by Smith,T. M.
The bar had been closed for their private party, but the two families had so much kin and friends attending that the bar was still pretty full. Kory, Micah and Gabe were playing pool with the four Brennan brothers, the oldest one, Sal, cussing up a blue streak because he was losing. His wife, the statuesque, red haired woman, was sitting on one of the bar stools along the wall next to the pool tables with Shay, Sophia and Victor watching the motley crew and laughing.
Andrew, Mattie, Colton, Tony and Dusty were playing darts, splitting their attention between their own game, and watching the group at the pool table rag each other. Jordan and Kassie were dancing on the small patch of wood next to the juke box that was playing something too fast for the slow pace to which the two were swaying. They were happy and oblivious to everything and everyone, lost in their own little world.
A dozen or so of NYPD’s finest were peppered throughout the bar, guys that worked with the Brennan men in one capacity or another. Littered in with that group were wives, significant others, half a dozen models from All Cocks and their boyfriends or plus ones. Chris and Linc sat at the other end of the bar chatting animatedly with Harold Prescott. Chris’s oldest friend Michael and his boyfriend Max were leaning against the bar, drinking a couple of beers and laughing at whatever Chris was saying.
A cute little blonde twink walked right into William’s line of sight, the small body freezing for a few moments, before turning and heading toward the restrooms. View no longer obscured, his eyes landed on the biggest guy in the bar aside from him again, unable to deviate for more than five minutes apparently. He wore the same leather pants and vest he wore the first time William had seen him, his long hair down and cascading over his shoulders and back this time. His beard was a bit shorter than before, probably just had a trim. William had never been attracted to someone as free spirited and rugged as Beau before, but there was something about the man that pressed every goddamn one of his buttons. Aside from a look here and there, and a few terse words, the man had rebuffed every attempt at flirting William tossed in his direction.
“Still looking to mount that steed, Willie?” Gabe’s melodic voice broke his deep concentration on the walking, talking, breathing wet dream making his way through the bar, cleaning off tables.
He smiled down at Gabe, noting that the spark he hadn’t seen in those pretty blue eyes since before Gio’s death was back, burning brighter than ever. He bent and hugged his friend, leaving his arm draped over Gabe’s shoulder when he turned to watch Beau cleaning dishes and trash off the booths in the bar. “He doesn’t seem to be too interested, Gabe.”
Gabe snorted, “And when has that ever stopped you before?”
They both laughed, talking for a few minutes before Micah called out to Gabe, waving him back over to the pool tables.
The big Cajun caught William’s attention again as he headed his way, arms full of empty beer bottles. Their eyes met and held for a few intense moments. William felt certain the attraction was mutual, unclear why the man looked at him like he was an ice-cream cone he wanted to devour one second, then dropped some invisible wall the next, hiding behind it like a wounded animal.
“Can I get ya somethin else dere?” Beau asked. William took a deep breath, squashing down the idea of climbing on top of the bar and grabbing the rugged man by the collar of the leather vest he wore over a black T-shirt that read I’m the one you gotta blow to get a drink around here and doing exactly what the shirt requested.
He turned to face Beau, leaning forward on his elbows. “Another beer, please.”
Beau grabbed the empty bottle with one hand, setting the full one in its place, eyes narrowing when William reached for the beer, running his fingers over Beau’s wrist before wrapping his fingers around the bottle. He turned and walked out from behind the bar without so much as a word, heading down the dark hallway that lead to the restrooms, kitchen, liquor room and a door with a sign that read Employees only, leaving William equal parts confused, irritated and turned on.
He glanced over his shoulder before pushing off his bar stool and following. William stifled a laugh when he passed the mens’ room, the sounds of someone getting fucked in a stall penetrating the brick wall and steel door. Probably the cute blonde that headed down the hall not twenty minutes ago.
The liquor room door was ajar so William peaked inside. Beau was pulling boxes of beer out of the cooler, stacking them in a larger box, presumably to re-stock the bar. Beau jerked around, eyes wide when William pushed the door open, hinges protesting loudly.
“Hey, is der something you need?” Beau straightened, crossing his arms over his impressive chest.
William smiled. “Yes actually.” He took a few steps into the room, kicking the door shut behind him.
Beau didn’t break eye contact, didn’t even flinch, he just narrowed his eyes at William. “And what dat be?”
Jesus! That accent is probably the sexiest thing I have ever heard in my life, he thought, moving closer to Beau. “You.”
“Pardon?” Beau responded, the barest hint of amusement in his sexy drawl.
“You. I need you,” William said, now standing mere inches away from Beau. Before the man could ignore his intentions once again, he fisted Beau’s vest in his hands and jerked him close, kissing him.
Beau didn’t respond initially, just stood stiff and still, not pushing William away, though. From one moment to the next an invisible switch was flipped and Beau reciprocated the kiss, finally. He grabbed William, turning their bodies and slamming William into the wall, hard. He pushed all six foot four inches, two hundred plus pounds of big body against William, who was no small man, pinning him to the wall and plundering his mouth like a starving man.
William was in fucking heaven. This. This was what he wanted, what he never got because anyone that came on to him only did so because they wanted what Beau was doing to him right this second. A man to dominate and top them, fuck them into oblivion. But William wasn’t made that way. He was the one that wanted to submit to a man that was man enough to dominate him and his large frame that was only barely dwarfed by Beau’s.
Beau tore at William’s jeans, sliding his huge hand into his pants as soon as the button and zipper gave way, wrapping his cock up in a tight grip. William moaned into the kiss, digging his fingers into the wall behind him for purchase. “Is dis what you want den?” Beau asked, his voice rough, gravelly and dangerous. God, how William wanted to beg Beau to bend him over the box of liquor to his left, tear his jeans off and fuck him until he was so raw he bled and walked with a limp for a week.
Words eluded him at the moment though; he was reduced to simple grunts, moans and groans. Feeling the familiar surge of energy that started deep in the belly of his balls, gradually finding its way to the slit of his dick before erupting, William grabbed Beau and held on as his orgasm clawed its way out, leaving him breathless and spent, leaning into Beau for support.
“Wow, that…” William tried to find the words, the pretty little bubble of orgasmic bliss burst with Beau’s response.
“Can never happen again.” His voice had gone from the sexy growl that curled William’s toes, to a malicious snarl. It was the equivalent to a bucket of ice in the face. Beau turned and grabbed the box of beer, storming out of the tiny room, leaving William alone to try and figure out what the fuck just happened. He was still foggy, his body slowly resurfacing from the best orgasm of his life. Beau’s lips said one thing, his body another, and William was bound and determined to figure that conundrum out.
“You can run, but you can’t hide,” he whispered, zipping and buttoning his pants, shaking the wrinkle out of his shirt and heading back out to the bar, just one task on his to do list: make Beauregard Boudreaux his, regardless of the cost.
A note from the Author;
I’m a Military brat, born and raised just outside of Ft. Benning Georgia. My father was an MP in the Army and I have several uncles, an aunt and some cousins in various branches of service, both past and pres
ent. I married Military and was a real, life Army Wife for a few years. I’ve been the woman sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. Praying it’s your husband on the other line and not some random government employee to tell me my soldier wouldn’t be coming home. I’ve seen firsthand how war changes people, specifically Somalia and Iraq. People I attended school and college with came back different, haunted, and some didn’t come back at all.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
(Wikipedia.org)
This book deals with how my fictional character lives with and deals with his PTSD after serving in the Military. He lost his leg, his sanity and his friends to an IED. While I have taken my own life experiences and poured them into Micah, he is not one real person I focused on for this book. I also mean no disrespect to the millions of people that are living with this condition every day.
PTSD is not only seen in our military, there are a multitude of reasons a person can suffer with this debilitating condition. If you, or someone you know, is dealing with PTSD, there are treatment options available to you.
PTSD treatment:
www.recoveryranch.com/
www.ptsd.va.gov
you can google “PTSD treatment” in your area as well
Live for Love
An All Cocks Story book 5
By TM Smith
Copyright © 2016 TTC Publishing
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author and/or publisher, and where permitted by law. Reviewers may quote brief passages for review purposes only. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact TTC Publishing at www.ttcbooksandmore.com or at [email protected]
DO NOT DISTRIBUTE, COPY OR SHARE
Available in Paperback or E-book
Est. Length 51,890 words
Cover art: Jay Aher | Simply Defined Art | http://www.jayscoversbydesign.com/
Beta readers: Kathy Mac, Zane Kage and Kimberly Spinney.
Editing: Hope Vincent (Flat Earth Editing)
Note: Live for Love is a work of Fiction. While there may be names of people, places and things that you have seen or heard before, nothing you are fixing to read is factual.
Copyright
Arnaud’s French 75 Bar
Heartland Brewery
Chipotle
Spock
Yoda
Jimi Hendrix
Purple Haze
Valium
Hozier – Take Me to Church
Peychaud's Bitters
True Blood
Renee Lenier
Sazerac
Fireball
Milk Stout
Band-Aid
Fleshjack
Phenergan
Nick Jonas
Tove Lo
Close
YouTube
Justin Wilson
Pier 25
Cards against Humanity
Delimarie
Nurse Ratched
Duane Reade
ESPN
PlayStation
Truvada
PrEP
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Village of the Damned
Jesse Jackman
Sixpoint Brewery
Glossary of Terms
Couyon – (Cajun) term for somebody a few sandwiches shy of a picnic
Mon Chéri – (Cajun) my darling
Cher – (Cajun) baby, darling
Laissez les bon temps roulette – pronounced “lay-zay lay bon ton rule-ay”
(Cajun) – let the good times roll!
Joie de vivre – (Cajun) a laid back attitude towards life.
Sombitch/Sumbitch – (Southern) short for son of a bitch
Note to readers:
Beau is Cajun. Where us less refined folk say this, that, there and then, the Cajun often pronounce the th sound with a d. There are times in the story where you’ll see dis instead of this, dat instead of that, along with other simple word changes. If you are a fan of Trueblood, René Lenier from season one is what Beau would sound like if he were a real person and not just a voice in my head. Also, certain words when spoken in Cajun or Creole have an extra vowel sound added to them—pardone instead of pardon, lemone instead of lemon, onyone instead of onion— all said pronouncing the soft ‘e’ at the end. Please keep this in mind when reading Beau.
Cast of Characters
All Cocks INC managing partners –
Victor Dimir, Andrew Jones Dimir and Mattie Dimir
Name | Porn Star alias
Christopher Allen Roberts | Kris Alen
Lincoln Carter | Linc Larson
William Richards | Connor
Dusty Anderson | Ashton Fox
Ricardo | Rocky
Micah Solo
Jacob | Jae Hart
Secondary Characters
Tristan Brennan | Micah Solo | Gabriel Simonsen
Jon Brennan
Kassie Anderson White
Jordan Schuler
Anthony Ramirez (Tony) & Colton Johnson
Michael & Max
Live for Love
Beauregard Boudreaux is a native of New Orleans Louisiana, born and raised there, he never thought he would ever stray far from home. The untimely death of his first love left Beau lost, adrift, looking for a place as far away from the pain as possible. Initially, he came to New York to visit a friend, the city growing on him, so he decided to stay. His law degree comes in handy at the LGBT Center he runs, but his bar is his baby.
William Richards grew up in Chicago, his family oddly normal and very accepting of his sexuality. Modeling paid the bills, gigs across the country as a model, male entertainer and a personal trainer giving him the opportunity to see the world. He hasn’t experienced loss or pain as Beau has, the common denominator between them is the loneliness. As All Cocks big, brooding bottom Connor, William has found friendship, family and an outlet for his craving to be more submissive than men of his size and stature usually are.
The two men are perfect for each other, their tastes and lives align and the writing seems to be on the wall. But Beau has a secret he shares with a choice few, a secret that not only threatens to keep them apart, it’s deadly. Determined to keep a wall between himself and William, Beau fights the attraction, pushes William away every time he steps closer. Can one man’s determination and strength be enough to tear down a wall that holds back decades of pain and darkness? And if he can, will either of them survive the flood?
Disclaimer: This book is the fictional story of a man living with HIV. I have put a lot of time and effort into presenting this story as true to fact as possible, without going into gory or gruesome detail. If this subject is a trigger for you, you may want to skip this read. But my hope is that you give Beau a chance to capture your heart as he has mine, and William’s.
Dedication and Thanks
Jeffery and Jerry for lending their life and their story and allowing me to use them as roots for these characters.
Joey D for not only signing on as the public face for William, but for letting me slightly mold his characteristics around you.
The story wouldn’t be the same without you guys, for that, I’m grateful.
Prologue
The wind whipped through the trees, a light rain trailing on its heels. Tiny drops of water bounced off the coffin, the sound echoing in Beau’s ears more like the loud bang of a drum than the soft pitter, patter of the rain. There he stood, rooted in place, his long hair matting to his head as the rain and wind picked up. He could hear the soft whispers of sorrow and condolences surrounding him, everyone else in attendance tucked under the lar
ge tent behind him. An arm wrapped around his waist, briefly pulling Beau’s attention away from the casket that held his dead lover.
He looked down at Alma, Izaiah’s mother, managing a small smile. The large-brimmed black hat she wore shielded her face from the now-insistent rain. She leaned up as Beau bent, allowing her to kiss his cheek. “He’s at peace now, Beauregard. I know it’s hard to let go, but you must, Cher. Now, my boy would be none too pleased if I let you catch your death out in dis weather. Come, back under the tent wit ya.”
Beau laughed at that; he could visualize her words as she said them: Izzie glaring at him with a pointed stare, cussing him with that mixture of Cajun, French and Creole that first drew Beau to the man that night so many years ago. Beau and a group of friends were drinking at Arnaud’s Bar in the French Quarter when one of the customers—drunk obviously—got a little handsy with the waitress. The waiter, a tall, lithe man with skin as black as night grabbed the drunk and tossed him out on his ass. A litany of colorful words spoken in three different languages fell from the gorgeous guy’s lips. When he turned, apologizing to the patrons of the bar, his gaze lingered a few seconds longer as his eyes landed on Beau.