“Does Dallas know about him? The IMPO agents and office?” Sawyer asked, frowning.
“Probably not,” Elijah said and chuckled darkly, shaking his head. “But they’re about to. Poor sods are going to need to come in after us and handle him. He’s not our priority, but we need to report it. He’s not the first we’ve found and won’t be the last. Some just can’t follow the rules, and he’s a weak enough Magi where he wouldn’t climb in our world.”
“But every Magi has an advantage over a non-Magi.” Sawyer sighed. “Yeah.”
“I’ll call it in,” Jasper said with a stiff diplomacy.
“Let’s decide who’s checking out which property.” Vincent groaned. “Greg Lake, age fifty lived on a farm alone near Moran. Quinn, Zander, and Sawyer. You three can go handle that one. Jasper, Elijah, and I will look over the one here ten minutes outside of Albany. I think we should get this done sooner rather than later.”
“Are you sure we should send those three together?” Jasper asked, frowning. “Sawyer’s new to this, Zander barely follows the rules, and Quinn doesn’t at all.”
“I know,” Vincent responded. “That’s why I’m sending them.”
“What?” Sawyer narrowed her eyes on Vincent and he gave her a sly smirk.
“I want you three to put the fear of God into them if someone gives you trouble that far out. As a message, as a warning, whatever you want to call it,” Vincent chuckled. Sawyer raised an eyebrow as Elijah laughed.
“Perfect,” Elijah said with a great deal of admiration. “I’m suddenly in love with you, Vincent.”
“Please don’t be,” Vincent groaned. “Let’s get moving.”
“I’m taking Shade and Scout,” Quinn announced, leaving the room first.
As everyone got moving, Sawyer moved closer to Zander. They had barely spoken since that moment on the porch, and she was still a bit pissed at him. And his attitude on the plane? That could fuck right off.
“Ready to go?” she asked carefully, and he turned to her, and she watched a flash of anger pass through his eyes. His cheeks got a bit red and so did his ears.
‘Yeah’ was all he said before walking off to get to their Explorer. She fumed for a moment. They were on a case. She never let personal feelings affect her work before, and she wasn’t going to let it happen now that she was working with them.
She followed him, and saw Quinn loading up Shade and Scout. She climbed in as Zander started it up. They sat in silence for a long time before Sawyer groaned.
“Not here, Zander,” she told him. “Be mad at home. Be mad on the plane. Do not be mad at me here, while we’re doing this.”
“Fine,” Zander growled. “You’re right. This isn’t the time or place for it.”
“Then cut the fucking attitude,” she snapped. “This pissy shit. We haven’t had a chance to talk, and it’s got to fucking wait now.”
They went the rest of the ride in silence and passed through Moran, keeping their eyes open. It was dead little town. She counted maybe three people walking around at that particular moment.
Greg Lake’s residence was five minutes south of town and they pulled up slowly, keeping their eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary.
Too bad they had no idea what ordinary was.
“I’ll send out Shade and Scout to get an idea of what scents are around,” Quinn told them, carefully neutral through it all. She raised an eyebrow at him as Shade and Scout took off.
“We don’t know where the body was found,” Zander reminded them. “Since the sheriff didn’t bother to keep notes on fucking anything.”
“I can find it,” Quinn said quietly, and Sawyer watched him shift. He was bigger than Shade in his tan and grey wolf form. She considered touching him for just a second, just to see how soft he was. She rarely saw him this close in his wolf form.
“Lead the way.” Zander sighed. Sawyer followed with Zander as Quinn sniffed around. They put all the personal drama away for a moment and focused. The property didn’t seem to have much going on: a run-down, old home with peeling, light blue paint, and a small rotting porch. There was a gravel driveway and a few trails towards other areas of the property, but nothing major.
She wasn’t really mad at Zander, thinking about it as they just wandered. She didn’t like his attitude and anger, but she understood his hurt. He had probably convinced himself, if she judged his behavior before and after the Vincent incident, that he was her future man. And she had gone and slept with a completely different guy. An accident and a mistake that she sorely wanted to repeat.
And she didn’t want to think about how good Zander looked in the afternoon sun. His fiery red hair, those freckles, the tint of red on his cheeks. Her attraction to him made her angrier. She was angry that he was hurt because of something she did, and she still wanted to jump his bone. When he was just rowdy, passionate Zander, he was wonderful. His smile brightened the world, and he could bring a woman to her knees with a flash of those white, perfect teeth.
Too bad she also wanted to knock him on his ass half the time.
“Here,” Quinn called out. She looked away from Zander and towards Quinn. She had missed him shift back. He was pointing to a spot next to the house near the central cooling unit. “He died here. And there’s too many other scents warring with each other for me to get anything clear. Death is obvious but telling you how many people that have been here is another thing. Maybe five, maybe a dozen. I don’t know.”
“I’m going to head inside. He might have been on medications for high cholesterol or something,” Zander continued. “Quinn, go out with the boys and see if you three find something unusual on the property. Sawyer, come help me?”
“Yeah,” she said simply, following him in as Quinn took off in wolf form again.
The house was relatively clean, except for a few weeks’ worth of dust covering everything. They went to the kitchen first and began pulling open cabinets. It was a tiny kitchen and more than once, she had to squeeze around Zander, who wouldn’t give her the space.
“There’s nothing here,” he finally whispered. “Fuck. Let’s check bathrooms.”
“Alright,” she said, sighing. She followed him towards the back of the house. She stopped at a bedroom, though, and went in. There were a few places she wanted to check out. She found nothing on or in the desk, same for the bedside table. The dresser didn’t reveal much either. “Damn.”
“Yeah.” Zander sighed, walking in after she was done. “There’s nothing here. Nothing to say he was unhealthy and susceptible to a heart attack.”
“That’s it?” She motioned around. “This is all a dead end?”
“Yeah,” Zander mumbled. “Yeah, it is. And I don’t like that.”
“Me either,” Sawyer agreed. She looked to him and waited for him to tell her what was next. He instead changed the topic on her.
“How was he?” Zander asked softly, eyeing her, then looking away. She groaned.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered, Zander Wade,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. Fantastic. Vincent had been fantastic.
“Do you even know why I’m mad?” he pressed, looking at her. He looked wounded, angry, and a touch afraid. Sawyer narrowed her eyes on him.
“Because I slept with another guy,” Sawyer answered, and Zander bared his teeth at her in anything but a smile.
“No,” he growled.
“Then fucking tell me,” Sawyer snapped. “Because I can’t read your mind, Zander. God damn, I would like to be able to, but I honestly can’t. Mind reading just wasn’t an ability I was blessed with.”
“If you can’t figure it out…” Zander huffed and stormed out of the room. Sawyer was left speechless. What the actual fuck? She wanted to shake him. Strangle him. Stab him. Three S’s that would solve all her problems.
She followed him out, stomping. She had woken up yesterday after a great lay, and the amount of anger and regret she was having over it was driving her mad. She was mis
sing something. Something was eating at Zander that wasn’t Vincent, but she didn’t know what. She didn’t want to screw up on this case trying to figure it out right now. It looked like she needed to take this moment, though, to say something. She could only offer Zander what she had, because she wasn’t in the mood for more fighting.
“Zander,” she called out, as she sped up to catch him before he got to the Explorer. “Zander, listen to me.”
“Yes, Sawyer?” Zander turned back towards her and she saw the pain in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Alright? For whatever I did. You have been, and probably always will be, my best friend, even if that’s a bit complicated, currently. We fight and bicker but, in the end, we always have each other, and I don’t think that should change.” She took a breath as Zander stepped closer to her. “I don’t know, Zander. What I do know is you’re upset with me, and I’m sorry for it. I don’t like that I did-”
“Would you do it again?” Zander asked softly.
“Upset you? I would try not to,” Sawyer answered honestly. “But first you need to tell me what’s gotten you so hung up if it’s not Vincent.”
“Later,” he mumbled with that cranky edge. Then he softened, and she saw guilt come over his face. She wondered what Zander could possibly feel guilty for. “Just… later. I need to talk to someone about it first.”
“Fine,” Sawyer huffed at him, crossing her arms. “You know, I like communication. I wish you would… communicate.”
“I’m sorry I’m not perfect.” Zander grumbled. “Thank you for the apology, though.”
“Not a problem,” Sawyer replied, leaning against the Explorer.
They waited until dusk for Quinn to get back. Zander called one of the other guys at a certain point to let them know there was nothing on the property.
They were stuck. Two dead and no idea whether it was malicious or natural causes.
Sawyer didn’t like it. She was finding that she didn’t like a lot of things about Texas.
14
Zander
I’m such an ass, Zander thought to himself as he watched Sawyer jump out of the Explorer. He didn’t know how to tell her what he was feeling until he grew the balls to have a totally different conversation.
With Vincent. Probably Elijah… and maybe Quinn.
He rolled his cellphone over in his hand as he thought about that. He could probably sneak in Vincent at some point. He owed his CO and friend an apology. Elijah had told him later what all happened between Vin and Sawyer, and goddamn, it was sad. Which added a layer of Zander feeling shitty about feeling shitty. Then he had lashed out at Elijah on the plane…
Zander was all fucked in the head.
“Come on,” Jasper groaned, tapping on his window. “Get out and come inside. We’re hunkering down for the night. A couple of us are going to need to drive to Abilene for something to eat for everyone.
“We can go,” Zander mumbled. Then he saw the opportunity. “Actually… ask Vincent to come with us. We can leave Elijah, Quinn and Sawyer. Plus, we’ll need the extra hands.”
“Alright,” Jasper sighed, walking away.
It took fifteen minutes, but Zander saw Jasper and a very reluctant Vincent walk out. As they loaded in, Jasper in the front and Vincent in the back, Zander thought about how he would approach the subject.
They began the drive and Zander finally decided he would out with it.
“I wanted to talk to you since we’re in a bit of a thing. First, I’m sorry,” Zander sighed. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle. I knew you’ve been into her and she’s… well, she’s probably got a lot going on in her head. She always does.”
“Apology accepted,” Vincent said with a professional bite that made Zander wince. He’d tried to attack his CO, and then Jasper went and said something none of them would ever truly think. They knew Vincent wasn’t his brother, but it was said anyway.
“Me, too,” Jasper groaned. “I never meant what I said, Vincent. I was feeling a bit hot under the collar.”
“I know,” Vincent replied, softer this time. “You two are madly in love with her, and I… completely stepped on that.”
“I’m glad you recognize some part in this,” Jasper whispered. “Zander, we doing this?”
“Yes,” Zander groaned. “Vincent, you’ve been a close friend with us for years now. You gave us a job and made us feel like we were meant for something more past just being another body in the IMAS. If you want to be with Sawyer, you can.”
Zander heard Vincent sputter and cough, He wasn’t sure what was going through Vincent’s mind at that moment, but Zander needed to finish what he was saying.
“But you can’t push us out, either,” Zander continued. “All for one on this, and you know the saying.”
“Ah, you two have lost your minds.” Vincent laughed. “Absolutely lost them.”
“Well?” Jasper turned back towards Vincent, who kept laughing. Zander was wondering if they had just broken him. Vincent didn’t laugh like this.
“Yes,” Vincent gasped for air. “You two realize this is the only chance I would get, right?”
“What?” Zander frowned but kept his eyes on the road.
“She would never be with just me,” Vincent whispered. “Not on her life. But with you two, I might have a fucking chance.”
“She wouldn’t be with either of us on our own either,” Jasper chuckled. “Why do you think we made this plan as teens?”
“I thought you were mad at this plan. It’s the vibe I’ve been getting from you for weeks now.” Vincent sighed, and Zander chuckled this time.
“I think Zander is rushing it,” Jasper informed him. “Completely rushing it. He’s pushing her too hard, and it’ll backfire in a bad way. And I’m… I’ve got my own things to work out before I dive head first into this.”
“He is moving too fast. You are, Zander,” Vincent mumbled. “You should quit that. Especially since my success is now tied to your inability to hold your horses.”
“You’ve been hanging with us Americans for too long if you are saying ‘hold your horses’, Vincent. Elijah says that sort of country shit,” Zander laughed, ignoring Vincent’s call-out on Zander’s full-speed ahead attitude.
“Speaking of Elijah, talk to him,” Vincent continued.
“Why?” Jasper asked, still leaning between the front seats to talk back at Vincent.
“He’s got a major crush on her he won’t admit to,” Vincent groaned. “He’s so wrapped up in what Quinn is feeling and our problems that he won’t recognize that his feelings go beyond just a primal attraction to her. And let’s not even get started on Quinn. He’s half in love with her and doesn’t realize it.”
“You’re kidding,” Zander sputtered. “Both of them?”
“What did you expect, Zander?” Vincent huffed.
Zander thought about that question for a moment. He’d seen Sawyer and Elijah flirt. He’d noticed the budding friendship between her and Quinn. He’d noticed how they both looked at her.
“Why do you think that only you and Jasper would notice that she’s…” Vincent trailed off, as if he had no idea how to describe her.
“None of this changes that Sawyer isn’t ready for any of this,” Jasper muttered. “She’s fierce and intelligent and… so totally weighed down by nightmares and grief that she’ll never let herself get caught with something like us or feeling like she deserves it.”
“She’s ashamed of herself,” Vincent whispered. “She’s weighed down by guilt. That’s why she doesn’t want to get caught up in us. She thinks she’s not good enough for a better life half the time, and the other half, she works so hard for it that it makes me ache.”
“How do you know?” Zander asked as they finally entered town.
“Because it’s the same reason I didn’t want to get caught up in her…” Vincent sighed. “And if there’s something I’ve noticed about Sawyer, it’s that she and I feel many of the same things. She’s jus
t much better at dealing with it.”
Zander grunted. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She was a survivor with the best of them. She fought back, and she fought hard. She was smart, and she was so good. She might not think so, but Zander could see it from space if he needed too. Sure, she was dark, but she was good.
If there was ever a real hero in the world, Zander was convinced it was Sawyer. He just needed to find the words to tell her that and make her believe it. He needed to find the words to say that he loved her. And he needed her to believe that, too, because he wasn’t going to be tossed to the side by her, that much was certain. He would share her with half the state of Georgia if he had to, but he wouldn’t be forgotten by her. Not her, too.
“How long do we stick around for any more information on this case?” Jasper asked Vincent, the topic of Sawyer effectively dropped.
“I think we’ll be staying until another body drops. I don’t like that we can’t find anything about these two victims. They didn’t have anything about them that might indicate they were unhealthy in any way.” Vincent groaned. “Jasper, dig into their medical records a bit when we get back? I know we have the files, but I haven’t really gone into them. We’ve been pretty on the go since we got the case and the files for it. Yesterday. Shit, that was only yesterday.”
“They got nothing.” Jasper sighed. “Nobody out here has health insurance, and they only see a doctor or healer when they’re desperate.”
“So, we wait for the shit to escalate. Maybe we can get nosy into the sheriff’s life. He’s obviously got some secrets, and he’s either an idiot or he’s hiding something.” Zander offered, glancing quickly towards Jasper, who nodded.
“I like that idea. Vincent?”
“It’s really all we have,” Vincent groaned. “We’ll send Elijah to talk to him more, see if good old Texas boy to Texas boy might give us anything. Jasper, you and Sawyer can find a good time and place to get into his things. We’ll get nosy, since he doesn’t want us to. Zander, we’ll just lay low with Quinn and keep our heads down. I don’t want us drawing too much attention to ourselves. We still haven’t seen just how Anti-Magi this area really is.”
A Heart of Shame Page 18