Bob nervously glanced from her to the road and back. “Why’s that?”
“You make me hot,” she teased.
“Really?” He swallowed hard. “You were mad just a second ago.”
“I know,” she purred in his ear. “Funny how you can get my motor revving so quick when I’m pissed at you…”
Bob began scanning for a place to pull the motorcoach over and Lucky smiled at him. “Oops, moment’s passed,” she whispered. “Too late.”
She stood up and swayed her hips back and forth as she glided to the rear of the motorcoach to get something out of the back. He watched her in the rearview mirror, his groin aching with the thought of what might have been.
“That wasn’t nice.” His eyes darted back and forth from the road and back to her. He stared wide-eyed as she stood straight-legged and bent down to get something from the bottom of the refrigerator. He nearly swerved the giant RV off the road watching her tease him.
She stood up quickly and glared at him. “Easy there, Tiger. Don’t kill us before we get there.”
“Sorry.” He turned his eyes back to the road.
Lucky returned to the front seat with an icy bottle of water and rolled it across her face. “I’m just so…so…hot!” she said breathlessly.
“You’re evil.”
“You were supposed to say, ‘Yes, dear, you ARE so hot’.”
“Yes, dear, you are so hot,” he replied in monotone.
“You are not earning any brownie points here, Bob.” She cracked the seal on the bottle.
He smiled as he weaved the RV through the mountain pass. They drove past the common camping grounds and the huge swell of vacationers, banners announcing some benefit rock concert to ruin the sublime silence of the park over the weekend.
“Well, by the time we get back, you might rethink your opinion.”
“I doubt it.”
“You will.”
“What makes you so sure?” she asked, turning to face him again. “Have a surprise waiting for us up here?”
“Not here.” He tried to sound mysterious while dodging more cars trying to park closer to the concert area.
“What do you mean not…what did you do?” she insisted.
“Nothing.”
“You did something.” She pointed the water bottle at him. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.” He stifled a smile.
“Robert Eugene Jennings, you tell me right this moment what you’ve done, or so help me…”
“What?” Bob shrugged. “You’ll not enjoy the vacation?” He grinned at her.
She turned and gave him an evil glare. “Or you will not be enjoying any of this,” she indicated her physical self with her hands, “while we are out here in your idea of backwoods utopia. Do you understand me?”
Bob swallowed hard and nodded sheepishly. “I understand.”
“Spill it, mister.”
“I, um…may have hired the carpenters to go ahead and remodel your kitchen for you as a surprise for when we get back.”
Lucky sat open-mouthed for a moment, then shook her head. “You goofball.”
“What?”
“I thought you did something stupid.” She leaned across and kissed him. “That was very sweet of you.”
“I had hoped so.” He feigned indignation, “Thank you very much for ruining the surprise.”
“Don’t scare me next time.”
“Don’t scare ME next time.” He shot her a frightened look. “Don’t ever threaten to cut me off. That ain’t right.”
“Well, for the record, I would have liked to have been there while they did the remodel.” She tapped her chin in thought. “Just to make sure they did it right.”
“Honey, what do you know about construction?” He fought the wheel as he chugged the huge RV up and over a huge rocky hill.
“I watch HGTV.” She fought back a laugh.
“Yeah, like that’s the same.” He pulled the RV up past the signs that read HOT SPRINGS AHEAD and found a clearing. “Hey, I don’t know if we can legally camp here or not, but I like the looks of that site right there.”
“What do you mean ‘legally’?”
“Well, there isn’t anything that says we can’t stay the night, right?”
“I do NOT want to go to backwoods mountain jail, Bob,” she argued.
“I won’t let them take us alive, darling.” He kissed her nose as he got up from behind the wheel.
“I’m serious, Bob. I think they eat people that look like us.”
He shrugged. “I’d eat you.”
“I’m serious,” she whined. “I saw a movie once. Hillbillies that were all inbred and…ugly and…smelly. And they used to catch people and eat them and rape their corpses and—”
“And it was a movie, sweetheart.”
“Well, so.”
“The most dangerous thing up here is probably bears,” he said absently. “As long as we don’t leave trash out.”
“Bears? Did you say, bears?” she cried. “You didn’t say anything about bears before we started this trip, Bob!”
“Honey, they’re not that common. The odds of actually seeing a bear are about a thousand to one.”
“Dad!” Buck called from the rear of the RV. “Come look at these bears!”
“Hey, Honey, there’s bears!” Bob said excitedly as he pushed past her and rushed to the rear of the RV.
“Bob—?”
Ranger Daniel Hatcher slowly worked his way through the thickening crowds of campers, day visitors, and tourists. His eyes scanned the crowds for troublemakers that he knew would accompany the concert planned for the night. He shook his head as he watched a small group of teens that looked more at home in the concrete jungles of the inner-city than anywhere close to the outdoors break away from a larger group and make their way behind the Visitor’s Center. The way the older youths kept scanning their surroundings, he feared that they were about to exchange drugs or some other type of contraband.
Quickly judging the distance between himself and the teens, he snatched his radio from his belt and keyed it. “Unit Three, this is Unit One, come in.”
The radio belched static for a moment before a female voice came back, “Go for three.”
“I have a group of teens sneaking behind the Visitor’s Center. I have a feeling they’re about to pass off contraband. Can you intercept?”
“Affirmative, boss. I’m on it,” the muffled voice replied.
Daniel sighed with relief. He knew that if anybody could put the fear of god into those kids, it would be Shelly Montgomery. Although she wasn’t large, ugly, or intimidating, she could be a bad ass, and could more than handle herself if the chips were down.
His radio crackled and a second voice came across the speaker. “Three, I’m not far from you. I can provide backup.”
“The more the merrier, Two,” she responded.
Hatcher didn’t care too much for Unit Two, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly why. The red-haired man always seemed to rub him the wrong way. It wasn’t any one thing, but Daniel simply didn’t like him. He didn’t know if it was his feeble attempts at humor, or his obvious crush on Shelly, but he couldn’t bring himself to like him. Dwayne Fisher had transferred to the park the previous year and tried too hard to be everybody’s best friend. He confided too much of his personal life, liked to slap people on the back, and laughed too hard. He was loud, he was often obnoxious, and he had a bad habit of engaging his mouth before using his brain as a buffer. Daniel cringed at the thought of Dwayne trying to play bad cop with a group of rockaholic kids pushing drugs at the park and decided it might be best if he made his presence available should there be a confrontation.
He pushed his way through the crowd and cut through the Visitors Center. Pulling his keys from his belt, he thumbed through the ring and pulled the master key from the loop. He hit the rear door and was through it so fast that onlookers would never have realized it was even locked.
/> He broke back out to the outdoors to find Shelly confronting the older youth, with Dwayne holding two others pinned against a building, a snarl across his face. “What’s the problem here?” Daniel barked.
“This bitch is busting my balls!” the kid yelled.
Shelly turned and gave Daniel a stern look. “This young man shoved something into his underpants the moment I came into view. I asked him what it was and he became belligerent.”
“My nuts itched,” the kid barked, sticking his chest out toward Shelly.
Daniel turned toward Dwayne, who still held the two other youths against the wall. “And these two?”
“Were about to jump her from behind,” he said quietly, but through clenched teeth as the two squirmed under his thick arms.
“Okay, Fisher, let them down, but watch them,” Hatcher ordered.
“But, Hatch—” Fisher began to argue.
“Just let them stand on their own two feet.” Hatcher fought the urge to smile. “And maybe let what’s left of their brains get a little oxygen.”
Dwayne dropped the two into the dirt, and then scooped them up by the back of their shirts. Daniel turned and faced the older youth. “As for you—”
“You can’t do shit to me, man. I’m a minor. I know my rights,” he spat as he bounced from foot to foot.
“You may know your rights, but you obviously don’t know the laws,” Hatcher began. “And attempting to make a drug deal on federal land is a BIG no-no.”
“Yeah? Well, fuck you.” The kid started to turn and run. Before he could get more than a few steps, Shelly tackled him and took him to the ground, kicking and screaming.
Daniel came up behind the two just as Shelly slapped a set of handcuffs on one wrist and forcefully twisted the kid’s other arm around causing him to squeal like a pig before she slapped the cuff on the other wrist. She threw her arms up in the air and yelled, “Time!”
“I think that’s a new record.” Daniel reached down and grabbed the handcuffs and pulled the kid to his feet.
Shelly stood up and wiped the dirt from her uniform. “If that had been a calf, I think I coulda branded him for the record, too.” She winked.
“You can take the girl out of Texas—” Daniel began.
“But you can’t take Texas out of the girl,” Shelly finished.
Hatcher walked the kid back over behind the Visitor’s Center and sat him on the ground. “Well, young man, we have a slight problem here.”
“I want my lawyer.”
“Tough,” Daniel answered. “You aren’t under arrest. Yet.” He looked at the other two youths and smiled. “Only people under arrest get a lawyer. Right now you are being detained. And since you are simply being detained, I can search you to make sure you don’t have any weapons or anything else on you that might be harmful to me or you or anybody else in close proximity.”
The kid stared up at him with wide eyes. “No you can’t!” he stammered. “I don’t give you permission.”
“You don’t have to.” Daniel patted his head like a puppy. “Like I said, you may know your rights, but you don’t know the law. All I need is a witness to ensure I don’t infringe on your rights.” He turned to the large red-haired man holding the other two youths. “Isn’t that right, Ranger Fisher?”
“That is correct, sir.”
“So,” Daniel squatted down and flicked the young man’s nose, “what do you think we’re going to find when we take you into my office and strip search your dumb ass?”
The kid groaned and dropped his head.
Daniel stood up and looked to the other kids. “Let’s make this a little bit easier, shall we?” His voice rose a little too loudly. “Since no actual drug deal took place, I think we can safely assume that you two idiots don’t have anything on your persons, am I correct?”
Both kids quickly shook their heads. “No, sir, we don’t!” one yelled.
“I ain’t got nothing. We never got to make the deal,” the other shouted.
“So, if you tell me that you were going to buy drugs from this young man…”
Both kids looked at him expectantly.
“…but you weren’t able to…” Daniel looked to Shelly who simply shrugged. “Jiminy Christmas. Are you guys really this stupid?” The two kids still just stared. “If you cooperate, we can let you go. Okay?” They both began nodding and agreeing. “Why did you sneak back here with this guy?”
“We came back here to buy dope,” one kid said.
“He said he had weed and meth,” the other added.
“Thank you.” Daniel looked to Dwayne and nodded.
Ranger Fisher picked up both boys and began drag-walking them back around to the front of the Visitor’s Center. He would take their statements and turn them over to the sheriff’s department who would process them and turn them loose. Hatcher turned to the kid on the ground. “Man, sucks to be you.” He reached down and lifted the kid up by his jacket.
“What are you going to do with me?” the kid whined.
“After we thoroughly search you and charge you with possession with intent, we’ll turn you over to the sheriff’s department. They, in turn, will fit you with a really nice orange jumpsuit and give you a new place to stay. The DA will make the final arrangements for you.”
“This ain’t right, man. You make it sound like I’m the only one here doing this,” the kid argued.
“One slimeball at a time.” Daniel dragged the kid to his office. “One slimeball at a time.”
Bill Martin pulled his Jeep into the campsite and set the emergency brake. Turning off the engine, he listened to the noise from all of the people down the mountain and shook his head. “What the hell ever happened to the silence of the great outdoors?”
He opened the rear of the new Wrangler and began unloading his camping gear. Intending to spend two weeks here at Yellowstone, he had hoped for nothing more than a bit of quiet, maybe get in some fishing, stay up late by the campfire, sleep in to the sounds of nature, but, instead, it sounded like tailgate parties at a flippin’ football game. He knew what those sounded like. He had to work enough of them when he was a state trooper. Now that he was retired, he just wanted to relax a little.
He sighed heavily and stood at the open end of his Jeep, debating on simply getting back in and leaving. He saw another angler walking down toward the lake and he nodded a hello. The man nodded back, then paused. He looked at Bill, then back over the hill behind them. “I think we picked the wrong weekend to come here.”
“You think?” Bill replied, trying hard not to sound too snarky.
The man tilted his head back toward the roar of people. “It’s that damned concert, drawing people from everywhere. Thank God it’s only for one night. Maybe they’ll all leave afterward.”
Bill gave him a questioning stare. “What concert?”
The man’s face registered his obvious shock. “You mean to tell me you didn’t see the banners and the signs everywhere?”
Bill flustered slightly. “Honestly, I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t think any of that was actually for here…” he trailed off.
The man walked the short distance back toward Bill and smiled. “Oh, yeah. Some benefit concert to help raise money to replant trees and whatnot after the big fires a few years ago.” Bill shook his head. He truly had no idea what he was talking about. “Really? You didn’t know about…well, let me tell ya,” the man began. “A few years back, the Forestry Service wanted to bring in a crew and clean up all the dead fall and dry stuff that was a fire hazard.”
“Okay, that makes sense,” Bill said, nodding.
“Well, making sense doesn’t work these days, ya know. Apparently some tree-hugger group didn’t like that, so they filed a lawsuit or injunction or…whatever. They put a stop to it. They claimed that the Forestry Service was going to let loggers come in and destroy the place.”
Bill’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “What? They couldn’t do that if they wanted to. This is federal l
and.”
“Yeah, I know. They even showed copies of the contracts and their paperwork and…well, the greenie group didn’t buy it. And apparently neither did whatever judge they were facing. They said something about ‘damaging the ecosystem of the local wildlife’ if they cut out all of that stuff. And sure enough, a year later, there’s this huge fire. Burns nearly half of Yellowstone plumb to the ground. Millions of acres, hundreds of millions spent fighting it. People lost their lives fighting that damned fire.”
Bill shook his head. “I bet the local wildlife appreciated them saving their ecosystem then, didn’t they?” he asked sarcastically.
“Don’t get me started. I own property that butts up to this place. I fish here all the time. It makes me sick the way these special interest groups can sue to get whatever the hell they want. It don’t matter what’s in the best interest of this place.”
“And now they’re having a rock and roll concert…for what?”
“Beats the hell out of me.” The man shook his head. “Raise awareness? Raise money to buy seedlings? Whatever. Honestly, I think it’s just an excuse to party.”
“The Forestry Service already replanted those areas, didn’t they?” Bill asked.
The man smiled and nodded. “Just a few months after the fire. They went in by the hundreds and planted trees of all sizes. From seedlings to saplings.” He shook his head. “Now that things have had a chance to heal, this place is starting to rebound.”
“That’s good.” Bill glanced back toward the hill. “I don’t guess anybody learned anything from that little lesson, did they?”
The man gave him a stupid look. “No, they still won’t let them go in and clean out the tinder and dead fall from the rest of the park.” He shook his head again. “All that fuel is just sitting there waiting for the next fire.”
“Oh, my God,” Bill groaned.
“Tell me about it.” The man glanced down to the lake. “Well, listen, it was nice chatting with ya. But I have some fish to catch.” He shot Bill a little wink and turned back to the lake.
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