by Smith,T. M.
“Let’s get you set up here.” Dr. Prescott handed Micah the visor and he pulled it on, blocking his eyes from Gabe. He reached over and flipped both the monitors on, grabbing a pair of headphones and handing them to Micah. Dr. Prescott slipped a small wireless headset with a mic over his head while Micah put on the larger, bulkier set.
“One monitor is like the head gamer’s control. Harold will use that monitor to feed the simulation to Micah’s monitor. It plays out like virtual reality, while recreating the event that caused the PTSD as accurately as possible based on what Micah has told me and Harold about the bombing.” Tristan spoke softly, trying to tell Gabe what was happening, hoping he could keep his youngest lover calm enough that they didn’t upset Micah any more than what was already in store for him would.
“Alright Micah, I have the simulation. Tell me what type of gun you had that day,” Prescott asked.
“M16, locked and loaded,” Micah responded wryly. Gabe covered his mouth to stop from laughing out loud.
“We are going to start the simulation in the Humvee on the road just before the bombing, Micah.” Gabe glanced at the screens as Harold spoke, watching what looked like a video game. “What we are doing here, Gabe, is putting Micah’s brain back in the middle of the event. It’s a sensory experience, so to speak. The mind is full of doors that lead to rooms that store all the information a man learns and lives over his lifetime. The goal here today is to keep Micah in a heightened state of anxiety, to try and re-train his brain to stay focused and grounded in the here and now, instead of retreating into a flashback, behind one of those doors.”
Harold typed a few more things on the keyboard, and flipped a switch on his headset. “Okay Micah, ready?” Micah nodded. Harold flipped the switch again and Gabe realized that was why Micah didn’t react to everything the doctor had just explained to Micah: he couldn’t hear with his headset on unless the switch was flipped.
The video started rolling and Micah’s body jerked to one side. His body was remembering the movements of riding in the Humvee over the rocky terrain. Gabe’s eyes darted back and forth between the screen, seeing what Micah was seeing, and Micah sitting in that wooden chair with a toy gun in his hand. The Humvee came to a stop, Micah’s head leaning around like he was looking out the window from the back seat. Gabe relaxed a bit when Micah turned to his right and smiled.
“Micah, you still with me?” Dr. Prescott asked.
“Yeah.” Micah’s voice was choked, raspy.
There was an explosion on the video monitor and Gabe had no choice but to watch as Micah’s body convulsed. The toy gun fell to the floor at Micah’s feet and he gasped. “Oh God… Banks? Captain? Anyone?” Micah shouted, his head jerking from side to side. He coughed and made a strangling sound, like he might be choking.
“Micah, on a scale of 1-10, what is your anxiety level right now?” Dr. Prescott asked.
“Six.” The word came out through clenched teeth full of venom and hate. Gabe wanted it to stop; he couldn’t watch anymore. He looked up at Tristan, silently pleading with him to make it stop. When Micah screamed, Gabe made a move toward him but Tristan wrapped both arms around Gabe, holding him there but turning them around so Gabe didn’t have to watch anymore.
“If you go to him now, everything that has transpired today will be for nothing, Gabe. I know you just want to make it better, God knows I do too, but he has to be the one to heal the fractures in his mind. You and I cannot do that for him.” Tristan spoke softly, not wanting to interrupt what was happening behind them. Gabe continued to struggle, trying to break free for a few seconds, finally falling limp in Tristan’s arms, crying softly.
“Micah, on a scale of 1-10, what is your anxiety level now?” Prescott asked him again.
“Four.” Micah’s voice, while still sounding raw and gravelly didn’t hold as much pain as it had the last time Prescott asked.
“Good, yes, that is great progress, Micah. I’m going to end the simulation now.” Gabe wanted to turn around and punch Prescott in the face. Progress?
When Micah pulled the visor off it took every ounce of strength Tristan had to hold his irate lover in place beside him. Micah’s eyes were bloodshot and pained, a thin sheen of sweat covered his face and his breathing was labored. He bent to pick up the toy gun but his hand was shaking so badly, he couldn’t grip it. He looked up to Gabe and managed a weak smile, lifting his arm just a few inches in the air, motioning Gabe over to him. Gabe was across the room and in Micah’s lap in an instant.
“I’ll just give you guys a few minutes.” Prescott turned off the monitors before he left the room.
Micah was still so shaken he could barely hold Gabe in his lap. Tristan knelt down in front of the chair and wrapped his hands around Micah’s legs, lending him the strength to hold Gabe in his lap. “I don’t want you to do this anymore,” Gabe choked out between sobs, his face buried in the crook of Micah’s neck.
“Hey, babe, shhhhh.” Micah wrapped his trembling arms around Gabe. “It’s okay; believe it or not, that was a lot of progress today. I’ve never been able to lower my anxiety level. The number always gets higher —” Gabe leaned back and smacked Micah on the arm.
“NO! Dammit Micah Solo, I love you and I do not want to… no, scratch that. I refuse to sit back and watch you slowly drive yourself mad!” Gabe screamed at him.
Micah’s lips slowly turned up, morphing into a bright smile that made his eyes sparkle. “You love me, or you’re in love with me?”
Gabe growled, grabbing Micah’s nipple between his fingers and twisting, pinching the sensitive skin through the soft material of the T-shirt Micah wore, causing him to shriek. “You deserve that, you little shit.” Gabe barked.
Tristan stood, pulling Gabe off Micah’s lap and spinning him around, setting Gabe on his feet. He laughed, turning back to Micah and pulling him out of the chair, dragging his body close and holding him. “You okay?” Micah nodded.
“Can we go home now?” Gabe sounded dejected. Micah and Tristan laughed again, turning and pulling Gabe between them. He melted into them, sighing and wrapping an arm around each of them.
Tristan got Micah and Gabe settled on the living room couch as soon as they got home, both of them drifting off almost immediately. He grabbed a couple bottles of water and the ibuprofen, setting it on the table next to the couch. He stood and watched them both for a few minutes. They lay on the couch facing each other. Gabe’s arms were crossed over his chest in front of him and his legs were pulled up. He was curled into a ball in Micah’s arms. Right then, Tristan didn’t know which one of them had been hit hardest with that session and he agreed with both of them: something had to change.
Micah had grown so much stronger as a result of the therapy — he had fought off a couple of incidents on his own. It drained the life out of him for days afterwards, though. Micah himself had told Gabe and Tristan once that he felt like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin after a session. Gabe had changed in the wake of the three of them deciding to take their relationship to the next level as well. Or maybe he was his old self again. Tristan didn’t know either of them prior to Gio’s death, and Micah had only been around for a few months at that time. Gabe could finally be settling back into his life enough to be comfortable.
Tristan went into the kitchen to stir something up for dinner, deciding to do soup and sandwiches once Micah and Gabe woke up. Checking on his men one more time, Tristan headed up to the third floor to update his patient files from the past week and study for finals. It had been a long, hard road, but Tristan was just weeks away from being a licensed psychiatrist. A noise from downstairs had Tristan pulling his head out of the books. He looked at his watch, realizing he had been upstairs for almost two hours.
Gabe and Micah were talking, their voices growing clearer the further down the stairs he went. “I know baby; I know. Let’s not talk about it again right now though, okay? I just want to have dinner with my guys, cuddle up in bed and watch a movie, then fuck like bunni
es until we all pass out from exhaustion.”
“Okay.” Tristan almost chuckled at the pout he could hear in Gabe’s voice with just that one word. Well, at least he isn’t telling Micah to shut his face, Tristan thought, biting his bottom lip to stop from laughing.
Tristan took the last few steps into the living room, stopping to lean against the wall, just watching them for a few seconds. Micah looked up at him and smiled. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. Feeling better?” Tristan joined them on the couch, lifting Micah’s outstretched legs before he sat, laying Micah’s foot and blade in his lap. He reached out, running his fingers over the mottled skin just above where Micah’s blade attached to his stump. It was probably the one thing Tristan did to Micah that showed his love for him above everything else. No one had ever wanted to touch Micah’s leg; not even the models he shot scenes with got anywhere near his stump. But Tristan, he couldn’t sit within arm’s reach of Micah and not touch him there. It was both calming and loving, grounding Micah and letting him know how much he was cherished, scars and all, without so much as one word.
Gabe sat up and stretched, yawning. “I’ll go get something started for dinner.”
“I thought we could do soup and sandwiches, something quick and easy.”
“Tomato soup with grilled cheese?” Micah asked.
“How about tomato soup with veggie pasta and grilled cheese?” Micah said, already halfway out of the room. Gabe always managed to get fruits and vegetables into every meal he made, somehow.
“I’ll go help Gabe with dinner while you go shower,” Tristan told Micah, who gladly obliged. He felt drained and worn out, every muscle in his body aching after the tension that overpowered him while watching that video. Micah didn’t know how long he stood there letting the hot spray run down his back, beating away some of the tension in his limbs. He wasn’t really surprised to walk out of the bathroom to find Tristan and Gabe in their pajamas, the large bed tray set on the foot of the bed holding three bowls of steaming soup and a plate piled high with grilled cheese sandwiches.
Micah didn’t bother with his blade; he could brace himself along the wall for the few steps until he got to the dresser next to the bed and hop the last few feet over to the bed. His gaze locked with Tristan’s and he saw his lover fighting the urge to get up, walk over and pick Micah up and carry him to the bed. As soon as he was within arm’s reach, Tristan grabbed and lifted Micah, setting him on the bed in the middle, between him and Gabe. They watched TV while they ate, the three of them climbing under the comforter and snuggling close once they finished.
Micah didn’t know how long he dozed for, only stirring when a hand brushed across his cheek. Blinking his eyes open, he stared up at Tristan. He brushed Micah’s hair off his cheek, his thumb lingering, sweeping over Micah’s eye, down the side of his face then over his jaw line. He leaned in and kissed Micah softly, his tongue licking at the seam of Micah’s lips, asking for permission to enter. Micah opened and tilted his head right, Tristen went left and the kiss went from zero to goddamn it’s hot in here in seconds.
Micah felt Gabe’s hands on his back, then his body pressing close, showing Micah how turned on he was by grinding his hard cock against Micah’s ass. Clothes started coming off until the three of them lay naked, bodies pressed together as they felt and fondled each other. Micah felt so safe and loved, wedged into the tight space between Tristan and Gabe in the bed they shared. “I want you. I want you both.” He groaned.
“You have us, baby,” Gabe whispered, his breath ghosting over Micah’s ear, causing him to shiver.
“No, I want you both. At the same time.” All movement stopped, Tristan and Gabe both staring down at Micah, speechless. He rolled over onto his back, reaching for Gabe. He knew Tristan would be easy to convince, but Gabe was a bottom to the core; he would be the one that needed convincing.
“I need you, Gabe. I need you both right now more than I need air to breathe. I have never in all my life felt more safe and loved and wanted than I feel lying here between the two of you. I need this, Gabe, need to feel both of you, need to feel us all together. Please.” Micah looked up at Gabe hoping he would understand.
Gabe was quiet long enough that Micah felt certain he was going to refuse. “Okay Micah, for you or Tristan, I would do anything to give you what you need.”
Micah pounced, not wanting to give Gabe time to reconsider. He rolled their bodies so he was on top, pouring all the love he felt for Gabe into a kiss. He felt Tristan’s hands on his hips and let his body move where his partner wanted him. He moaned into Gabe’s mouth when Tristan ran his hand down his spine, then spread his ass cheeks and blew softly onto Micah’s opening.
Tristan smiled, leaning forward and running his tongue up along Micah’s crease from his balls to his hole, circling the tender flesh a couple times before poking at the opening with the tip of his tongue. “Holy fuck, Tris,” Micah shouted, his back bowing. He pushed back on the tongue that was now licking the inside of his ass, right around the rim.
Gabe scrambled out from under Micah turning sideways so he could wrap his lips around Micah’s semi-hard dick. The dual sensations of his lover’s tongues on his body, prepping him slowly, getting Micah ready to take them both was equal parts erotic and maddening. Micah was rocking back and forth, his senses on overload, his body trembling as his men worked him up from both sides. “Oh god… fucking hell,” he shouted when Tristan added one of his thick fingers to the assault on his hole, twisting, turning, rubbing against his prostate while he bit, licked and sucked on Micah’s ass.
“Oh god, you gotta stop guys, or I’m gonna blow,” Micah groaned.
“Lay down on your side, babe.” Tristan instructed him. Micah settled on his side facing Gabe, the two of them kissing softly while Gabe fisted Micah’s cock, nice and slow. “That’s it Gabe, just like that, help me get him ready.” They wanted to keep Micah on the cusp, without actually sending him over the edge.
“Oh my god, yeah.” Micah moaned when he felt what had to be two of Tristan’s fingers lubing him up.
When Tristan laid his body along Micah’s behind him and pressed the head of his cock into Micah’s body, he tensed. “I thought I was getting you both?” Micah asked, breathless.
“You will, but I need to loosen you up some first, love, we are not going to rush into this and take a chance on hurting you, Micah.” Tristan bit down on Micah’s shoulder, pulling another cursed gasp from his lover. He fucked Micah nice and slow, twisting his hips and rotating them in a circle, making sure to open Micah as much as possible while Gabe kept a tight grip on his dick. The two demons would bring Micah to the brink of his orgasm, one toe hanging over the cliff, before pulling him back every fucking time. He would scream if he weren’t busy panting and praying.
“You ready, Gabe?” Tristan locked eyes with Gabe. He licked his lips and nodded. Tristan smacked Micah on his ass, hard, then pulled out.
“No, no, no, dammit, why did you stop? Bastard! I was so close.” Micah was mumbling and cussing at them. Tristan and Gabe both grinned.
Tristan lay down on his back and smacked Micah’s ass once more for good measure. “Yeah, well why don’t you get that sweet ass over here and ride me?” In one fluid motion Micah rolled over to straddle Tristan, lifted his hips and came back down, swallowing Tristan’s cock whole. Both men cried out and Tristan had to grab Micah by the hips to hold him still so he didn’t fuck himself into an early orgasm before Gabe even got in the saddle.
“Gabe, come up behind Micah, on your knees, in between my legs.” Micah could hear the strain in Tristan’s voice, followed by the feeling of Gabe’s hands on his back as he moved quickly to comply with Tristan’s command. “Okay, start with your fingers. Insert them inside around my cock.”
“Fuck!” Micah shouted, his body acting on instinct and trying to jerk away from the pain.
“Slow Gabe, go slow.” Tristan had regained his composure. He reached for Micah’s cock and started a series of nice,
slow pulls from root to tip, looking up into his lover’s eyes, watching as the pain etched in his brow slowly morphed into pleasure. “I think he’s ready, Gabe. Work your way in on top of me, very, very slowly.”
Gabe had to thrust his hips a couple times before his crown slid inside. Micah was squirming as best as he could with the tight hold Tristan had on his hips, moaning, groaning and panting. Tristan watched Gabe over Micah’s shoulder as he slid home. His eyes went from uncertainty to glassy and hooded very quickly. “Wow, this feels… amazing,” Gabe said in wonder.
“Move with me Gabe, in and out, but only pull out halfway.” Slow, determined thrusts became harder, came faster.
Micah kept his eyes shut tight, his entire body tense as it was invaded with dual sensations of pleasure and pain. He was on the verge of regretting requesting both his men fuck him at the same time when the pain finally gave way to pure, intense, erotic sensation. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times until the room came back into focus.