“It’s Rare,” Jasper groaned. “So, our killer so far: Healing. Dream walking. Astral projection.”
“If this Magi weren’t fucked in the head, they could have been rich with a combination like that,” Zander growled. “Heal the body, mind, and visit others from vast distances, depending on how powerful he is.”
“Fuck, he could still have two other powers we don’t know about,” Elijah snarled. “We’re so on the back foot, and we don’t even know what this asshole wants!”
“We have one lead, a sheriff who is Magi and unregistered, with plenty of secrets,” Vincent reminded them. “And we’ll follow that until there is nothing else. And maybe, just fucking maybe, we’ll either stumble on the killer, he’ll screw up, or he’ll come for us physically and we take him down.”
“We have another option, a really bad one if we’re desperate,” Sawyer said quietly. “Just let me sleep through the night.”
“Tell me that the supremely rational Sawyer isn’t thinking of playing self-sacrificing bait.” Vincent chuckled darkly. “I expected more.”
“Fuck no, I’m not thinking about it. I’m not a goddamn idiot. Being bait is like asking to get killed, and, no offense, I don’t want this guy in my fucking head, with or without my permission.” Sawyer laughed. “I’m just reminding us that it’s an option. If there’s absolutely no other options, there’s that one.”
“Let’s stop thinking of it as an option,” Zander growled.
“I agree,” Quinn snarled.
Sawyer raised her eyebrows at them then turned back to Vincent.
“My God, you would think I ran off into the night to find the killer myself,” Sawyer mumbled to him.
“You did try that once,” Jasper reminded her as Vincent nodded slowly. She sighed. She had. She’d been upset. She wouldn’t do it again, she promised herself.
“My apologies then,” Sawyer said with a gesture, throwing her arms open. “You know, maybe you should have a serial killer popping into your nightmares just to watch, like it’s a fucking spectator sport or a snuff film.” She watched Jasper wince at that and immediately felt guilty. “Yeah… This sucks.”
“Get back inside,” Vincent told them. “Let’s… try for some peace tonight, at least.”
Sawyer loved the idea of peace but wasn’t sure she would find any. She went back inside, Quinn on her heels. She sat on her bed and said nothing as Quinn threw something.
“I failed you,” he snarled. She just shook her head.
“Every Magi has weaknesses,” Sawyer told him. “You can’t guard me in my sleep. So, I just won’t sleep. It’s okay. I’m used to losing sleep. This is nothing new.”
Well, it was something new. She had never had her dreams haunted and watched by an outsider. Normally, the only thing that haunted her in her dreams was her. And Axel.
“Friends protect each other,” Quinn growled, sitting down next to her. “How do I protect you from what I can’t see? I can’t save you from him, then what good am I as a friend?”
“You can’t save everyone, Quinn,” Sawyer whispered. “Believe me.”
She’d failed more times than anyone could count. She knew well the bitter hard feeling of failure. The dark wave of sadness of loss. The guilt of knowing that if she had done anything different then it would be different.
They were silent, and Sawyer was lost in her own thoughts. Quinn laid back on his side of her bed. Scout laid his head in her lap. Shade was even taking up too much space on the bed.
She tried. She fought. She bent the knee. She killed. She cried. She begged for mercy. She failed. She failed to save either of them.
And nothing would bring them back.
Oh, she understood Quinn’s pain and frustration. She understood the guilt.
“You can’t save everyone,” she whispered again, this time to herself.
She didn’t find peace that night. She just sat there as the dawn broke and began preparing for another break-in when she heard the other guys beginning to move around.
She could save future victims.
She clung to that belief.
19
Vincent
Vincent never went back to sleep. Uncomfortable and anxious about the mission, he walked out of the small, dim motel room as Elijah made a call to James—the third call in as many days, maybe more.
He watched the dawn and considered the last time he really stopped to appreciate it. Only a few days ago, he’d been hungover and unable to return to sleep after Sawyer had left his room. He’d chain smoked on the back porch, listened to the wolves howl, and just watched the sun reclaim the world.
What a night that had been, Vincent thought. She’d convinced him to bare his heart, tell her all about his brother at a time when she hadn’t known Axel. And then she’d gifted him with Henry. Something had fallen into place for Vincent, listening to her talk about his nephew. Vincent had been tearing himself up for not being there for Henry or her. For not being strong enough to stop it long before it had started.
She had set him at ease in some ways. A piece of his heart that had been ripped open felt bandaged and bruised. Aching, but no longer a bleeding, gaping wound that affected everything he did.
What hadn’t set him at ease was what had happened after he had some of the best sex of his life with the woman who’d given him such a gift. He wanted to forget the look of rage on her face and the fear in her eyes when she tried to attack him, thinking he was Axel. He would give anything, his body, mind, and soul, to make sure it never happened again.
He would work with Jasper and Zander towards that end, and apparently, Elijah. He wanted more of her. He’d known it from the moment they had said it shouldn’t happen again. And he needed the team, friends and allies, to help him, even if they did so for their own reasons. They could help her. Together, maybe, they could chase away her nightmares enough for him to be in her life and bed. Vincent didn’t hope for her heart, even though that was his deepest wish. A piece of that broken, vulnerable thing she not-so-secretly carried around.
He stayed lost in his thoughts about the romantic situation he found himself in for a long time. Lost in thought about how they were going to make this work, he lit a cigarette. He should have been thinking about the case, but it was distant from his mind. He didn’t know what he could do about their situation with the case, yet.
Vincent was still smoking that cigarette when Sawyer walked out of her room, looking exhausted and yet dangerous in her black uniform. Those damn leather pants. God, he was mad as hell and sinfully turned on at the sight of those. Sawyer took one look at him, stole his cigarette and took a long drag. He didn’t let it get to him, since he enjoyed the idea of something of his in her mouth.
He was losing his mind, slowly but surely.
“Forget your own pack?” he asked as she handed it back to him.
“Yeah, and I’ve been dying for one.” She sighed. He took that as the sign to pull another out for her. He lit it and handed it over. He watched those lips hold it and smoke leave her nose.
“You’re welcome,” he said as she just stared into the dawn.
There was more silence as her eyes left the rising sun and looked at him. He waited. There was a game to be played here, and he couldn’t resist it.
“Thanks,” she finally said to him. He knew the thanks was going to come eventually. He was glad he waited. He won that round. “How long until we head out?”
“A couple of hours,” he told her, nodding to the rising sun. “Still a bit early. How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” Sawyer groaned, leaning against a pillar. “Exhausted. And I want to get this done.”
“Well, we have time to kill, instead.” Vincent thought about that as he said it. He and Sawyer weren’t ones to have this sort of chance very often. “We could... chat.”
“About what, Vincent?” Sawyer chuckled, looking at him with a small smile. He didn’t like the dark circles under her eyes, but he was happy to see the smile ther
e.
“I’m sure you can find something to disagree with me about.” Vincent laughed back. He realized his cigarette was out and slid the butt in his pocket to trash later. Then he lit another one, as an excuse to stay outside to talk to her.
“I’m sure,” Sawyer teased. “We seem to disagree on nearly everything.” They fell silent for a moment and he waited. He would let her choose the topic. “We can talk about Quinn for a moment.”
“You’ve been wonderful with him,” Vincent told her. He was stunned and astounded by her ballsy act to try and get Quinn on track. He could also admit to a bit of jealousy that she was succeeding where he had failed. That irked him, but he didn’t let it bother him. He would rather be excited over Quinn’s progress than jealous that she had made it happen.
“You laid a lot of good ground work but… why didn’t you ever try giving him something he might enjoy instead of the stuffy required stuff?” Sawyer frowned at him, and Vincent let out a heavy sigh.
“We did, early on, hoping it would spur him to be interested,” Vincent informed her. “But back then, he was aggressive and impatient. He hated that this was a skill everyone seemed to have except him. So it became more about getting him through what was required and less about making sure he felt comfortable. We just needed to finish it and be done with it. We started focusing on the required things.”
“Makes sense,” Sawyer mumbled, nodding slowly. “It’s not that you all did bad, by the way. You’ve only been teaching him for… four years?”
“Roughly,” Vincent confirmed.
“Four years, from zero reading and writing skills to a middle school level, while working for the IMPO. That’s not bad progress, Vincent. I just swooped in and made sure he knew he could enjoy it. It was something I could offer him.”
“Thank you,” Vincent told her softly, watching her get that smile back. The tired smile that let him know she was happy she did something good. “It’s made everything easier, and he’s progressing faster now. Do you know what he’s been working on, though?”
“He’s working on trying to write down things he knows about the natural world that maybe we don’t.” Sawyer chuckled. “With his magic and his upbringing, those writings could bring new knowledge to the world. And it’s something he can set his mind to, a goal. Something he can achieve that means something to him that isn’t a piece of paper.”
He’d never thought about it that way. He was charmed by her and mystified at her wisdom on the matter. She brought something to the team that none of them had been able to offer. A real-world experience that was unmatched by anyone else their age and dwarfed anything on the team. Her experiences since she was just the lanky orphan teen with Zander and Jasper had made her a uniquely fearsome and intelligent woman. Too bad he felt like she didn’t realize it sometimes. Her arrogance only went so far, and sadly, she sold herself short in some ways or tried to play modest about the better parts of herself. It baffled him. She was either the most arrogant thing he’d ever met, or she sold her achievements short, as if they weren’t that big of a deal.
“I’m not sure what else to say, except, thank you,” Vincent told her quietly. “What else would you like to chat about?”
“You choose the topic this time,” Sawyer laughed quietly towards the sun. Vincent only gave it a moment’s thought.
“I was thinking that you can test for your GED when this is over,” Vincent mentioned, looking her over. “I think you can do well enough to get the damn thing and move on from it.”
“I know I can.” Sawyer laughed. “Yeah, let’s get that nonsense out of the way. Then I can go back to mornings kicking Zander’s stupid ass around the gym and making sure he knows his place.”
“Oh,” Vincent groaned playfully. “Don’t put it that way. He just wants for things to be like they were between you.” He needed to throw Zander a bone before the poor fool ruined them all.
“Used to be?” Sawyer chuckled, shaking her head. “It used to be a girl who kicked Zander’s ass around the yard and made sure he knew his place. I’m just eager to get back to that. Back to the way things used to be, as it happens.”
Vincent laughed, nearly dropping his cigarette in the process, and started to cough as he was mid-drag when the laugh came. Sawyer thumped his back several times as he faded into a chuckle.
“That brings images to my mind I’m going to remember for the rest of my life,” Vincent said with a grin. “Fondly.” Thank God they finally had someone who could knock Zander around. That prick needed it.
“You’re happier now than I have ever seen you, even with this case we’re dealing with,” Sawyer told him softly. Vincent stopped laughing and looked back over to her. Her dark eyes were curious, and she tilted her head at him.
“I’ll be happier when this case is over.” Vincent shrugged. The case was a problem, a worry, and a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve. He was missing pieces and he wasn’t sure if the sheriff’s home held those pieces. “But, I feel lighter, definitely.”
“I like you feeling lighter. It looks better on you.”
He watched her nod. He did feel lighter. He felt focused on the case, focused on the possibilities beyond it. She’d given him something that he would hold dear. Some measure of forgiveness, some measure of respite from the past.
“Sawyer-”
“You two are so noisy,” Elijah’s groan interrupted them. “Morning brooding, I see. You two are a match made in brooding heaven.”
“You…” Vincent shook his head and looked at Elijah leaving their room. Trust Elijah to remind them of everything swirling between them now.
“Call it like I see it?” Elijah chuckled, stealing Sawyer’s cigarette. Vincent held back a smile at her glare as Elijah finished smoking it and put it out. Vincent pulled out his pack and offered them both a new one. He was going to need to buy another pack at this rate.
“Really,” Elijah mumbled, the cigarette in his mouth. It was lit, along with Sawyer’s, without needing Vincent’s lighter. “Sawyer, put a leash on him, call it a day.”
“Why are you out here, Elijah?” Vincent asked with a small growl. He didn’t need Elijah pushing her. He wanted Sawyer to leash him when she was ready. He wanted it, but he wasn’t going to rush her. “Weren’t you on the phone with James?”
“I was,” Elijah mumbled, flicking ash off the cigarette. “And I have news for you that complicates all of this.”
“Do tell,” Sawyer huffed, still leaning on her pillar.
“That ring? I remembered where I had seen it before.” Elijah sighed. “My father used to wear one when I was yea high.” Elijah motioned at a height about half the size he was now. Vincent frowned at the implication. A ring Elijah had seen as a child. “But my father was an uneducated man and still is. He didn’t go to college, he had barely finished high school. Alpha and Omega… the religious reference is important. Not a fraternity for college men, but a brotherhood for religious ones.”
“Elijah?” Vincent narrowed his eyes.
“The ring is given to… leaders of the Anti-Magi organization, God’s Will.” Elijah whispered as he tried to explain to them, looking ill for a moment. “We have… an unregistered Magi leading this area’s Anti-Magi sentiment. I never thought I would see the day. I wasn’t sure things could get more complicated.”
Vincent recoiled and leaned against a pillar near him. This had implications that concerned Vincent. Stevenson was working with people who would hang him for it.
“Well, damn,” Sawyer groaned. “Of all the things. And we aren’t even sure if this has anything to do with the killer. What the hell have we walked into out here?”
“I have no idea,” Elijah grumbled. “But if Vincent over there is shocked, it’s nothing good.”
“Has anyone ever heard of a Magi in an Anti-Magi organization?” Sawyer asked, frowning at them. Vincent shook his head.
“No, it’s… a betrayal of our kind to the umpteenth degree.” Vincent sighed. “You’re right, Elijah, thi
s can’t be anything good, and we now need to deal with the sheriff. He was an annoyance but now he’s going to need to take real priority.”
“Thank the gods we’re breaking into his place, today,” Sawyer mumbled towards the sun. “And the killer?”
“We play the long game,” Vincent told her. “We’ve done it before. We don’t have any leads. We need to wait for a mistake or another piece of the puzzle. Until then, since this is currently his hunting ground… We protect you as best we can, and we deal with the sheriff.”
“And hope,” Elijah muttered, glaring into the distance. “We had to do it with Logan. We lost all traces of him and finally, at the exact right moment, caught him on camera going after his next target. We were able to get the license plate number of his car and… Yeah. After weeks, nearly a few months of hunting, always being a step behind, a couple near misses… we had him right in time.”
“Wake those two up,” Vincent ordered him, gesturing towards Zander and Jasper’s room. He knew Quinn was awake and in Sawyer’s room, she could get him. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
“Sawyer, go do that, I need to talk to Vincent.” Elijah didn’t move. Vincent frowned at his friend. Sawyer just nodded and walked into the other room, off to drag Jasper and Zander to work.
“What’s up?”
“How have we missed it?” Elijah asked, crossing his arms. “It’s obvious.”
“What is?” Vincent brought his eyebrows together in frustration. What had he missed?
“Stevenson… I think he really is covering for the serial killer. I think he has our answers,” Elijah said quietly. “It makes sense, too much sense.”
“Fuck,” Vincent snapped. How had he missed that? It was something Zander had mentioned when they were arriving. Stevenson rushing the bodies in this area back to their families, not doing proper follow-up to suspicious deaths. They only had a lead on how these people were dying thanks to the two bodies in Abilene.
“We’re not so in the dark as we think,” Elijah hissed. “This is going to sound fucked up, but I think the sheriff is covering for this other Magi because he hates Magi. Stevenson is letting this killer do his thing because it looks good for him to the Anti-Magi group if Magi in his area are dying off.”
A Heart of Shame Page 24