by Wendi Wilson
I knew I was dangerous. I knew that, when I lost my temper or felt overwhelmed with any other emotion, people got hurt. But this? This was too much.
“I’d like to be alone, please.”
“December—” Easton started, but I cut him off.
“Please. Just for a little while.”
Charles nodded, then turned and walked through the door. Shaela wrapped her arms around my neck, whispering about how glad she was that I was okay, and thanking me for saving her before she followed Charles out into the hall. Easton gave me a look that said he’d be back, kissed my forehead, and left me to my thoughts.
I closed my eyes, attempting to picture the scene they’d described, but it was no use. I’d completely blocked it from my memory. I had no recollection of anything after Elias choking me and threatening to kill my best friend and my mentor.
And if I could do those things, burn him to death and dispose of his charred remains, so easily and not remember, what else was I capable of?
Chapter Sixty
27
“I can see the wheels turning in your head.”
I looked up from my clasped hands and saw Cris closing the door behind him. I’d been sitting in the infirmary bed, my mind spinning in circles, for nearly an hour since my friends left. I wasn’t ready to see anyone yet, but I knew Cris wouldn’t bend to my wishes like the others had.
I just needed to hear him out, then he’d leave and I could get back to the business of figuring out where to go from here.
“We already determined that you’re not a danger to those who care about you, December.”
“That was before,” I mumbled.
“Before what?” he asked, his voice rising in volume. “Before a demented Zephyr snuck into school property, kidnapped your friends, admitted to killing one and promising to kill two more? Before you had to do something to save yourself from being taken hostage and delivered to the dark queen on a silver platter? You, as well as Easton? She would have killed you both, you know. So that means you saved four lives. Four, December.”
“I understand that, Cris, and I am happy that they’re safe and that Charles is alive. But you don’t understand. The problem is that I don’t remember any of it. I was brutal, without mercy. I killed a man in the most horrible of ways and I didn’t have any control over it.” I looked back down at my lap before murmuring, “I’m too dangerous.”
“Being too dangerous to people who want to hurt you and those you love is not necessarily a bad thing.”
We were going to just have to agree to disagree. I didn’t have the energy, or the strength to argue with him anymore. I was tired. Bone-tired.
A thought struck me and I took the opportunity to change the subject.
“I do remember something strange, though,” I said.
“What was that?” he asked, sitting in the chair next to the bed.
“After Elias figured out I was the real December and attacked me, I looked at you.”
His face darkened, and he cleared his throat, but didn’t make any comment on my observation. When I realized, he wasn’t going to speak, I continued on.
“You were struggling to hold onto the Glamour, Cris. Elias knew you weren’t me, and you didn’t drop the façade. Why?”
“December…I…”
“Did you know him?”
His whole body deflated and he slumped back in the chair. He was silent for the longest time, and I was sure he wasn’t going to answer me.
“I don’t want to lie to you,” he said, his voice low, “but I also can’t tell you the whole truth right now. What I can say is that yes, I did know him. And it was imperative that he not realize who I am.”
“Who are you?” I asked.
Cris shook his head. “All in good time. I care about you, December, and I am here to help you in any way I can. But we need to keep this discussion between us, for now. Do you think you can do that?”
I wanted to say no. I wanted to argue and force him to tell me the truth right then.
But instead, I just nodded my head. He gave me a small smile, tinged with sadness, and stood from his chair. He reached over and brushed my hair back from my forehead before bracing his fingertips beneath my chin, tilting my head back so he could look into my eyes.
“Do not retreat into yourself. Your friends need you just as much as you need them. You won’t hurt them, December. You can’t. Because when it comes to love, the Sylph half of you is the one that’s in charge. And she would never let harm come to any one of them.”
Without waiting for me to respond, he spun on a heel and walked out, letting the door swing shut softly behind him. I was left alone to chew on those words, and spent the rest of the morning in that bed, wondering if he could possibly be right.
I decided not to run away. I knew Shaela wouldn’t stand for me moving out of our room again, anyway. Besides, I was pretty sure Cris was right, in that respect—I would never, could never, hurt Shaela. I no longer carried the fear that made me move out in the first place, and nearly losing her made me want to stay close for a while. Like, attached-at-the-hip-close.
When I was finally released from the medical ward later that day, I headed straight for our room. When I opened the door, Shaela sprung up from her bed and rushed toward me. She pulled to a stop just short of touching me, though, like she was scared I might break.
I wrapped my arms around her and jerked her to me, squeezing as hard as I could as she hugged me back. When I pulled back, I gave her a stern look.
“Don’t ever get kidnapped again,” I said. “I couldn’t bear it if I lost you.”
My eyes burned with emotion, and I could see her green ones glassing over, too. She laughed, a sound of joy and relief…a testament to her happiness that we were both safe and back together again. I felt the exact same way.
“How are you feeling?” she asked as I made my way over to my bed.
“Like I killed someone in cold blood, then forgot all about it?” I said, making the statement sound like a question.
“December…”
“Too soon. Sorry,” I said, slumping down onto the mattress.
“Hey,” she said, her voice gentle and soothing, “you can talk to me. You don’t have to make light of it, or pretend you’re not as affected as you are. I’m here for you, no matter what. You know that, right?”
She sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her, resting my head against her shoulder. The tears I’d been holding back started to fall, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“I’m so scared, Shaela. I have all this power I don’t understand and can’t control. What if I accidentally hurt another student?”
“You won’t,” she said.
I lifted my head so I could look at her and asked, “How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know you,” she said with finality. “Besides, you have it pretty much under control after working with Cris, right? That’s why you came back here. You only lost it when that Zephyr threatened to kill us. Anyone would lose it under those circumstances.”
I wasn’t so sure, but I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Plus, I felt like I was being a little selfish, talking about me, when she was the one who got freaking kidnapped and held hostage all day.
“Tell me what happened to you,” I said, brushing the tears from my face.
“Okay,” she said, laying back across the bed to stare at the ceiling. “Charles and I had plans to meet in the forest after breakfast. Just a few minutes alone, you know, to make out and stuff.”
I nodded, fully understanding wanting to snag a few private moments with your boyfriend.
“As soon as I stepped far enough into the woods to be hidden from the school, the Zephyr attacked. I didn’t see or hear anything. One second I was stepping over a fallen branch, the next, I was pushed face-first into the ground. He tied my feet and hands with magical cords and gagged me. Then he threw me over his shoulder and took me deep into
the forest.”
“Magical cords?” I asked, remembering that I’d seen the golden ropes that restrained her.
“Yeah, they’re spelled so that they can’t be broken. Finn was the only one strong enough to break the magic and free me.” She blew out a breath and closed her eyes before she continued. “Charles found me. He tried to use his affinity with fire to fight Elias, but he was completely outmatched. Elias used wind to bash him against a tree until his body was broken. I could literally hear his bones snapping.”
“Oh, Shaela, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, emotion clogging my throat. My heart broke for my best friend and what she must’ve gone through.
She shook her head. “I’m okay. I wasn’t…after…but now, I know he’s alive and well and I just want to forget about it.”
“Okay,” I said, knowing full well what it’s like to want to forget something traumatic. “What happened after?”
“He left me tied up on the ground while he moved Charles deeper into the forest. When he got back, he took my purse and headed in the direction of the school. I know now that he was leaving it out in the open for someone to find, but at the time, I had no idea. Then we just waited until you showed up. You know the rest.”
Silence stretched between us for a few minutes while I digested all of that. I ground the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, then laid down beside her, my fingers searching out the best friend charm around my neck. I slipped it up and down the chain and saw Shaela doing the same with hers.
“So…healing abilities?” I asked.
“Yes, thank God. Charles was still alive when Elias dumped him in the woods. His body healed itself as he lay there unconscious for all those hours. When he woke up, he wandered around until he found us in the clearing. I almost passed out, thinking I was seeing a ghost.”
“I bet,” I said. “I’m so happy he’s okay.”
“Yeah. Me, too,” she said.
Then she sat up and jumped to her feet in one swift movement.
“Enough of the serious stuff,” she said, marching over to her side of the room and digging through the drawer in her night stand. “We’re all alive, and safe, so it’s time to celebrate.”
She pulled two chocolate bars from the drawer and tossed one to me before pulling her school tablet from her trunk. She tapped the screen a few times, and music started to play through the devices speakers.
“Who is this?” I asked, ripping into the wrapper on my candy bar.
“Titania’s Handmaidens,” she said. “They’re a Sylph girl band, and they’re awesome.”
The beat was fast and pulsing, making me bounce a little where I sat. After listening to a couple of verses, I decided Shaela was right—they were awesome. I asked her to download some of their songs onto my tablet and she promised she would.
We spent the rest of the night eating sweets, listening to music, and talking about anything and everything.
Everything, that is, except Zephyrs, Alvaro Forest, Elias, or the darkness inside me that killed a man in cold blood.
Chapter Sixty-One
28
“Are your mom and dad coming for parents’ weekend?”
In a few days, parents would descend upon the campus. Scheduled were classroom tours, family dinners, and a special performance where students would showcase what they’d been learning—there’d be sparring matches, displays of conjuration, and basic elemental wielding demonstrations.
“I don’t think so,” Easton said, answering my question.
We were walking to breakfast when I’d asked, and I grabbed his wrist to pull him aside before we entered the dining hall. Something about the look on his face set off alarm bells in my head. That, and the maroon color of his aura. He was full of resentment.
I led him to a quiet corner that held a bench. Sitting, I pulled him down beside me and angled my body toward his so I could look into his eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
He sighed, scrubbing a palm down his face. I thought he was going to refuse, and I decided I wouldn’t push the matter. He’d tell me when he was ready.
“I told you I grew up here, right? That I never really lived with my parents? At least not since I was four.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Finn Oberon is my mother’s father. My father married her, hoping for a chance at the throne. He never really loved her.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, not really sure what to say.
“It’s okay,” he said, waving it off. “I came to grips with that a long time ago. So, in order for my father to rule, my mother would have to inherit the crown from my grandfather. She would be queen and he, as her husband, would be king.”
“Okay. So, what’s the problem?” I asked, not really understanding.
“Me. I’m the problem. After I was born, my mother knew I’d be old enough to rule once Finn decided to step down. She officially abdicated her claim to the throne, passing it to me, which pissed my father off, as you could imagine.”
“So…he blames you?”
He nodded. “Yes, he practically disowned me. As the heir to the crown, I go by my grandfather’s last name instead of my father’s and that was the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. Greed, jealousy, anger—that’s all he feels when he sees me.”
“What about your mom?” I asked, keeping my voice gentle.
The anguish in his face lessened. He didn’t quite smile, but I could tell just by looking at him that he loved his mother.
“She’s amazing. Kind. Gentle. Loving and accepting of everyone around her. She deserves better than him.”
He spat the last few words, and his aura turned red as anger shot through him. Seeing the hot color, I looked down at the ring on my right hand. His mother had given it to him with love, expecting that he’d give it to the girl he planned to marry.
“Why doesn’t she just leave?” I asked. “I’m sure Finn would let his own daughter come live here if she has nowhere else to go.”
Easton shook his head, saying, “Divorce is a human practice, D. Once married, the Fae don’t split up. They can’t. There’s magic in the marriage ceremony that bonds them together for life. If they stay apart for too long, they will weaken, eventually to the point of death.”
“Oh,” I said mulling over what he’d said.
Apparently, the Fae needed to be really sure before they took the leap and got married. Not being able to leave someone that made you miserable sounded awful.
“Can’t your mom come for the weekend, at least? Surely, being away from him for a couple of days won’t hurt her. Right?”
“He won’t let her,” he answered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my hackles rise on his behalf. “She’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants. She loves you. I’m sure she’s dying to see you. She should come and leave his ass at home!”
“She does want to come, but if she defies him, the repercussions would be unbearable.”
“Does he hit her?” I asked, dread freezing the blood in my veins.
“No,” he said. “But he’s stronger than her, magically speaking. He can lock her in a room and deny her basic necessities for days, and there’s nothing she can do about it. He verbally abuses her on a constant basis, but if she so much as speaks my name, it gets one hundred times worse. He uses magic to force her to kneel before him, to kiss his shoes—basically anything he can think of to make her as miserable as possible because she dared to give her crown to me.”
“That’s terrible,” I said, the sting of tears burning behind my eyelids. “Is there anything I can do?”
I knew it was a lame question, but I dredged up the topic, and I felt guilty about it.
“Don’t,” he said, taking my hand and squeezing it between his. “You have no reason to feel guilty. You do make it better. By treating me with respect and consideration. By bringing a bright ray of sunshine into my life. By loving me, flaws a
nd all. You make me better, December.”
“Flaws?” I asked, my voice rising an octave. “What flaws? I don’t see any flaws.”
He smiled, then, and heat coursed through me, warming me from the inside out. I smiled back, then tilted my head down and looked up at him through my lashes.
“I’m pretty sure I’m the one with all the flaws. You love me despite them, staying by my side when I’m destroying everything around me with this volatile power inside me. You give me space when I need it, stay close when I don’t, and always know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Your dad is an asshole and has no clue what he gave up when he pushed you away.”
His lips crashed against mine before I could utter another word, his hands burrowing into my hair as his tongue pushed against my lips. I parted them granting him entrance, and he delved in deep with a rumbling moan.
I fisted my hands into his shirt, holding on for dear life while all the emotions Easton was feeling poured into me. There was an almost-desperate edge to his kisses, like he needed the connection like he needed air. Like he’d die without it.
Finally, we broke apart, both of our chests heaving as we tried to catch our breath. Easton’s aura blazed a bright pink, and I was sure mine did, too. Wiping his palms on his slacks, he stood and offered me a hand.
“We should probably get to breakfast before all the food’s gone,” he said, helping me to my feet.
“Yeah,” I said, still a little breathless.
“And December? Thanks.”
“Thanks for what?” I asked as we made our way back toward the dining hall.
“For listening. For understanding. And for loving me, despite my dysfunctional family problems.”
“Your father’s choices are his own,” I said.
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out as we stepped into the dining hall. Complete silence fell as soon as we came into view of the other students. All eyes were on us. On me. Eyes filled with fear and revulsion.