by Karin Baine
She thinks she wants no strings...
Can sexy surgeon Ben change her mind?
Nurse Mollie Forrester has a reputation as an ice queen, and the scars from a childhood accident have convinced her no man could love her. When she’s paired with handsome surgeon Ben Sheridan in a dance competition, Mollie discovers he’s not the playboy everyone thinks he is. She finds passion in his arms—but can Ben persuade Mollie she’s worthy of love?
Mollie loosened the shirt and shrugged it down so it exposed her back but kept it clutched at the front to preserve what was left of her modesty and dignity.
Her eyes closed, her lip caught between her teeth, she braced herself for the gasp or worse, that unbearable silence while he searched for a diplomatic way to hide his revulsion. Tears brimmed on her eyelashes, waiting for the go-ahead to inevitably fall down her cheeks.
Instead, the soft pressure of Ben’s lips moved slowly up her back, following the knotted trail of patched-together skin she’d decorated with colorful tattooed butterflies. She held her breath waiting to see what would happen when he reached the top of her spine, expecting at some point he’d open his eyes and see her for what she was and back away. When he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her toward him, her knees began to tremble. This was new to her and though she didn’t know how to respond to the positive attention, neither did she want it to end.
Dear Reader,
The role of a carer is never an easy one. It’s all too easy to prioritize the needs of loved ones over our own welfare. However, taking time out for self-care is just as important as those hours spent looking after others.
It’s a lesson Mollie and Ben both have to learn throughout the course of this story. They’ve dedicated themselves to helping family members and in the process forgotten they’re entitled to lives of their own. Thankfully, once they’re thrown together for a charity dance competition and their personal circumstances gradually come to light, they realize that it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s actually the beginning of a new chapter in their lives.
This book deals with a lot of health issues and I’m sending my love to those whose lives have been impacted by serious illness. Please remember you are not alone. There is always a friend or medical professional who can help, even by simply listening.
Lots of love,
Karin xx
FROM FLING TO WEDDING RING
Karin Baine
www.millsandboon.com.au
For Kelly and Doctor K, who put me together again.
With thanks to Julia and Sheila for their patience and understanding, and to Tammy, Pat and Chellie for helping me with the research xx
Praise for Karin Baine
“Karin Baine is a brilliant writer. She takes you on a journey as the characters develop and find their inner strength and happiness. I recommend her books to any romance lover!”
—Goodreads on The Courage to Love Her Army Doc
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Epilogue
Excerpt from Resisting the Single Dad by Scarlet Wilson
CHAPTER ONE
MOLLIE FOCUSED HER attention on the gun in her hand, fully aware of the implications of this moment. Tattoos were a commitment but, as she knew herself, they also had the potential to be life-changing. If not for the hours she’d spent under the needle she might never have had the confidence to leave the house at all after her accident and the numerous resulting surgeries, never mind complete her nurse training. Although she’d never fully come to terms with the scars left behind from her childhood, having the physical ones at least partially hidden gave her some comfort.
‘If you need a break, just let me know.’ She glanced up to check that her patient, Carole, was coping with the continued vibration of the machine against her skin, but she showed no visible signs of distress.
‘I’m fine. That numbing cream you used seems to have done the trick.’
‘Good. We’re almost done anyway.’
As a clinical nurse specialist in the breast care centre at the Tower Hospital in London she worked closely with her patients through all stages of their treatment to ensure quality of care, from providing emotional support after that first diagnosis of breast cancer to advice and information post-treatment, but it was her role as medical tattooist that gave her most job satisfaction.
She knew how much it took for these ladies to trust her with their bodies after the trauma they’d gone through. That first time she’d had to strip off for the consultation with her tattoo artist, she’d been trembling so hard she’d imagined the only art possible was squiggly lines and splodges, but the sympathetic, caring nature of the woman she’d soon come to see regularly had put her at ease. She wanted to recreate that feeling of safety and privacy for everyone who came through the doors of her clinic as well as leaving them with a sense of pride in their appearance.
Some women who’d decided their bodies had been through enough after chemotherapy and surgery opted for the tattoo only rather than go through a breast reconstruction after a mastectomy, while others decided to make use of the prostheses and stick-on artificial nipples available. It was a personal choice for each individual patient, one not arrived at easily, and it was her job to inform them of the options available. This final decision was the road back for these women reclaiming their bodies and femininity from cancer.
She’d been there to support Carole during her difficult decision to have her breast reconstruction at the same time as her mastectomy six months ago and for her sake wanted to get the all-important shading right with the medical grade micro-pigment to create the 3D effect of the areola around the reconstructed nipple to complete the transformation. Hopefully this would be the last surgical step for her.
‘It looks so real. I can’t thank you enough.’ Carole’s eyes were shining with tears of gratitude as Mollie cleaned the wound one last time and switched off the tattoo machine.
She gave a cough to clear the ball of emotion wedged in her throat as she removed the sheet partially covering Carole’s upper half. It was impossible to accompany people on this journey without becoming emotionally attached.
‘You can take a good look in the mirror to make sure you’re happy before I put the dressing on.’
Though Mollie had never suffered from cancer herself, being able to look in the mirror without recoiling had been an important part of her recovery process and she was privileged to be in a position to do the same for other people. Even if she wasn’t convinced other people didn’t look at her scars without judgement, and still kept them covered as much as possible.
‘You’ve done an incredible job... I don’t know why I’m crying...’ Carole laughed through her tears as she eased her clothes on. She’d been stoic throughout the counselling sessions during her treatment and it was only human for those emotions she’d been holding back during her battle to come flooding out now it was coming to an end.
‘It’s a natural reaction, Carole. You’ve been through a lot. Now, do you have anyone you can talk to if you need to until I see you again?’ Although they’d discussed the course available to her with a clinical psychologist to help rebuild her confidence, it wouldn’t be right to just send her home now with no immediate emotional support.
‘My husband’s been great, as y
ou know, but my sister has invited me to stay with her for a few days in the country so I think I might take her up on the offer.’
‘Good idea. The break will do you good and we’re only on the end of the phone if you need to talk to any of us. Leave that dressing on for forty-eight hours and try not to get it wet for the next ten days or so. As we discussed, we’ll send you out an appointment in about six weeks for a top-up to prevent any fading, but if you experience any swelling or a rise in temperature between now and then, please speak to your doctor in case any infection should develop.’ All aftercare instructions were in the leaflets Mollie passed on but they were worth repeating when there was always that small risk of complication occurring.
‘I will. Thank you. I’m quite looking forward to some peace and quiet. Not to mention a bit of TLC. Even at sixty-three, I’m still considered the baby of the family.’ Carole rolled her eyes as she folded the information sheets for perusal later.
Although only the eldest by two minutes and sixteen seconds, Mollie understood that need to protect her little sister, too. Not that she’d been given much choice, with Talia having inherited their mother’s laissez-faire attitude to responsibility. Someone had had to step up and be the adult after their father abandoned them and, since Mollie was the one to blame for him leaving, that someone had been her.
The stress of her injuries and multiple surgeries had taken its toll on her parents financially and driven her volatile father to take out his frustrations on her mother and sister. If she’d done as she was told and kept away from that old building at the end of the road she would never have slipped and been ripped to shreds falling through that glass window and shattered the family. Trying to emulate Talia’s daredevil defiance had been an immature attempt to grab some of the local boys’ attention away from her pretty sister and had ultimately ruined her life and everyone else’s.
It was the guilt of being the catalyst for that escalating violence and eventual abandonment that had kept her at home looking after their broken-hearted mother and left her indebted to her sister. They’d paid the price for her actions and carried as many scars as she did.
There was a hard, sharp rap on the door—the kind she associated with medical emergencies or anxious family members impatient for news—which dragged her out of those dark memories and back into the present.
‘Come in,’ she shouted, half expecting to see a worried Mr Rogers keen for news on his wife’s progress. He attended all Carole’s appointments with her, even if he didn’t sit in on counselling sessions, and they always left holding hands. It was the kind of sweet relationship she wished her mother had found after their father had left, instead of the string of disastrous affairs she’d fallen into over the years, her confidence knocked into submission long ago. Perhaps if she had found that support in a partner life would’ve turned out so very differently for them both where Mollie wouldn’t have felt indebted to fill the role. She might even have harboured some small desire to find love herself if she’d seen evidence it existed. As it was she’d be happy simply to have some space of her own.
The door opened and there was a brief flutter of panic in her chest that it might have been one of her family members come to seek her counsel. It wouldn’t be the first time her mother had rolled up here, tear-stained and hungover after a row with her latest boyfriend, expecting her daughter to be sympathetic. Now that Talia was working in the nearby emergency department, there was every possibility she could turn up at any given moment, too.
Her relief when a beaming male figure strode into the room was short-lived. It wasn’t the kindly Mr Rogers, who made her hidden romantic sigh, but Ben Sheridan, Consultant Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon at the clinic, who had the uncanny ability to make every nerve in her body tighten until she was sure one day they would all snap and leave her lying on the floor before him like a puppet with its strings cut.
‘Sorry to interrupt, Nurse Forrester, I just wanted to check up on my favourite patient.’ He breezed past her in a waft of spicy aftershave towards the now positively girlish Carole, who was blushing and waving away the flattery.
‘Sure. Don’t mind me.’ Mollie dropped the used cotton balls and antiseptic wipes into the bin, letting the lid slam shut in a pique of temper.
Her job in maintaining the link between patients and the health-care professionals meant their paths crossed regularly at the multidisciplinary team meetings where they discussed cases and recommendations for treatment. Those who’d witnessed him transform patients’ lives beneath his scalpel had declared him as a ‘brilliant young surgeon.’ It was a shame that with that brilliance also came a self-righteousness that he thought gave him a right to bawl her out when they’d had a difference of opinion over a patient’s treatment. She’d known the patient’s desire to keep as much of her own breast tissue as possible but Ben had pulled rank, insisting there was no option but to perform a complete mastectomy to remove all traces and possibility of cancer.
Whether he’d been correct in his judgement or not, it hadn’t given him the right to yell at her the way he had that morning. He obviously thought that being at the top of his field meant that no one else could question his decisions, but she was every bit as confident in her role as he was in his. She would never question that he was the expert when it came to reconstructive surgery but she knew the patients on a personal level and she reckoned that counted just as much when deciding on the best course of treatment to suit an individual’s needs.
Mollie didn’t often hold grudges but when it came to questioning her professional abilities she was willing to make an exception for Ben Sheridan.
When he came here, ‘checking up,’ her paranoia kicked in that he suspected there was a danger she might undo his good work during this final stage and that their conflict might turn out to be more than a one-off.
‘I’m fine, Doctor. Mollie here has been wonderful.’ Carole’s praise was a welcome affirmation to him that she knew what she was doing.
‘Good to know I left you in such capable hands.’ Ben nodded an acknowledgement Mollie was sure was nothing more than professional courtesy yet heat prickled her skin as that cobalt stare lit upon her. Those ever-watchful blue eyes contrasting against the near black, neatly groomed hair and dark beard made him an imposing figure. Not to mention a handsome one. Two factors that had an unsettling effect on her pulse.
‘It might seem like a lot to ask now, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to keep looking in the mirror and learn to accept these changes are part of everything which makes you the beautiful person you are.’ She kept her back to Ben while she gave Carole the pep talk, conscious he was here watching and listening.
There were so many reasons she felt uncomfortable around him, but it was the attraction she felt towards him despite their obvious personality clash that unnerved her most. He had a reputation among the nursing staff as much for his antics outside the operating theatre as inside it. It had been noted that he’d attended every hospital event in recent times with a different woman on his arm and appeared to lead a very interesting and varied personal life. Unlike her own.
She’d learned at an early age men usually preferred trophy girlfriends to scarred, damaged women with too many personal issues to stuff into a designer clutch bag, and had steered clear since.
Work, home, eat, sleep, repeat—that was her routine and she was happy as long as she was allowed to get on with it in peace.
‘Well, we’re all finished now...’
There’s no need for you to stick around, Ben...
Carole’s phone beeped with an incoming text message and Mollie bent down to retrieve her handbag from the floor to save her stretching for it.
‘I’ll get it—’
‘Let me—’
Unfortunately Ben reached for it at the same time and accidentally grabbed her hand instead of the bag. The unexpected jolt from the touch of his skin on her
s almost knocked her onto her backside.
She scrambled to her feet and let him do the honours, since the room suddenly seemed much too small to accommodate his sizeable frame along with hers and Carole’s.
‘That’s my husband. I should go and put him out of his misery and tell him we’re all finished.’
‘Great. I’ll say a quick hello while I’m here.’ Ben—seemingly eager to put some space between them, too—escorted Carole out of the door and let Mollie breathe a little easier.
‘I’ll see you in a few weeks’ time, Carole.’ The moment Mollie waved them off and shut the door, she collapsed back into her chair. A quick glance at her watch confirmed she had time before her next appointment to grab a break and regain her composure.
It was ridiculous that she should get so flustered when she knew she was damn good at her job, but he had that knack of upsetting the status quo around here. No matter how busy they were at the clinic, there was always that ripple of excitement accompanying a visit from Mr Sheridan, which was not reserved solely for her. Staff and patients alike lit up whenever he was around.
Some days it was like an episode of one of those awful reality shows where women competed against each other in the hope of winning the coveted prize of a date with the handsome star attraction. Thank goodness she had no inclination towards any man who treated women as nothing more than accessories. Her mother had paraded enough of those through her life to leave her immune. There seemed little point in adding a man to the list of people she had to worry about or who could cause her more pain, and no reason this man in particular should make her rethink that now.
There was another rap on the door but this time it opened before she’d even had time to reply.
‘I wanted to thank you—’ Just when she thought it was safe to relax, Ben popped his head around the door again and every fibre of her being tightened back to breaking point.