by Rusk, Day
Darlene was in her mid-thirties and had been divorced for approximately three years; she was an attractive woman who took pride in taking care of herself, but it had been a very long time since she had been putting anything out there, as they say. She was a busy graphic artist with a five-year-old boy that took up a lot of her time. It had been a long time since she put out a womanly vibe, having traded it in for the motherly vibe, which was fine with her. She enjoyed her life and was more than comfortable with where it had led her. The fact that Lewis Hathaway, as he’d introduced himself, had bothered to take the time to not only notice her, but actually talk to her had been flattering. She’d given him her number. He seemed like a distinguished gentleman; the way she figured it, if he called, maybe she should consider going out on a date, and if he didn’t, it wasn’t like she was going to be sitting by the phone pining for some gentleman she’d met in the lobby of a publishing company. But he had called and they’d shared conversation and coffee, and because that hadn’t bothered either one of them in any negative way, it had led to this, a more formal dinner date at a proper restaurant. All of this had taken place over the course of one week.
“I didn’t take them,” he said casually. “There were taken by associates of mine.”
This was definitely a first for her; she wasn’t sure what she was expected to do; should she get up from her seat and immediately exit the restaurant, leaving him behind? This wasn’t right. The photos were disturbing. She knew she should just leave, but curiosity is a powerful drug.
“Your friends took these,” she said. “Why?”
“We know all about you, Darlene.”
We, she thought. The inherent desire for either flight or fight weighed heavy on her thoughts, both battling for dominance. If she wasn’t on some sort of bizarre Candid Camera television show, there was a distinct possibility she was sitting in front of a psycho – maybe even a serial killer in training.
Flight finally won. “I think I need to go,” she finally said.
“More wine?” he asked, motioning to the bottle of red sitting on the table.
She had been prepared to stand up and head for the exit, but his last remark threw her off; he was so casual in his manner, as if everything he was doing was completely natural; confusion and concern had turned more and more towards fear, yet his manner was also strangely intriguing. She wanted to know more, but thankfully, common sense prevailed and she repeated her last statement.
“I think I’ll be leaving now.”
As she made her move to stand up, he simply looked at her and said, “That would be a big mistake, I’m afraid.”
She hovered in the air briefly, unsure whether she should continue rising or return to sitting.
“You might want to check these out,” he said, once again reaching into his breast pocket and pulling a couple more photos out and tossing them on the table. “I have quite a few associates.”
Darlene froze. Dinner, which had been quite lovely, threatened to reappear, but she fought for control of her body and mind as she looked upon two photos of her son, Eric on the playground at kindergarten.
“He’s a cute kid,” Lewis said matter-of-factly. As far as he was concerned this was going well. He’d become attuned to the game and knew thousands of feelings were racing through her mind, trying to make sense of all this; he also knew that the sight of her son would make the fear, fighting to gain control of her, firmly in charge of her senses. She sat back down, her eyes riveted on the photos of Eric.
“What the fuck is going on here,” she said once she’d recovered from her shock. There was anger in her voice, but she had also kept it low, so as not to draw attention to the both of them.
She no longer wanted to flee. He had photos of her little man; she needed to get to the bottom of what was going on; this had suddenly gotten very, very serious.
“Tomorrow night, Darlene, I’m going to pick you up at eight and we’re going to attend a party together. The good news is you’re going to be one of the guests of honor at this party.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said firmly.
She looked at him; he just smiled. He was confident; one of the things that had attracted her to him in the first place.
“It’s very important that you not only listen carefully, but that you fully understand what I’m saying to you, as I’ll only say it once, Darlene,” he continued. “You are going to be one of the guests of honor at this party where you will readily and without hesitation share yourself with my associates.”
“Share myself?” she asked, puzzled.
“Yes, share yourself.”
He took a moment to sip on his wine, his eyes never leaving hers. He seemed happy and this pissed her off.
“To put it a little more crudely, you’re going to let my associates fuck you, Darlene.”
She started to say something, but he held his hand up, quieting her; she couldn’t believe it had actually worked, but it had. His power lay in the photos of her son on the table.
“You’re going to satiate any and all sexual desires, perversions, fetishes or anything else these guests desire of you.”
“What are you smoking?” she asked anger in her voice.
“Each of us must do exactly as he pleases, each of us is bound by one law alone, that of his own pleasure,” he said, staring into her eyes intently. “Nature wills that we are born alone; there is no real contact or relationship possible between one person and another. The only rule of conduct for me to follow, therefore, is to prefer whatever affects me pleasurably and, conversely, to hold as naught anything which, as a result of my preferences, may cause harm to others. The greatest pain inflicted on others is of less account than my own pleasure. Little do I care if the price I have to pay for my least delight is an awesome accumulation of atrocious crimes, for pleasure flatters me, it is written, while the effects of crime, being outside me, do not affect me.”
She just looked at him. “What the hell are you going on about?” she asked.
“A philosophy,” he said, “a philosophy of life. It’s not my own, but that of Donatien Alphonse Francois, a French aristocrat.”
He took a moment to look at her and could see it hadn’t registered; he hadn’t expected it would.
“You know him better as the Marquis de Sade, one of humankind’s greatest libertines.”
“The Marquis de Sade? You’re out of your mind. I’ve got to go.”
She started to rise again.
“Think about your child,” he simply said.
Once again she hesitated. This was insane; how had the night shifted so horribly? She sat back down.
“That’s a good girl,” he said, now in a patronizing tone. “You do have a choice regarding tomorrow night. You can choose not to participate, but that would be the same as signing your son’s death warrant.”
The urge to take her fork and knife and lunge across the table burying both deep in his chest was hard to resist, but she didn’t.
“I’ll go to the police.”
“And tell them what?” he asked. “It’ll be your word against mine. As I said, we’ll have this conversation only once; there are no second chances. You decide to participate or you decide upon the death of your son. We’re a patient group, Darlene. You see, your son won’t die next week, the week after that, next month, or even six months from now. If you refuse to participate, within the next three to four years your son will be dead. Do you think the police are going to protect you for that long? We’re willing to wait. All I can guarantee you is that eventually we will punish you for your disobedience.”
A million thoughts were racing through Darlene’s mind. What he was saying was unbelievable; he couldn’t possibly mean it. At the same time, what he was saying concerned the health and welfare of her son, and could she truly afford to not take him seriously? She had no idea how to respond.
“How is everything here?” the Waitress asked in a cheerful voice. Darlene snapped out of her thoughts.
“Can I interest the two of you in dessert?”
“Could you give us a minute,” said Lewis.
The Waitress smiled and moved away from the table.
“I have to admit, the service here is impeccable. Wouldn’t you agree?” he asked.
She just looked at him. He smiled, almost with a hint of sympathy, although if it was true she saw that hint, she was sure it was part of his act; what he was saying wouldn’t allow for even a smidgen of sympathy in someone like him.
“You’re beating yourself up Darlene,” he said matter-of-factly. “You have two options tomorrow night, participate or don’t. You know what’s expected of you with either decision. Embrace the whore that you are, or embrace the sorrow of your son’s demise. Oh, you could think of uprooting your life and even fleeing the city, trying to go somewhere you don’t think we’ll find you, but we have an extensive network of libertines in our group and wherever you go, we’ll find you and your son. That is a solemn promise I make to you.”
“I...I...” Darlene was still trying to make sense of it all in her mind.
“For God’s sake Darlene, is there really a decision to make here? It’s just a hole. Well, in your case, there are several holes that can bring about pleasure, and I’m sure all will be used accordingly. What’s the harm? Especially knowing that letting us use them will save your son?”
“Why are you doing this?” she finally managed to ask.
“Because we can. We take what we want and whomever we want. We want you. It’s actually quite an honor. I saw you and knew you’d offer pleasure and I have the power to take it. You’re weaker, Darlene. You should be proud that someone as powerful as me desires to use you.”
Darlene looked at the photos once again. She felt sick to her stomach.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” she said and started to get up. Lewis reached across the table and grabbed her arm. His touch sent chills up and down her spine.
“If you flee this restaurant, Darlene, I should warn you that will be considered a ‘no’ and your son’s fate will be sealed. As I said, we will only have this conversation once; I will never repeat what I’ve just asked of you. We will simply move on to our next conquest, and you will set about awaiting death. So, before you do something foolish, will I be picking you up tomorrow night?”
He let go of her arm and she made her way to the Ladies Room. She could see in his eyes he was serious. The desire to leave was strong, but the consequence of making that decision was unthinkable. She rushed into the Ladies Room and into a stall, where she proceeded to throw up what had started out as a pleasant dinner. She flushed, closed the lid on the toilet and took a seat, the tears starting to form in her eyes; they quickly led to actual sobbing, her whole body shaking as she tried to fathom everything that had just transpired. She had no idea what to do. If he was serious, she really had no choice; he had photos; they could have been taken by him, one friend, or many. Did he really have an extensive network of jerks like him? Would he really do what he said he and his friend would do to her son? Was any of this real?
Darlene exited the stall and made her way to the mirror; luckily no one had entered the Ladies Room and heard her sobbing; the last thing she wanted now was some Good Samaritan trying to help her. She touched up her make-up and tried to get herself into presentable shape to return to the table. She had to return; she couldn’t risk it.
Finding a strength she didn’t know she had, Darlene made her way back to the table; Lewis was in the process of digging into a cheesecake he’d ordered.
“Would you like anything?” he asked. “I’ve ordered us both coffees.”
“Please don’t do this to me,” she said.
Darlene looked down at the table and noticed he had put the photos away.
“I believe you owe me an answer, Darlene. I’m a patient man, but you’re beginning to try it. Will I be picking you up tomorrow night?”
He resumed eating his cheesecake. She studied him closely; he was so damned casual; it was annoying. She did the only thing she could.
“Yes,” she said.
Darlene found it hard to sleep. Rather than let Lewis drive her home, she had elected to take a cab; the less time she spent in his presence the better; that and she had a lot to think about.
What had she agreed to?
It couldn’t possibly be real. She so desperately wanted to believe that, but also knew that everything he had asked of her was real; he expected her to willing go with him tomorrow night to her own rape.
When she arrived home she dismissed the babysitter as quickly as she could; Eric was fast asleep, and she knew from experience that if she gave Sandra an opening she’d start up a conversation and it would be hell getting her out the door. Darlene had no time for small talk this evening. Sandra must have suspected something was wrong, and appeared a bit concerned, but Darlene had gotten her out the door without having to reveal anything. She immediately raced to Eric’s room.
Standing in the doorway of your son or daughter’s bedroom and watching the little angelic tykes sleeping was a cliché used often in movies and TV shows; it wasn’t until she had given birth that she truly appreciated the beauty of that moment. She looked at Eric, deep in sleep, his young face sweet and pure. It brought tears to her eyes. He was so innocent and as of yet didn’t know the world could be cruel; she envied him that innocence and wished he could appreciate it himself. It wouldn’t take long for him do discover the ugliness of life and lose that innocence forever; and you truly did lose it. She couldn’t remember back to that time in her life; a time where everything was so blissfully great; too many years of toil and trouble had erased them forever; even when she found something to be happy about these days, there was always a healthy layer of cynicism laying underneath it, taking away it’s hope for purity. She had to protect her little man; it was that and nothing more that truly drove her in life.
He was all that mattered.
The next day was hell. She was sure it was as pleasant for her as those on death row who had finally ran out of time and knew there’d be no tomorrow for them. She got absolutely no work done; it had actually taken everything she had just to get Eric up and to Junior Kindergarten. She really didn’t want to take him there; had wanted to spend the whole day with him, but had errands to run; Lewis had made it clear that he expected her to be wearing some sexy lingerie to the party tonight, as well as a tasteful but sexy dress. He told her she wouldn’t be in either long, but presentation was important to the group, and seeing as she was his offering he wanted her to make a good impression. She had nothing like he’d requested in her wardrobe. It’d been a long time since she last dated and a long time since she’d had to wear something sexy in the bedroom to please a man. So she went shopping and did so in a trance, picking out lingerie and a dress, still not quite believing what was in store for her tonight; still not believing she was going to cooperate. It was like she was having an out-of-body experience, watching herself go through the motions, heading towards something crazy and unimaginable. Never far from her thoughts was Eric, and that kept her zombie-like mind and body moving, going through the paces, making sure she didn’t fail him.
She was going to be raped!
She was willing going to be participating in her rape!
She cried often.
Maybe it was all a joke? A sick joke, but a joke nonetheless.
Unfortunately it wasn’t.
Out Among the stars I sail,
Way beyond the moon
In my silver ship I sail
A dream that ended too soon
Now I know exactly who I am,
And what I’m here for
And I will go sailing no more.
The song played over and over in Darlene’s thoughts as she sat in the passenger seat of Lewis’s car and he navigated them out of the city towards Lakeview’s suburbs. Eric was watching Toy Story just before she left on what she told Sandra was another date. Sandra had been impressed, two dates in a row; m
aybe she had found Mr. Right?
Toy Story was Eric’s favorite movie and he watched it endlessly. She always found that moment in the film where Buzz Lightyear tries to fly but fails, landing on the floor and breaking off his arm, sad, and tonight as she watched the scene play out and listened to Randy Newman’s song, which seemed to resonate more with her, it was almost downright depressing. She played it over and over again in her mind, in an attempt to try and control the fear that had gripped her from the moment she got in the passenger seat of Lewis’s car.
Luckily Lewis wasn’t in a talkative mood. They travelled along in silence until he finally pulled into a relatively long driveway that led to a huge house on a sprawling property; his friends were definitely well-to-do.
“I’m going to lay down a few ground rules for you, Darlene,” he said, shocking her out of her thoughts. She had a moment of anxiousness, but regained control of herself before he could notice. “Tonight you must participate. Do so willingly and with enthusiasm, or not; some of my fellow libertines like to see fear on their conquests faces; like to know they’re submitting unwillingly, but submitting. That is the key, submitting.”