I never should have said I loved him. It’s not that I didn’t feel that for him, because I did. It may have been over ten years since I felt that twisty, heart thundering explosion that love for another man does to my body, but I could recognize it the moment it happened.
When he opened up last night, all I wanted to do was resurrect his father so I could punch him in the balls. I wanted to hold Jagger and kiss him and never stop. That’s when I knew.
I stupidly got swept up in that moment, letting my heart spill it all for him. And maybe it helped him get through his grief last night. For that I am glad, but last night isn’t today. What about tomorrow or all the days after?
It’s out there, and I can’t take it back. I can’t unravel my heart and pick out the burgeoning love that thrives in his eyes as they sweep down my body. Or gain strength from his fingers as they curl into mine so I can push him away. And when Jagger says my name, it’s as if I hadn’t realized I wasn’t breathing until that moment.
Just because I felt this way didn’t mean it should happen.
Nothing about this was safe. Even the smallest risk could crack a life in two. My heart may suffer and yes, the guilt of telling him how I felt will eat away at me when I take it all back. But this can’t go on. We can’t go on.
I stepped out of the bathroom and came to a full stop when a pair of green eyes grew wide, darkened, and focused on my chest.
“Jagger. You came back,” I said like an idiot who was naked and only a foot away from a fully clothed man.
The way his gaze swept my body held me captive. I should have turned around and ran back into the bathroom, but I didn’t.
“Yes. I guess I should have called. I went home to change but wanted to return before you woke.”
My nakedness was glaring. But we talked like two normal people where one happened to be without clothing.
“I might not have heard you if you were to call, as I was in the shower.” I nodded and thought putting my hand on my hip would make the situation less awkward.
It didn’t.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
Not at all. I thought I might pass out from the heat traveling up my neck. Worried that any moment I would move my arms and an ocean of sweat would flood the room.
“It’s just that . . .” He stepped closer and brushed his finger across my intensely erect nipple.
I shook my head trying to ward off the flood of pleasure that came from his touch. When I opened my mouth to deny him, what escaped was a mistake. The moan that came out was so wrong.
I shouldn’t be naked. My body needed to stop reacting to his fingers. And I had to start forming words. Words to stop this. Words to end us.
But I couldn’t find them so I moved. My feet inched backward but the man followed.
“And you have goose bumps all over. You must be freezing.” Jagger slipped his hands around my back, pulling me flush against his hard body preventing me from taking another step away from him.
God, everything about him was hard. I wanted to rub myself against all that was firm on him. Especially what was hiding beneath his pants.
No, Tiffany. Stay strong.
Holding up my hands, I tried to push away and I was successful. It felt like a gulf was between us and my spine straightened with the strength I had been seeking. But when I looked down there was barely an inch between us.
I should have kept my head down or turned and ran back into the bathroom. But my feet wouldn’t move. So, I held up my hands to push him away again but this time my fingers curled into his shoulders, pulling him down. When Jagger’s lips slid over mine, any fight I had was gone.
His fingers curled into my hair which made me do the same, but when he groaned, everything changed. I had forgotten why it was so important to stop him, to run away from him. As much as I feared it before, it all melted into a deep want.
But then he stopped. Jagger pulled away. I knew as he closed his eyes taking gulps of air, he was warring with himself, just as I had in the bathroom.
“I came back here to tell you something. And before this can go any further, I need to let it out.” His eyes opened and reality began to fall back into place.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me last night.”
“Jagger, you were in pain and I wanted to help you. Don’t worry about—”
“No.” He cupped my head and with a deep breath he continued, “I was in love.”
Tears were prickling at the corner of my eyes, and I didn’t know whether to push my lips back onto his or run back into the bathroom and lock the door.
“I had been falling for you from the first moment I met you, back in Vegas. Maybe that’s why I didn’t immediately track you down and get a divorce. The way you looked at me . . . it was different.”
He stood a little taller and swallowed. “I wasn’t the relationship type, and maybe women could sense that because I never had trouble finding a woman who wanted anything more from me than sex. And then you took my hand and we danced and you proposed.”
He chuckled before continuing, “And I wanted that. I think I was lonely at first but the more we talked, the more you wanted me. I told you my real name that night. I even mentioned a few things about my father. But nothing I said stopped you from gazing at me as if you only wanted to know even more about me. You saw me as fascinating, and I saw you as the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
“Please, whatever happens, know that I love you,” he said.
“I do. I love you,” I whispered kissing his cheeks and his neck and pulling at his shirt.
It didn’t take long for him to take his clothes off but it felt like forever. His fingers slipped between my legs after he pushed me back onto the bed and I wondered why we hadn’t done this the moment I walked out of the bathroom.
When his head slipped down until I could only see his shaggy brown hair, I gasped and prayed David was sound asleep. My mouth was going to wake him, I knew it. I pressed my teeth onto my fist, fighting Jagger’s tongue. That was his secret weapon.
That tongue, when it slipped and flicked my clit, while his fingers pumped into me, it had to be magic. Because I came. Was it seconds or minutes? I had no idea because time seemed to melt over on itself.
“I need you,” I said as I sat up and pulled his arm.
He grabbed his jeans and managed to find a condom. But he was taking too long. I pushed him back and ripped that foil apart like a pro, even though it had been a long time since I opened one.
When I rolled the latex over his dripping cock, I pushed my legs to either side of him, ready to mount. Jagger’s nails, as they gripped my hips, felt sharp and needy. I slowly eased my way onto him—rocking back and forth, inch by desperate inch.
Until I was lost. The sounds of grunts and skin slapping filled the air and I wondered if anything sounded sweeter. He captured my nipple in his mouth as I leaned forward. I thought it was all I needed until that sneaky spy slipped his finger down to brush my clit.
Over and over, his tongue, his finger, his thick cock. I was chasing some body-tingling wave and Jagger was helping.
He was really good at helping.
“I’m going to come,” Jagger said as he released my breast.
His finger faltered so I replaced it with my own. I watched him come undone as I let my climax roll over me. Jagger cursed his undoing, and I begged for only him.
I collapsed on top of him, our bodies slippery and spent.
Even as he was regaining his breath and I could still feel the tremors between my legs, he pulled me to the side, turning to kiss me. The kisses were lazy but bursting with serenity.
“I’m glad you came back.” My voice rough as I traced my fingers over his damp chest.
“I’m glad I married you,” he said.
My lips curled. “Well, now that I know you, I’m glad I married you too.”
He could hear the hesitation in my voice.
“Tiffany, you know I won’t ever
let anything happen to you or your son. I’m afraid you are stuck with the most well-trained ninja at your side for as long as you’ll have me.”
He was right. Anything could happen to David or me. That was glaringly obvious when a week and a half ago someone attacked me in broad daylight. Jagger saved me. He stopped the guy so he couldn’t hurt anyone else.
I wanted a man that could protect my son, and well, it looks like I got my wish.
“Is that a promise?” I asked bringing my finger to his lips.
“It’s more than a promise. It’s a fact.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
Jagger
Tiffany was beautiful when she had a bit of beef sliding down her chin.
“Is it there?” She pointed to the opposite side of her chin where no beef could be found.
“No, maybe I should lick it off. Seems a waste to wipe away perfectly good steak,” I said dabbing my white cloth napkin to the corner of my mouth.
Her eyes widened as she glanced around the restaurant. We sat at the end of a long table. Next to us was Henrik’s cousin and his wife. His wife leaned over to Tiffany.
“He does have a point. This meat is tender.” The woman with the long black hair winked at Tiffany.
“Jos, maybe you let her decide,” her husband said shaking his head.
“Pierce, I’m just helping with their problem. And the food is really good. When we visit Chicago in the future, we’ll have to come back here.”
The steak suffered the most in all this as Tiffany tackled it with a napkin to her chin.
“There, it’s gone. Problem solved.” Tiffany turned slightly in her chair, giving Jos more of her back.
And what a beautiful back it was. Creamy, and having licked it earlier today, I knew it was the perfect mix of sweet and salty.
Tiffany’s jade dress was almost backless, giving everyone a view of her flawless skin.
“You’re beautiful.” I put my elbow on the table and rested my chin on my hand gazing over at her.
“The meat is now on your cheek,” Jos said pointing to her own cheek for location.
“Excuse me.” Tiffany got up and walked toward the restrooms in the back while cupping her cheek.
I watched her hips twist as she danced around the tables on her way toward the back.
“She’s so graceful,” I said.
“You’re a lucky man,” Jos said.
I smiled at the woman. “I am.”
They seemed nice. We had talked earlier just before the food was served at the rehearsal dinner. Me, along with Alex, managed to find a restaurant in Humboldt Park. Alex arranged to close the restaurant for the night, and I scoped out the place until I was sure it was safe.
I glanced over at the table close to the door, where David sat with some little kids. One being Pierce and Jos’s little boy. I thought David wouldn’t want to hang with small kids, but he’s having fun making them laugh.
It felt like for the first time in my life everything was falling into place. Even the white lie I told Tiffany this morning was for a surprise I wanted to show her on Monday.
I told her I went home to change, which was true, but I also had a meeting to sign a lease for a building I’m renting. It’s perfect. There are two floors. The bottom floor has a large window facing the street which can be used for my ninja gym, and the top floor is a small two-bedroom apartment.
When I asked her to move in with me, I meant it. Even though we haven’t known each other long, I can’t imagine not being with Tiffany.
My phone vibrated in my pants pocket. Lifting it, I noticed it was from Tenn.
“Hey, Tenn. Any news on Emma?”
“I’m outside,” he said.
“What?”
“The restaurant. I’m in the alley next to the restaurant you’re in,” he said.
How did he know I was here? Then I remembered that he still worked for ITA. I’m sure I was being followed from the moment I left that job.
“I’ll be right there.”
I ended the call, shoved the phone back into my pocket, and made my way toward the front door. As I passed one of the tables, I felt something sharp dig into my ass. Turning, I noticed Morgana’s grandmother smirk at me.
“I had to check to see if the buns were warm.” She winked.
The only reason the woman was getting away with that was because she’s related to the bride.
I picked up my pace to get to Tenn quickly and away from lecherous hands. He was just on the other side of the building, leaning against the brick.
“She’s here,” Tenn said.
I turned around in a circle taking in our surroundings. “Where?”
“No, in the city. I thought Emma would have left Chicago. I’m surprised she didn’t leave the country, but she’s here.”
“Why would she stay here?”
Tenn’s jaw tightened.
“What aren’t you telling me, Tenn?”
My throat tensed, my hands fisted, and I knew what Tenn was about to share wasn’t going to put a smile on my face.
“She mentioned, when I asked her a few questions last week, something about a wedding. I thought she was talking about how she tried to force her son to marry that the Dorton woman. But, I think she might be talking about Payne’s wedding.” He pointed at the brick wall that separated us from the rehearsal dinner party inside.
Rubbing my forehead, I fought like hell to stop myself from punching that brick wall. Because that would be stupid, not to mention it would require a trip to the emergency room. But I felt like being stupid. I wanted to run around the city like a madman and search every crevasse for the deranged Emma Hawthorne.
“The venue will have to be changed,” I said as I lowered my hands and leaned against the wall.
“Can you make that happen in such a short period of time?” Tenn crossed his arms, challenging me.
I may be a disgraced ex-agent, but I could still help take down a wanted criminal.
“Of course. I’ll go back inside and get Henrik. He may not like this, but I don’t think he would want to endanger his guests. It’s either that or cancel the wedding.”
My heart hammered in my ears, and I tried to suppress the bubbling excitement from showing on my face as I asked Henrik to follow me outside. This felt like old times. Perhaps I gave up the spy thing too easily. Maybe walking away from it for a short time was just what I needed.
“Where are you two going?” I heard Tiffany’s voice from behind me.
Turning, I remembered why I wanted to stay away from the government. The one thing that was always missing from my life and made each day harder to do without was love.
I was lost in a sea of adventure. That can be dazzling although it can’t last. But Tiffany? She would always be in my heart.
“I need to discuss the wedding tomorrow with Henrik, outside,” I said and turned to go.
It wasn’t until we were on the sidewalk that I realized Tiffany had followed me.
“I need to discuss this alone with Henrik.”
Totally ignoring me, Tiffany pointed at Tenn. “Who’s that?”
“My old partner. He has news about Emma. I’m afraid we need to discuss this—” I threw my arms in the air as I wondered why I even bothered to open my mouth.
Tiffany walked around me and stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Tiffany.”
“Hello, Tiffany. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tenn. I used to work with Jagger.”
She nodded and glanced at me for a second before turning back to Tenn. “Did you know about what he did? About the whole,” she made a circular motion with her finger, “at my place.”
Tenn’s eyes flickered to me before gazing down at the ground. Did he know what she was talking about? Because I didn’t.
“Yes, but I told him to get rid of the listening devices at your place. And, as I told Jagger, I didn’t tell our boss that he spied on you. Someone else must have said something,” Tenn said with a glimmer of something in his eyes.
&nb
sp; Did he think he was helping with that? Because he wasn’t.
My eyes widened and it was like slow motion. I tried to reach out for Tiffany and tell Tenn to shut up, but my body was too slow for me.
“Spy on me?” Tiffany turned, and it was painful to see the hurt and confusion that filled her eyes. “You actually planted spy equipment inside my apartment?”
“Oh, shit,” Tenn said.
Oh, shit was right. When I was done groveling to Tiffany, I was going to kill Tenn.
I waved my hands around. “It was my fault.”
“Damn right it was your fault.” She pushed her hands onto her hips. “You’re a flippin’ spy for gosh darn sake. Even I know it’s against the law to spy on someone without a warrant. Or, did you get that? Maybe made up another lie. Something about me being a bad mother and you needed to make sure I wasn’t spreading my terrible parenting skills to the rest of the country.”
“You are not a terrible mother.” I took a deep breath as I prepared to put myself in a position to get thrown in jail. “And, no, I didn’t have a warrant. What I did was completely illegal.”
She stepped closer to me, and I could see the tears stream down her face like I had turned on a faucet that might never shut off. “I trusted you. Was that all a lie? Did you tell me those things because you heard me talk about how I wanted someone to love my son and me? That I wanted a man I would feel safe with. Did you spy on me to get that information and use it to have sex with me?”
“What?” Henrik said.
“No, Tiffany.” I gazed around to see one man with guilt in his eyes and another with venom. “Can we go somewhere to discuss this in private?”
“Are you kidding me?” Tiffany said with an octave that could shatter glass. “I don’t ever want to be alone with you again. How can I trust you? Don’t come near me again.”
My heart felt like a million knives were slicing away—sliver by agonizing sliver—as I watched the woman I love walk away. She stopped just before she turned out of the alley, gazing back with thunder in her eyes.
“I made a mistake with you. A scary mistake that once this divorce comes through, I will never repeat again.” Within a second, she was gone.
The Spy Ring (Cake Love Book 4) Page 17