by Cara Malone
Lily and Mercedes settled into a wide loveseat together in front of the fireplace, and Jace and his wife sat nearby on the couch. The four of them talked easily about Lily’s pregnancy, Jace’s recent promotion, and his wife’s lucrative side business selling hand-beaded jewelry. Everyone was doing well for themselves and Mercedes settled happily against Lily, looping her arm proudly around her shoulder.
After a while, Lily started to nod off thanks to the excitement of the day and the warmth of the fire. Mercedes carefully extracted her arm and excused herself to the powder room, and when she came back to the den, Jace was standing in the doorway.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
“Sure,” Mercedes said. He probably wanted to discuss baby shower details – or maybe Lily’s mom had sent him on a fact-finding mission to ferret out the sex of the baby.
“In the kitchen,” he said, leading Mercedes down the hall.
When they got there, Mercedes helped herself to a cookie from one of the many trays scattered throughout the house and asked, “What’s up?”
“You’re going back to Seattle soon, right?” Jace asked, taking her off-guard.
“Yes,” she said. “In February.”
“Did you know my sister hasn’t brought a girlfriend home to meet the family since medical school?” he asked, and Mercedes began to get the distinct feeling that she was being warned.
“I did, actually,” she said.
“She hasn’t had the best luck with dating,” he went on. “It takes a lot to get her to warm up to people and I can tell that she really likes you.”
“I have to go back to Seattle,” Mercedes said. “Believe me, if there was another way-”
Not to mention the fact that your sister has already told me in no uncertain terms she doesn’t want a long-term relationship, she thought. I’ve tried.
“I know,” Jace interrupted her. “All I’m asking is that you please be careful with her heart when you go. Whether she wants to admit it or not, she’s attached to you, and the baby only complicates things even further.”
Mercedes put her hand on Jace’s shoulder. “You’re a good man to be concerned for your sister. I care about her deeply and I promise I will do everything I can not to hurt her.”
He nodded, satisfied that he’d said his piece, and then led the way back to the den. While she followed him, Mercedes felt her chest getting tight because she wasn’t sure she could keep that promise. How could she leave without breaking them both?
Lily was stirring on the couch when she got back, wiping the sleep from her eyes. “Where did you go?”
“Just to get another one of your mom’s amazing cookies,” Mercedes said. “You look tired. Should we go back to your place and get some rest?”
“Yeah,” Lily said, holding her hands up for Mercedes to help her out of the loveseat. “Let’s go home.”
16
Lily
“Come on,” Mercedes said, pulling Lily by the hand toward the large cabin in the middle of a beautifully smooth, snow-covered clearing where her baby shower awaited her. “If I don’t get you there exactly on time, your mother will never speak to me again.”
“Nonsense,” Lily said. “She loves you.”
“I have a feeling this is one of the most important events she’s ever planned,” Mercedes said. “I’m not going to be the one to ruin it by letting the guest of honor be late.”
Lily smiled. It was true – her mother had been planning the baby shower since the day Lily told her she was pregnant, and she wouldn’t be surprised to find out that her mother had binders and Pinterest boards full of ideas for years before that. Her mother wasn’t one to be caught off-guard and her whole family had been waiting a long time for Lily to finally make her family dreams come true.
The cabin was rustic on the outside, made from weathered logs, and a man-made creek with little stone waterfalls flowed all around it. Mercedes and Lily walked along a salted pathway and paused as they crossed a small footbridge over the stream.
“Hey,” Mercedes said, putting her hands on Lily’s waist.
“Hey,” Lily smiled. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“I just wanted to tell you that the last seven months have been the best of my life.” She stopped, opened her mouth, then closed it again.
“What?” Lily pressed.
“I’ve been fighting with myself over this for months now,” Mercedes said. “I feel like I shouldn’t say it because I’m leaving in a couple of weeks-”
“Just say it,” Lily said breathlessly. She leaned in, her lips inching closer to Mercedes’, and she was pretty sure she knew what was coming next.
“I love you,” Mercedes said. “I love you so much and I love this little one, too.”
She moved her hands to the sides of Lily’s stomach and a tingle of desire washed through Lily in the same cadence as the gently babbling brook beneath their feet. “I love you, too.” Mercedes kissed her, wrapping her arms around Lily and holding her as close as she could without encroaching on her belly. Then when she released her, Lily asked, “But what can we do? February’s going to be here before we know it, and you have to finish your research.”
“I know,” Mercedes said. “We’ll figure it out. I just couldn’t go another minute without telling you that I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Lily repeated. It felt good to say it out loud, words that she’d been repressing for a long time simply because there didn’t seem to be much point in letting them out into the world.
They belonged out there, though, not cooped up inside of her like a secret.
“I love you,” Lily said, one more time for good measure.
Mercedes laughed, kissed her again, then said, “Come on, let’s get in there before your mom sends out a search party.”
She took Lily’s hand, squeezing it, and they followed the path up to the cabin. Lily had been excited for her baby shower – her mother had invited all their distant female relatives, plus all the women in Mercedes’ family, and Lily was expecting her Lakeside friends as well as some of the friends she’d made in high school and medical school. It was going to be a crazy, overwhelming, fun day, and Lily already couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.
“I love you,” Mercedes whispered to her one more time before she pushed the door open, and the feeling of her breath on Lily’s earlobe sent a spark through her whole body. “Here we go.”
The interior of the cabin looked nothing like the exterior. Instead of a rustic vibe, it was elegant with white fabric draped around every window and crisp linens on the dozen round tables Lily’s mother had set up throughout the room. There were golden yellow ranunculus flower bouquets on the center of every table, enormous, round blooms that had always been some of Lily’s favorites. A gift table was set up near the door, already overflowing with presents, and a half-dozen waiters were circulating through the room with mimosas and iced tea in glass flutes.
“Wow,” Mercedes said, her eyes going wide. “Your mom really did go all-out.”
“It’s what she does best,” Lily said with a smile.
She spotted Krys and Darcy at one of the round tables with Megan and Alex beside them. Chloe had her arm looped in Sarah’s and was chatting with Lily’s college roommate near the appetizer bar. They were too far away to catch the conversation, but Lily could guess that Chloe was in her element and attempting to play matchmaker.
“Should we go say hello?” Mercedes asked.
“Yeah,” Lily said. They went over to the table and Chloe dragged Sarah, along with Lily’s old roommate, Beth, over to greet her.
“Everything is so beautiful!” Chloe said, throwing her arms around Lily. “I’m so excited for you two!”
Lily looked at Mercedes and gave her a wry smile. You two… nothing had changed about the logistical nightmare they were mired in, but you two didn’t sound half-bad.
“Where’s Ivy?” she asked.
“In surgery,” Krys supplied
. “I checked on her before I left the hospital – she was doing a simple appendectomy but there were complications. She’ll be here as soon as she can.”
“Good,” Lily said. She looked around and laughed, adding, “I guess this is officially the Lakeside Hospital table.”
“Yeah, you should probably make some friends outside of work,” Megan joked.
Lily and Mercedes didn’t get to stay there long before her mom came over and gave her a big hug, then swept her away to say hello to all the other guests. Mercedes tagged along behind her, and it took almost twenty minutes to make it through all the tables.
There were some awkward questions, especially among Lily’s older and more traditional relatives – So the father’s not going to be in the picture? You were already pregnant when the two of you met? Why aren’t you married? Mercedes took all of it like a champ right beside Lily, and by the time the catering staff started to carry out the light lunch Lily’s mother had arranged, Lily was ready to sit.
Mercedes guided her over to a rectangular table at the front of the room, where there were places for the two of them and Lily’s parents. Her brothers and their families were sitting at a round table not far away, along with Mercedes’ mother and Jewel’s family.
“How are you doing?” Mercedes asked when she saw the exhausted look on Lily’s face.
“I forgot how tiring it can be to see your entire extended family in one day,” Lily said. She took Mercedes’ hand and said, “But I’m great as long as you’re by my side.”
Lily’s dad came and sat down with them after a few minutes, and then the caterers came by and set down fancy salads in front of them. Lily’s mom was circulating throughout the room, unable to take off her event planner hat and simply enjoy the shower. While the three of them ate, Lily enjoyed the hum of conversation going on in the cabin all around them. Lily’s family mixed well with Mercedes’ and she knew her friends had begun to think of Mercedes as their own, too.
It was starting to feel real – like Lily was building more than just a little family of two. She had an incredible woman and all the familial and friendly support she could ever ask for. Now the trick was figuring out how to make it last.
The shower was incredible and when it finally ended about three hours after it began, Lily left with Mercedes feeling more loved than she ever had before. They had about a hundred bags and boxes filled with baby necessities crammed into the back of Mercedes’ rental car, and Lily’s mom had given her a card containing a picture of the beautiful crib she’d been fantasizing about for months.
“I used the emergency housekey you gave me to let the delivery men in while Mercedes was driving you here,” she explained as the pile of gifts that surrounded Lily continued to grow. “I hope that’s okay – the crib is all ready for you when you get home today.”
“Thank you, Mom,” Lily had said, draping her arms around her mom’s shoulders and giving her the best hug she could manage with her ever-growing belly between them.
That was the first room Lily went to when she and Mercedes got home – the nursery that she’d been slowly putting together over the last seven months was really beginning to take shape now that there was a crib in the center of it. She leaned in the doorway, admiring the space, and Mercedes joined her with an armload of boxes from the car. She set them down in a neat stack along the wall.
“What do you think?” she asked, coming over and putting her arm around Lily.
“I think it looks like a family lives here,” she said.
“I’ll help you get all the clothes and toys put away in a little while,” Mercedes said, turning Lily to face her. “But first, I’ve got one other thing in mind.”
She led Lily down the hall to her bedroom, folding Lily protectively in her arms as they moved together. When she paused at the light switch near the door, Lily put her hand on top of Mercedes.
“Do you love me, really?” she asked.
“I told you I did,” Mercedes said. She kissed her again with all the passion she could muster, then said, “I do – I love you.”
“Leave the light on, then,” Lily said. Her voice was shaky and when Mercedes asked if she was sure, she said that she was even though she’d never been more uncertain in her life.
Mercedes led her over to the bed and lay her down on it, crawling up beside her and saying, “Just say pineapple if you change your mind.”
“Okay,” Lily said. “I trust you.”
“Good,” Mercedes said, running her fingertips gently over the curves of Lily’s temple, then down her cheeks and over her jaw. “I would never hurt you.”
Lily stayed on her back while Mercedes crawled down to the foot of the bed and slowly pulled at the stretchy, wide waistband on Lily’s maternity pants. Lily tilted her head, watching as Mercedes drew them down over her thighs. The cool bedroom air hit her bare legs and her skin stood up in goosebumps – not because she was cold, but because she was afraid to move, afraid to breathe.
How many times had she thought she could fall in love with someone, only to have them break her heart? She said I love you to girlfriends only twice before, but she’d never meant it the way she did when she said it to Mercedes.
She closed her eyes as Mercedes put her hand on her right thigh, just above her knee. Lily focused on her breathing as Mercedes’ hand crept higher, slowly exploring the rough terrain that betrayed her childhood pain.
When she felt Mercedes’ lips on her skin, gently kissing inward and upward over her thigh, Lily opened her eyes.
Mercedes raised her head and their eyes met. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, Lily. Are you okay?”
Lily reached down and pulled Mercedes up the bed to meet her. “Yes. I’m okay, but only if you make love to me right now.”
Mercedes didn’t have to be told twice. She lowered her head to meet Lily’s lips, softly but urgently. She did all the work, letting Lily lay back and relax as Mercedes’ mouth and hands ventured all over her body.
She was gentle, but she didn’t avoid Lily’s thigh. As she settled between her legs, Mercedes kissed and nibbled at the insides of both of her thighs, making Lily draw in a sharp, surprised breath. No one had ever touched her there before, but Mercedes took her time and let Lily settle into the sensation.
With every slow touch, her body awakened to Mercedes and she allowed herself to let go. She let go of all those years of fierce self-protection, and all the fears of rejection she’d held onto so tightly. It felt so right, like Mercedes was the woman she’d been waiting her whole life for – the woman who could set her free.
They made slow, sensual love, and as she came, Lily found tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Hey,” Mercedes said as soon as she noticed them. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want this to end,” Lily said, her words turning to blubbering as she allowed the tears to fall freely. “You weren’t supposed to make me fall in love with you. This was just supposed to be fun and now that you’re leaving, it’s not fun anymore.”
“I know,” Mercedes said, wrapping Lily up in her arms. “I wish I didn’t have to go. The whole preeclampsia study is riding on the next few weeks, though – I don’t have a choice.”
“I know,” Lily said. “I’m not asking you to stay – I’m just cursing the universe for how unfair all of this is. I waited so long to find the right woman, and now that I finally found you, I only got to be with you for a few months. I guess that’s better than never finding true love at all, right?”
Mercedes turned Lily’s face to meet hers, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her thumbs. “I’m coming back to Evanston the minute that study gets wrapped up. I’m coming back and we’ll pick up right where we left off, okay?”
Lily knit her brows in surprise. “You want to give up your life in Seattle for me?”
“There is no life in Seattle,” Mercedes said. “From the moment I fell in love with you, the only life I have is right here with you. I know you think long-
distance relationships don’t work, but we’re going to make it work, okay? And I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Promise?” Lily asked. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she’d never wanted anything more in her life – well, she’d wanted a family, but now that she knew what it was like to love Mercedes, she knew that her family would never be complete until they were back together.
“Yes,” Mercedes said. “I’m so sorry that I have to go, but I will come back. I have to – you’ve got my heart.” Lily threw her arms around Mercedes, nuzzling her face into her neck, and Mercedes said, “I really did not see you coming when I moved back here. If you’d asked me in June where I’d be right now, I would have said nothing could keep me from getting back to Seattle. There was nothing more important than my research, and this trip was just a stumbling block in my career.”
“And now?” Lily asked, lifting her head.
Mercedes put her hand on Lily’s stomach, smiling as the baby kicked against her palm. “Now you’re every bit as much a part of my family as my mom and sister are. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
Don’t go, then, Lily wanted to say. But it wasn’t fair – Mercedes had loose ends to tie up in Seattle. Instead, she said, “I sure as hell didn’t anticipate any of this either. But can I tell you a secret?”
“What?”
“The day I met you was the same day I went to the fertility clinic and found out I was pregnant,” Lily said. “While I was waiting for the results of my bloodwork – waiting to find out my future – I couldn’t get you out of my head. I blamed Chloe at the time because she’s always playing matchmaker, but at the back of my mind I kept thinking, What if she’s the one I’ve been waiting for, and here I am starting a family alone instead?”
“I guess things have a way of working out, then,” Mercedes said. “Because now you have it all.”