“This isn’t the first time we hung out in town, Dean. We used to hang out here all the time.”
“I don’t remember that,” he said.
“Sure, you do. Remember, we used to hang out at the amusement arcade around the corner?”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. I remember,” he said excitedly. “Come one, let’s go. I’ll play you at the video racing game.” He hurried around the corner. She followed. He stopped, looking around. “Where is it? It used to be around here, right?” he said, still looking around.
“Yes, it used to be there,” Carmen said, pointing to an empty building on the corner across the street.
“It’s gone. What happened to it?”
“At-home video systems kind of eclipsed the corner amusement arcades. Everybody plays at home now with gamers all over the world. It’s called progress.”
He didn’t respond. He knew he was part of that progress. His computer software helped get gaming systems into private homes.
They kept walking, coming to the end of the block. They turned the corner, then headed back down Main Street. “And so . . .” she said, then stopped. “Here we have the local newspaper. It’s new. It’s called the Hayden Chronicle. They print three times a week usually with local news.” Carmen looked around. “And I guess that ends the tour.”
Dean saw that they were back in front of Jessie’s gallery. “This was nice.”
“It was nice, talking and reminiscing.”
“Thank you for the tour. I gotta tell you, this was definitely a welcome relief.”
“What do you mean?”
He smiled. “Walking the streets and listening to Thomas drone on about the new and improved Hayden didn’t exactly make my top ten list of things to do.”
She laughed. “You’re very welcome.”
He smiled lovingly. “I love to hear your laughter.”
They stared at each other a few seconds until someone blew a car horn and waved. They both waved back. “Well, I have some holiday shopping to do. So I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Actually, that’s perfect. I have a few things I’d like to pick up as well. Mind if I tag along?”
“You’re going to anyway, aren’t you?”
He smiled. “Of course I am. But how about we grab something to eat first?”
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll drive. I know a great place to eat. Come on, let’s go.”
The great place, just outside of Savannah, was right on the water and absolutely perfect. The food was delicious, the atmosphere was charming, and the people were warm and welcoming. After dessert, they sat out on the terrace and enjoyed the sunset as the day ended. “How in the world did you find this place? I had no idea it was even here. It’s wonderful.”
“A friend of mine lives in Savannah and he came here a lot. When he found out the owner was having financial trouble, he suggested we buy it. The alternative was a developer who wanted to tear it down and build a franchise restaurant.”
“So the two of you bought it and you now own a restaurant?”
“We’re more like silent partners.”
Surprised by his admission, she looked around admiringly. “I’m glad you bought it. It’s beautiful just as it is.”
“I agree.”
On the drive back, they laughed and talked, listened to music and reminisced. When they got back to town, they went shopping. Forty-five minutes later, with several bags in tow, they walked past the jewelry store. He stopped and looked in the window. She went back and stood beside him as he eyed an array of bracelets then necklaces and finally rings.
The last thing Carmen wanted to do was walk into a jewelry store with Dean. As small-town gossip goes, everyone would know they were in there together even before they stopped at the first counter. She could just hear the rumors flying. She walked away. He very reluctantly followed. “Well, that’s it for my shopping list. I’m done.”
“Not me. I have one more present to buy and I’m kind of stumped. What do you want for Christmas, Carmen?”
She knew what she wanted. She wanted him. But wanting and having were two different things. “I have everything I need,” she said.
“Need and want are two different things. Come on, if you could have anything, what would it be?”
“I know what I want. And I know I can’t have it.”
“Tell me. I promise I can make it happen.”
She smiled. “Thank you for dinner. I had a wonderful time.”
“Me too. And thanks for the tour. It was enlightening.”
“You know Thomas has been trying to get a large company to move here for years. You’re on his list. As a matter of fact, you’re probably number one on his list now.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, of course. He wants you to bring your company here to help restore the town.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “If you bring your company here, then other companies are bound to follow. The Christmas parade is the day after tomorrow. Everybody knows you’re leaving afterwards. So, he’s gonna really turn up the pressure.”
“Probably.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Nothing,” he said.
“Nothing?”
“Nothing,” he repeated.
“You’re just going to let him grovel and beg?” she said. He smiled and chuckled. “That’s cruel, Dean, even for you. Look, I know the man was a jerk to you back in the day and he probably deserves everything that’s coming to him. And I’m sure he feels like a fool for everything, especially that stupid petition. But right now he’s just trying to help the town and the people here. I know, just like before, you’re just passing through, but he doesn’t.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not enjoying this. I am. Watching Thomas grovel is entertaining. The man was a bully to me. He had me handcuffed and arrested twice for no reason, and of course there was the petition to get me kicked out of school and void my scholarships. I can’t wait to see his face when he hears the announcement. All of his groveling would have been for nothing.”
Carmen froze. The last fragment of hope that he’d stay was gone with just a few words. She could feel her heart sink into the lowest pit of despair. It was already done. “The announcement?” she questioned. “So what was all this, the perfect payback?”
He looked at her. “I didn’t say that.”
“Dean, I know you better than you think you know me.”
He scoffed in disbelief. “I doubt that,” he said. “I know you.”
“Okay, did you know this? Last night in the attic, when we were kissing and you thought I wanted to stop . . .” she began. He nodded attentively. She leaned in closer to his ear. “Well, I was going to suggest we go back to my bedroom and make love.”
His jaw dropped in shock. “But why didn’t you . . . ?” he began, then stopped, seeing her expression.
She smiled. It felt good catching him off guard for once. Even if it was the truth and he thought she was joking. “It’s getting late and I need to get back.”
“You’re not staying for the ice sculpting tonight?”
“Mom will be here. I have setup duty. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, a big day.”
“I can help you,” he suggested.
She chuckled. “No, you have to be here. It’s all part of grand marshal duty. And if you’re not here, Thomas will probably send out the Marines and Special Forces to come get you.”
“No doubt.”
He placed her shopping bags into the trunk of her car as she got in. “Thanks again for this evening.”
“You sure I can’t persuade you to stay here tonight?”
“Sorry. You can tell me about it later.”
“I will, promise.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Actually, I’ll be away most of the day tomorrow. I need to fly out and take care of some business. I’ll be back tomorrow evening for the Night of Lights.”
“Okay. Have a
safe trip. See you when you get back.”
She drove off and headed back to the bed-and-breakfast. It was getting harder and harder to say good-bye to Dean. But in two days she knew she’d have to say it again—this time probably forever.
The thought gripped her heart. Tears began to rim her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Just seeing Dean again was the best Christmas gift she could ever imagine. There was no need to wish for more. If she could, one more night with him would be it, but that hadn’t happened and now it never would.
She knew she needed to resolve in her heart that he was, as always, just passing through and she would always remain true to her family responsibilities. She loved him and her heart was breaking all over again. A lone tear finally fell because she knew there was nothing she could do about it. She had to let him go again.
Chapter 10
Christmas Eve breakfast was packed as usual. Carmen, Marion, and their two employees worked as a perfectly organized team, each performing her allocated duties with ordered haste and meticulous focus. Afterwards, amid the continuous mid-morning flow of guests checking out and checking in, Carmen maintained her usual cheerful demeanor as she looked for Dean each time the front door opened.
As a seasoned innkeeper, she happily gave each departing guest a Stiles Bed and Breakfast commemorative ornament and welcomed the new guests to her home with holiday cookies and beverages of their choice. As they arrived, she placed the previously wrapped gifts she’d purchased for them beneath the tree. As was customary, all guests would have a special gift to open on Christmas Day.
By late afternoon, all the bed-and-breakfast rooms were completely full again. The joy of the holiday season was that there were always new faces to welcome. But there was still one face Carmen had missed seeing all day. Dean hadn’t returned, at least she hadn’t seen him. She knew he had to be in Hayden to kick off the Night of Lights celebration tonight, but she had hoped he might come back early and stop to see her.
As the hours passed slowly, the day crawled slower and slower. Christmas Eve usually dragged, at least for children. Likewise, she impatiently waited for her special arrival. But still he didn’t come. By early evening, the kitchen was prepped and everything was ready for the big Christmas Day breakfast the next morning. Since it was a special day, their breakfast reflected it with a huge menu. Most of the items had been previously started and some had even been brought in special.
As the sun set, so did Carmen’s joyful mood. Everyone had gone into town for the Night of Lights celebration, but Carmen stayed. Both Marion and Jessie had asked her to go, but she’d chosen to stay. Someone had to remain behind to prepare the Christmas Eve cookies and drink selection for the guests when the event was over. Plus, she knew that even if Dean was there, they couldn’t be together because of everything else going on. Hopefully she’d see him when he returned.
“I got back as soon as I could,” Marion said, rushing in. “You missed one of the best shows ever. Dean was the perfect host. He was funny and charming, and everybody loved him.”
Her heart instantly stilled. “I’m sure they did.”
Marion looked around the dining room at the various cookies, fruits, snacks and drinks available for their guests. “Oh, Carmen, everything looks wonderful.”
“Thanks.”
Just then, the guests began arriving back from town. Everyone talked incessantly about the Night of Lights’ street-side luminaries and released sky lanterns. Carmen stayed and listened, happily delighted by their excitement. Of course she’d seen the event many times before, but hearing their exuberant enthusiasm made it feel new again.
She waited downstairs in hopes that Dean would return soon, but he didn’t. After a while, she gave up and headed to her room. She knew she wouldn’t be getting any sleep any time soon. She walked over to the French doors, opened them, and stepped out onto her balcony. Usually a crisp December breeze greeted her, but tonight the weather was unseasonably warm. She stared out across to Hayden in the far distance as she sat down.
For the first time in a long time, she didn’t find peaceful serenity in the town’s lights. She looked up at the stars. With her balcony facing south, she knew her bedroom faced away from Ursa Minor and the long-gone Ursid shower. Still, she searched the heavens. But her answers weren’t out there and she knew it.
She thought about all the nights she had wished for Dean to come back to her and now he was here. He had gotten into her head and into her heart. She knew after the first kiss that she was still in love with him. Jessie was right, she thought as the image of her ripping his clothes off popped into her head. When he left this time, she wanted a memory to last her a lifetime.
Then, without a second thought, she stood up and walked to the grand suite. She hesitated a brief second. Excited, nervous, and thrilled, she felt her heart pound as if she were a teenager waiting for the popular guy in school to notice her. “This is ridiculous,” she muttered to herself. “I’m a grown woman—I can do this. I can ask him to make love to me.” She knocked on the door before her rational self came to its senses.
The brief wait seemed to take forever. After a few seconds, it was obvious he wasn’t there. She hurried back to her room. What was she thinking? A few minutes later, she heard a soft quiet knock on her bedroom door. It was just loud enough to get her attention. She knew who it was even before she stood up. It was their special signal. She knocked her reply, then opened the door and saw Dean, casually dressed, standing there. His sexy smile was irresistible.
He reached out his hand. She took it and in silence he pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “Get dressed and meet me.” Then he turned and walked away.
She gasped, ready to speak, but he was already gone. He didn’t have to tell her where to meet him. Seeing him barefoot, she already knew. She quickly dressed in shorts and a top and hurried up to the attic. As soon as she walked in, she saw the far window open. No one ever opened that window except for him or her. It was the one place on the roof of the attic where the slant was level enough to sit out without fear of falling off. It was also the place they’d met years ago.
“Dean.” She walked over and looked out. He was already out there sitting on the roof. “Hey,” she said.
“Come on out. Careful,” he said.
“You know our insurance rates are going to go through the roof if you slip and fall off.”
“We’ve been out here a hundred times.”
“We were kids,” she said. Then she saw the blanket and small basket beside him. “So what is all this?” she asked.
“A celebration,” he said, reaching his hand to help her out onto the roof.
Barefoot as well, she stepped out and sat next to him on the blanket he’d laid out. As soon as she was settled, he opened the picnic basket and took out two glasses and a bottle of champagne. He filled the glasses and gave one to her. “I guess everything went well today,” she said.
He smiled. “I’ll tell you all about that later.” He raised his glass. “Right now we’re celebrating. To you,” he said.
She nodded and touched her glass to his. They sipped the champagne; then she nervously looked up at the sky. Millions of stars shined down on them. “Orion, Taurus, Gemini. Wow, I forgot how beautiful this view can be this time of year.”
“I didn’t,” he said, looking directly at her instead of at the sky.
Seeing him staring at her made her blush. “You’re supposed to be looking at the view, not at me.”
“I’m looking at the only view that will ever matter.”
She handed him her glass. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it now. “Dean, I have a question to ask you.”
“Yes,” he answered.
“You don’t even know what the question is yet.”
“It doesn’t matter. The answer will always be, yes.”
“This is my home and I can’t leave. I don’t want to leave. I have a responsibility and I know you do too. You’re leaving tomorrow, s
o I was wondering, since this is our last night together, if we could . . .”
“I would have stayed for you,” he said, interrupting her.
“What?”
“Before.”
She nodded, realizing he was talking about years ago when they were younger. “I know, but you would have hated yourself and then one day you would have looked at me and hated me. This place that I love so much would have suffocated you. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“So you told me you didn’t love me, so I’d be mad enough to leave you.”
“You needed to go.”
He shook his head. “No, I needed to be with you.”
She shook her head. “None of that matters anymore.”
“You know, for a long time I actually believed you. I was so mad at you, at myself, at everything. All that time we were together—I thought you had betrayed me just like my parents did.”
“I’m sorry. I needed you to believe me and go.”
“Carmen.”
“I know we can’t go back to the past. I understand that. I have a job that’s important to me here. People depend on me. My family depends on me. Mom doesn’t own this place, Dean. I do. My father left it to me to keep it in the bloodline. That’s how it’s done. I always knew that. That’s how it’s always been done in the Stiles family. So this isn’t about wanting you to stay. I know you can’t and . . .”
“Carmen,” he interrupted.
“No, wait. I need to say this. You have your company. And it’s major and I know that. It’s just as important to you. I can’t compete with that, and I’d never even try or even ask you to choose. You’re leaving, and I just want us to be together for one night. To last a lifetime, that’s all I need,” she finally blurted out.
“Carmen,” he said, cupping her face, “I’m staying.”
She looked at him puzzled. “What?”
“I love you. I always have and I always will. I’m staying here in Hayden. I have to. This is where my life is, with you.”
“Dean, I . . .” The kiss came instantly. He wrapped his arm firmly around her waist to keep her from falling, then pulled her close. The kiss was hard and long, taking her breath away. It was intense and fierce and more powerful than she could ever imagine. She parted her lips and his tongue slipped into her mouth and hers into his. She savored the sensuous feel of their connection. Her mind soared to dizzying heights. Then suddenly she broke the kiss and looked at him. “You’re staying, right?”
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