Without waiting for a reply, I take off, hurrying across campus.
Just as I reach Adler Hall, I see Roan surrounded by a large group of people. Even though I feel kind of lousy for doing it, I duck my head hoping to avoid talking with him. We haven’t spoken since he dropped me off yesterday afternoon, so I have no idea whether he knows about the pictures that have been posted online.
Regardless, this is just business as usual for him.
Me, on the other hand, not so much.
I enjoy the attention and adulation I get from giving a kickass performance on stage. This is nothing like that. It’s notoriety simply for being with someone famous.
And I’m not into that.
I’m just pulling open the heavy glass door that leads inside Adler Hall when a bulging arm reaches around, opening it for me. I’d recognize that ridiculously huge arm anywhere. I don’t even have to glance over my shoulder to see Roan standing behind me.
Is it really bad that I know precisely what he smells like?
I probably don’t have to say this, but I find his cologne completely intoxicating. Those errand thoughts have me wanting to gnash my teeth in irritation. My attraction to Roan is pointless. What I need to do is get a firm grip on my unruly hormones before my life spirals even further out of control than it already has.
“Thanks,” I murmur before rushing through.
He falls right in line with me. “So, are we still on for tomorrow night?”
I nod, knowing there’s no choice in the matter. We have to work on our ethics project and that means spending time collaborating and meshing information. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to go out in public… right?
“Um, yeah, but I’m thinking it might be better if we work at my apartment instead of the library.”
His arm snakes around my waist before dragging me to his side. His warm breath feathers across my neck. “If you want to be alone with me, gorgeous, just say the word. You don’t have to create reasons to lure me back to your place.”
He grins rather devilishly before I shove my way out of his arms. My feet come to a standstill as I glare up at him. “I’m not trying to get you alone.” Quickly I glance around, because the last thing I need is to have more photographs surface. Curling my fingers around his wrist, I haul him into a darkened classroom so we can talk privately.
“Look,” I can’t help but bounce uneasily from one foot to the other before finally pushing out the words, “I don’t want to be seen with you.”
There.
Done.
The sly grin which had been playing across his face morphs into an expression of shock. And yeah, it makes me feel like a real piece of shit for being the one to put it there. But what else am I supposed to do? I need to distance myself from him. What I don’t need is any more photos making me out to be public enemy number one around here.
The way his voice fills with disbelief has me wincing. “You… don’t want to be seen with me?”
Oh god… is that hurt I hear threading its way through his words?
But still… even though I feel like a real bitch, I continue, “Not after all those pictures were posted, I don’t.”
“What pictures?” He shakes his head in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about, Ivy?”
“Someone took pictures of us yesterday and posted them on your stupid website.”
He looks at me like he doesn’t quite understand what the big deal is. “Okay, first off- it’s not my website. And second- why is that a problem? I mean, we were studying at the library.” Shrugging, he adds, “And we got smoothies. Why are you so upset about it?”
Digging out the phone from my bag, I pull up the website and click on the pictures before shoving it in his face. He takes the phone from me before slowly scrolling through each picture. It only takes a moment for the corners of his mouth to sink and his brows to draw together. Looking decidedly unhappy, he silently hands the phone back to me.
“Now do you understand why I’m upset?”
He jerks his head slightly. “Yeah, I get it.” Silently he plows his long fingers through his inky black hair.
Still feeling like an asshole, I say, “We don’t have time to discuss this right now. We need to get to class. I don’t want to be late.”
“Yeah, okay.” He looks distracted as we leave the room and head towards our business ethics class. Unfortunately, I can tell by the absence of people in the halls that class has already gotten underway.
Is it too much to hope that we can just sneak in unnoticed?
Probably.
I should have really known better because it’s a well-known fact that Roan never flies under the radar. For god’s sake, there’s a damn website devoted solely to tracking his whereabouts. Like he’s been outfitted with a Lojack or something.
Even though we’re only a minute or two late, Professor Paulson has already begun lecturing. She doesn’t stop when she sees us, but almost everyone turns to see who hasn’t made it to class on time. As my eyes scan all the faces that have swiveled towards us, I see two girls start whispering.
With my head bent, I quickly slink to my desk, but not before a few other girls hold up their phones for what I assume are pictures. My eyes flicker to Roan but he isn’t looking at me, he’s staring straight ahead.
Sliding into my seat, I do the same.
Chapter Fourteen
I have it on excellent authority that the girl Roan has been photographed with is nothing more than a partner for a class project. I think we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief that there’s nothing going on between those two. I mean come on now… this is Roan King we’re talking about. He doesn’t do relationships. Thank goodness for that ;) KingOfCampus.com
I’m sitting in the middle of my bed with my laptop and my French book splayed open in front of me. I have an exam in two days and I’m trying to prepare for it when there’s a light knock on my bedroom door. Since it’s about eight at night, I’ve already showered and changed into a comfy tank top and pair of shorts.
Glancing up, I figure its Lexie. Although she usually just barges right in. I mean, too hell with privacy and all that crap... In her defense, I think we both know I’m not in here having some kind of hot monkey sex with anyone.
I suppose that in and of itself should have been the first tip off that it wasn’t Lexie.
“Since when do you bother knocking,” I call out in response.
As the door gets pushed open, Roan pokes his head around it. “Well… since you’re already pissed at me, I figured I’d better not push it.”
Our eyes collide as his legs eat up the short distance separating us. Somehow my room seems smaller with his mere presence in it. I hadn’t necessarily thought of my room, with its double sized bed and tall wooden bureau, as tiny but it certainly feels that way now.
“Um, hi.” I cock my head to the side as I rack my brain for our study schedule. “Were we supposed to work together tonight?” Because I didn’t think so. I certainly wouldn’t be sitting around in a tank top and tiny sleeping shorts… and no bra, if we were.
“No,” he moves a little closer to the bed before tentatively sitting down at the end of it. My book and computer are between us and for some reason, I’m glad about that. The kiss we shared in the elevator flashes its way unwantedly through my head. Yep. Definitely better to have a barrier between us… no matter how small it is. “I thought we should talk… in private.”
One side of his mouth hitches up into a thin smile.
Sitting up a little taller, my eyes hold his turquoise colored ones. God, but they’re stunning. I mean, yeah, Roan is completely gorgeous. He really is. But his eyes are such an unusual and bright greenish-blue color. Just as I feel myself swaying unconsciously towards him, I realize what I’m doing and jerk myself back.
Clearing my throat, I finally mutter, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
“I,” his big hand comes up to scratch at the dark stubble covering his chin
before he continues, “guess I should apologize for all this.”
My brows snap together. “Why? None of this is your fault. It’s not your website,” god, it had better not be, “right?” My eyes narrow just a bit because if he has something to do with that freaking website, like he’s trying to create more hype for himself, I’ll punch him.
A few times.
Right in that pretty face of his.
He must see the murderous glint in my eyes because he immediately starts shaking his head. “No, of course not. I barely pay attention to all that crap.” Then he amends, “But I know the site is out there because I got myself into a shitload of trouble last year when some pictures surfaced that were taken at a party. So, I know I have to be conscious about what I’m doing when I’m out in public.” He shakes his head. “It just never occurred to me that picking you up from work and doing a little bit of research at the library would turn out to be such a big freaking deal.”
Neither one of us mention the photo where we’re staring at each other at the library.
I shrug my shoulders wanting to downplay everything that’s happened since this morning but it’s not easy. It feels like my life has been turned upside down. And other than keeping my distance from Roan, I don’t know what else to do about it.
Wanting to sound diplomatic, I finally say, “I’m trying not to let it bother me.”
Nodding, his eyes stay fastened onto mine. “Well, for what it’s worth, I appreciate you being a good sport about it. Pictures of girls get posted online all the time but there are usually a few of them in the shot and these aren’t girls I’m friends with.” He pauses before lowering his voice. “I guess that’s why these pictures seem like a big deal. It looks like more than just a random hook up. And I’m pretty much known for my one nighters.”
Charming.
“But we’re not going out and we’re definitely not hooking up,” I emphasize to him. But maybe I say the words for my own benefit as well. Just another reminder that there’s absolutely nothing between us. We’re partners for this project and that’s it.
“I know, Ivy. But the pictures make it look like something is going on. And for whatever reason, people are interested in what I do and who I see.”
“Okay, I get that. But if we make a concerted effort not to be seen together, then everything should just die down. Right?” Because that’s what I’m hoping. People aren’t going to sit around talking about us if there aren’t any new pictures to fuel speculation.
His eyes burn into mine before he finally admits, “Probably.”
Even though this has only been going on for about twelve hours, I already know this kind of scrutiny isn’t something I’d want to live with on a daily basis. I’m getting tons of text messages from people I didn’t even know had my number and my Facebook page has been flooded with friend requests as well as about forty messages asking if Roan and I are now an item. I keep answering no, but that hasn’t quashed any of the buzz surrounding this whole ridiculous situation.
“Let me ask you something,” he pauses as my eyes lift to his. “Does it really matter if people talk about us? I mean, we know what the truth is.”
I sit up a little straighter before pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them close to my body. “People think we’re like… involved. Why would you want that?”
“I didn’t say I wanted it. But who the hell cares what people post on some stupid website? They don’t even know us.” He lets those words hang in the air before asking, “I mean, we’re friends, right?”
Giving him a curious look, I can only respond to his question with one of my own. “I don’t know. Are we friends?”
The corners of his mouth curl up just a bit. “Well, I was kind of thinking we were.”
Narrowing my eyes I finally ask, “Do you even have girls who are just friends?”
Now he gives me a wolfish grin and I know whatever he’s about to say will have me rolling my eyes. “Nope, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t engage in a little friends-with-benefits action. I’d be totally onboard with that.”
He doesn’t disappoint.
I shake my head before replying drily, “We’re not going to be that kind of friends.”
His gaze falls to my lips. Then it lowers even further to my bare legs before slowly rising back up to my eyes. His voice deepens as if it’s dropped a few octaves. It does something funny to my insides. Something I don’t necessarily like or want. “You sure about that, Ivy?”
My gaze flattens. “Positive. I think we need to keep things strictly platonic.”
He leans a little closer and my suddenly pounding heart skips a beat. “You have to admit, that was one hell of a kiss.”
My mouth dries because that damn kiss keeps nudging its way back into my consciousness at the most inopportune of times. Instead of admitting just how good it was, I clear my throat. “What kiss?”
The smile gracing his lips turns decidedly predatory. My eyes widen as I realize I’ve made a tactical error. “Maybe I need to remind you just how good it was.”
In the blink of an eye, I’m off the bed and practically out the door. His smile only grows wider. As if he knows exactly what’s going on inside my head. I really hate that he’s able to tie my insides up into teeny tiny knots. I’ve never had that happen before. And I’m not quite sure how to handle it or make it go away.
How do you neutralize attraction like this?
“I’m… ah… going to get a bottle of water.” I throw the words over my shoulder because I don’t want to look him in the eyes again. Maybe I’m afraid he’ll see the lie within mine. “You want one?”
I’m already halfway down the short hall when I hear him chuckling. “Sure.”
As I walk through the small living room, I see Lexie and Dylan snuggled up together on the couch. “Thanks for letting him in,” I mutter on my way to the kitchen.
Lexie shrugs her shoulders before shooting me a look that says it all. “I figured you guys had stuff to talk about.”
Grumbling at her answer, I grab two bottles of water from the fridge. While I’m there, I close my eyes before inhaling and exhaling a deep breath. And then another. And then one more for good measure.
Do I want to kiss Roan again?
Ummmm, yeah. Of course I do.
That kiss the other day was completely spectacular. But I know getting tangled up with him would be a huge mistake. He’d eat me alive and spit me out without thinking twice about it.
Once my libido is firmly under control, I reluctantly head back towards the bedroom. I’m a few feet away from the door when I hear Roan’s deep voice. Like he’s talking on the phone or something. I’m almost wondering if I should give him a little bit of privacy. Maybe go sit with Lexie and Dylan when I hear what sounds suspiciously like my dad’s voice.
Brows snapping together, my feet quicken because I have to be mistaken. There is no way in hell that Roan is somehow conversing with my dad.
As I burst through the doorway, I see Roan sprawled out on my bed with a phone- my phone- held in his large hand. He’s staring at the screen, a wide smile on his face as he discusses the season… with my dad.
“No, I’ve been watching lots of film and I think we’re going to be able to take them.”
I actually wince when my dad responds enthusiastically. “I hope so. Everyone is talking about how strong the offense and defensive lines are this year. And your quarter back has one hell of an arm on him. It’s very exciting. Did Ivy happen to mention that I played football my freshman and sophomore year at Barnett?”
His amused eyes slide to mine. “No, she didn’t mention it. Anytime you’d like to attend a game, Mr. Kaster, you just let me know and I’ll get you some sweet tickets on the fifty yard line.”
“That would be great! I might just take you up on that offer, Roan. I think my wife would really enjoy seeing a Barnett football game. Especially this year.”
At the thought of Leah and my dad here at Barnett as guests
of Roan, I’m suddenly spurred into action.
Oh.
Hell.
No.
Those are the only words careening through my head as I race over to the bed. Our eyes continue to hold as I barrel towards him like a freight train.
“Oh, I think Iv-”
That’s all he’s able to get out before I’m ripping the phone right out of his fingers. If I’m lucky, I managed to leave a few claw marks. God damn it! I seriously can’t believe this is happening right now! Then I remember to smooth out my features before looking at the small screen. “Ahh, hi, dad. What are you calling for? You never call on a Monday night. Is something wrong?”
Normally we speak every Sunday afternoon. Except for yesterday because I was busy. If he has any inkling I’m angry about everything that went down after my mom died, it’s not something we discuss. Or even acknowledge. It’s all been swept neatly under the rug where it can fester.
At least for me, it does.
“Well, I was hoping that maybe you could come home next weekend and spend the day with us.”
Without even thinking about what I have going on, I immediately start shaking my head. “That sounds great, but I don’t think I can make it, dad. I don’t have a way to get home.”
Sure… I could probably borrow Lexie’s little silver Jetta but I’m not going to ask. Because I don’t want to go.
“Oh.”
That’s all he says as his face falls. The difference in his lighthearted banter with Roan only a few moments ago and mine is like a stark reminder that the past still sits heavily between us. As difficult as it is, I press my lips together, not saying a word.
After a long uncomfortable silence, he finally says, “It’s just that we haven’t seen you since you left for Paris and that was almost sixteen months ago. You’ve been so busy since you came back and we wanted to give you a little bit of time to settle in.”
We.
Him and Leah.
Always him and Leah.
Hearing him say that is like fingernails slowly scratching their way down a chalk board. I almost flinch in response.
King of Campus Page 13