two-liter of Diet Coke and a very large pizza.
“We can sit at the bar?” he asks as he motions toward it.
“Or the floor. I’m good with the floor.”
He smiles and brings the pizza over to the couch. He heads over to the kitchen and returns with paper plates, a roll of paper towels, and two glasses filled with ice.
I scoot down and rest on my heels, opening the pizza box. The smell makes me groan, and I bring a piece to my lips before he’s able to hand me a plate. He laughs. “You were hungry.”
“This,” I say, motioning to the pizza, “is me.”
He smiles briefly then frowns again.
“I’m sorry I ruined your dinner plans,” I tell him.
“I’m sorry I tried to act like I have my shit together.”
“You do.”
“I really don’t,” he states as he crosses his legs and lifts a piece of pizza to his plate. I reach for a paper towel and he helps me.
“It was a beautiful place. I just didn’t feel like I belonged there.”
He shakes his head. “You belong in the best of everything.”
“Why do you say that stuff?” I ask as I take another large bite of pizza.
“I only took you there because I wanted you to feel as special as you are. You’re beautiful, Ever. You always have been. Inside and out.”
I suddenly feel conscious of my lumpy body, and I lift my plate and head over to the bar.
He follows me and sighs. “What did I say now?”
“It’s not you. You’re sweet and kind and treat me better than I deserve. I’m just not the same girl you think you remember.”
“You seem the same to me.”
I drop my plate on the bar and turn to face him. “I’ve had two kids, Nick. Underneath this dress are stretch marks and a scar from two cesareans. I have way too tight underwear on to hold everything in and enough cellulite to rival the waves in the ocean.”
He twists his head to the side and wipes his mouth with a paper towel as he finishes chewing his last bite. He places his plate on the counter and takes my hands. He positions them on his waist and angles me close to him. My breath hitches, and I stare into him with uncertainty.
“You are beautiful. I don’t care about all that shit. Don’t you understand? When I look at you, I see you. The girl who took my heart at the age of twenty-one and never returned it. I. See. You. You’ll always be you. That’s all I care about.”
I swallow hard at his proximity and then roll my eyes. He laughs and takes a step back to get a better view of my face. “Why are you rolling your eyes at me?”
“Because you’re full of shit.” I turn away from him and lift my slice of pizza from my plate. “If you saw me naked, you wouldn’t be whistling the same tune.” I laugh.
His eyes darken. “When I see you naked, I won’t be whistling anything. I’ll be licking every inch of you.”
My pizza slides out of my hand and falls cheese-first onto the floor.
“Too much too soon?” He laughs as he stares into my eyes, ignoring the pizza.
I stand frozen for a moment, my mouth gaping. My vagina just sat up straight for the first time in years and took attention. I envision her pointing to his pants and telling him to drop them immediately. Instead I stand there in awe.
Nick smiles and bends to pick up my pizza from the floor. He wipes the ground with a paper towel and tosses the piece lazily onto his plate. He takes a step forward and kisses my cheek. “Like I said before… like I meant before… I’m in no rush, Ever. I don’t want you running off on me again. Understand? Can you nod your head, please?” he asks.
I manage a nod, and he heads back to the couch to retrieve a new piece of pizza for me. He returns, and we sit in silence at the bar for a few minutes, enjoying our dinner and Diet Coke.
At a quarter to one, I see him yawn and try to hide it. I remember he’s not used to my late hours. “I should probably go.” I stand to toss my plate in the garbage and rinse out my glass.
“What if I don’t want you to leave?”
“It’s late and you’re tired.” I subconsciously yawn, and he smirks. I realize that I’ve barely slept in the last twenty-four hours. Actually, I never slept at all.
“If you worked until 7 A.M. and then went to Marlow’s game, did you sleep at all?” he asks as if he’s reading my thoughts.
“No, I guess I forgot.” I shrug.
“Well, it’s settled then. You need to go to bed.”
I nod and amble toward the front door. Inside I wish I didn’t have to leave him either.
“Where are you going?” he asks. “The bedroom’s this way.” He motions toward the hall as he places the leftover pizza in the fridge.
“Nick… I…”
“I promise I won’t lay a finger on you. As a matter of fact, I’ll be sleeping on the couch.”
I ponder his words and glance between his door and the couch.
“It’s late, Ever. Just stay with me. I’m not ready to say goodnight just yet.”
I really don’t want to say goodbye yet either. Being with him makes me feel so alive. “Okay.”
His crooked smile returns to his face, and my heart beats a little faster.
“Since I’ve already kissed you a few times, I’m perfectly fine if you use my toothbrush, unless that grosses you out.”
“Just for the record, I kissed you,” I advise.
“In the car, I was about to kiss you, and I would have if you hadn’t moved first, but I definitely initiated the second kiss.”
“Well, I guess we’re tied, then,” I announce as I follow him to the bathroom.
“No, not true. I’m way in the lead.”
“How do you figure?” My hands fly to my hips doubtfully.
That’s easy.” He counts on his fingers. “Your cheek the first night I met you, your parents’ doorstep, the car the next day, your bedroom, the movies, my car… then today on the soccer field. The list is endless.” He snickers.
“I initiated a few of those,” I insist.
“Not nearly enough,” he says with a smile. “Hey, do you need something to sleep in? That doesn’t look very comfortable.”
I glance down at my dress and realize he’s right. Then the fear that I won’t fit into his clothes makes me internally cringe.
“Let me get you one of my t-shirts.”
He darts off to his closet and I run after him.
“No… really, it’s okay. I can sleep in this.”
I follow him into his closet and pause when I see the row of finely tailored suits to my left. “Wow!” I lift my hand and run my fingers along them as he stands near the back, pulling a t-shirt off a hook. “You have a lot of suits.”
“Yeah. I have to wear one every day, so… variety.”
“How about this?” he asks as he brings me a University of Wisconsin t-shirt.
I smile down at it. I’ve worn it before. I glance up and see in his eyes he remembers it too. “I’m not sure it’ll fit anymore,” I mumble.
He shakes his head at me. “I’m double your size, Ever. I’ve worn that shirt a thousand times. It’ll fit. Try it on. Do you want some shorts or maybe a pair of my boxer briefs?”
The idea of wearing his underwear sends a small chill through
my veins. “This is fine,” I manage as I turn and head toward the bathroom.
I slide on his t-shirt and pray it’s not too small. I leave my bra on so he can’t see when I’m cold. It fits me well. Not as loosely as I might like, but it’s enough to cover all my girl parts. I’m a little concerned about the amount of thigh that’s exposed, but I figure I’ll dart into his bed before he notices. I consider using his toothbrush but feel like I’m crossing a line, so I don’t. I squeeze some paste on my finger and quickly rub my teeth. I bend down, gulp some water, and then spit it out. I use the restroom and wonder what possessed me to agree to stay.
I open the door with my dress in front of me to hide my thighs, and he’s pulling the sheets back on the bed. He stops and stares.
“I thought you looked gorgeous in that dress, but damn. You look even more beautiful in my shirt. That shirt has never appealed to me more than when it’s on you.”
I blush and twist my lips into a frown. He shakes his head. “Can’t you just say thank you or I know?” he asks. “You still haven’t learned to take a compliment, and you’re going to have to work on that around me because I fully intend to shower you with every well-deserved one of them.”
“You say that like you’ll be seeing me again.” I laugh playfully.
His jaw clenches, and he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “I’d hoped you would see me again. Is that not on the table? I’d be willing to negotiate. It’s my specialty.”
My head drops, and I realize that in my heart, I somehow doubted this would last more than one night. He senses the shift in me and slowly approaches me.
“What’s going on? What are you thinking?”
“Honestly, I’m thinking this will never work.”
“What do you mean, this?”
I point back and forth between us and he sighs. “Why is that?” he asks sincerely.
“Come on, Nick. Is my world what you’re really going for? I’m a single mom with two kids, a dog, a mortgage, and a new job. I barely have time to brush my teeth, much less see you.”
“You’re here now. Tonight seemed to work.”
“That’s because Kay has the kids.”
“Doesn’t Mike take the kids on soccer days? He said they spend the night three days a week.”
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