“I don’t want to pressure you Coral, I just don’t want you to be on your own.” I think about George’s offer for a moment, the food sounds amazing and I already know how much of a wonderful chef Phil is, but wouldn’t it just feel really awkward staying here?
I decide it would, but then I think it would be rude to say no – What to do?
Then it hits me. “Ok, I’ll be honest. I don’t want to stay. I never sleep too well in other people’s beds. But I think most people like the comfort of their own bed.” George nods in agreement. “But I’d love to stay for the meal and a movie if that’s ok, I mean that’s not rude is it George?”
George starts chuckling at me. “Oh Coral, you are such a sweetie.” I frown at him, shake my head in disagreement and sip more brandy. “Now, I’m going to inform Phil we will be three for tea, then I’m taking the dogs for an evening walk. Would you like to join me?”
I nod my head. “Yes please.”
“Alright, back in a moment.” George says and steps out of his office. Whoa! That was a weird session. Ok, I got it out about being raped, but I’m more mind blown about Tristan – Am I in love with him? Do I really want to date – “Coral.” George calls, pulling me from my musing. I drain the last of the brandy, put down the glass and skip out of his office.
Half an hour later we step back into the house. The walk was quiet refreshing and blew the cobwebs away. George hasn’t asked me anymore about what I told him, which I’m grateful for. In-fact, he and Phil seem to be on fine form, and are determined to make this a fun, relaxed evening.
I AM FULL TO THE POINT OF BURSTING. I ate far too much Moules Marinieres – George was right, Phil did way too much – and I ate far too much French baguette too, but dipping it in that delicious sauce that Phil made was just too good to resist – A lot like Tristan.
I haven’t gone too mad with the wine. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of George, and I already have enough brandy swishing around inside me. When I’ve finally helped Phil clean up in the kitchen – after a lot of arguing and debating whether I should – he tops up all our wine glasses and I guiltily follow them into their snug. George turns the ambient lighting down low as Phil switches on the T.V and the DVD player. I instantly feel as though I’m intruding.
“Um...I think I might’ – “Sit down.” George barks.
“Honestly woman, you should do as he says,” Phil says winking at me. I smile back at him and curl up on the end of the large, plush leather sofa.
Phil and George get comfy too, both propping their feet up onto the matching leather footstool. Then the movie starts and I’m instantly surprised. For some reason I was expecting the latest blockbuster, but no, it’s a black and white, something called ‘The Shop Around The Corner’.
“Heard of it?” Phil asks. I shake my head. “Well you know, You’ve Got Mail?”
“Tom Hanks,” I nod. “He’s awesome.” I roll my eyes at myself – Of course you think he’s awesome Coral, he’s your favourite actor!
“Yes,” Phil smiles. “This is the original,” he says then turns back to the face the screen. Well what d’ya know, I did not know there was an original to that film.
As the movie begins I already know that the main actor is James Stewart, but I’m not sure of the woman and I should, I’ve watched enough black and whites with Gladys in my time.
“Who’s the actress?” I whisper to Phil.
“Margaret Sullavan,” he whispers back. “She didn’t make many films, preferred the stage.”
“Oh!” That explains that then. I relax back into the sofa, slowly sipping my wine and completely lose myself in the movie...
TWO HOURS LATER THE MOVIE ENDS. I sigh blissfully, stretching my legs as I do.
“Enjoy that?” Phil asks. I nod vigorously.
“Yeah, it was really good, you can't beat the oldies.” I chuckle.
“I quite agree.” Phil turns to George who is softly snoring on the sofa and leans down to wake him.
“Don’t wake him.” I whisper.
“Ok, you sure you won’t stay? You’re more than welcome.”
“No Phil, but thank you. I had a lovely evening, and your cooking was just delicious.” I rub my belly in appreciation.
He chuckles at me. “I’m glad you liked it.”
I silently follow him out of the snug. Once we are back in the kitchen Phil calls me a taxi, while I check my mobile for messages – Nothing! Damn it Rob why haven’t you called or text me?
I try not to get angry at him or think the worst, but we keep in constant contact and I haven’t heard from him for two and a half days now – that just isn’t Rob’s normal behavior? I decide after Lily’s party, I’m going up to their place and knock down the door if I have to – I want some answers, I can't go through this worry if there’s no need. As we are stood in the kitchen waiting for the taxi, Phil hands me his cucumber eye gel, which he has been getting me to apply all evening, apparently it takes away puffy eyes.
“Take it,” he says. “Put a load on before you get into bed, and in the morning when you wake, no-one will know,” he adds.
“Thanks Phil.” We hear the taxi pull up, Phil opens the door and air kisses both my cheeks again. I get into the taxi and wave happily at him as the car pulls away.
WHEN I GET BACK TO MY STUDIO I instantly dive towards the air-con and switch it onto full. Today has been swelteringly hot and going straight to George’s from work has allowed the studio to get to melting point. I feel dog tired again and I’m surprised that when I check the time it half past twelve. I really feel like a long hot shower to relax my aching muscles from swimming hard this morning, and I know it will help me feel better. But I also have a nagging feeling that the nightmare might return, and the last thing I want to do is turn up at Lily’s birthday party, looking and feeling like shit.
So, against my better judgment, I pull out the bottle of Night Nurse and take two large glugs of it knowing full well that by the time I’ve showered, and curled up in bed it will have kicked in, and I’ll be out for the count. I dash upstairs, strip my clothing, pin my hair up and pull on my robe. In the shower I take my time, letting the hot water cascade across my tense shoulders, down my back, turning around I let it warm my breasts and my slightly swollen abdomen.
Tutt, tutt naughty Coral! That’s too much bread and pasta for you! I chuckle back at myself – Yeah but it was so worth it! I think I may have to ask Phil to show me how to make that dish, then I think it might be dangerous – I may make it too often and turn into a big fat bloater.
I chuckle again and turn off the shower. Just as I open the door and reach for my towel I feel myself wobble slightly – Uh-Oh! Drugs kicking in!
I carefully step out, dry myself off as quickly as I can, wrap my robe back around myself and head out the bathroom. As I pass the air-con I decide to leave it on low for the night. I’m going to give myself a rare lie-in tomorrow, and I don’t want the heat waking me up. I groggily make my way back up the stairs unpinning my hair as I go, feeling more and more sleepy with each step I take. As I reach my bedroom, I strip my robe off me and collapse onto the bed, curling up, I pull my quilt over me so that it’s covering my torso, leaving my legs free and slip easily into a deep and dreamless sleep...
I HEAR A STRANGE KNOCKING NOISE. I turn over in my bed trying to make the funny noise go away, but it won’t. I hear it again, the strange tapping noise. I groan and slam my hand over my alarm clock, but that makes no difference either. My eyes flutter open, sunlight is flooding into my bedroom. I’m totally disorientated and I still feel so sleepy.
I turn over and hide my head under the duvet, I just want to go back to sleep, but I can't help glancing at my alarm clock, 10.15am – Shit! I’m late for work! I go into a full blown panic attack and scramble out of bed, stubbing my toe in the process.
“Shit!” Ouch that really hurt. I start hopping on one foot then I freeze. I can hear voices down on the sundeck?
“Coral, can you hear me
darling?” Knock, knock, knock.
“Gladys?” I question, not understanding why she’s here. Then it all comes flooding back to me, it’s Saturday – Shit Lily’s party, Gladys is picking me up, Shit!
I grab my robe wrap it around me, and dash down the stairs. I am mortified. Gladys and Malcolm are stood on the sundeck, they look like they are being baked alive – How long have they been there? I scramble for my keys out of my bag, dash over and un-lock the patio door, yanking it open in the process, the heat almost knocking me over as I do.
“Sorry, sorry...come in,” I usher with my hands. “Mornin’ Bob,” I grab hold of him and pull him in too, as he’s stood there looking as though he doesn’t know what to do with himself, I slam the door shut. Then I dash over to the air-con and switch it onto full power. As I turn back around I see Malcolm and Bob exchange a smirk.
“What’s that?” Gladys asks, fanning herself.
“Air-con’ it’ll soon cool down,” I say feeling guilty. “Sorry, overslept, help yourselves to drinks.” I say as I walk into the bathroom and slam the door behind me. Oh god, how embarrassing!
Then I see myself in the mirror – Holy crap! My hair literally looks like I’ve been electrocuted, it’s sticking up all over the place – What the hell did I do in my sleep last night? No time - no time to think about that, shower Coral – Right yes shower! Just as I turn it on another thought comes to mind – Damn it! I yank the bathroom door back open and see that Malcolm is already making drinks for everyone.
“Coffee Coral?” He’s trying so hard not to laugh.
“No thanks, Gladys!” I screech.
“What!?” She jumps half a mile and stares back at me in wonder.
“I didn’t wrap the presents!” I bellow.
“Coral!” She softly scolds.
“I know, I know, terrible aunty and all that. But it’s not just mine,” I say frantically lifting the bags that hold the presents from the side of my sofa. “It’s mine, Bobs and Rob’s,” I squeak.
“Alright darling calm down, I’ll wrap, you shower.” Gladys soothes. I finally breathe.
“Oh...good...ok, thanks Gladys.” I say my heart settling down. I hand her the wrapping paper, sellotape and scissors.
“Which is which?” Gladys asks, I quickly point out who’s bought what, then dash over to the kitchenette, grab a large glass and fill it with my pre-made veggie juice.
“That looks disgusting.” Bob pipes up.
“It good for you,” I bark back.
I hear him chuckling hard as I dash back into the bathroom and slam the door shut. I have the quickest shower on record, cream my skin from head to toe, apply my makeup, add coconut-oil to my hair, pull my robe back on and dash back upstairs.
Twenty minutes later I am ready and making one last check in the mirror. Gladys, Malcolm and Bob are relaxing downstairs discussing the merits of air-conditioning and sounding very relaxed. I’ve decided to go casual because it’s a kid’s party, and well truthfully, I need to take a visit to the launderette. So I pulled on my only pair of jean shorts that I’ve had forever, as it’s too hot for jeans, a t-shirt and my flip-flops.
Grabbing my hoody just in-case it gets chilly later, I make my way down the stairs. “Ready,” I say still feeling flustered. Malcolm and Bob both stand, I walk over to them, giving them both a kiss on the cheek and a normal un-rushed good morning. Then I turn to Gladys and hug her hard.
“Thank you,” I say again.
Gladys chuckles and pats me on the back. “Well come on then, we’re late as it is.”
I grab my bag and my keys, leaving the air-con on low we all usher out of the studio. I notice Malcolm has hold of the presents – I roll my eyes at myself, that would have been the next thing I would have forgotten. Locking the door behind me we all turn to make our way to the car.
Walking in front of me Gladys links her arm in Malcolm’s and for a moment I feel a pang of jealousy – Why can't I be that free and happy? I guess Bob must have picked up on it because he stops, and holds his arm out to me with a big smile on his face. I smile back at him and curl my arm around his; I’m instantly surprised by how firm his arm feels.
“Bob, do you work out?” I ask, finding my sunglasses and popping them on.
“Yes, every morning.” He smiles.
“Really, what do you do?” I ask feeling quite shocked.
“Calisthenics.” What?
“Oh!” I say not wanting to say I don’t know what that is. But Bob is too wise for that, he chuckles again and pats my hand.
“Squats, press-ups, crunches, that sort of thing,” he says. I decide the moment I’m home I’ll check it out on the web.
“Cool, good for you. You can tell,” I say squeezing the muscle on his arm.
“A compliment,” Bob says raising his chin in the air. “Sure feel proud to have you on my arm Coral.” He’s such a smoothie.
“Ah Bob, me too,” I say and kiss his cheek again. I wish he were my Granddad!
We make it to the car at a much slower pace than we would have done, Bob maybe fit but he doesn’t walk as quickly as he used to.
“Gladys, have you told Debs yet?” I ask wondering if she’s shared their news.
“No darling, taken the ring off,” she says wiggling her hand at me.
“Oh, ok!” I frown, wondering why she hasn’t, it seems a little odd to me. “When are you going to tell her?” I enquire.
“Soon,” she answers. Humph! “Gosh, isn’t it such a beautiful day for the barbeque,” Gladys smiles, changing the subject.
“Barbeque?” I frown.
“Yes dear, you know what they’re like. They asked Lily if she wanted sandwiches, ice-cream and jelly and she said no, she wanted Daddy’s burgers,” Gladys chuckles. “Ten years older than she is that one!” I roll my eyes, how spoilt. If it had been my kid they would have got what they got. Hey-ho! Everybody’s different I guess.
As we head west on the A259 towards Worthing, I let my mind drift. Gladys and Bob are in animated discussion about some political thing going on and I am not interested in the slightest, people get so agitated about all that stuff. Life’s stressful enough without barking on about what some fat cat in a suit has been up to.
I think about Rob and the fact that I still haven’t heard from him, even after sending him a quick text in the car last night and again this morning while I was frantically getting dressed, quite frankly, it’s just rude not to reply and let me know he’s ok.
Then I think about everything I discussed with George, finally letting him know about...I shut the door on that thought, but at least it’s out there now and I can start healing. I cross my fingers as I think about the upcoming hypnotherapy session, I really hope it works, I really do want to move on from all the crap that swirls around in my head, from all the insecure feelings that hold me back from really living life to the full, taking chances, being brave and not feeling so afraid all the time.
Thinking about it all makes me want to start the hypnotherapy straight away if I can, so I pull my mobile out my bag and send a quick message to George, he instantly texts me back saying that Cindy Crosby is away for the weekend but he has left a message, so we should hear something back on Monday.
My stomach drops, what if I have to wait ages? I don’t want to do that? But I’m very much like that, once I get an idea in my head I go for it full force. So I text George again asking if he thinks there’s any chance I’ll get in for a session next week. He says yes, but it will more than likely be a daytime slot that’s free. I text him thanks and make a mental note to tell Joyce about it, I’m sure she’ll give me the time off that I need.
And then my mind drifts again to Tristan - Oh Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, what am I going to do about you? The dream comes back to me and I’m instantly transported into my own little world, our little world. I still remember it all so clearly, the boat, the water, the beautiful scenery and Tristan looking like, well the sexiest man I have ever seen. But the feeling, oh that beaut
iful feeling! I have never felt so serene in my entire life, so I have to question.
Could I really have such serenity? Could I really feel that blissfully happy with Tristan? And the resounding answer is – Yes, I could.
I swallow hard at that thought. My head starts to argue with me of course, all the usual stuff, that I’m not good enough, that I’m un-lovable, that I’m a freak and how could such a gorgeous, successful man be interested in the likes of me?
I’m nothing, I’m – “Stop,” I shout out loud scolding myself. Malcolm slams on the break and we all lurch forward, luckily there’s no-one behind us, so we don’t get hit. “Sorry, sorry!” I frantically say, Malcolm pulls over and lets the car idle.
“Are you alright Coral?” he asks turning in his seat, appraising me.
I run my hands through my hair. “Yeah, I’m fine...I was just talking out loud. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for you to...” I shake my head at myself. I can see he’s trying to work out if I really am ok.
“Coral that was really silly,” Gladys shouts. “You almost gave me a heart-attack, and we could have had an accident!” She bellows.
“I know, I know.” I say feeling guilty. Malcolm pulls back out into traffic and I decide to keep a lid on my wayward thinking. But five minutes in, they continue their discussion on the economy and the state of the EU, and I’m drifting off again...So what conclusion did I come to?
I think all these stupid things about myself but should I let that stop me, or should I just give Tristan a go, have a date with him? My hands start to shake in nervous anticipation, just thinking about it being real makes me feel a little nauseous.
Ok, so maybe I could do that, but what about...sex? What about when that time comes, I made Justin wait way too long, would Tristan wait? Somehow I doubt that, then I doubt that doubt. If a man really cares for a woman and an attachment is growing between them, then doesn’t he also have respect for that woman? And if he does, then wouldn’t he want to go at her pace? What are you talking about Coral? How many times have you imagined having sex with him?
CORAL (A Romance Trilogy, Book 1) Page 27