by Aurora Smith
“And I lied to you when you asked me, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know.”
“You didn’t want me to know because you knew it was wrong!?” I half asked, half accusing. She didn’t answer me, she just looked very sad.
“I’m sorry. My dad was actually with me and he’s been trying to hone my skills, I’m supposed to be taking over for him soon and somehow we ended up in your brain.”
“Should I be flattered? Out of all the people you could have been scaring and you chose me.” She shrugged and I thought that maybe that was a yes.
“Never mind that now. Can I invite you this time?” A rustling noise interrupted our private conversation and we both shifted from one another’s faces to inspect. The bushes that stood next to us, on the right, were moving.
“Is this the part where I get freaked out and jump in your arms for safety and a squirrel comes out instead of a horrifying monster, right?” Maya looked worried.
“Are there monsters here?” I asked.
“Besides Ashley? Not really?”
“Can’t you tell if it’s a person or not? With your sleepy powers?”
“What does this have to do with nightmares?”
“I’m sure I don’t know.” I rolled my eyes but realized too late that I was being rude, which was a nasty habit I had. Apparently being smart makes you rude and inconsiderate. Or so I’ve been told.
“You could just tell me what happened that night, if you’d rather?” Maya said, getting bored with the bush that was clearly not going anywhere but trying very hard to. She was looking up at me again, her entire face looking soft and welcoming and I wondered if she would let me kiss her again. Being a man of sever logic I was feeling ashamed for being caught up in a hormone driven moment although I wanted to act on it nonetheless. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly then brought it up to my lips.
“Maya, je peux t’embrasser?” I whispered and bent down to her lips, forgetting about my current appearance, only caring about her being next to me, finally being honest.
“I have no idea what you just said to me.” Her voice was low but I could tell that she was happy.
“I asked if I could kiss you again.” I said, inches from her lips.
“Oh,” She breathed a warm laugh and allowed me to, once again, put my lips on hers. She was even gentler this time but more sure of herself. After a few moments a squeal came from her mouth and she pulled back from me. I followed her face down to the ground where a small white rabbit was standing, nuzzling its nose on her calves.
“Fred?” She bent down and picked the bunny up and her face fell. “This is a dream?” she said, looking sad. “This is just a dream. I never even got up this morning.” She turned around and started walking down a random trail, acting like I wasn’t there, like we weren’t just in the middle of another kiss.
“Maya?” I stretched my legs out to their full length to try and catch up to her as she scampered away with her little ones. “What’s going on? Who’s Fred?”
“DAD!” She was yelling into the trees now.
“Do you think that you’re dreaming right now?” I asked, feeling like this was the only explanation I could give for the way she was acting. She ignored me. “Maya!” I yelled at her which made her stop. I bumped into her but she was surprisingly steady.
“This is not funny!” Was all she said then took off again.
“I’m sincerely confused. What does this rabbit have to do with you believing that you’re dreaming?” I asked.
“When I was a little girl, maybe six years old, I had a dream about this killer plant and it had blood dripping from its teeth and this disgusting, long red tongue and it was trying to eat me! It scared me so badly that I created Fred,” she held up the white rabbit and shook it in my face. “Whenever I’m afraid I see if Fred is around then I know it’s a dream.
“But I’m not dreaming, so you’re not dreaming.” I said.
“Oh, please. I’m a nightmare; don’t you think I know a dream when I’m in one?” she yelled.
“Ummm…” I didn’t know what to say. I would think that she would know the difference, so maybe I was dreaming, but that seemed unlikely. These swollen bruises that kept getting larger didn’t feel like they were just in my head. “Then make something scary happen.” I said. If what she was saying was real and I was dreaming then I was going to wake up very depressed. But there was no way that a kiss like that had been dreamt up, not even my subconscious could conjure that.
“Fine.” She looked around and yelled, “Dad, are you watching?” and looked at me with squinted eyes but nothing happened. She huffed then looked at me even harder.
“Is something supposed to be happening?” I asked, looking around to see if I’d missed something. She looked confused and then threw the rabbit in the air. It flopped to the ground and gave a squeak.
“Crap! I just threw a rabbit!” She bent down to aid the animal she just harmed but it took off, kicking dirt and leaves up as it ran.
“GOT YOU!” Out of the trees came Magnus, Christina and Vanessa all laughing and pointing at Maya who was ashen white.
“You used the bunny thing to make me think that I was dreaming?” She asked her group of friends, Magnus in particular who was so joyful he was clapping his hands like a dainty girl.
“I told you to watch your back!” Magnus said.
“And you helped him?” She asked her beautiful Siren friend who’s usually put together face was broken with a million smile lines.
“It was too good, I had to.”
I would have been very upset at my friends for pulling such a prank on me but she started laughing along with them, her hands clutched the sides of her stomach and she bent over. I chuckled, unable to handle all of the humor that was floating around without joining in.
“So were you guys watching us?” I asked them. They fell silent, except for Maya who was still giggling.
“Sorry, man. We didn’t expect her to be with anyone, but it was too perfect.” Magnus looked slightly worried and did a little side step. I might be scarred and burnt to a crisp but I was still very big and muscular and could wipe the entire forest with him.
“Kiss him again!” Vanessa the Vampire was now chanting at us.
“Yes!” Christina looked pleased and I felt a wave of pride that Maya’s best friend approved.
“You think he deserves another kiss?” She was looking at me when she spoke and I felt a spark light in my stomach. She smiled and walked over to me and dragged me down to her level by the collar of my shirt and planted a quick kiss on my lips, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
***
I could, once again, feel the darkness of a dream closing in around me. Maya must have gotten tired of waiting for me to fall asleep and decided to take matters into her own hands. I knew better than to fight this feeling and let it sweep over me, but I continued to argue with myself about whether or not I was going to be completely honest with her and that’s what had been keeping me up.
“Hey.” I heard Maya’s voice and I could feel my real face smile; this must have been what people who sleep walked felt like.
“Bonjour, Maya,” I said as she came into focus, her face going from blurry to sharp to suddenly out of focus again. I turned my head away from her, trying not to ogle her because I knew I would just embarrass myself by saying something stupid. She was there, but one of my questions had just been answered; this was completely in our minds, we weren’t somehow being transported to dream land. She stood in front of me with a pair of tight, hip hugging jeans on and a green tank top that I’m certain didn’t fit like that in real life. Her usually skinny body was suddenly curvier and her hair was blond and longer. I didn’t know what to say but it seemed strange to ignore it.
“Hi,” she said and her smile looked the same, she couldn’t change that, I don’t know why she would want to.
“Is there a reason you look so different?” I asked. This didn’t seem logical, why would she want to chang
e herself?
“Oh-a- do I look different?” She sounded embarrassed and I realized maybe I should have just ignored it, but I couldn’t now.
“Yes.” I pointed to her chest and she slapped my finger.
“It’s my dream, I can do whatever I want.” She crossed her arms but smiled at me and they got bigger.
“Have mercy, woman. But can we both do that?” I asked.
“This is also your dream, so I suppose you could.” Excitement shivered though me and I closed my eyes and smiled. When I opened them Mayas eyes were big and she looked apprehensive. I turned around and imagined a mirror hanging from a tree behind me and it appeared like I wanted it to. Standing in front of me was my former face; its perfect smooth skin looked alive and soft. My golden hair and its curls were lying lazily on my head just like they used to. Behind me, reflected in the mirror was Maya, her head to the side as she looked at me. She grabbed my hand and turned me around so I was looking at her.
“You look different than Justin.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t know how. He is an exact replica of me.” I gave her a smile that I hadn’t given to anyone is a long time, a smile filled with confidence and I marveled in the beauty I could see she was seeing.
“Maybe it’s the way you hold your face,” she said. I didn’t know what that meant so I ignored it. “So, what would you like to do?”
“I say forget the dream and let’s have some fun.” I got ahold of her hand and brought her to me and bent down to kiss her but her face wasn’t there like I had expected.
“Ok, Romeo, you’re going to get slapped.” She was ten feet away from me and her hands were on her regular sized hips.
“What? Doesn’t this seem like the perfect situation? Nothing can happen to us here, we could spend some…time together.” I walked towards her, loving how good it felt to know how beautiful I looked, knowing that she had been attracted to Justin and how happy she must have been to see me look the way I used to look. I reached her and bent her over and kissed her passionately, my hands going wherever they pleased.
I woke up suddenly my hands in midair and my arms empty. My hands flew to my face and the wrinkled skin stung my palms and my bald head felt heavy. I tried to go back to sleep quickly but my growing anxiety kept me awake. After a few hours when I did fall asleep, Maya was nowhere to be found.
I spent all night searching for Maya but could only find mirrors and the face that looked at me was that of a broken man, wrinkled, burned and sad.
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning I hurried down to the cafeteria so that I could talk to Maya about last night. I was completely baffled by the way she had snuffed me out and then haunted my dreams without showing herself. I had a mind to be upset at her, but I was more interested in whether or not I had offended her in any way. Which I thought was crazy because she had shown me just hours earlier that she could handle a joke. Didn’t her best friend just give information to Magnus about a silly rabbit that Maya used in dreams to remind herself she was in a dream? She thought that was funny, while I would have been upset.
She was already at her solidary table that Mr. Torricelli had put her in, but she wasn’t eating anything, just moving eggs around on her plate while that ridiculous bird flew around her table protectively. Once our eyes met she looked down, dropped her fork with a clang and crossed her arms defensively.
“Maya, what is wrong with you?” I didn’t have time for pretense.
“Me? What is wrong with me? Nothing is wrong with me, Mr. Feels a Lot!” She glared at me.
“Mr…what?”
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what’s going on. You get pretty again for one second and your hands are all over me?” She was speaking much louder than I would have liked so I hushed her, which made her really mad. A turkey type noise came from her throat.
“You’re mad about that? It wasn’t real, it was just in our minds.”
“I’ve spent half my life in that place; don’t tell me it’s not real. It’s more real than what everyone walks around pretending to do.”
“Eh bein who started it, with their cancer du sein that they were putting in my face, how was I supposed to know that you didn’t want me doing that when you make yourself different like that?” I was getting upset now and only half noticed that French began to mingle with my words.
“Well…I didn’t, I mean-that’s different. I just.” She stopped her stammering and loosened her arms just a little bit.
“How is it different? And besides that, you kissed me earlier when I looked like this.” I pointed to my face, feeling the disgust wash down on me. “Why should I think you wouldn’t want to kiss me while I look like Justin?”
“It’s not about that. I didn’t care that you changed the way you looked, or that you kissed me again, it’s that you felt it was ok to touch me like you did. I don’t know you very well to be letting you get all handsy.”
“So you didn’t like the hands, I understand that,” I said, letting my carefully controlled temper loose. “But instead of telling me that, you haunt me all night? You don’t speak to me or tell me how you feel?” This silenced her but put her body on the defense again. She didn’t answer me for a few moments. I waited patiently but became angrier when she didn’t answer so I turned around to walk back to my own little table that had cold eggs on them. The second my butt hit the seat Justin was in my ear buzzing away. I wanted to punch his face.
“What’s going on? Why is she yelling at you? What did you do to her?”
“Tais-toi et s’en aller”
“I will not shut up and go away. Tell me!”
“It’s none of your bees-wax!” Maya was behind my brother now and I felt my head begin to throb. I needed a good night’s sleep.
“Bees-wax? What is bees-wax?” Justin asked her and even though it was a fair question I wasn’t interested in talking to these two anymore.
“Nevmind. Go away, I want to talk to Liam.” She had humor on her face but I didn’t think Justin noticed. He stomped away from us and sat down amongst his girl fans in the group he had been assigned. I looked up at her with my arms crossed this time; it was my turn to be mad.
“I think that maybe I have overreacted,” she said.
“Maybe?”
“Well, you have to admit that you did turn into a jerk once you saw that your face changed,” she snapped.
“How was I supposed to know that you would turn out to be a big prude? You changed your hair and your body. You didn’t look at all like you!”
“I don’t know if I’m a prude…I’ve never had the chance to find out if I was or not,” she admitted and I saw her cheeks flush.
“I’m sorry I touched you like that without permission,” I said and tried to smile at her although I felt like a jerk.
“I’m sorry I flaunted fake whatever you said in French at you….and then gave you nightmares all night.”
“That was messed up,” I said still feeling perturbed about that.
“I know. I’m sorry. I really am. How can I make it up to you?” she asked, her round face looked longingly for an answer.
“Kiss me. In front of everyone,” I said knowing full well that she wouldn’t do that. She had already proved herself to be discreet.
“Right here? Right now?” She looked around the room; no one was paying much attention to us. Ashley was giving us dirty looks, I think, her face now had fangs, so you never know.
“Right now.” I said and Maya looked around again, shrugged then reached over my disgusting breakfast and grabbed my face, planting a big, closed mouthed kiss right on my lips.
“How about we try again tonight. I really do want to know what happened,” she said. Her words made me realize that I wasn’t breathing, I sucked in and nodded. This girl was a little crazy. Not Justin crazy, but doesn’t care what people think and does whatever she wants kind of crazy. She was actually awesome. She was pretty much the exact opposite of Sheila; her body, personality and the wa
y she spoke were different. It could have been the French vs. English humor that I was still at a loss with. Sheila never would have admitted that she had done something wrong, not in a million years.
“Sure, sounds good. No big boobs though. You just look like you, I like the way you look,” I said.
“Thank you, should I have my freakishly black hair out this time?”
“Do whatever you like with your hair, but don’t change your body. I like it.”
“Can I say the same thing to you?” She asked and I raised my eyes to her, not knowing if she was kidding or being sick.
“No. This is not how I really look.” I shook my head at her. She didn’t answer but shrugged her shoulders and walked back to her little table and finished her breakfast. She looked cheerful again but I felt like my stomach was burning up.
How much longer was this camp? Eight more weeks? Maybe I should just give Ashley this antidote and just be done with it.
No, I wasn’t going to do that.
***
“Tell me why she was yelling at you?” My brother was in my room, lying on my bed, and had decided to try the friendly family route to try and get some information out of me.
“I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s talk about you. What’s up with you and your temper these days?” I asked as I folded my clothes and put them away. I had finally decided to wash some shirts, which was not correlated to that purple haired girl that kissed me unashamedly in front of the entire camp.
“I don’t know.” Justin closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head that was on my pillow. His strong arms that he had gotten from me were tan and his blond hair looked messy. I missed my hair, I missed it a lot. The stress from the fire however had left me completely hairless. On every single inch of my body. I looked like one of those hairless cats. Wrinkled and pink. Justin had come to me after lunch and was trying very hard to be my friend again and of course I forgave him for beating me up. No one else in the camp would understand the sibling bond; the idea of getting beat up one minute and hugging the next went over their heads. I hated being on this end however. Being the one who had been beaten up and doing the forgiving. Not because I wanted to be the one to beat Justin up I just didn’t like the feeling of understanding how someone felt when I had done it to them. It has taken me two years to forgive myself for being such a bastard and I didn’t like being reminded.