My mouth falls open because it almost sounds like he’s asking me out. Not that I’m doubting what my ears just heard, but I still need him to reconfirm this. “Are you asking me out… on a date?”
His eyes hold mine and just when I start to think he might scrap the whole idea and start backpedaling; his lips slowly twitch upwards into a grin. “Yeah, I guess am. I want to take you out, Ivy.”
My facial muscles are dying to break into a huge ass grin. And yeah- maybe I’m even tempted to do a little happy dance right here in the front seat of Roan’s SUV. But I don’t. Because even though I’m starting to like him, I’m not altogether sure getting involved is a good idea.
I mean, can a relationship between us end any other way than badly?
My guess is no.
When I don’t immediately respond, his face begins to cloud. “You’re not interested?”
Holding his bright blue-green hued gaze, I can’t help but bite my lower lip. I want to. I really do. I’m just afraid there’s no point in starting something with a guy like Roan. He doesn’t do relationships. And I don’t do his brand of casual.
“I am…” I begin before my voice trails off.
With his eyes holding mine, he lowers his chin just a bit. “But?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I suddenly ask, “Why?” I guess that’s what I don’t understand. Roan can have anyone he wants. Hell, he could have lots of somebodies. And he certainly doesn’t have to bother going out on a date with them either. That much has already been established.
“Why?” He seems completely thrown by the question.
“Yeah.” My brows slowly slide together as I stare at him. “Why do you want to take me out? You’ve already told me that dating isn’t your thing.”
He stares at me for a long silent moment that leaves my heart tripping. Reaching out, he carefully slips my hand into his larger one. “It usually isn’t. I mean, it never has been before.”
That doesn’t necessarily answer my question. “But why me? I guess that’s what I don’t understand. You could have anyone you wanted. There are thousands of girls who would love to date you.” Even though that number sounds like an exaggeration, it’s probably not.
He blows out a long steady breath before finally admitting, “Because you’re the only person I can actually be myself with. I’ve never felt that way before… and I like it. A lot. I like how I feel when I’m with you.”
Something in my heart melts at his words. How can I really not take a chance on him when all he’s done is open himself up to me? Even though I’m in no way convinced this thing between us won’t end up exploding in my face, I still think that maybe… just maybe… it’s worth taking a chance on.
Roan is worth taking a chance on. And I want to, I realize. I want to say yes to him.
“Okay,” I finally whisper.
Looking absurdly relieved, a huge silly grin slides its way across his handsome face. If my heart weren’t already melting, that would totally do the trick. You’d have to be made of stone not to be affected by him.
And I am most definitely not made of stone. Especially where he’s concerned.
“Okay?”
The grin marring his face intensifies. And god help me, so does mine in response. I just can’t help it.
His eyes are wide, brimming with excitement as he reconfirms, “We’re really doing this?”
“Yeah,” I admit, feeling the very same excitement pulse and course its way through my veins. “I guess we are.”
“Alright.” He glances at the digital clock on the dashboard. “I guess we better get to class before we’re late.”
We both exit the SUV at the same time before meeting up by the hood. Roan nabs my fingers with his larger ones. For just a moment, I glance down at our clasped hands before my gaze lifts to his. I’m getting used to him doing that.
As we hit one of the main walkways that lead to Adler Hall, I begin to notice other students staring at us. Some are even pointing and whispering. A few take their phones out. Most are simply turning so they can wave or say hi to Roan. A few girls actually stop and openly stare at our joined hands as if they can’t quite believe what they’re seeing.
Roan smiles, greeting people along the way like he’s some kind of celebrity. It’s more than a little disconcerting. I mean, we’ve been out and I’ve seen how strangers respond to him but in a large group like this, just walking to class, it’s a little overwhelming the way they flock to him.
Before I know it, people are crowding around us, just trying to get close to him. Even though I’m at his side, two or three girls wiggle their way in until they’re pressed up against him. And don’t think the chick who keeps rubbing her ridiculously big breasts against his bicep has gone unnoticed either. Because she hasn’t. Unable to help myself, I shoot her a dirty look. Although it does absolutely nothing to deter her, because her eyes are trained solely on Roan.
The only thing that stops my temper from totally flaring is the fact that he isn’t paying them any attention at all. Questions are being shot at him. Greetings are called out. There are fist bumps and shoulder slaps as we slowly progress towards Adler.
The crowd surges and it almost feels as if I’m being pushed away from him. But when I try loosening my hand and moving out of the way, Roan’s grip tightens in response. His eyes touch upon mine for just a moment before tucking me closer to his big body before picking up the pace.
As we hit the cement steps of Adler, the crowd following him finally disperses.
Feeling almost agitated, I mutter under my breath, “I don’t know how you take that all the time.” I hate it. “Do you even know any of those people?”
He glances over at me before shaking his head. “There were a few guys I knew,” he shrugs his broad shoulders, “but otherwise- no.”
“And the girls?”
Ugh.
Is this really what I’ve been reduced to?
Sounding like a jealous shrew?
I don’t like it. Not one damn bit.
Again he shrugs. “I don’t really pay too much attention to them. There are always girls hanging around. That’s just the way it is.”
Sucking in a breath of air, I try to decide how I feel about this. Do I really want to deal with all the attention he seems to garner every time he steps out of his apartment? Especially on campus. I’m not going to lie- it’s a little daunting.
He squeezes my fingers in his large hand. My eyes instantly arrow to his, only to find him already watching me. “Are you having second thoughts?” There’s an odd note woven through his words. A tightness. As if he’s steeling himself for my response.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to lie. To tell him- no, of course not.
But… I guess I am.
It’s just so weird.
The way people fall all over themselves to be around him. I’ve never looked at Roan, or anyone else for that matter, like that. So it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around that kind of fawning behavior.
When I don’t immediately answer, he stops before gently placing both hands on my shoulders and turning me towards him. His eyes impale mine for a long moment before he finally says, “Let’s just take this one date at a time, okay? There’s no pressure here.”
I quirk a brow because that sounds suspiciously like he’s already thinking about multiple dates instead of just one. He grins as if he can read my mind.
His brows rise across his forehead. “Okay?”
When his eyes are on me like that, it’s hard for me not to agree with anything he says. Finally I nod my head.
Leaning forward, he softly presses his lips against mine before pulling away. “Good. Now let’s get to class before you make us late.”
I start laughing as he tows me the rest of the way.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Say it ain’t so, Roan King… please tell us that whatever is going on with the brunette isn’t serious… Give us all just a tiny little glimmer of hope to hold on to… KingO
fCampus.com
Later that evening, after I get back from teaching dance, I hear the low murmuring voices of the TV in the living room and breathe a little sigh of relief that Lexie isn’t still holed up in her room. Unfortunately my phone died after French class so I wasn’t able to reach out to her. I just hope she’s okay.
Instead of finding Lexie in the darkened living room, it’s Dylan I stumble upon. He’s sitting in the overstuffed armchair with his head cradled in his hands. Just from the way he’s hunched over I can tell something is very wrong.
Lexie isn’t anywhere to be seen.
Glancing at her bedroom door, I find it closed.
This doesn’t bode well at all.
Setting my bag down, I close the distance separating us before sitting gingerly on the couch next to the chair. When he doesn’t acknowledge my presence, I have to wonder if Dylan is even aware that he’s no longer alone. Both his hands are tunneled through his golden blond hair as he cradles his head in his big hands.
Reaching out to him, I gently lay my hand on his shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. “Dylan? Are you okay?”
When he finally looks up, I’m shocked to see that his eyes are red rimmed as if he’s been crying. He doesn’t say a word, just slowly shakes his head in answer. My heart sinks because I can only imagine that the test results ended up being positive if he’s this upset and Lexie has shuttered herself away in her room.
“What happened?”
His gaze holds mine for a long heartbeat before dropping to his fingers which are now tightly clasped in front of him. His elbows rest on his spread knees. He looks utterly miserable.
“The test was negative.”
The breath I hadn’t even been aware I’d been holding comes rushing out in relief. Thank god! Thank god she isn’t pregnant.
But… why does he look like this?
And why is Lexie alone in her room?
None of this makes sense.
Before I can ask, he says, “She broke up with me.”
“She did what?” I can’t keep the shock from entering my voice. Why would she do that? Lexie is crazy about Dylan and from all indications, he’s just as crazy about her. They’re perfect for each other. So perfect that it’s usually a little nauseating to be around them. Like you’ve eaten-too-much-sugar sickening. But I love them together.
Again he spears me with miserable deep brown eyes. “She said she needed some time alone to figure things out. That this has really scared her.” He shrugs his massive shoulders as if he doesn’t quite know what to make of her words.
He gazes at me as if he expects I might be able to better explain her rationale for breaking his heart. But I don’t have any answers. I’m just as mystified as Dylan appears to be by the situation. The silence between us stretches and grows until I feel the need to say something. Offer some small bit of comfort.
Finally I murmur, “I’m sorry. I think if you give her a little bit of time, she’ll realize she’s overreacting. I know how upsetting all this was for her.”
He nods before going back to staring down at his clenched hands. His knuckles have turned a stark shade of white. “It was hard on both of us but the difference is that I don’t want to throw away what we have together because something life changing almost happened to us.”
As I shake my head, my response gets stuck in my throat. Because he’s right. Looking physically pained, Dylan finally gets to his feet. “I stayed here because I didn’t want her to be alone in the apartment. Now that you’re home, I’m going to head back to my place.” Slowly his eyes slide to Lexie’s bedroom door as if he’s unsure what to do or how to proceed. I guess there are no playbooks when something like this happens, you just have to wing it and hope you’re doing the right thing. His deep voice almost breaks when he finally murmurs, “Take care of her, okay? You know she’ll just lie in bed and wallow if you let her.”
His words break my heart right in half. What he’s saying is absolutely true. She will wallow in bed. She’s always been like that. I say the words again because I want them to be true. “I’m sure she’ll come around, Dylan. Just give it a few days. I’ll talk to her.”
Looking dejected, he nods before quietly closing the door behind him. With my mind spinning, I hesitantly knock on Lexie’s door. When there’s no answer, I call out, “Lexie, sweetie? Can I come in?”
When there’s still no answer, I knock a little bit harder. She needs to understand that I’m not going to just leave her in there by herself. “Please, Lex, I want to make sure you’re okay.”
I hear a small sob and decide to open the door regardless because I know if the situation were reversed, she wouldn’t just walk away. Pushing the door open, I slowly peek around the corner. She’s curled up in a tight ball on the mattress. The light from the hallway slants over the bed and I notice her face is pale and streaked with tears.
My heart hurts for her and what she’s going through. “Oh, Lex,” Gingerly I sit on the edge of the bed so I can look down at her. Softly I run my fingers through her hair. “Talk to me. Tell me why you’re so upset. Dylan said the test ended up being negative.”
“Yeah,” her voice cracks, “it was.”
I wish I could understand what’s going through her head right now. I hate that she’s breaking up with someone who cares so much about her. “Why did you break up with him, hon?”
She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and stays silent for so long, I begin to wonder if she’ll even answer me. “What happened was terrible, Ivy. I just can’t take the chance something like that could happen again. I don’t want my life getting derailed because a stupid condom ended up breaking.”
Not sure what to say to her rationale, I inhale a deep breath before slowly pushing it back out. I guess I can see where she’s coming from but still… It just feels like Lexie is overreacting to a situation that could have turned out disastrously… but didn’t.
“You still love Dylan, don’t you?” Have I totally misinterpreted the feelings between them? Maybe she doesn’t feel as strongly about him as I thought she did.
A silent tear slowly treks its way down her cheek before she finally nods her head. “I love him more than anything.” She inhales a huge breath before forcing out the rest, “But I feel like we need to take a break. Pull back a bit. I didn’t go to college to find a husband or baby daddy. I want to finish my degree and get some kickass job in fashion. That’s the plan. It’s always been the plan. Not getting knocked up at twenty-one and having to drop out.” Her voice finally breaks on those last words.
“Oh, Lex.” I honestly don’t know how to comfort her. I thought maybe she was overreacting but maybe… maybe she’s not. Maybe she’s right to take a little breathing room and get her priorities figured out. I’ve never had a close call before but what she’s describing scares the shit out of me. All it takes is one moment for your life to change.
Even though Lexie has dodged a bullet, instead of celebrating her good fortune, she’s breaking up with her boyfriend. I can’t help but gently tug her into my arms before wrapping them around her. “Everything will be okay. I think you just need to take some time and process what happened. If you truly love Dylan, then you shouldn’t break up with him over this. He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, once you told him what was going on, he was totally there for you. Not all guys are like that.”
Pulling away from me, she silently searches my eyes. “No, he’s wonderful.” She sniffs again before wiping her eyes. “But he’ll want sex on a regular basis and I’m not sure if I can do that. I don’t even want to think about sex right now.”
“Okay,” I nod, “that makes sense, but maybe you just need to go on the pill and continue using condoms. That way you’re doubly protected. If one fails, you’re still good.”
“I tried going on the pill freshman year and all it did was make me sick.” Looking resolute, she shakes her head. “It’s not an option.”
I nod, suddenly remembering exactly what she’s talking
about. For some reason, Lexie was really sensitive to the estrogen and progestin hormones in the pill. She was nauseous all the time and didn’t last more than two weeks on it. And I certainly can’t say I blame her for it either. She was miserable.
“Maybe you should go back to the clinic and talk to someone about what other options are available. There has to be something else besides condoms.”
Halfheartedly she shrugs her shoulders. Already I can tell that no matter what I say, her mind is made up. “Maybe. I just don’t want to think about it right now.”
“Okay,” I agree lightly, “just promise me that you’ll talk with Dylan. He was really upset when I found him sitting in the living room, Lex.” I can’t help but remember how he said he was simply waiting for me to come home so she wouldn’t be alone. I mean… she can’t dump someone who loves her so much!
“I know. I…I just need a break right now. I need to focus on my classes and be on my own for a little while.”
My eyes skim over her. She looks tired and pale and just as miserable as the guy she broke up with. “Have you even eaten today?” There are dark smudges under her eyes. I’m betting she hasn’t.
“No, I wasn’t hungry and after the appointment there was just so much churning in my head. And then Dylan and I kind of got into a fight.”
“About what?”
She swipes at another tear. “He was so ecstatic that I wasn’t pregnant and couldn’t understand why I was still upset about everything. He seriously wanted to come back here and have celebratory sex.” She gives me a look like he asked her to murder a basket full of puppies.
I give her a small smile in return. Because yeah, I get where she’s coming from. But it just sounds like he was being a typical guy.
“I think he was relieved that everything was okay.”
Her brows snap together as a spark of fire jumps into her eyes. “Don’t make excuses for him! The guy thinks about sex twenty-four seven. I mean, obviously I was relieved too, but I wasn’t about to jump back into bed and do what had gotten us into this mess in the first place!”
King of Campus Page 22