by L. J. Dee
“I want to end this thing properly, Roman,” I said as he lifted me up and carried me across to the bed, sitting beside me, fully clothed as he smiled down at me.
“Do you want more?” he asked and I wasn’t entirely sure I understood the question.
“How do you mean?” He held my gaze, those beautiful blue eyes melting my insides and evaporating all reason. This man was dangerous.
“I’m just checking that your expectations haven’t changed,” he said as I shook my head.
“I have a list of necessary qualities for the man I want, Roman, and you are not it,” I said as he laughed.
“What’s on the list?” he asked as I sat upright, pulling open the drawer on my bedside chest and retrieving my treasured piece of paper.
“Fuck, it’s an actual written down list,” he smirked as I cast him a stern glare.
“Yes it is as it happens,” I snapped, holding it to my chest.
“Let’s have a look then,” he laughed, prying the paper from my hands as I flushed slightly. No one had ever seen this list in its entirety; not even Jess.
“You’re a picky customer,” he grinned, glancing down the page. “Manners, hotness, rich, great in bed, good personality, funny, charming, sociable, gentleman, nice to waitresses, confident, responsible, wants a family, worships the ground I walk on (ideally).”
“And there you have it, Roman. That is not you,” I smiled sarcastically, taking the list back and putting it back in the drawer.
“Well I’m hot, rich, great in bed and nice to waitresses, although I’m not certain why that’s so damned important,” he laughed.
“I think I’ll add humble to my list which is another area you clearly fail in, and being nice to waitresses is important because I am one. Besides, you can tell a lot about a man from how he behaves with a waitress.”
“Really?” he smiled as I nodded and I knew what I was talking about on this one.
“Yes. Men who are nice to serving staff are generally gentleman in real life. The ones who click their fingers or ball you out for a minor misdemeanour are arrogant arseholes with low self esteem who belittle others to make themselves feel better. That generally includes their woman. Take Lucas, for example. Now he’s a gentleman. When Jess rammed her tray into his chest and spilt champagne all over him, he didn’t shout at her. He bent down to help her pick up the glass, smiled and told her it was okay.”
“Of course he did, he wanted to bone her,” he laughed.
“He’s a gentleman, Roman and so is Charlie. Just face it, you got the rogue gene,” I said and as soon as the words were out of my mouth I cringed and wished I could take them back. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean...” I started as he kissed me gently.
“I know you didn’t,” he smiled, pulling away as I sat there wishing I could taste him again.
“I’m not the bastard you think I am, Chas,” he smiled as I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Well what do you call splitting in the dead of night, being completely arrogant, screwing around with women whose names you can’t even remember, and killing people for a living?” I asked, challenging him as he stared at me hard. My stomach flipped in a curious mixture of fear and delight as he held my gaze.
“I’ll give you splitting in the dead of night. I reverted to type and it’s a hard habit to break. I’ve apologised, but I guess I’ll have to live with that one. I always remember the names of women I’ve been intimate with, and I don’t know which of my brothers told you I didn’t, but I can probably guess. I don’t kill people for a living, Chas, I am not an assassin. I’m a negotiator and arrogance is a necessary quality in my line of work, believe me. Sometimes it’s the only defence I have. I would never take a life unless I had to, but if someone is determined to put a bullet in me, I will damn well try and put one in them first. It’s a lesson they teach you in the British Army and it’s served me pretty well. It’s called not getting yourself fucking killed,” he uttered sarcastically.
“Very funny, Roman,” I quipped, rolling my eyes.
“As for not getting too close to women; that is for their benefit and safety,” he said as a sadness I’d never seen before flashed across his features. There was a story behind that look, and I wondered if I was getting as close as anyone had ever come to the real Roman Hunter.
“Why, Roman, what happened?” I asked gently as he stared at me for a moment, lying on the bed beside me as I placed my head on his chest.
“If I tell you, Chas, you have to promise it stays with you. This isn’t common knowledge,” he said, as I nodded, looking up at him as he kissed the top of my head. “I’m only telling you because I care about what you think, and I want you to understand why I behave the way I do.”
I swallowed hard, moved by his honesty, knowing he didn’t share his secrets lightly. “I promise, Roman,” I whispered, following his gaze as he stared at the ceiling.
“I met a girl in Asia and I fell head over heels in love with her. She was beautiful, like the light to my darkness and she lit up my very soul. I’d have done anything for her, I adored her, and everyone knew it. She wasn’t tainted and she believed in me, Chas. She saw goodness and love in a way I’d never thought possible. She was naive and innocent and I dragged her into a world that was seedy, corrupt and deadly. I was brokering a deal and it turned ugly. Someone I trusted had double crossed me. I thought she was safe, but she wasn’t. By the time I got to her, it was too late. They’d cut her up badly and left me to find her. She was still alive, but I couldn’t save her. She died in my arms, and I swore then that no one close to me would ever pay the price for the decisions I make. That’s why I disappear under aliases, why no one can ever find me, and very few people even know who Roman Hunter is. Until I’m out of this, I won’t risk my family or anyone I care about being exposed. It’s too risky,” he said as I gazed up at him, flooded with sympathy and leaning up to brush my lips gently against his.
“Did you get revenge on the people who did that?” I asked as he smiled gently.
“You should know better than to ask me questions like that,” he said and I knew then that Roman had shut down again. I’d had a glimpse of his pain; a slither of the truth that made this complex man tick and I wanted more, knowing that I wouldn’t get it. Roman was an enigma, secretive and evasive, but from the words he’d just spoken, there was a heart beating away in there, and he was a man who’d been deeply wounded.
“I’m sorry that happened,” I said gently as he nodded.
“Just don’t tell anyone else, okay,” he said as I reached up to kiss him again. This time he devoured my lips with an aggression I wasn’t expecting, rolling me over onto my back, exploring my mouth with his tongue and I moaned deeply before pulling away.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked as I nodded.
“I want you naked in my bed. I want you to spend the night holding me, and in the morning I want you to kiss me goodbye. I can’t do this if you split again, helicopter or no fucking helicopter,” I said seriously as he smiled.
“It’s a deal, baby and I don’t want to keep a lady waiting,” he grinned, standing beside the bed and stripping off to reveal that incredible body as I peeled back the sheets and invited him in.
He worshipped every inch of my soft flesh with those wonderful lips and this was the goodbye I’d always hoped for. His velvet kisses ignited my shivering skin and he was taking his time, sweetly and tenderly, in direct contrast to the animalistic fucking we’d indulged in at the lodge. “Are you trying to show me you can be a gentleman?” I asked as he laughed, nipping my bottom lip with his teeth.
“I’m no gentleman, Chas, and there will be nothing ladylike about the way you’re screaming my name,” he grinned, kissing his way down my body. His fingers began to tease my G-spot as his tongue found my clit and I was in seventh heaven, curling my toes and gasping out loud as he brought me closer and closer to the brink with his delicious, expert actions. I had my hands buried in his hair, squeezing his s
calp, exploding in a barrage of white light as he brought me off in the most incredible dual orgasm that lit up my body like a firework as I arched upwards, gasping his name over and over again.
It took an age before I could force my eyes open, my body still trembling with pleasure as I gazed up to find him smiling at me. “I think you just gave me a bi-gasm,” I said as he laughed.
“I’m not familiar with the term, but I’m guessing from your reaction that it was pretty good,” he said as I nodded breathlessly. Good was an understatement and I was keen to repay the favour.
“I’ll take my bi-gasm, and raise you a tri-gasm,” I smiled as he laughed.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Chas?”
“Oh, Mr Hunter, you’re about to find out just how pleasurable it can be to have three parts of your body stimulated until you blow your load right down my throat,” I winked, licking my lips as a satisfying low groan rumbled through him. I began the heavenly descent, gliding my tongue down that hot, hard torso, tracing every muscle in my path as he moaned impatiently above me.
His cock was enormous, bulging veins and an angry head, demanding attention as I lavished it with my tongue, taking in the whole length and increasing the suction until he was twitching in ecstasy in my mouth. He groaned hard as I pulled away, moving straight to his heavy balls. I licked and sucked as his hips thrust against me, his big firm hands weaved into my hair as he cried out in pleasure. I spent a few minutes stimulating him there, gripping and massaging his cock simultaneously, spurred on by his moans of intense pleasure before moving my mouth back to his rigid shaft and my hands to his balls.
His thigh muscles tensed as he hissed through clenched teeth, our gazes locked as I drove him closer and closer to the edge. “Fuck, Chas, that’s amazing,” he said as I wrapped my lips around that glorious penis, fondling his balls with my palm and inserting my finger into his arse, pressing his prostate as he cried out loud. “Fucking hell, baby I’m coming,” he gasped, filling my mouth with liquid pleasure almost instantly as I swallowed it down.
He was breathing as hard as I had been, still flushed from my own orgasm as he pulled me back up towards him, kissing my swollen lips with a possessive passion that I savoured, knowing this would soon be over and nothing more than a sweet, sweet memory.
“I have no words for how good that was,” he smiled as I laughed. “I’m already hard again and I really need to be inside you. I haven’t forgotten just how beautiful it feels when your gorgeous body is bound to mine; your sweet little pussy is so inviting, gorgeous,” he said, flipping me over as I gazed up at him.
“So, you’re not using the word cunt, today?” I smirked as he shook his head, reaching down into his trouser pocket to retrieve a condom.
“I don’t want to do anything you don’t like, princess. I hate that I hurt you and I want us to have the goodbye we should always have had. I meant it when I told you that you’re special to me. I never want you to forget that, sweetheart, and if you need me I’ll be there for you,” he said as I tried hard to fight back a sudden onslaught of unwelcome tears. Sweet Roman wasn’t someone I was used to, and he was taking me by surprise.
“What’s the matter?” he asked as I shut my eyes.
“Nothing,” I said, guiding his solid cock between my wet folds as he fucked me well into the night.
We were curled together as we woke and it was with a heavy heart that I turned to face him, knowing that it was over and it couldn’t be any other way. I had my list and Roman was Roman, but I was grateful that he’d come, despite the fact that he’d scared me out of my wits. “I meant it when I said to let me know if you need me, precious girl,” he smiled, kissing me gently as I placed my head on his chest for the last time.
“And how am I supposed to find you? You’re pretty elusive, Roman,” I smiled as he laughed.
“I’ll give you my number. Call me anytime. Very few people have this, baby. If I can’t answer for whatever reason, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” he said, reaching over to my nightstand and scribbling a number of a scrap piece of paper.
“I have something for you as well,” I said as he gazed at me curiously. I got up, and reached into the top of my wardrobe, pulling out an old shoebox where I’d kept his father’s letter in a card I’d bought. I took it out tentatively, turning to face him nervously, unsure how he’d react. He’d wanted to burn it, and I’d never got to the bottom of his feelings about it in our short time together. I only hoped that as the mist of grief cleared, that one day he’d be happy I’d rescued it from the flames.
He was frowning slightly as I crawled back into bed beside him. “You look worried,” he said as I smiled, handing him the card.
“I bought the card because I thought it said everything.” I watched his face as he read the inscription on the front. It was the serenity prayer, and the instant I’d seen it in the shop I had thought of Roman and his father.
“‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’”
He opened the card as the charred letter from his father fell out and he stared at me hard for a moment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to meddle, but I thought one day you might want to read it again,” I said as tears welled in my eyes at the look on his face. He sat up slowly, placing the letter on the night stand and gripping me against his chest in a clutch so brutal it felt like I might suffocate.
“Thank you, baby,” he whispered against my ear as his breath hitched and a huge sob echoed through his chest. I was certain that Roman Hunter was about to cry. He was silent for a few moments, just holding me and enveloping me in the silence.
I wasn’t certain what I’d do if he broke down. Layer after layer of this dangerous, captivating and beautiful man were being revealed and they were impossible to ignore. If he showed his vulnerability, I’d be putty in his hands and walking away would be harder than ever. It would always be tough, but if I saw any more humanity it would be heart wrenching. I almost wished he’d revert to arrogant dick mode. It would certainly make life easier.
“Chas?” he asked tentatively as I glanced up at those blue eyes that were showing no signs of the hurt I feared, but were twinkling brightly.
“Yes,” I said, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.
“One more for the road?” he asked, quirking his eyebrow suggestively as I laughed out loud, not getting any further opportunity to respond before he was pinning me again the mattress and nuzzling my neck.
“It would appear I have no choice, Mr Hunter. I assume that if I say no, you’ll probably just bugger me senseless, with or without permission,” I laughed.
“Now there’s a thought, Miss Evangelista.”
Chapter Seventeen
As the end of the week rolled around I was still thinking about Roman. I hadn’t cried when he left. I’d enjoyed the time we’d had together and loved that he’d come back. It had been the closing of the circle for me, the ending of a short term romance that would always have a special place in my mind and in my heart. At least I thought that’s what it was. I was glad I’d had it, not sad or regretful, and that was in direct contrast to how I’d felt on Monday. I wasn’t altogether happy that he’d broken into my home, but I might have guessed. Nothing about Roman Hunter was straightforward and I couldn’t help but feel confused. I had feelings for two men and the fact they were brothers just made the whole thing altogether more awkward. My head was all over the place. Ordinarily she’d be the last person I’d call for advice on men, but I needed to ask her something and could barely wait to get the basic niceties out of the way before diving straight in.
“Do you believe in ‘The one’, Jess?” I asked; already certain what my sister’s answer would be.
“Of course I do. Lucas is the one. He is everything I could ever want and more. I can’t put into words how much I love him, Chas.” I knew that and I thought about it for a second.
“What about Jake
though? You were head over heels in love with Jake. I know he’s gone, but what if he wasn’t? What if you met Lucas while you with Jake, what then?” I asked. She was silent for a moment.
“But I wouldn’t have looked at Lucas if I was with Jake. I would never have got the opportunity to explore those possibilities or learn to understand the man beneath that serious exterior. I suppose I would never have known he was the one if Jake was still alive, but I don’t know really. I was drawn to Lucas immediately. There was a strong connection, so fierce it was impossible to ignore. Maybe I would have still had that, I don’t know,” she said and I could tell she was thinking about it hard.
“Exactly, Sis, and that’s my point. Jake was ‘the one’ for you, but so is Lucas. It kind of negates the fact that there is ‘a one’. Maybe it’s two, or three. Maybe the possibilities are endless and there are thousands of souls out there who we could find our happily ever after with, all offering us a unique and different way to find it. Perhaps all isn’t lost if we miss one chance because another will come along, another ‘one’ to complete us?”
“I’ve always been fixated on the thought of that one special person, but maybe you’re right, Chas. I think fate brought Lucas and I together though and maybe it wouldn’t have done that if I was still with Jake. Maybe my heart would have been closed, so I wouldn’t have noticed those stunning eyes and that smouldering, captivating gaze,” she said dreamily.
“Yes you would,” I laughed as she joined me.
“Why are you asking anyway, Sis? This is all a bit deep for you,” she laughed. Didn’t I know it, but I’d been thinking about it a lot.
“I guess I’m just confused and trying to get some perspective on things. I’ve spent my life living up to my name, well almost, but last weekend threw me a curve ball. I have really strong feelings for Charlie, but I really like Roman too.”