Most of us are a little smarter than that, and recognize the personal risk. When it comes down to it, we’re not half the beast that you might think. We think rationally, weigh our odds.
But we can’t afford to let an unnatural roam free. Well, roam at all. If they go and half-bite people, we’d have a zombie-type nightmare on our hands. They’d maybe start a pack of their own. And then we’d have real trouble.
I probably should have mentioned that it was late, late enough for the early rising moon to be up. Dusk had fallen while the losers did their deal, and yeah, the moon was full.
Hood saw me balking. He snapped, “Go, Fera,” like I was a domesticated dog. Talk about making me see red.
I mean, I am the prime pussy of the moment. And I’m not talking about cats.
Leer shook his head, even he was having trouble trying to clear his brain. He said, “Kayty, get her put up now.”
I thought that was interesting. I really balked, then. That was a new little tidbit of empowerment. I’d always thought there was just something that couldn’t be breached between him and Kayty. But his reaction, his body language, made me think...just maybe...there was hope.
Kayty squashed that in one feral snap-and-pop shift to crinos. It’s like playing rock, paper, scissors. Lupus beats human. Crinos beats lupus. She said, “All right, bitch, I can smell your heat.”
She dragged me off then. It was degrading, made me furious. And I could feel my inner self grinding its will to get out, to fight my cause. I started thinking like a real bitch. Thinking I could maybe slice Kayty once, in the belly, and it would be all she could do to slash back--her mothering instinct would have her dropping to a ball.
It’s kind of ugly when you get right down to it. And I don’t like looking back at those moments when she was hauling me across the compound. But surprise of surprise, she didn’t toss me in the garrison. She threw me into the den and then scrunched down on her haunches like a Neanderthal. Her eyes flashed and her teeth gnashed, and I knew she was warring with a few inner truths of her own.
She said, “Make no mistake, Fera. I’ll kill you before I let you near Leer.”
I had to chuckle. After all, if Leer wanted me, she would be out, period. I’d have to watch my back forever until she was put down, but Leer really made the ultimate choice.
At the moment, I didn’t take the time to realize that he’d just made that decision. He didn’t care that his instincts were to take the hot female. His heart and his brain had already made its pick. Kayty. I can see that now. And that makes me okay with the choices I’ve made since then--but I’ll get to that.
Pacing the cave, thinking about tackling her, wondering how long before the change would be complete, I felt my bones stretching, knew I was growing, my legs lengthening, strengthening, becoming denser. I expected a body-numbing pain to hit me at any time, to drop me to the floor in writhing agony.
“You think that’s funny?” She wasn’t amused. In fact, she was downright irritable over it.
Clouds must’ve moved in the sky, because her form became illuminated. Her pretty head tipped up to look at it. Could’ve been a mistake, her taking her eye off me.
But she said, “I hate pack life, Fera.” I knew that wasn’t true. She just didn’t like certain aspects of it. Kayty loved being part of the group. And her position in the pack made her feel connected, something she hadn’t ever had before. She’d told me that numerous times.
Kayty sniffed. “You’re my friend. My best friend here, besides Leer.” She sniffed again.
I couldn’t believe it. She was crying? Showing me her weakness?
Yes, she was definitely crying. I slinked closer. Was this some sort of trick?
She sniffed again and looked at me. Her jaw hung halfway open and I saw her tongue running along the bottom of her side teeth. She had a hand resting gently over her belly. The other reached up and pushed her hair back and she said, with another sniff, “I know what you’re thinking.”
“You do?”
I saw her babies move. My gaze must’ve darted noticeably. She moved her hand a little, protectively.
She’s too big to be only having one. At least, that’s what I think. Her fingers soothingly smoothed the flesh in a repeated motion. I think it was absentminded, that she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
Kayty smiled, “You’re wrong, Fera. What you perceive as my weakness is my one great strength. You see, I don’t think I could kill a friend--if it weren’t for my babies. Kinda changes my perspective.”
“Can you read minds now?”
“No.” She got up, stretched her back, peered out into the dark. “It’s too quiet.”
“They’re hunting it.”
“You should be afraid,” she said. “He is coming for you.”
“You are the only thing I’m afraid of.”
She smiled again. I saw it in her profile. Then she shook her head, and I knew if I fell to the floor, she wouldn’t pounce me. I sent a prayer up to Gaia.
And I wanted to cry. Emotions up and all that. Maybe a little relief, probably a little guilt mixed in.
Suddenly, howls went up. They echoed through the woods.
Kayty told me, “Bitches are coming in.”
“That doesn’t sound like they made a kill.”
“No.” She giggled. “But you’re starting to reek.”
“Ah. They’re coming for the show.”
“What did you expect, Princess?”
She knew I didn’t like being called that. Hood dubbed me with it, back when I was a pup.
“You know, after tonight, I think you won’t have to look away when others call you that.” She was amused. “Yeah. I think there will be a little respect when they say it.”
It was always said with a sneer. I’d confided to Kayty, the first time she’d used the word on me, that I didn’t like it. She was the only one who hadn’t kept it up.
“You’re really changing.” Kayty tipped her head, watching me. “It’s all good.”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
She let out a little laugh. “Good breeding, what can you say?”
“It’s supposed to hurt.”
“Who says?”
“It always hurts. Everyone says so.”
“Did Hood have any trouble?”
“Who knows? He never talks about things like that.”
Outside, a female voice asked, “Can we come in?”
“I don’t think so.” Kayty--you know--she really is great. She pulled herself up to her full height and said, “The only person coming in here is Leer.” And, as an afterthought, she said, “And maybe Hood.”
The voice said, “You cheat her. She gets this one night.”
“She’s not going nuts.” Kayty put her hands on her hips. And, really, she was magnificent--everything I wanted to be. Standing there with the moon shining on her. I really admired her at that moment.
“She will.”
Snickers, crack comments. They couldn’t wait.
Kayty asked, “Anybody seen Leer?”
“He and Hood are setting up a trap...for the unnatural.” I told her that. Every now and then I got thoughts passing between them.
Coming up from behind Kayty, I peeked out, and asked, “Have they figured out who caused it?”
A bitch said with irritation, “One of the losers.”
“Oh.” I sniffed the air. “That’s what I figured.”
Everyone else put their noses up, too.
“Hey,” the bitch that had been talking to Kayty said, “How come you’re--” She backed up, eyes bulging, like she was afraid. And behind her, all the rest backed up, too.
That’s when I realized--I towered over Kayty. Well, not towered. Had her by an inch, though. She and I looked at each other. And you know what? She smiled again, and this time, she said, “Told you.”
I don’t have a conscious recollection of standing up, human like.
I won’t lie. For a minute, I thought, damn if I�
��m not gonna see about snagging Leer. And I knew, if I was gonna do it, that was probably the night. I had to give the bitches the slip. Like I said before, I hadn’t worked through the earlier scene, where he’d told her to put me up--like a dog.
“I need to relieve myself.”
Kayty chuckled. “Right.”
“And I’m getting hungry.”
The other bitch said, “That’s the bloodlust coming on. It’s gonna get worse.” And then, as if she and Kayty were old friends, she said, “Remember the night you--”
Kayty cut her off, though. “Yeah. Let’s not talk about it.”
But we damn sure thought about it.
“Why not?” Talk about your insistent bitches. I think she was looking for a little stimulation, to stir me up, maybe.
“We need to pay attention, listen, keep our eyes out.” Kayty had a no-nonsense attitude.
I asked, “So you think I’m done?”
Chapter Five
It looked like I’d gone through the change without any of the pain, or real mood swings. I’ll be honest, none of us could believe it. I felt a little let down. And part of me was angry. I wanted to shift all the way to human form.
I also wanted, more than anything, to hook up with somebody that night. I was lonely as hell, and it seemed like my big night was all over. I was under watch. And I didn’t seem to be out of control. It was total bullshit.
But I guess Gaia must’ve heard my inner complaints. All hell broke loose.
The losers, in a band, ran past the council cave--like they were being chased. They broke through the trees, yelping, growling, leaping rocks--all in lupus.
After the shock, all us bitches laughed. I mean, they were there, practically killing themselves, and then gone.
“What the hell was that all about, do you think?”
The bitch who said that went to the edge of the rocks at the left of the den’s opening, climbed up and tried to see. “Idiots.”
“Maybe they ran off the unnatural,” I shrugged.
But that was wrong. Way wrong. The unnatural broke through the trees, too.
And...Oh. My. Gaia. More man than wolf. Crinos with a high human input. Not so hairy.
He flexed his hands, looked both ways.
We were all speechless. Damn, he was fine.
Oh, my Gaia, he was fine.
I know the moment was only that, a moment, but he looked through the dark, right at me, with green laser light eyes. Right past Kayty, and all the other females. And then the corner of his lip went up. Fucking confident smirk. That’s all I can say.
Then he took off. A leap, a bound. Gone.
It took the bitches about two seconds of looking back and forth at each other before they went after him.
All I can say is--maybe there’s a whole lot more bullshit in the things we’d been taught about the mutants. I mean, we’d been told to stay away, to hunt them down, never to create them. But I was thinking, damn, if that wasn’t all wrong.
I turned to Kayty and said, “Okay. I’m rethinking what I’ve been told.”
“Don’t.”
I know what she meant. Don’t even think it. Don’t go against the pack’s rules.
Don’t even think it.
I couldn’t help it. I thought it. I stood there, looking her in the eye, letting his image run back and forth in my head.
Leer mind talked to Hood. It’s set. Where is he?
Bitches are chasing him.
We could hear them. They were having a great time, it sounded like.
Leer reached out with his thoughts to one of the better bitches. Bring him to me, baby.
I told Kayty, “Leer’s telling them to bring the mutant his way.”
“Thanks.”
Kayty stepped out of the den’s opening, tipping her head so she could hear the nuances in the howls better.
We lost him.
When I heard that, I almost laughed out loud. A whole damn pack of bitches, and they lost one quarry. It was funny.
Hood’s growling thoughts were broadcast loud and clear. So, find him. Use your damn noses. Fuck. Then, to Leer, he said, What do you want to do now?
One of us is going to have to go after him, I think.
I thought that was priceless. Superman Werewolf to the rescue.
Hood asked me, Fera! How are you doing?
I didn’t answer. I know if he ever gets a hold of me, he’ll wring my neck. Instead, I turned to Kayty and said, “Leer needs you.”
“What? Bullshit.” She bit the inside of her cheek and looked away.
I know, I was lying through my teeth, but I had a real, sudden urge to get the hell out of Pack City. To see if I could hunt down the unnatural on my own.
Wouldn’t that be about the best kill of the century? The perfect shift gift.
Leer might have to trade Kayty out, if I could catch the guy and kill him.
“No shit. The bitches lost him. Leer and Hood are going to try and trick him around to their trap.”
“What trap did they set?”
I was itching to move, but I knew I had to do the chat to get her to do the walk. “They have that pit between the rocks.” They’d been prepared, just in case other werewolves from other packs got a whiff of me. But for the most part, I’d been watched for a while now, kept where the wind couldn’t pick up my scent and carry it too far.
Pack City sits outside of a human town, in the middle of a wildlife reserve, in a canyon of boulders and caves. Entries are easy to guard. But, like any good fortress, there’s more than one way out.
“I’m wondering how he found his way here in the first place,” Kayty was thinking out loud. “I mean, you damn near have to get directions to this place.”
“Maybe he heard the losers talking, before they bit him.”
“Maybe.”
“Leer really thinks you’d be some help.”
It didn’t really jibe. I mean, he was pretty protective of her, now that she was getting close to having her young. I had to be convincing.
“You’re alpha female, Kayty. He thinks you’ve got what it takes to flush the guy out.”
“It might take a little longer, but the other bitches will pick up his trail.”
I was sure of that, too, and, in fact, was a little surprised they hadn’t set up a wail already. I said, “Seems eerily quiet, don’t you think? I mean, for a full scale hunt being underway.”
“Yeah. I don’t like it.” I could tell she was getting nervous. She asked, with her eyes on the edges, “You sure Leer wants me out there?”
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