‘I get it,’ Ben said, lying back lazily on the lounger. ‘Like I said the other day, I wish I’d have done more of it when I had the chance. Seeing parts of France and Spain was great but there’s so much of the world to explore.’
‘Why don’t you?’ I blurted out. ‘You could always catch up with me or Pete, somewhere exotic.’ I tried to keep my tone light, but inside, my heart was leaping at just the thought of it.
He laughed. ‘I’d love nothing more, but I’ve got too many responsibilities.’ He shrugged. ‘I’d love a postcard or two though.’
‘That’s very retro,’ I teased. ‘But I can manage a postcard.’
‘Are you not in the least bit scared?’ he asked more seriously.
‘A little, but mostly I’m excited. Nine months ago, when I was a jabbering wreck drinking the out-of-date contents of the booze cupboard, I couldn’t have even imagined myself here. Sometimes we’re much bigger than the things we can imagine, which are often a product of “the now”. Your mind needs to be free to dream big.’
‘I take your point.’ One of the empty champagne flutes blew over and started to roll backwards, Ben stopped it with his foot and propped it up again.
‘See, you were about to acknowledge big thinking and you got distracted by the now.’ I was only half joking. A small part of me was rooting for him to do something big – if he wanted to travel, he should do it.
‘I was trying to prevent an impending disaster actually,’ he retorted. ‘That glass could have broken and hurt someone.’ He checked his watch. ‘Too late for another drink.’
‘Why, what time is it?’ I was sure the bars stayed open until at least two a.m.
‘It’s half-two.’
‘Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve stayed up until half-two. There’s a twenty-four hour food place that serves drinks,’ I said.
‘Don’t suppose you fancy a pizza, do you?’ He grinned. I thought about it for a minute, knowing full well I should have gone to bed, but after my high and mighty speech about being bigger than my imagination and telling him to live his dreams, I could hardly wimp off to bed. Besides, if I left, the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest would leave too.
I sat and looked out to sea whilst Ben went for supplies. I regretted trying to push him to travel. I of all people understood what it was like to be in a secure job with a home, family, friends – a life. I danced around a niggling thought in my head, not daring to select it for contemplation because it was so absurd and ridiculous. But eventually I forced myself to. I wanted Ben to come travelling with me. I almost gasped but I saw Ben approaching and my breach caught. When he sat down on the lounger beside me all I could do was stare at him wide-eyed.
‘Are you okay?’ He placed the tray down on the floor and handed me a glass of Prosecco. I accepted it gratefully.
‘I’m fine,’ I said, my chest pounding. ‘I just wanted to say sorry, for nagging at you to travel,’ I managed.
‘It’s okay,’ he replied, smiling easily. ‘You’re probably right.’
We shared a pizza, which was delicious. I couldn’t believe how different the food was down in the crew’s mess. Well, actually I could, but how could even the pizza taste better on the higher decks?
‘I was hungrier than I thought,’ I said when it had gone.
‘I think you ate some of my half too. Don’t they feed you below deck?’
‘I skipped lunch today … and dinner.’ I added the last part as an afterthought because I hadn’t even realized.
‘Well, that’s no good. You’re going to need your strength for sightseeing tomorrow,’ he said, tipping his glass to drain the last drop of Prosecco.
We chatted some more about our jobs, families, and the towns we lived in. Ben was very easy to talk to – he listened to what I had to say but, in turn, had the most interesting tales to tell of his own. I wasn’t sure what time it was when the air began to cool, but Ben noticed the goose bumps on my arms and took off his tuxedo jacket, draping it over me without a word.
He moved his lounger up to mine, until our shoulders touched and the heat from his body radiated towards me. I suddenly became aware of every part of my body: the blood in my veins, my muscles contracting, and my knees – what were my knees doing? He leaned over and kissed me gently on my cheek. I turned to face him, my mouth accepting his kiss as he slid an arm around my waist, pulling me in.
I was distracted by light, caught by the corner of my eye, and I gently pulled away. I gasped, causing Ben to follow my eye.
‘Oh wow,’ he said, taking in the magnificent view of the sun rising out to the east of the bow. The reflection of the first few rays of dawn danced around on the sea, reflecting yellow and white glitter across the waves.
‘We talked all night,’ he said.
‘We talked all night,’ I echoed slowly. ‘Who needs a balcony cabin?’
‘Or that that six-thirty meeting time,’ he said humorously. We stood up and stretched before leaning on the rail to get a better look as the fresh morning air hit our faces.
The ship neared the opening to the port, and mountains rose from the sea, striking the sky. As we started to sail into the bay, we saw the tiny villages dotted along the shoreline, which seemed to get bigger and bigger as the ship sailed further in. Small boats bobbed up and down in the wake of the Requiescence.
‘I’m glad we got up early for this,’ Ben joked.
‘Me too,’ I said, enchanted by the scene. The pictures had done very little to portray the beauty of the bay. He shifted a little closer so his arm brushed mine, still wrapped in his jacket, which I’d slipped into at some point during the evening. I rested my head on his shoulder as the inlet opened out again and we headed towards another narrow canyon. The sun had begun to light the mountain tops, and warmth began to travel slowly down the cliff faces.
‘If Lydia was honeymooning with me, there isn’t a chance we’d have got up, or stayed up to see this,’ he said, after a while of silence.
‘I probably wouldn’t have dragged myself out of bed either,’ I agreed. ‘I can’t believe we’ve missed bedtime though.’ I nudged him gently. ‘It’s been a while since I’ve stayed up all night.’
‘Me too, and now I’m going to have to do the walk of shame. I haven’t had to do that since about 2002 and now here I am in my mid-thirties about to do it again.’
‘At least you’re respectably dressed,’ I teased.
‘There is that. I’ve never done it in a tux before. I’ll feel a bit like James Bond, sneaking around in a suit.’
‘And you have the added bonus of not having to dodge your boss and colleagues.’ I wrinkled my nose at the thought. As we approached the next narrow gorge, a couple joined us on the deck, giving me a strong feeling of self-awareness.
‘I better go before anyone else catches me in last night’s clothing.’ I slid off his jacket. ‘Here take this,’ I said, handing it back to him. As I turned to leave, he caught my arm.
‘Wait.’ He looked over to the couple who’d just arrived. They had their backs to us, looking out at the scenery. He leaned towards me and planted a soft, gentle kiss on my forehead. ‘Can I spend some time with you in Kotor then?’ he asked, tracing his finger down my jawline.
‘Yes, okay. We can meet in the old town. Head to the Kampana Tower. It’s not too far from the entrance to the old town. I’ll meet you at the top.’ I ran a hand down his arm. ‘See you there in an hour?’
‘See you in an hour.’
I scurried away with my head down, careful not to meet the gaze of anyone, but as I opened the door to go inside near the gym, I ran straight into the firm chest of a man.
‘Hannah?’ I looked up, heart pounding.
‘Pete,’ I said, relaxing slightly.
‘You’re a bit overdressed for HIIT.’ He was joking, but his pursed lips suggested he knew exactly what was going on. I looked up at him and he nodded towards a door to his right. ‘Come here.’ He pulled me into a staff cupboard by the gym. He rummag
ed through some of the shelves and pulled out some clothes. ‘Put these on,’ he ordered, thrusting a pile of clothing at me. ‘There’s no way you’ll make it back to your cabin without raising eyebrows dressed like that.’
‘Size six!’ I frowned. ‘I’ll be lucky to squeeze my leg in these,’ I said, holding up the luminous pink Lycra shorts. ‘Are they from the Eighties?’ I began to wriggle into them, knowing I had very little choice.
‘You’re not really in a position to protest,’ he said, folding his arms. ‘Where have you been anyway? Please say you haven’t been in Ben’s cabin? You won’t get away with that.’
‘No! We went up to deck fourteen and just sat and talked, then all of a sudden the sun came up.’ Pete shook his head and turned around so I could take off the dress and change into the bright yellow sports bra. He turned around and looked me over from head to toe, raising an eyebrow when his eyes dropped to my stilettos.
‘Well I wasn’t going to be wearing trainers under my evening dress, was I?’
‘Just take them off and if anyone asks, you were doing Pilates, okay?’
‘Okay, and thank you. I feel ridiculous but it’s better than getting caught.’ I walked towards him and gave him a hug. He reeled back in mock protest.
‘Your fashion sense could be catching,’ he joked.
‘You might as well take the dress back to Britney for me. Oh, and the shoes – they’re hers too.’ I gave a small smile.
He nodded. ‘Now go! Some of us are working already,’ he said, shoving me out of the door.
My thighs felt like sausages squeezed into the tiny shorts and my stomach oozed over the top, despite the fact I was slimmer than I’d ever been. The shorts were unforgiving and the tiny cropped sports bra was hardly modest. I wrapped my arms around myself and hurried back to the cabin without raising my head once.
‘Have you been auditioning to join LMFAO?’ Kristy said as I walked in. She was already up and dressed in her normal clothes, applying make-up.
‘Very funny.’ I yawned. ‘It’s been a long night.’
‘I don’t even want to know.’
‘Are you heading in to Kotor today?’ I asked, feeling panicky.
‘I thought I’d have an hour ashore before we open the spa. You haven’t forgotten we have a late start today, have you?’ she asked.
‘No, I just didn’t know you were free.’
‘I’m meeting Britney. Are you going to come with us or do you have other plans?’ She raised an eyebrow.
‘I have other plans,’ I replied sheepishly. She gave me a knowing look and continued applying her eyeliner.
‘Stay off the beaten track and have fun,’ she said, throwing her phone and sun block in her bag. ‘I’ll see you at work later.’
I dived in the shower quickly, smothered myself in sun cream, and pulled on a purple and pink floral playsuit. It was a boob-tube style I hoped would help me get rid of my strap lines. I towel dried my hair, put on some BB cream and a slick of waterproof mascara, and I was ready to go. My concentration was all over the place as I packed my bag – I’d randomly thrown in a tube of moisturizer instead of my phone. I was rushing; I couldn’t wait to get to the Kampana Tower.
The Requiescence was too big to dock in Kotor’s port, so I caught a tender to the shore. I’d managed to get a seat up on top in the open air, and was rewarded by wonderful views of the fortress on the approach. As we neared the harbour we sailed past the super yachts that shimmered and glittered in the cobalt water. Once we’d arrived, I dodged the taxi drivers touting for business and went through the small sea gate, the entrance to the old town decorated with cannons.
As I shuffled through with the crowds, I caught sight of the winged lion of St Mark’s. The symbol sent flashbacks of Ben kissing me at St Mark’s Square flashing before my eyes. I made way to the Kampana Tower and stood at the top, looking out towards the port authority building.
I saw Ben approaching and waved at him. He looked up and waved back. As he made his way up I continued taking in the view – the fountain just below, the bay, the emerald backdrop. It was stunning
‘What a beautiful place,’ Ben said as he reached me, slightly out of breath.
‘It’s just as beautiful as it looked from the ship.’ For a minute we stood side by side in the sun, looking out to the bay.
‘I can’t believe the history here,’ he said, eventually.
‘I wish I had more time to explore.’ I checked the time. ‘I’ve only just got here and it’s almost time to go – I’d not factored in the tender.’
‘You have time for this though.’ He looked around to make sure we were alone and took my hands, pulling me towards him so our bodies were close. He pressed a gentle kiss on my lips.
‘We can’t do that here,’ I objected but I didn’t pull away. ‘The place is teeming with people from the ship.’
‘I know, but I can’t seem to help it,’ he said, grinning. I looked up into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to kiss him back. It was so frustrating being in such a beautiful place, with such a beautiful man, and not being able to act upon my urges. I entwined my fingers with his, but as I did I heard voices approaching and let go immediately. A couple with a large DSL camera approached where we stood and began to take photographs. I tensed. The lady’s handbag bore the ship’s logo, but luckily, I didn’t recognize them from the spa so they probably wouldn’t have recognized me.
‘Ben!’ The woman trotted over to him, embracing him in a big hug. She was probably in her early fifties and was fairly plump. The peak of a pink sun visor popped out the front of her poofy blonde hair. Her husband was short and slight with greying brown hair that was thinning on top. He smiled awkwardly at Ben.
‘Hi Sandra, Michael.’ Ben shook the man’s hand.
‘You weren’t in The Mast last night,’ Sandra said playfully accusing. The Mast was the on-board British-themed pub; Ben had mentioned going in there a few times.
‘I know, I caught the show and then had an early night.’
Sandra rubbed his arm and gave him a sympathetic look. ‘There are bound to be ups and downs,’ she said consolingly. ‘And who’s this lovely-looking girl?’
‘This is Hannah. She actually works on the ship. I met her when I had a massage on my first cruise and we’ve just bumped into each other – apparently we’ve all had the same great idea.’ He laughed nervously. ‘Hannah, Sandra and Michael are cruising with us. I met them in the bar the other night and let them beat me at the quiz.’
‘Let us beat you! Just you wait until tonight.’ She prodded him jokingly. ‘Anyway, Hannah, I may well see you later. I’m booked in for a pedicure.’ She smiled before taking Michael by the arm and directing him away. I relaxed my body.
‘That was close.’ I sighed, leaning back against the grey stone wall.
‘Sandra is quite insightful, you know. There have been plenty of ups on this cruise.’ He gave me a sideward glance and I felt my face blush.
‘You are trouble.’ I pointed at him for emphasis but couldn’t help my wide smile.
‘It’s not my fault you find me so irresistible.’
‘Well I’m going to have to resist you and your oversized head. I really need to go.’ He held his hand up to his chest as if he were pained at the thought of me going. ‘I’m sorry,’ I mouthed before blowing a kiss and walking off.
On the way back to the ship I walked at least a foot above the pavement, his words echoing in my mind: ‘It’s not my fault you find me so irresistible.’ He was right. I did. And it was driving me crazy, to the point where I envied Sandra and her ability to share a quiz and a drink with Ben out in public.
Back in the spa, my mind wasn’t on the job. I stacked dirty towels on the treatment room shelves instead of clean ones, and threw a pile of clean towels in the dirty linen trolley. I did a manicure, and the lady whose fingernails made the transformation from nude to cerise talked for the full thirty minutes without me catching so much as a word of what she’d said. Still
, she left happy. I was setting up the pedicure station and filling the water in the pedicure chair when my next client arrived. ‘Hannah,’ she squealed.
‘Sandra.’ I tried and failed to match her level of excitement. ‘Please take a seat.’ I gestured to the chair and she plonked herself in it, letting out a deep breath.
‘Ooh I need this after all the walking we’ve just done.’ She settled her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes.
‘I didn’t get much chance to walk around. Did you enjoy the town?’
‘Yes, it was beautiful. I’m so glad Michael dragged me off on his photo-shoot,’ she said. ‘Ben is a lovely lad.’ I’d wondered how long it would take her to bring Ben up. She’d held out longer than I’d expected.
‘He is. I’ve bumped into him a few times,’ I said.
‘Just a few?’ she said, opening her eyes and raising an eyebrow.
‘Yes, why?’
‘You looked quite cosy, that’s all,’ she said, before adding more seriously, ‘I saw how he looked at you. Michael used to look at me that way, like I was the only woman in the world he could see.’ I felt a shiver down my spine. I started to file and buff away at her toenails in an attempt at forced nonchalance, hoping she’d change the subject. ‘He isn’t hung up on his fiancée, you know. I only met him a few days ago and even I know that.’
‘I think you misunderstood our situation,’ I said. ‘Crew or staff members are not allowed to have any kind of relationship with guests. We’ve just bumped into one another a few times, that’s all. Please can you put your feet in the water and let them soak. I’ll be back in a minute.’
I briskly made my way to the sanctuary of the staff room where I closed the door and let out a breath. I couldn’t cope with Psychic Sandra’s assessment. At least when nobody else had seen us together, I could pretend to myself, to Kristy and Pete, that nothing serious was going on, but Sandra wasn’t buying it. Sandra knew more than I would admit to myself. Bloody Sandra.
The Holiday Cruise Page 22