“Why?” I ask incredulously.
“Because I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you,” he croaks huskily again.
“You know it’s forever?” I ask. “You’re totally sure, one hundred percent?” I whisper.
“Yes,” he whispers back. “And I’ll remind you every day, for the rest of our lives if that’s how long it takes to convince you.”
I place my hands on his cheeks and rest my forehead against his then close my eyes. I want to believe, I really do. And maybe Tristan is right, I just need to build trust and keep believing that he’ll stay.
“My Grandfather said he knew,” he whispers, I open my eyes and lock onto his. “He met Gran at a dance, he told me he knew the moment their eyes met that she was the one. She said no of course, gave him the run around for ages. Apparently he was a bit of a bad boy back then, always flirting with other girls, so Gran told me, and she knew she didn’t want to be with a cheater. Then one day she said yes to a date and well history tells the rest.
“Gramps told me on that first date he knew he would never get to be with her unless he changed his ways, that it was time to grow up, be a man, so he did. And from that day on he only had eyes for Gran.” I nod solemnly. Their story is a lovely one, but I doubt either of them had anything close to the fears and the issues I deal with.
“How do you feel?” He asks.
“Overwhelmed,” I answer honestly.
“One step at a time,” he whispers.
“Yeah,” I gush. “I...I guess I stopped believing in happy endings a long time ago. I really struggle with it Tristan, it’s taken years for me to believe I’m even worthy of love, let alone getting my dream man in my life.”
“I’m your dream man?” He beams. I shake my head at him playfully.
“Oops! Guess I shouldn’t have told you that one.” I smile shyly at him.
Tristan shrugs. “You’re my dream girl, so I guess we’re even.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
“Your dream girl is a nutcase like me?” I ask dryly.
Tristan’s eyebrows knit together, his gaze staring down at the bed, then he takes a deep breath and meets my worried eyes. “You are loveable Coral, and just as worthy of love as everybody else. So start believing it baby, cause you’re going to be getting bucket loads of it, better get used to it,” he chortles kissing me hard on the lips, then again and again laughing as he does.
I can’t help giggling back and playfully kissing him too, until we are rudely interrupted by an alarm beeping. Tristan leans over, picks up his mobile and switches it off.
“Back to reality I guess.” I go to get out of bed, but Tristan stops me.
“Five more minutes. I kind of like all that kissing,” he chuckles. I lean into him again, pressing my lips against his and we continue where we left off...
I AM SAT DOWNSTAIRS WAITING FOR TRISTAN to come back from the hotel, he insisted he get ready there, I don’t know why? But before he left, he made me a cup of tea, which I am sat drinking, and it’s perfectly done. But he did make me stand by him, so I could show him how I like it made, and wouldn’t you know it, turns out we both like it made the same – Three squeezes of the tea-bag, a drop of milk no sugar – Crazy eh!
I take my mobile out my bag and check to see if I have any messages, although I didn’t hear it beep last night, but I’m still hoping I’ll hear from Carlos or Rob – Niente! Damn it Rob Text me! – Tristan said I should just give him some time, and that he’s sure to come around when he’s ready.
I sigh heavily and against my better judgement, I type up a text.
*Hey Robster – Please let me know you’re ok? I’m worried about you. I’m working from home so pop round if you want to. Love Cx*
I press send and hope that I’ll hear back from him soon, it’s really bugging me what it could be. I hear the patio door slide open, so I put my mobile in my bag and stand up ready to leave. But all the air gets knocked out of me when I see Tristan. He’s suited and booted in his dark blue pin-striped suit, the very same one he was wearing when we met.
“Going somewhere sexy?” I exhale. Feeling my blood pumping through my veins – Damn he looks hot, much hotter than the first time I saw him wearing that! Maybe it’s because I know him now?
Tristan’s eyebrows raise and his sexy smile appears. “Sexy eh?” He says reaching me. He smells so good, aftershave, and Tristan scent mixed together. It’s so potent! It should be classed as a hazard to women!
He leans down his lips brushing mine softly, and I realise that I’ve missed him. He’s only been gone half an hour and I’ve missed him, badly. A sinking feeling spreads within me, this isn’t normal, surely? How the hell am I going to feel when he’s gone? Feeling empty and deprived of him even though he’s stood in front of me, I deepen the kiss, forcing his lips apart and finding his tongue. He tastes of toothpaste and coffee, and I’m glad Tristan hasn’t pulled away, afraid of hurting my nose again. It’s a very long, amazing, wonderful kiss, I feel like I’m on cloud nine, all heady and light.
“You really shouldn’t do that,” he says his cheeky grin spreading across his face.
“Do what?” I ask breathlessly.
“Kiss me like that, or we’ll never make it out of here.”
“Sounds good to me,” I wrap my arms around his neck. Tugging on his hair, I push his lips harder against mine.
Tristan pulls back, I frown. “Careful baby, your nose.”
“It’s fine.” I gripe and pull on his hair again. Tristan takes hold of my hands and brings them down in front of me. I sigh heavily and stare at the floor.
“Hey,” Tristan lifts my chin. “We have all the time in the world for that.” He grins broadly at me and kisses me once more, but it’s a quick, soft tender kiss.
I sigh inwardly. I’m not so sure about that.
“Come on or we’ll be late,” he says, tugging on my hand. Stepping outside, I notice it’s yet another scorching hot day. I’m sure Tristan is just melting in that sexy suit of his. Just as I’m locking the patio door my mobile starts ringing.
Pulling it out of my bag I notice it’s Rob – Yes!
“Hey Robster, I’m so glad you called,” I breathe.
“Coral, I’m just calling to let you know Carlos and I will be away for a couple of weeks,” he states grimly.
“W-why, where are you going?” I ask feeling shocked by this news.
“To his parents,” he answers.
“In Spain?” I gasp.
“Yeah…”
“Why? Oh Rob won’t you tell me’ – “I’m coming to see you when we get back.” He interrupts.
“You are?”
“Yes, there’s going to be some changes...I...” Rob chokes up again. I feel myself start to crumble. Something is really, really wrong.
“I’m here for you always, whatever it is,” I tell him my voice trembling.
“I know,” he whispers.
“I’ll miss you,” I tell him.
“Me too,” he croaks.
“Tell Carlos I miss him too won’t you?”
“C-Coral...” He whispers, his voice laced with pain. My heart constricts for him – Oh Rob, please tell me what’s wrong! “I’d better go,” he quickly adds.
“Ok, love you Rob,” I say fighting against the lump in my throat.
“Love you too.” He croaks.
“Safe flight,” I whisper.
“Bye.” He hangs up. So something major is up, I was right all along. I turn to Tristan and wrap my arms around him, he grips me tightly.
“Did he say?” I shake my head.
“They’re going away for a couple of weeks.” I frown hard trying to figure it all out. Why would they go to Spain? They don’t even get on with Carlos’s dad that well, he’s very old fashioned, doesn’t really understand that being gay is nature, not nurture. He thinks Carlos is doing this to piss him off. Tristan squeezes me tighter and kisses the top of my head.
“We have to move Co
ral.” I pull out of his arms and swipe at the tears that have fallen. Tristan takes my hand, and in a daze I walk along the concourse, deep in thought.
As we reach the Gym I’m about to ask Tristan how we’ll be getting to the Doctors when I see Stuart pull up. Tristan opens my door for me and I slide in the backseat.
“Morning Stuart,” I sniff.
“Miss Stevens,” he nods. “Are you feeling any better?” he politely asks as Tristan slips in beside me.
“Yeah, much better thanks. It was agony at the time.”
“I bet it was,” he answers pulling out onto the main road.
As the car moves smoothly through traffic, I notice Ed Sheeran’s Lego House is playing on the radio, I love this song. I turn and smile at Tristan.
“I love this song,” he says.
“Me too,” I smile back at him – How we think and feel, it seems so synchronized, we seem so in tune with one another. Tristan picks up my hand and kisses it. I shake my head and gaze out the window. I'm trying so hard not to fall for this guy. But I'm really starting to think it’s too late...
I AM SAT INSIDE A VERY POSH EXAMINATION ROOM. Tristan is in the corner, flicking through a newspaper, while I’m sitting on a very high tech examination table, being examined by a man called Dr Andrews, he really isn’t what I was expecting at all. He looks younger than me, has jet black hair, deeply set brown eyes and is quite frankly, a hunk as Debs would say, in-fact he reminds me of Keanu Reeves – Bet he’s gonna get all the ladies after him!
“Well Coral, you’re healing up nicely.” Dr Andrews smiles.
“Good.” I smile up at him.
“Are you getting any dizzy spells, blurry vision?” I shake my head. “Good, any headaches?”
“No, my nose is just tender from being bumped so hard…” And when Tristan is kissing me. I glance across at him – I really could ogle at him all day and not get bored.
“Yes, that’s to be expected. Just take some Aspirin or Ibuprofen, but if anything changes come back and see me straight away.”
“Ok.” I look across at Tristan again - I feel ridiculous in my jeans and t-shirt while he sits their looking like a gozillianaire!
“Well you’re all done.” Dr Andrews smiles.
“Thanks,” I say and jump down off the examination table.
“Ready to go?” Tristan asks.
“Yep.” Tristan shakes Dr Andrews hand.
“Thank you for fitting us in at such short notice.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he says reaching his hand out to me – Fuck it, he doesn’t seem slimy! – I take his hand in mine and we shake. I sigh with relief, his hand is cool and dry. He hands Tristan a card and we leave his very plush office.
Tristan takes hold of my hand again. “Why do you do that?” I ask.
“What?”
“Hold my hand?”
He shrugs. “I like it.” I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but I decide to let it go. Whatever those reasons might be, I don’t care. It feels really, really, good. Tristan hands me Dr Andrews card, I shove it in my bag. “Did you like him?” Tristan asks frowning down at me.
“Who?” I ask, bewildered.
“Dr Andrews.”
I smile up at him. “What makes you ask that?”
“You shook his hand,” he says darkly.
“Oh…well, he…he didn’t seem slimy,” I whisper, frowning at the floor.
“Hmm.” Tristan doesn’t seem convinced.
“Tristan, if you’re jealous, I’ll tell you now. You have no need to be.”
He smiles wryly at me, squeezes my hand, and we continue walking out of the plush building, and into the blinding morning light. Stuart pulls up outside the building, Tristan opens my door for me again, and just as I’m about to lean down I freeze – Was that Rob’s car?
I instantly straighten up trying to get a better view over the roof of the Jaguar. But I can’t see where it went, and I couldn’t really see if it was Rob driving?
“Coral.” Tristan touches my elbow bringing me back to him. “You ok?” I nod and frown in the direction of the car park. If that was Rob’s car, what is he doing here, in the hospital car park? I slide into the Jag in a daze. I can’t decide whether to text him or not, to find out if he was there? Then I think even if he was, would he deny it?
My stomach drops then turns over. What if Rob’s sick? I shake the thought away. No way, if he was he would tell me. Maybe he was visiting a friend or something, if it was him at all.
“Coral, what’s on your mind?” Tristan says pulling me from my musing. I notice we are on the move again.
“I thought I just saw Rob’s car?” He is watching me with worried eyes. I think about how I would be reacting to Rob’s behaviour if Tristan wasn’t with me. I’d be climbing the walls, I would have to know. I would have knocked down his door by now to get to the truth. I pull out my mobile and I’m about to text Rob when it starts ringing, it’s George.
“Hi George.”
“Good morning Coral. I thought I’d let you know that I’ve spoken to Cindy, she can get you in for a regular session with me on Tuesdays at 5pm.”
“So I’ll see her tomorrow, before you?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“My place.”
“Really, that’s great George. You’re an angel, thank you so much,” I gush feeling utterly grateful.
“You’re more than welcome,” he says. “Did Lily have a nice birthday?” I groan and tell him all about our little coming together, which makes me think of the hospital, then seeing Rob.
“Hey George, you haven’t heard from Carlos or Rob have you?”
“Not directly, but we had friends over last night. Apparently they’re off to Spain for a couple of weeks, it’s alright for some isn’t it,” he laughs.
“Yeah,” I smile not really feeling it reach me. “Did they see them before they left?”
“No I don’t think so, well they didn’t really say. Why?”
“Nothing I just – “Coral don’t think the worst,” he admonishes, interrupting me.
“I know,” I sigh. “It’s just not like Rob...” I stop myself. I can go through all of this tomorrow night. “George, you’re an angel, thank you for organising that for me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes, see you tomorrow.” I smile down the line.
“Bye George.” I hang up then send a text to Rob.
*Did I just see you at Montefiore’s? Xxx*
I pop my mobile back in my bag and look up at Tristan, he looks deep in thought.
“Coral, I’m sorry but I’ve got to go into the office for a couple of hours.” Ah, so that’s why he’s suited and booted! “Stuart will take you in to see Will, and get you back to your studio,” he tells me.
I burst out laughing. “No he won’t, no offense Stu,” I offer looking at him in the rear view mirror.
“Coral don’t be difficult,” he says, exasperated.
“Difficult?” I question.
“Yes,” he snaps. I don’t know why, but Tristan’s demeanor seems to have changed since George called.
“Tristan...?” He holds one finger up to me. My mouth presses into a hard line. I can't help gritting my teeth at him. A minute later Stuart pulls up outside the office. Tristan nods to him, leaving the engine running, Stuart steps outside.
“What’s that all about?” I ask.
“He’s giving us some privacy,” he answers.
“Oh!” I swallow hard. Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong?
Tristan turns in his seat so he’s facing me and takes my hand in his. “I really want Stuart to’ – “Tristan don’t. I’m quite capable of getting myself home from the gym. Don’t treat me like an injured animal, it’ll just piss me off!”
“Ok.” Tristan holds his hands up in the air in defeat.
“Is that all?” I snipe feeling annoyed at him. Tristan stares ahead contemplating what he’s got on his mind. “Oh for heaven’s sa
ke Tristan just spit it out!”
“You have your therapist tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“And someone else?” Why oh why did he have to hear that.
I sigh heavily. “Yes.”
“Who?”
“What?”
“Coral, I want to make sure you’re’ – “She’s a hypnotherapist,” I blurt in frustration.
“A...a hypnotherapist?” he stutters. “Why would you need one of...” Tristan trails off and stares into space. Finally he turns to me, and runs a cool, soft finger down my cheek, then takes my hands in his and entwines our fingers. “Give me your word that you’ll tell me....one day,” he adds.
“I...I can’t Tristan, I can’t guarantee you that,” I croak.
“Why not?” he asks, his voice low and husky.
“Because I don’t want to let you down,” I mumble. “I don’t know if I have the courage to...” I stare down at our entwined fingers. “Can we talk about this another time, I’d like to get home,” I snap.
My nose hurts, I’m hungry and I don’t want to assess how I’m really feeling about Tristan. He wants so much from me, and I don’t know if I can give that back to him. I cross my arms and pout. Tristan purses his lips, then frowns deeply and narrows his eyes at me.
“Coral, why do I get the feeling that you’re going to say goodbye, and I won’t see it coming?” He asks, his voice shaking slightly. Shit!
I shake my head and run my hand through my hair. “I don’t know,” I lie, turning to stare out the window. I can’t look at him, if I do I’ll crack, and I don’t want him to know the real depravity of my feelings.
I’m deeply scarred by the events of my past, and he doesn’t know how deep those scars run. I feel like a have an internal battle raging within me, and I already have enough battle wounds. I don’t think I could take anymore, and falling for Tristan is starting to make me realise how deep those wounds go.
My heart is broken, torn in two, it needs stitching back together, but I don’t know how to do that. I’m not even sure if it will ever heal completely, and I’m starting to realise that if I really let Tristan in, and it goes wrong, my heart will snap in two and I’ll never repair from it. I’ll be a broken fuck up, just like my mother, and I just don’t think I can take that risk.
CORAL (A Romance Trilogy, Book 1) Page 38