by Joan Jonker
‘Never mind, Mam. After the holidays yer can buy him a new one.’
At that moment Colin poked his head around the door. ‘Mam, he’s just gone past.’
‘OK, son, I’m just waiting for the pans to boil to fill the tub, then I’ll slip next door.’
Dot waited after knocking at the door but there was no sound. She knew Mary was in because the woman never went over the door at night. So when there was no answer to her second knock, either, she lifted the letter box and shouted through, ‘Mary, it’s Dot. Will yer open the flippin’ door before I freeze to death?’
After a few seconds the door slowly opened several inches, just enough for Mary’s forehead to be seen. ‘What is it, Dot?’
‘I wanted to have a word with yer, that’s all. It seems ages since you an’ me had a really good natter.’
‘Could yer make it another time, Dot, I’m busy right now.’
‘No, Mary. Now I’ve made the effort to get off me backside, leave a nice warm fire just to see yer, I’m not comin’ back another time.’ Dot kept her tone light. ‘Yer haven’t got a fancy man in there, by any chance, have yer?’
‘I don’t feel very well, Dot. Make it another night, please.’
Dot put her hand on the door and pushed it open. ‘If I have to stand here all night, love, I’m not leaving until I’ve had a word with yer. So before I turn into a bloody icicle, move aside and let me pass.’ She stepped into the hall, giving her neighbour no option but to move back and let her in. ‘I hope yer’ve got a good fire going, Mary. I’m frozen right through to me flippin’ marrow. Goose-pimples all over, I am.’
Mary closed the door and shuffled along the hall in a pair of well-worn slippers. ‘I’ve just put a few cobs on the fire, they’ll burn up in no time.’ Her shoulders drooping, she led the way into the living room. Just inside, she turned, a hand covering the left side of her face. ‘I walked into a door in the dark and gave meself a black eye.’
Dot reached over and pulled her hand gently away. ‘Oh, my God!’ Mary’s eye, and the top part of her cheek, was black and blue, and so swollen the whole side of her face was disfigured. ‘He did that to you?’
‘I told yer, I walked into a door!’ There were tears in the other woman’s eyes. ‘It was me own fault for not lookin’ where I was going.’
‘Come off it, Mary, I wasn’t born yesterday. Yer never got that by walking into a door, I’d stake me life on it.’ Dot took hold of her elbow and led her to a chair. ‘Sit down, sunshine, and then I can park me carcass as well.’ She waited until her neighbour was seated then chose a chair facing her. ‘What did he hit yer for this time? And don’t try and give me some cock-and-bull story, Mary, ’cos yer make a bloody awful liar.’
Her head bowed, Mary picked nervously at her nails. ‘I said somethin’ that upset him, but he didn’t mean to hit me, it was just in the heat of the moment. He said he was sorry afterwards.’
‘Will yer stop making excuses for him and stop ruddy well blaming yerself every time he gives yer a go-along? You are married to one bad-tempered, evil bully, an’ it’s about time yer put a stop to it.’ Dot huffed. ‘He was sorry afterwards, ey? Yeah, I’ll bet he was. So sorry he went down to the pub to drown his sorrows. I’ll tell yer what, Mary, if he’d have done that to me he’d have been sorry all right. I’d have taken the bloody poker to him.’
‘I haven’t got the energy to fight back, Dot, I’m no match for him. You’re right, he is a bad-tempered bully and I rue the day I ever married him. I should have listened to me mam and dad, they could see through him from the first day they met him. But I was too stupid to listen to them, I thought I knew better. Now I’ve got to live with my mistake for the rest of me life and there’s times I wish I was dead.’ She burst into racking sobs.
‘In the name of God, Mary, that’s no way for a young woman of twenty-six to talk. If yer hate yer life so much, then do something to change it! I know ye’re no match for him, but yer’ve got brothers. Ask them to sort him out – at least put the frighteners on him.’
When Mary lifted her head, Dot’s heart went out to her. One eye was completely closed with the angry bruises and swelling, and the other was blurred with tears. She’d been such a pretty woman when she’d first come to live in the street, with a nice slim figure, her mousy-coloured hair always well groomed, velvety brown eyes and a ready smile. The woman facing Dot now bore no resemblance to that person. She was painfully thin, her hair was straggly, her clothes dowdy and she had the air of someone who had given up on life. When she spoke her voice was thick with emotion. ‘He’s taken everything away from me – me self-respect, me confidence and me peace of mind. But I still have some pride, and I’ll not ask my family for help. I married Tom against their wishes, I made me own bed and now I must lie on it.’
‘So yer carry on being a punch-bag for a man who isn’t fit to wipe yer shoes on? Yer’ve just said yer’ve still got some pride left, but yer can’t have, Mary, because if yer did yer wouldn’t stand for what he’s doing to yer. While ye’re prepared to take it, he’ll keep dishing it out, and what sort of a future is that?’
‘I’m expecting a baby.’ Mary’s voice was so low Dot had to strain to catch what she was saying. ‘I went to the doctor’s yesterday morning and he examined me. For the first time in years, I thought the future looked rosy. I was daft enough to think Tom would be pleased, that having a baby would change him.’ Her laugh was bitter. ‘How wrong I was. He flew into such a rage he frightened me. He was shouting at the top of his voice, poking me in the chest and his eyes were nearly popping out of his head. It was my fault I was pregnant, I was a stupid bitch and he didn’t want no brat in this house.’
Dot was beside herself with anger. ‘The more I hear of this man, the more convinced I am that he’s not right in the head. He gets you in the family way, blames you for being a stupid bitch, and calls his own unborn baby a brat! He wants putting in a strait-jacket and locking up in an asylum for the insane. D’yer know, there’s folk a lot more sane than he is, in the blinkin’ mad-house.’
‘I was so happy when I came out of the doctor’s yesterday, I even walked with a spring in me step. I’ve always wanted a baby, and I thought it would be the making of Tom, that he’d be proud at the thought of becoming a father. Like the stupid bitch he says I am, I even had visions of him putting his arms around me and kissing me.’ Mary fingered a piece of loose thread hanging from the sleeve of her cardi. ‘Me happiness was short-lived, he saw to that. Now I’m sorry I’m expectin’, ’cos how can I bring a baby into the world when I know what sort of a life it’ll have?’
‘I give up!’ Dot snorted. ‘I can’t find words bad enough to describe what I think of him. Yer tell him ye’re carrying a baby, his own flesh and blood, and he belts yer one! Honest to God, this is one time I wish I was a man. I’d give him the hiding of his life.’
‘I knew he was going to hit me, I can always tell, so I picked up the coal bucket and ran into the yard. I thought he might calm down a bit if I left him to think it over, but he followed me and this,’ she tenderly fingered her bruised face, ‘is what I got for me pains.’
‘I’m not goin’ to tell yer no lies, Mary, there’s no point. I knew what had happened because Maggie O’Connor heard it all. She’s not a gossip-monger, as yer well know, but she told me because she was worried about yer. She’d have been a damn sight more worried if she’d known he was belting yer because yer were pregnant.’
The sigh that came from Mary was one of despair. ‘I never thought I’d end up like this, never in a million years. When I was young I used to be full of life, out dancing every night and I had my pick of dozens of boys. If only I’d married one of them, how different things would have been. But no, I met Tom Campbell and he swept me off me feet with his sweet-talk and his promises of married bliss. Like a fool I fell for it, and for a few weeks it was bliss. Then, when it was too late, I found out the hard way what he was really like, and why. He told me his father used to beat h
is mother regularly. Apparently he taught Tom that the only way to keep a woman in her place was to rule her with a rod of iron and to belt her if she ever stepped out of line. And Tom didn’t take his mother’s side. He looked up to his father, you see – thought he was a real man.’ Mary’s next sigh came from her heart. ‘I think we’d been married about a month when he first hit me, and he’s done it regularly ever since.’
‘Well, it’s got to stop right now,’ Dot said, putting her foot down. ‘Yer haven’t only got yerself to think about, there’s an innocent baby growin’ inside yer that yer’ve got to protect. If the queer feller is allowed to keep on belting yer every time he feels like it, yer could end up having a miscarriage and I’m sure yer don’t want that.’
‘Oh no, I want this baby!’ Mary looked horrified. ‘It would be someone of me own that I could love and cherish. But you don’t know how evil my husband can be. He said he didn’t want a brat in this house and believe me, Dot, he’s cruel enough to beat me to a pulp if it would get rid of the baby. And nothing I could say or do would stop him.’
‘Pack up and go back to yer mam, Mary, that’s my advice to yer. Pocket yer pride and go back home, where yer’ll be cared for by people who love yer. And the baby would be safe from harm.’
‘It wouldn’t be as easy as yer make it sound, Dot. Oh, me family would welcome me with open arms and they’d look after me and the baby. But Tom knows where they live and he’d be around there like a shot, banging on the door and shouting his head off. He’d bring shame to me mam’s house, and I’ll not put her through that.’ Mary gazed into the flames as they danced around the glowing coals, spurting and cracking. ‘No, I’ll have to stay here and make the best of it.’
‘I think yer want yer bumps feeling, Mary, and that’s being honest. But if that’s the way yer want it, there’s nowt I can do about it. But I want yer to promise me that if he ever goes to hit yer again, yer’ll give a knock on our wall and I’ll come in. I can’t see him touching yer in front of a neighbour who might tell everyone in the street what sort of a man he is. He wouldn’t want his cronies in the pub to know he beats his wife, and her in the family way. He’d have to slink down the street, not swagger the way he does now, and he’d have to find another watering hole.’
‘I won’t burden you with me troubles, Dot, but I’m glad yer came tonight because I feel better just for talking to yer. I won’t let him hurt me baby, I’ll promise yer that.’
‘Well, if things get out of hand, yer know what to do. If I’m not in, shout for Maggie – she’ll come running. Don’t for God’s sake try and cope on yer own if yer see he’s in one of his moods or yer’ll end up being sorry.’ Dot stretched her arms over her head and yawned. ‘I’m all in, it’ll be an early night for me. It must be old age creepin’ up on me, Mary. I can’t stand the pace like I used to.’
‘I should think yer would be tired, working every day and the house and kids to see to. Yer’ve got enough problems of yer own without worrying about me.’
‘What are neighbours for, sunshine, if it’s not to help one another? And we’re not only neighbours, we’re mates, aren’t we? And yer’ve got a good mate living on the other side of yer, too. Maggie would be a good friend to yer if yer’d let her. Don’t be so bloody stubborn, Mary, yer might be glad of Maggie’s help before ye’re much older. Neither of yer go out much during the day, so why don’t yer invite her in for a cup of tea? It would do yer the world of good to mix with people, buck yer up no end.’
‘Look at the state of this place, Dot, it’s not fit to invite anyone into. Tommy hasn’t any pride in his home, he won’t even give me the money so I could paper it.’
‘Don’t be makin’ excuses, Mary, my house is a damn sight worse than this. I can’t even remember what the pattern on the wallpaper was, it’s faded so much.’ Dot stood up and smiled down into the disfigured face. ‘Still, I’ve got me daughter starting work soon and after I’ve bought some decent clothes for all of us, I’m going to have a bash at decorating the living room. I’ve never done it before, but there’s a first time for everything.’
Mary stood up and followed Dot down the hall. ‘Thanks for coming. It’s a change to have someone to talk to and get things off me chest.’
Dot stepped into the street and pulled her coat around her. ‘I think it’s cold enough for snow but I hope I’m wrong. The soles on the only pair of shoes I’ve got are paper thin – they wouldn’t stand up to trudging through snow.’ She shivered and put her hands up the sleeves of her coat. ‘Yer know where I am if yer want me, now don’t forget.’
Miss Clements raised her head from the books she was marking and rapped the end of her pencil on the desk. ‘Letty Kennedy and Nita Williams, will you stop talking and get on with your work! If you were as good at stretching your minds as you are at stretching your mouths, perhaps your arithmetic book would be full of ticks instead of crosses. Now get on with it, and if I have to tell you again you’ll be kept back in detention.’
Both girls answered, ‘Yes, Miss,’ and before bending their heads over their books they rolled their eyes at each other and pulled faces. Next week couldn’t come quick enough for them. The teacher’s eyes lighted on Katy Baker. The girl was deep in concentration as she applied herself to the additions, subtractions and multiplications set out in her book. She was a good pupil, was Katy, diligent, clever, polite and forever pleasant. She’d miss her when she left. ‘Katy, would you come to my desk for a moment, please?’
Katy laid her pen down by the inkwell, and full of apprehension made her way to the front of the class. ‘Yes, Miss Clements?’
‘I believe you have a job to go to, Katy.’
‘Yes, Miss, in the sweetshop in Hawthorne Road. I’m very lucky and really looking forward to it.’
‘I’m very pleased for you and I know you’ll do well. You’ve been an excellent pupil, Katy, one of the best I’ve ever had. I bet your mother’s proud of you, isn’t she?’
‘Oh yes, Miss, she’s over the moon. With my wages coming in she won’t have to scrimp and scrape every week.’
‘When do you start?’
‘I could start right away, ’cos the shop’s very busy with Christmas so near. But with us not breaking up until next Friday, I won’t be able to start proper until after the holiday. I’m going every night after school to give Mr and Mrs Edwards a hand, though, and I’m glad about that because it means I’ll be able to give me mam a few bob to help her out.’
Miss Clements studied her face for a few seconds before saying, ‘You can go back to your desk now, dear.’
It was as the girls were filing back into the classroom after the playtime period was over, that Miss Clements again called Katy to her desk. ‘Miss Boswell would like to see you in her office, Katy. Would you go along now, please?’
Her tummy beginning to knot with fear, Katy asked, ‘I haven’t done anything wrong, have I, Miss?’
‘Not at all, dear. There’s no need to be afraid. Miss Boswell will explain to you.’
Katy wasn’t comforted by the teacher’s words as she walked down the now-deserted corridor. The headmistress was a very strict woman whose very glance could send shivers down your spine. Being called to her office wasn’t something you looked forward to because it usually meant you were in trouble. But although Katy racked her brains, she couldn’t think of anything she’d done that would give rise to this. So it was with mixed feelings that she knocked on the office door.
‘Come.’
The tone in which that one word was spoken was enough to set the girl’s nerves on edge as she pushed open the door. ‘You wanted to see me, Miss Boswell?’
‘Ah, Katy Baker. Come in, child.’ Miss Boswell looked like a typical headmistress. Her iron-grey hair was combed straight back and plaited in a bun to rest on the nape of her neck. Her clothes were tailored and mannish, and her face, even in repose, looked stern. She peered over the top of her pincenez glasses to where Katy was hovering just inside the door. ‘Come in,
my dear, and sit down.’
Katy perched on the edge of the chair facing the headmistress across the desk. She was clasping and unclasping her hands, convinced by now that she was in for a ticking-off. To think she’d gone right through her school life without ever being sent to this office for being naughty, and now here she was, with just one week to go.
Miss Boswell straightened the pile of papers in front of her before pushing them to one side. ‘Miss Clements was telling me you had a job to go to, Katy.’
‘Yes, Miss Boswell. It’s in a sweetshop near where I live.’
‘Miss Clements also told me that your future employers would like you to start as soon as possible with their busiest period of the year ahead, is that true?’
Katy’s sigh of relief was audible. So she wasn’t here for a ticking-off, thank goodness. ‘Yes, Miss, but they understand I can’t start until I leave school.’
Miss Boswell’s features relaxed and a faint smile crossed her face. Miss Clements had told her of the girl’s home circumstances, but she wasn’t going to embarrass the child by repeating what she’d heard. ‘From the day you started school, Katy, you’ve been an exemplary pupil. If all the girls were as hard-working as you, how much easier the life of a teacher would be. Because you have worked so hard, and because there is little you will gain by staying on the extra week, I have decided that, if you wish, you can finish here tomorrow. I will have your reference ready for you before you leave.’
Katy was stunned. ‘Oh, Miss!’
‘Would that suit you, Katy?’
The girl screwed up her eyes to stop the tears, but one managed to escape to roll down her cheek. ‘Oh yes, Miss. And thank you, Miss.’
Catherine Boswell wasn’t as hard-hearted as she made out, but she’d found out long ago that if the children thought you were weak, you lost the battle to control them. But there were times, such as now, when her heart melted. ‘I wish you luck in your job, Katy, and your new employers are very fortunate to find someone of your calibre. Now you may go back to your class while I get on writing out these references.’