The Sense of an Elephant
Marco Missiroli
The Sense of an Elephant
Translated from the Italian by Stephen Twilley
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First published in the United Kingdom 2015 by Picador an imprint of Pan Macmillan Ltd, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited
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ISBN 978-1-4472-4194-2
Copyright © 2012 by Marco Missiroli
English translation © 2015 by Stephen Twilley
Originally published in Italy 2012 as Il Senso dell’Elefante by Ugo Guanda Editore, Parma
The right of Marco Missiroli to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, organizations and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places, organizations or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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To Sauro Missiroli and Fiorella Vandi
Thank You
If someone is to be born, that person will not be blank, but a moral being, a subject of value – not of integration.
Roland Barthes
Only now is the child finally divested of all that he has been.
Cormac McCarthy
There was a man, things for this man were going so-so, the Flood came and he was on the roof of his house so he wouldn’t drown, he asks God with all his faith to be saved and in his heart he knows that God will save him.
A boat comes, the man refuses it because he’s certain that the Lord will come to save him, so he says No, thank you. Meanwhile the water is rising, another boat comes but he’s waiting for God. Meanwhile the water has reached his throat, a third boat passes, No, thanks. So then he drowns.
When he arrives in Heaven and finally sees the Lord, he says to him, You promised to save me! God looks at him, says, Hold on now, I sent you three boats, what else do you want from me?
1
The concierge’s lodge was a clean, orderly space, furnished with a fake wood table and two wicker chairs. Beside the lodge window were pigeonholes for the post and a shelf with a battered radio and a telephone. On another wall hung a pen-and-ink rendering of Milan Cathedral above an empty nail. The table’s single drawer contained a square of cardboard with a suction cap and the message ‘Back soon’. A folding door led behind to a tiny flat composed of a bedroom and a combined living area and kitchen. In addition to polishing every square inch of the floor, its previous occupant had left behind a packet of coffee and a virtually new stovetop percolator, a half-full bottle of olive oil and a bottle of body wash for sensitive skin. Also remaining were ten hooks in the bedroom wall, on each a copy of a set of keys to a flat above.
Pietro had not so much as touched the keys since be coming the new concierge a month earlier. He did so that afternoon, approaching one of the hooks and lifting off the keys to the Martini family’s flat. Luca Martini, a doctor, and his wife, Viola, had gone to pick up their daughter from nursery school. He slipped the keys into a pocket and returned to the windowless bathroom to rinse out the cleaning cloth, then tossed it in a plastic bucket, poured in two capfuls of detergent and filled the bucket with water. Staggered with the weight as far as the entrance hall, where the stairs began. He wrung out the cloth, wiped down a step and scrambled up to the next, climbing backwards like a half-dismembered spider. He would wipe with one hand and support himself with the other, then lean on the cloth hand and pull the bucket up. Upon reaching the first floor he picked up the doormats of the three flats and continued immediately on to the second, where he stopped. Starting from the lawyer Poppi’s door he lifted the doormat with ‘Abandon all hope’ in Gothic script, cleaned and moved on to the Martinis’ mat. Rolled it aside and diligently wiped a grease stain from the marble. He stood. The door handle was covered with fingermarks. He used a handkerchief to remove them, returned it to his pocket and felt the metal scratch his palm. Pulled out the keys, inserted them in their respective keyholes and opened the door.
He entered with his eyes closed and took half a step further. Took another step and looked: out of the gloom appeared a hall stand with three dark overcoats and Sara’s ladybird umbrella. The parquet squeaked. The entryway’s single shelf held two framed photographs and a basket of old , knick-knacks. One of the pictures was of Dr Martini as a little boy pretending to drive a parked Vespa. He looked straight over the handlebars, his mouth serious. The concierge picked up the picture, caressed the child’s head and the hand gripping the accelerator. Brought the image closer, caressed it again, squeezed the frame till he trembled. Put it back and stared at the basket of knick-knacks. On top were an inkwell, a frog paperweight, a bicycle bell. He took the bell in his hand and wiped the top with a shirtsleeve. It was rusty and its lever worn. He turned it over. It didn’t weigh much. He backed up with the bell in his palm and withdrew from the Martinis’ flat.
‘Pietro.’
He spun round.
‘Mr Poppi.’
The concierge picked up the cloth and hid the bell inside it. Water dripped onto his shoes.
‘I’ve nearly finished cleaning.’
‘Inside and out, I see.’ The lawyer abruptly doffed his hat. His shiny head shone. ‘Kibitzer, as the Jews say: busybody.’ He swung his walking stick in a small arc, raised an eyebrow.
Pietro, his face reddening, lightly tossed the cloth back into the bucket.
‘Accept my invitation, friend,’ said the lawyer. ‘Stop cleaning so thoroughly and come with me to the cafe on the corner – now. I’ll treat you to a cappuccino you won’t forget.’
‘I still have two floors to do.’
‘Trust me.’ The lawyer opened his front door and stepped in, picked up a raincoat from the arm of a sofa and shook it out before putting it on. Pointed to the flat next to the Martinis’. ‘Our Fernando is about to declare himself. To miss it would be a big mistake.’
The concierge indicated his bucket.
‘It’s your loss, kibitzer.’ He turned on his heel and started down the stairs.
Pietro waited until the lawyer reached the entrance hall then went to the last door on the floor, behind which lived the strange boy Fernando. Lifted the mat, cleaned and returned downstairs without stopping. Slipped into the lodge and headed straight for the tiny flat, still in disarray since his arrival. He had bought a bed and placed it below the living area’s small window. A projecting wall divided the area from the kitchenette, three wall cupboards
and a table with a plastic flower-pattern tablecloth, a buzzing refrigerator. A row of plants stood in the only sliver of space here struck by natural light. Beside them he had piled bags of clothes and his bicycle, a nearly forty-year-old Bianchi with flat handlebars, which salty air had stripped of much of its paint.
He went into the bathroom and retrieved the rag from the bucket, unrolled it one edge at a time over the sink. Cradled the bell in his fist, dried it carefully as he went into the bedroom, a mostly empty chamber with a porthole window that looked out onto the courtyard. Hung up the Martinis’ keys on their hook. Below the hooks, indistinct in the half-light, were a lamp and an open suitcase with boxes inside. Long and thin boxes, boxes with worn corners. From a cylinder-shaped box he drew out an envelope bearing a stamp dedicated to Emilio Salgari and containing a photograph and a letter on rice paper. Though he knew the contents of the letter by heart, he read it as if for the first time, and like the first time he did not breathe until he reached the end. The concierge put everything back, added the bell, and before leaving for the cafe gazed for a moment on his past.
The young priest saw her on a September morning that year as well, and that year as well the girl gazed up at his window as she rode by on her bicycle with the straw basket. She wore a sailor suit and rang her bell, brring-brring, not a bit embarrassed that it caused people in front of the church to turn round. From between the shutters he returned her gaze and closed his eyes. When he reopened them she was on the ground and the bicycle on top of her, screaming I killed it, I didn’t see it, I killed the cat.
The young priest ran down into the street, slipped through the crowd around the girl. Went to her. She was holding her stomach but would not take her eyes off the cat.
‘It’s the priest’s, it’s dead,’ someone said.
‘The only ones who kill cats are witches and the scourges of God,’ someone else said, in dialect.
The witch continued to say, ‘I killed it, I didn’t see it, I killed it.’ Stopped only when she noticed him, his black habit standing out against the other people gathered around.
‘Father, I killed it.’
The young priest leaned toward the cat and caressed its head. Then he grasped the bicycle and pulled it upright, without speaking. Rang the rusty bell, once.
2
The cafe was located on a corner opposite the condominium, across a cobbled street furrowed with the rails of two tram lines. There was little room inside, a few 1930s tables surrounded by assorted chairs and a whiff of cream, the walls covered with old film posters. Velvet lamps hung from the ceiling. The lawyer was seated in a blue armchair and reading a newspaper. He raised his eyes and saw the concierge. On the wall behind him was a black-and-white Anita Ekberg in the Trevi Fountain. Across the table sat Fernando and his mother, a petite woman smelling of hairspray. Her slim legs sprouted from a puff skirt. When Pietro entered she spun round in her seat.
‘What a pleasant surprise!’ She came forward to meet him, her wrinkled face framed by a perm. ‘Please have a seat.’ She pointed to the chair next to her.
The lawyer folded his newspaper and cleared his throat.
‘So then, Pietro, in the end I convinced you! Welcome. In my capacity as condominium administrator, please allow me to introduce you to our Fernando and his mother, the charming Paola. Second floor, cherrywood door, next to the Martinis.’
Fernando kept his back turned, a felt beret pulled low on his head, his elbows planted either side of an empty cup. Stared at the black-haired barista behind the counter. Pietro greeted the boy, who grunted in reply. The first time he ever saw him, the day of his arrival at the condominium, he had been clinging to his mother’s skirts as he repeated, ‘I don’t want to go to work, I want to stay with you.’ He wore small round spectacles. He was twenty years old but also eighty.
‘Fernando, say hello to Pietro.’ His mother shook his shoulder and he brushed her hand away.
‘He’s in love and can’t make up his mind to come out with it,’ said the lawyer Poppi, rubbing his hands together. ‘Dear Pietro, can I offer you a cappuccino with a sprinkle of cinnamon?’
‘I’ll have an espresso, thank you.’
‘The specialty here is cappuccino with cinnamon. Alice makes them like no one else. Please try one.’
‘That will be enough, Mr Poppi.’ Fernando’s mother fingered the string of pearls at her neck. ‘How are you finding it with us, Pietro? Have you settled in?’
The concierge nodded.
The barista came toward them. She wore a fringe and the top two buttons of her shirt undone. She smiled at Pietro. ‘Can I get you something?’
The lawyer elbowed him.
‘A cappuccino,’ said Pietro.
Fernando raised his head. His face was broad, his smooth cheeks inflamed.
‘One cappuccino. Anything else, sir?’
‘Yes,’ the lawyer replied for him. ‘On top of the cappuccino for my friend Pietro, could you draw’ – he raised his voice – ‘a cinnamon heart as only you, Alice, can?’
Paola turned toward her son. Fernando had straightened up and sat poised on his seat. Then mumbled something incomprehensible and sank down limply on the table.
His mother stroked his face. ‘Do you want to go home, Fernandello?’ Stroked his face again. ‘I’m taking you home.’
The lawyer smothered a laugh behind a handkerchief. ‘He thinks she makes the heart in the cappuccino foam just for him.’
Paola turned back to them. ‘You’ll pay for this, Poppi, you cruel, cruel man.’
The lawyer winked and stood. He left two notes under the plate, kissed Fernando on the neck and walked out.
‘He does things like that, but he’s a good person,’ said Paola, fussing with her wedding ring. ‘It’s only thanks to him that we received …’ she whispered, ‘the compensation.’
Pietro frowned.
‘It’s been five years now since my Gianfranco died. Seems like an eternity. He worked with asbestos for decades. If it hadn’t been for Poppi, we wouldn’t have seen a single cent.’ She sighed. ‘We are widow and widower, the two of us.’
Pietro looked at her.
‘I’m sure you’ve seen the two names on the lawyer’s letterbox. Daniele, that was his name. They spent a lifetime together.’ She nodded to herself. ‘I was left with my son. He was left with the condominium. That’s why he worries about everyone, especially now …’ She paused. ‘I don’t want to seem like a gossip.’
‘You don’t seem like a gossip.’
Alice served the cappuccino, a cinnamon heart at the centre of the foam, a butter biscuit on the plate. Pietro placed the cup on Fernando’s table.
The boy immediately began to drink, and Paola said, ‘You know hot milk is bad for you, stop it now!’ Then lowered her voice, ‘I watch television in the kitchen, it was a habit my husband and I had. Unfortunately, our room shares a wall with Dr Martini’s study, and walls talk. Things with them are not at all well.’
‘I know that he lost his mother recently.’
Paola touched his hand lightly. ‘Things with them are not at all well.’ She shook her head, stopped, sniffed and sniffed again. ‘Do you smell something too?’
The putrid odour came and went, overpowering when it did the whiff of cream. She leaned closer to her son. ‘Fernando, stand up.’
Fernando was resting his chin on the palm of one hand and eyeing the barista as she cleaned the espresso machine. He said no and gulped down the last of the cappuccino.
‘Fernando, stand up.’ She bent over him. ‘Hot milk is bad for you, not that you ever listen to me.’ Tugged at him, helping him to his feet. ‘Come on, honey, let’s go home.’
Fernando pulled off his glasses. They swung from their cord and bounced on his chest. He looked down and shuffled like a penguin, Alice said bye, then he passed and only then did Pietro notice the dark halo staining his trousers. The stink had become unbearable. Paola tied her herringbone coat around her son’s waist.
*
The witch was saying, Where did the cat’s soul go, Father, tell me where it went. She hunched her shoulders and her voice could barely be heard.
‘Come,’ said the young priest, leading her through the crowd and into the church. Then he hurried to find the hydrogen peroxide and when he returned he disinfected the scratch. She flinched at the sting. She was beautiful like the year before and the year before that, with one ring more on her finger, something less in her eyes.
‘Your cat is dead and I’m a witch because I killed it.’ Her fleshy mouth trembled. She pressed a hand to her stomach.
‘Does it hurt?’
‘I’ll go to hell.’
He continued to press the cotton to her knee, longer than necessary. Lifted his eyes to her chest swelling her dress.
‘Your name’s Celeste, isn’t it?’
‘I want to purge myself of this sin, Father.’
‘You didn’t see the cat.’
‘I want to confess. In the confessional, right?’ The witch stood and headed for the booth, did an about-turn and plucked some chewing gum from her mouth. ‘If I talk with this in my mouth, will the Lord be offended?’
3
Pietro remained in the cafe. He had ordered a hot chocolate and waited for it to cool, enough for the slightly bitter film to form on top. Scooped it up with the spoon then dunked the two butter biscuits that Alice had brought on the side. He ate them as he drank, and as he drank he watched the condominium through the window. The Martinis had yet to return.
He paid at the register. As Alice gave him his change, she said, ‘I feel bad for that boy Fernando. I never know how to act.’ The concierge put the money in his pocket without counting it and went out. He crossed the street and passed into the courtyard of the condominium. A plaster Madonna in its alcove stood out against the ivy. The lawyer Poppi had asked to have it removed, but the residents refused. It had been there since the Second World War, a gesture of thanks for having spared the building from English bombs.
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