A small smirk nudges his lips upwards as he holds my gaze. “So…” he finally drawls out, “they’re going to be holding an audition in two weeks. They’ve just lost two dancers to injury from the corps de ballet.” He pauses, allowing the bomb he just dropped to fully sink in before adding, “I think you should go to Cincinnati for the audition, Ivy. This could be the break you’ve been waiting for.”
When I’m finally able to wrap my lips around the words, I whisper, “Are you serious?” Because I can hardly believe he is. This is just too… too… amazing to actually be happening.
Eric was here my freshman year when I started at Barnett and he’s the one who helped me prepare my audition when I applied at the Conservatoire de Paris. It’s only because of his encouragement that I even submitted an application for the study abroad program in the first place. I don’t think I could have done it without him. I wouldn’t have believed enough in myself as a dancer without him there to push and prod me every step of the way. He’s a demanding teacher but I’m a better dancer because of it.
He levels me with a hard look. “Of course I am. Positions don’t open up very often and when they do, they’re highly coveted. And there are two of them right now!”
I nibble my bottom lip as his words continue to sink in because I know he’s right. This kind of opportunity won’t come around again for a while. And having spent the last year in Paris, studying and performing, I feel like there couldn’t be a more perfect time for me to audition. I learned so much at the Conservatoire, my skills have never been sharper.
But… I’m not sure I want to leave Barnett at the end of the semester. I mean, I just got back from Paris… I’m finally settled in again…
And then there’s Roan…
Eric’s eyes narrow just a bit as he watches me. It’s as if he knows exactly what’s rolling through my head. “You have to do this, Ivy. You have to go to Cincinnati and audition. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you let an opportunity like this slip through your fingers. Trust me on this.”
I can’t help but ask, because I know precisely what kind of amazing dancers an audition like this will draw. “Do you really think I’m ready for this? Ready to compete for a position at the Cincinnati Ballet?” I can hardly believe I’m even asking that question. As if I have the talent to even be considered for a spot with them. Before he has a chance to answer, I start to ramble. My voice rising with the nerves that are already prickling just beneath my skin. “You know what kind of dancers I’ll have to compete against!”
The best.
Suddenly I feel sick to my stomach.
Can I seriously compete against professional dancers of that caliber? Am I even good enough to step foot in the same room with them?
Reaching out with both hands, he grabs my upper arms firmly until my eyes arrow to his. When he knows he has my complete attention, he says in a calm voice, “I wouldn’t have singled you out, Ivy, if I didn’t think you had the talent, skill, and determination to become a soloist. That’s my honest opinion.”
As his words wash over me, they’re somehow able to calm the nerves that were just beginning to spiral out of control. Eric believes in me. He wouldn’t risk his name or reputation, if he didn’t truly believe I had what it took to make it as a professional dancer.
His voice is soft when he finally says, “Look, you don’t need to make any decisions right now. Just take a day or two and think about it, okay?” He gives my arms another light squeeze before finally drawing away.
Inhaling a deep breath, I nod. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”
As I leave the studio, it still feels like I’m in a daze. I can’t believe this is really happening! It’s like a dream come true. To become a dancer in a company is all I’ve ever wanted since I was a little girl with my first pair of ballet shoes. I almost shake my head because, honestly, I shouldn’t even have to think about this.
Who has to consider an amazing opportunity like this?
Ummm… no one. That’s who.
But I do need to think about it.
Am I ready to leave school right now and move again?
My jacket is tucked around me as I race down the cement stairs of the fine arts building. I feel like I’m on autopilot right now. Everything, all of the pros and cons, are tumbling through my head at lightning speed as I move through campus.
I can’t believe there are cons that even need to be considered.
But there are.
And my relationship with Roan is one of them.
It’s been a little more than two weeks since that afternoon picnic at his dad’s cabin. I never thought in a million years I could fall for Roan King. But I have. We haven’t dropped the big- I love you bombs yet. But the feeling is there. The words are practically bursting from my lips anytime I’m with him. It’s getting harder and harder to rein them in. I feel more for Roan than I ever did for Finn. Which is kind of surprising, considering I’ve known Roan for a little more than two months and I was in a relationship with Finn for six.
If I leave Barnett now, I’m not sure how we’ll make a long distance relationship work. This whole thing between us is still relatively new. Finn and I were together for a lot longer and he certainly wasn’t willing to stick it out. And then there’s Lexie and the apartment we rented together. I would feel awful about ditching her halfway through the year.
Although I’m probably getting ahead of myself. Even if I audition, the chances of me actually getting offered one of the positions is slim. Inhaling a deep breath, I slowly force it out. My mind is spinning right now.
“Hey, babe.”
Roan materializes out of nowhere before pulling me into his arms. Or I’m just really out of it and not paying attention to anything around me. My heartbeat feels as if it’s thumping so hard I can’t help but squeak out a response. “Hi.”
A big smile moves over his handsome face. “Did I startle you?”
The look has my lips turning up at the corners. Even though I feel conflicted about what I should do regarding the audition, I’m always happy to see Roan. Always happy to be nestled in his big strong embrace.
“I guess you did. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
He squeezes my body to his before planting a soft kiss on the crown of my head. He winces as my arm slides around his ribs. The smile falls from my lips as I glance up at him in concern.
“Are you hurt?”
He gives a little jerk of his shoulders. “Not really. I took a few hits today in practice. Nothing to be concerned about.”
Pulling away, my fingers immediately skim under his sweatshirt finding the warm flesh beneath before I slide it up. I can’t help the surprised gasp that leaves my lips as I stare at the ugly bruise already starting to form on the right side of his ribcage.
My eyes flick to his again. He gives another little shrug. “Big game this Saturday. Bowling Green. Everyone wants to knock us from our number one seed.”
The Barnett Bulldogs haven’t lost a single game this season. Bulldog fever has officially reached epic proportions around here. And Roan has been working out more than ever trying to get ready for each and every game.
I never realized that playing football, or any sport at the college level, is more like a job. Especially when you’re attending a division I school. It’s not just showing up for the games. There are practices, sometimes two of them, every single day. Film to watch, plays to go over, and strength training. Between football and classes, Roan has very little in the way of free time.
Every once in a while I catch a fleeting glimpse of the stress he’s under and the toll it’s taking on him. In those moments I just want to make everything better for him. I want to be the safe place where big strong Roan King can let down his protective armor.
Slanting my eyes up at him, I whisper, “How about I kiss and make it all better when we get home?”
A wolfish grin tilts his lips upward before he gives me a little wink. �
�Only if I can do the same.”
I can’t help but smile. “Deal.”
Soothing my fingers gently over the fresh bruises blooming their way across his flesh, I gently tug his shirt down before we start walking towards the parking lot where his truck is parked. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the audition. I really need his advice on this. But I also know he has a lot on his mind right now with the big Bowling Green game coming up this weekend.
The last thing he needs to worry about is me.
Glancing over at him, I notice the faint smudges under his eyes. He’s working so hard. Up and out the door before I even wake in the morning to work out in the gym before practice. Then its classes, studying, watching game film, and yet another practice before falling exhaustedly into bed only to do the same thing all over again the next day.
But I also know saying something about it won’t do any good. He isn’t going to stop pushing himself until he achieves what he’s set out to. It’s part of what I admire about him. He’s so dedicated and focused.
So it’s lightly that I comment, “You look tired.”
Again he smiles. Then he’s pulling me in close right before his lips sweep across mine. “I am.” Something sparks to life in his gorgeous turquoise eyes as they crinkle at the corners. “But not too tired, if you know what I mean.”
I can’t help but laugh as I roll my eyes. Yeah… Roan is never too tired for that.
The only time we don’t have sex is the night before a game.
He’s superstitious. Some ridiculous bullshit about sex sapping his strength and all that mumbo jumbo. Whatever…
“Yes,” I reply drily, “I know.” But he’s more than aware that my tone is just a big act. I love what we do in bed together. In fact, I’m pretty damn obsessed with Roan and his big gorgeous body right now. I could literally spend hours in bed exploring all those hard bulging muscles. Even the thought of it has my panties dampening with excitement.
He chuckles as we continue walking down the cement pathway. A few people call out and wave as we pass. They congratulate him on Barnett’s winning season and ask how he thinks the Bulldogs will fair against Bowling Green. He’s always courteous, thanking them for their support.
It’s almost hilarious how I thought he was such a conceited jackass. Because honestly, now that I know him, Roan is the furthest thing from a jerk. I can’t help but watch him out of the corner of my eye as we reach his truck. Like always, he opens the door for me. Then he moves around the hood before sliding in besides me. Starting up the engine, he pulls out. Once again I find my eyes settling on him as he focuses on the road.
Somehow Roan has turned out to be one of the best things in my life. I love being with him. Just hanging out or talking. Being held in those huge arms of his. Just his presence makes everything better.
My breath catches as I’m struck with the realization that I love him.
Truly love him.
Thinking about auditioning in Cincinnati and leaving school in December, maybe even sooner, has only brought these feelings into sharper focus. Sucking in a surprised breath, I suddenly realize I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want this to end between us. I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready to let him go.
But I don’t want to give up on something I’ve worked my entire life to achieve either. Just like I wouldn’t expect Roan to give up on his dream of playing professional football for me. I wouldn’t want him ever making that kind of choice.
Before I even realize it, we’re pulling into our apartment complex. Roan cuts the engine before turning towards me. He winces just a bit as he twists his torso. Dance can be hard on your body, especially your feet, but football seems to be brutal on everything. Especially when it’s the job of some gigantic dude to tackle you to the ground. The two games I watched him play, I sat nervously up in the stands, biting my nails the entire time he was out there, praying he wouldn’t get hit. That he wouldn’t suffer from a concussion or some other type of serious injury.
Because it happens.
All too often.
“You’ve been awfully quiet, Ivy.” Reaching out, he gently caresses my cheek before cradling it in his big palm. “You gonna tell me what’s on your mind?”
My shoulders sag knowing that if I was going to sit on the news of my audition, it isn’t going to happen any longer. I don’t want to hold back or lie to him about what’s going on. When I don’t immediately answer, his thumb strokes just under my chin and I can’t help but close my eyes in pleasure as a sigh falls from my lips. I love when he runs his fingers over me.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
My insides pinch because honestly, this audition is wonderful news. A chance to dance professionally.
My eyelashes sweep up again. “There’s nothing wrong. Everything is fine.”
Cocking his head, it feels as if his eyes are carefully sifting through mine. Combing through them for the truth. Before I can say anything else, his expression hardens. “Someone giving you a hard time?”
“What?” My brows pinch together before I remember the website and some of the not-so-nice conversations I’ve had with a few of the women on campus. Although, thankfully, it happens less and less now. I think people are finally getting used to seeing us together. Even the photographs on that stupid website haven’t been quite so bad. Because in the beginning, they were almost always unflattering. Me without an ounce of makeup on. Or bending over. Or in the midst of saying something so I would be making a weird face. There was even one of me snapped in the studio when I was adjusting my boobs. So I pretty much look like I was feeling myself up.
Yeah… that one really pissed me off. You can just imagine what kind of comments that photo received.
I shake my head. “No, nothing like that.” Taking a deep gulp of breath, I force out the words. “Eric told me about an audition for the Cincinnati Ballet in two weeks. They’ve lost two dancers. He thinks it would be an amazing opportunity for me.”
For a long moment, Roan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even blink. It’s as if he has to give himself a little mental shake before his deep voice booms, “That’s wonderful news, Ivy!” Then he’s pulling me to his chest, his lips pressing against my forehead.
I can’t help the huge smile that curves the edges of my lips upwards. It feels like such a relief to tell him and he seems so thrilled for me. “You really think so?”
He pulls away just a bit so our eyes can lock. “Of course it is! It’s absolutely amazing news. When’s the audition?”
Now that he knows and is clearly happy about it, I feel my own excitement rising at the prospect. “In two weeks. That’s all Eric told me.”
He nods. “That gives you two weeks to prepare something so you can knock them dead.”
I blow out a breath. “Yeah.” Which means I need to focus on a solo as well as my classes. Because I can’t just let them fall to shit. This audition probably won’t go anywhere.
He says quietly, “You’re going to be awesome, Ivy. I don’t know much about dance but I know how I feel when I watch you perform. And not everybody has that kind of gift.” He pauses, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words. “I can’t take my eyes off you when you’re out there. It’s like you’re lit up from within.”
His words have my breath catching in my throat. That’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me about my dancing. Feeling absurdly touched, I whisper huskily, “Thank you. That really means a lot to me.”
I hate bringing this up, but I have to. “If, and that’s a huge if-”
Cutting me off, he says, “No it’s not. It’s when.”
I can’t help but smile as I swat at his chest, careful not to hit the bruised areas under his shirt. “You don’t even know what I’m about to say.”
“Yes, I do. You’re talking about getting the part. Actually making it.”
The smile falters just a bit from my lips. “Yeah. I’m going to be competing against professiona
l dancers who are more talented and way more experienced than I am.”
Looking just a bit frustrated by my lack of confidence, he says almost softly, “Ivy, don’t you get it?”
I can only blink at him. Because apparently, no… I don’t. “Get what?”
“Those dancers need to compete against you,” he says softly. “You’re the one with all the talent. They need to watch out for you.”
A thick sheen of tears fills my eyes because what he’s saying means so much to me. It actually means everything. “Roan-”
He shakes his head. “It’s the truth and obviously Eric knows it as well. That’s why he told you about the audition.” Inhaling a deep breath, he pushes it out slowly. “You’re going to Cincinnati and you’re going to be brilliant. I don’t have any doubts about it. If I weren’t in the middle of the season, I would take you there myself, but I can’t.”
Leaning over, I kiss him on the lips. God, if I hadn’t already realized that I loved him, this conversation would have totally done it for me.
Nipping my lower lip with my teeth, I can’t help but ask, “And what about us?” Because now, more than ever, I don’t want to leave him. Or lose him.
Looking unconcerned, he just smiles. “We’ll be fine. Just focus on nailing this audition. There’ll be plenty of time to work out the details after we know what’s going on.”
He’s being so supportive about this. I feel so lucky right now. “Really?”
He grins. “Really-really.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that. “Okay then.” I feel so much lighter and happier now that I’ve talked this out with Roan. I feel like I can finally be excited about this audition. And I realize as those feelings wash through me, that I want it more than anything.
I want to go to Cincinnati and kill this audition.
Chapter Thirty
Who would have ever thought that our very own Roan King would actually settle down with a girl? And look so damn content doing it??? *Headshake* Mind totally blown… KingOfCampus.com
King of Campus Page 29