Zombie Theorem: The End Game

by James Wallace

  My calm came back, but I thought about her words. “Who am I going to lose?”

  “The future is never set in stone, but every time I look into it, I see death. Just know, you need to stay in command and make decisions. Just understand, no matter what you say or do, you will lose people.”

  I took her words and thought about them. But every time I tried to consider what it meant, my thoughts would scatter. I sighed and wrapped my arms around Angel, taking in the coconut aroma that her hair gave off. I finished my beer and kissed the top of her head. “I think it’s time you send me back, kiddo. I have a lot to do.”

  “Time means nothing here, Dan. But I understand. I will see you again. Send my love to Brian.” She changed to the little girl I knew her best by and jumped into my arms. “I miss you, Dan. I wish he would send me back again. But he won’t let me, says he needs me here, and that he is relying on you.”

  I looked up into her pretty eyes and opened my mouth to say something when the scene changed, and I was in a dark room. I heard snoring off to my right and was pretty darn sure I knew who it belonged to. I laid there in my bed and thought about the words that Angel had said.

  No matter what I did, I would lose people in the upcoming fight. So, do I put into the plan; counting for acceptable losses? That never made sense to me. No loss of life was acceptable. I rubbed my face in my hands and rolled off of my bunk. I walked over to the sink in the room and took a whore’s bath. I laughed quietly to myself, remembering doing this in the tower. I found a razor and some shaving cream nearby and quickly shaved the hair on my head, then cleaned up my beard into my new goatee look I had cultivated since this all started. I toweled off and looked at the man in the mirror. Last time I’d done this, I’d had been in the SFPD locker room and I had seen a defeated man who had so much to learn and grow from.

  Now, I saw a man who looked nothing like that defeated man. I looked older for sure, but more confident of myself. I had become what others called a leader. I saw determination, I saw a new hardness, I saw a man who had gone through hell and back. I dressed in the dark into a new uniform from my Zomgo pack that Brian had brought into the room when he’d come to bed. I donned my armor, slid my shotgun over my shoulder, and holstered my 1911 into its leg holster. I missed my MP5, I needed to find a suitable replacement. I was a better shot, not perfect or even close to it, but I understood how to use one now. I cracked open my door and walked down the hallway, making my way over to the common room.

  My stomach would not stop rumbling. I knew it would be going on strike, if I didn’t put something in it soon. I opened the door and found it to be half-full with soldiers, eating and unwinding from the day’s actions. I found Brian’s crush, Lieutenant Lorne Lewiston working the kitchen.

  He snapped to attention and his hand started raising for a salute and he yelled. “Major in the room, Attention!”

  I dropped my head and sighed. “As you were, room!” I turned so everyone could see and hear me. “Cut that crap out, unless I am with Kuppers or someone higher. I am not into all the saluting nonsense, thank you.” I watched as everyone took their seats and went back to what they had been doing before.

  I turned back to kitchen and Lorne “Are you looking for anything in particular to eat, sir?”

  “Cut the sir shit. My name is Dan. No, but I am starving. A sandwich or whatever you got would be nice.” I turned to walk away when a thought occurred to me. I swung back around. “Hey, do they have any good coffee or just that instant swill?”

  “They have some pretty good coffee. I would be happy to make you a cup. How do you take it?”

  “Black, nothing in it, and thank you!” I moved over to the dining table and sat down, taking my notebook out of my breast pocket and flipping to the last page. I vibrated happily over the chance to drink real coffee again, and it was going to be hot.

  I ignored everything around me and delved into my notes. When a hand landed on my shoulder, I looked up in surprise. Vic stood there, holding a map and a stack of files.

  “Looks like I found you on my first try.” He dropped the map and files on the table and knuckled a knot out of his back. He pulled out a chair and looked toward me “Mind if I join you?”

  I pointed at the chair “Park it before your tired ass falls on the ground. Want a cup of coffee, or something to eat?”

  “Oh God, coffee would be nice, and whatever you’re eating sounds good to me. Kuppers wants you and I to plan our defense. Think you feel like helping out?” He sat down and let a deep sigh out.

  I turned to kitchen. “Another cup of coffee for my friend and if you could please make him whatever you are making me.”

  “Yes, sir.” he answered back.

  “Thank you, and stop the sir, shit.” I yelled back.

  “Yes, Sir,” he said back with a smile on his face.

  “I’m going to have you keelhauled, if you keep this up,” I retorted.

  “Sorry sir, but that is a Navy term, and we do not have a Navy anymore, sir.”

  I scratched my chin and thought about what he had said. “I think we need to change that.”

  Vic turned his head and looked at me. “Do you want to tell me what is going on inside your head Dan?”

  I ignored him as I grabbed my notebook and flipped to an empty page. I wrote my thoughts out quickly and added some questions I would need answered. I then addressed Vic’s question, “That is not important right now. Let’s go over what we have though, and start working on our defenses.”

  Vic and I worked on figuring out our supplies and assets for the next ten minutes, till our coffee and food arrived. I ignored the food and when the first splash of the black coffee hit my lips, my knees became weak. If I had been standing, I think I would have fallen or at the least, grabbed onto something to keep my balance. I was in heaven, no, not really, not like on the boat. But metaphorically I was, this was a little slice of normalcy in a world that had changed so drastically in the last couple of months. My mind switched to the day I had been sitting in my office, worried over inaccurate reports and bad data. I had thought back then, that those actions were the start to the end of my world. Turns out I would be happy to give all that has happened and go back to worrying about things that, in the real day-to-day problems, didn’t matter.

  My mind came roaring back from those days when I tilted the cup and found it empty. Looked like I was on autopilot. I put the cup down on the table and looked over to Vic who had been sitting there, watching my actions.

  “That was so interesting to watch, Dan.”

  A hand appeared around me, holding a carafe and refilled my cup to the brim. I shrugged my shoulder as if to say ‘shit happens’.

  “Okay so we know what supplies we have and our troop strength. Think we should go over the map and start working out scenarios?” Vic asked.

  I picked up my sandwich and took a big bite as I considered my options. A thought then came to me, well, a couple of thoughts really. “What is the strength of the Chief’s tribe, and what the hell is Delta doing?”

  Vic flipped through his files and pulled one out from the bottom. He opened it and browsed through its contents. “Including the Chief and his son Henry, we have twenty-six men and women that he said are his warriors. The rest are children, and old men and women who are tasked with taking care of the children.” He then pulled out his notebook and flipped to a page he had dog-eared. “Hase and Delta have broken into two teams. Team Bravo is led by Howser, and include Harry and Hunter. They are camping on the other side of the mountain guarding our rear. Team Alpha, consisting of Heaven, Hase and Helmut are ranging out to find the oncoming force. They expect contact in the next five hours.”

  I sat back and thought about the information that Vic had briefed me on. I pulled the map from under the pile of file folders and spread it out. It was a much nicer one than the one I had used to navigate our way here. This one had elevations and showed the garage entrance and air shafts. I took my pen and started making notat
ions in my short hand, that I was only able to decipher. I wasn’t trying to hide info from Vic, my mind just worked faster this way and allowed me to categorize my ideas.

  A question popped into my mind as I stared at the garage entrance marked on the map. “Has Cupcake had a chance yet to go over the garage and itemize assets we could use?”

  “No, I think he is asleep.” Vic looked back and identified someone he knew. “Corporal Narron, front and center.”

  The young woman jumped over the couch, ran up and snapped into attention. “Corporal Narron, reporting as commanded. Sir!” she called out while sketching a proper salute.

  “Corporal, go find Cupcake and tell him, I want his ass here in five minutes. He is a little sarcastic, so don’t take his shit. Tell him, Major Welko orders him to report.”

  “Yes, Sir.” She held her salute and after a minute I realized she was waiting on me.

  I raised my hand and saluted her from my seated position. Not very formal, I know. The Corporal dropped her salute and took off at a dead run to complete her orders.

  I turned to Vic. “You enjoy doing that, don’t you?”

  Vic shrugged. “I have no idea what you mean by that.” He hid his smile behind his coffee cup as he brought it to his lips and took a sip. “I would never abuse my power, sir. Now, I have no problem abusing your power, though.” He chuckled and drained his cup.

  I finished my sandwich and was halfway through my coffee when the carafe appeared again, poised to top it off. “You might just want to leave that carafe on the table son. No reason to hover. Thank you.”

  “I will refill the carafe and make another pot, sir.”

  I looked to Vic. “Think I will ever get anyone to drop this ‘sir’ business?”

  “Probably not, it is too engrained our heads. Sir.”

  I threw one of my chips from my plate at him. He caught it and popped it into his mouth in one smooth motion, grinning at me.

  “Ok, let me outline my ideas so far.” I circled certain areas and explained who I wanted to lead each section and how I wanted the plan to go off.

  Vic refilled his cup from the carafe left on the table and sat back in his chair thinking. “That is risky, since we have no idea which way they will be coming in.”

  I countered. “But we do know, they have no idea we are here. And we know the process from Holly, how the guards handle incoming supplies and guard changes. I noticed most military groups do things the same way every time.”

  “You ain’t lying about that. The military likes doing things by the book. Heck, they even have a process for taking a leak. Who do you think we should make leader of our little faux guard group?”

  I answered quickly the name I had already chosen for the job, the second the plan had come in to my head. “Brian.”

  “But there are no guards here that match his Sasquatch-like size and physique,” Vic countered.

  “Maybe not, but I bet if we gave him access to the prisoners, he could work something out after questioning them. I trust Brian more than anyone alive,” I argued.

  “I’m fine with it, but we need to pass it by Kuppers,” Vic hedged his bets.

  “No he doesn’t. I gave Dan full autonomy to do what he thinks is best,” answered a rough voice.

  I tilted my head around Vic and found Kuppers, sitting in an easy chair.

  “When the hell did you come in?” I asked. Vic spun around and was as surprised as I was to see him.

  “After your first cup of coffee. I took this nice chair and decided to try and nap when I heard your planning details. Do what you think is best, Dan.”

  I threw him a double thumbs up and he chuckled and closed his eyes. In seconds he was out, and breathing in deeply as he slept.

  “You heard him, Vic. When the Corporal comes back, send her to wake the Sasquatch. I am going to go take a leak. Also have Cupcake go to the garage. I want a full detailed report in an hour of what he finds.”

  “You got it, Dan,” he said to my back as I left the room to find the bathroom.

  I walked down the hallway till I found a door with the Men/Women sign on it. I went in and took care of recycling the old coffee and making room for more. When done, I flushed and made my way to the sinks. I looked at myself and blew out my breath.

  “Be smart, Dan, and no one should die.”

  I rinsed my face with water, and almost had a heart attack when a little voice said, “You can win, but there will be deaths.” For a second, I saw little Angel in the mirror standing behind me. I spun quickly, but she wasn’t there. I turned again and found that she was also gone from the mirror. I was rooted in place, thinking on her words. I shook off the experience, straightened my uniform and jogged back to the common room and Vic.

  When I entered, I found Vic where I had left him, but Cupcake was now in my seat, reading through a file folder. I made my way around him quietly, and was getting ready to scare him when he spoke, “Saw you walk in the door, Dan. I am not a common man, but a well-trained soldier and cop.”

  “You are no fun, Cupcake. Now get your Polish ass out of my chair.”

  He closed the file and bent to the left, lifting one butt cheek up. He let out a fart that could have been considered a weapon of mass destruction, due to its biological nature. I covered my nose and tried to breathe through my ears.

  “Oh my God Cupcake, what crawled inside you and died?” I said with my muffled voice.

  “You liked that? I can deliver some more if you’d like.”

  “If you even think about it, I will order Vic and the rest of the troops in here to shoot you. Now, why are you not in the garage already?”

  He stood slowly and turned to me. “Like I was telling Vic before you so rudely interrupted us, I have already been in the garage and inventoried it. I was amazed to find some more weapons, and two up armored Humvees, along with a single M1127 Reconnaissance Vehicle, that Ridder somehow installed a Bushmaster machine gun on. I want it to become my new girlfriend.” He got a far-off look in his eyes for a second. “I miss my sexy Beast,” he said with emotion in his voice.

  “Those were fun times. Your Beast got us through some hairy situations. Maybe someday, we can go back to her and get her back on her wheels and working again. Of course, that will be when this whole thing is over.” I patted his shoulder.

  He sniffed and gave me a look that said ‘thank you’. “Yeah well, if I make it that far, sure. Okay, I am going to wrangle up some enlisted men and take them with me to the garage. If that is okay with the Major, that is.”

  “Dismissed, Cupcake.” I sketched a salute which he returned.

  He slowly made his way over to the soldiers sitting on the couch watching a DVD on the TV and stood with his arms crossed. “Which of you robaki, wants to get off your ass and come work for me in the garage?” He stood there for a full minute in silence as the soldiers ignored him. “I was trying to be nice! So now, I not be so nice! Get off your asses and follow me! Oh, and just so you know, robaki means maggots! Now, move it!” He delivered this last part as a drill Sargent would to a new class of recruits. All of the men and women in the room dropped what they were doing leapt to their feet, and followed Cupcake out the door. Before he disappeared, he looked over to me and gave a smile and wink.

  “That man is nothing but trouble, I thank the Gods that he’s on our side,” Vic muttered.

  I poured another cup of coffee and looked over to see if Kuppers had been wakened by Cupcake’s ruckus, and found him missing from his comfy chair.

  “When the hell did our infamous leader leave?” I asked Vic.

  Vic turned in his seat and looked at the chair Kuppers had been in and shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows, he tends to do that. One minute there, the next gone. He’s like smoke. Can we finish up these plans?”

  I nodded my agreement and we went over the files, supply lists, and map again. Fine-tuning my plan, which Vic made sure I understood; that if it failed it was mine, if it worked it was ours. I flipped him off and p
oured another cup of coffee.

  The door opened to the room and Corporal Narron with Brian in tow made their entrance. She looked like an Ewok to his Chewbacca-like size. I know, I switched from a mythical monster to a Star War’s character. I fully recognize that I do that. I am very sure I will go back to calling him a Sasquatch again, or identify him with some lost giant civilization that roamed the world, eating sheep and young children. Just keep following along.

  Brian made his way over and looked down at me. “You really have something against me sleeping Boss?”

  “Hey, if I remember correctly back in the tower, you said you could survive on naps and little sleep. So stop your complaining, I have an important and vital job for you to do. Unless you want me to promote the Corporal over there above you and have her do the job that needs to be done.”

  He rolled his eyes and put his hands out in supplication. “Alright, alright, alright. Gee, you are a pain in the ass sometimes. So what can my big ass do for you, Boss?” he offered.

  “Vic, can you run the plan down for him? I want to see if I can make another sandwich.” I turned to Brian. “Would you like something to eat?”

  “Wow, Boss. You are being nice all of a sudden. Me thinks, I will not be liking this mission. And yes of course, I will eat whatever you make as long as it isn’t another damn MRE.”

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I think I saw a couple of cans of Alpo dog food. I’ll go check. Vic, you want anything?”

  Vic shook his head as he handed a file folder to Brian and started his briefing. I rummaged through the large walk-in pantry and fridge, and found the fixings to make sandwiches. I made myself a turkey on sourdough, with a can of cranberries I’d found. I then added tomatoes and lettuce to it. I used to love making these after Thanksgiving. For Brian, I made two sandwiches and just piled on meats and vegetables. I finished it off with mayo, mustard, and cheese. I made them extremely overstuffed, since he burned through calories like a cowboy burned through whiskey.

  I brought the plates over and handed Brian his. As I sat down and prepared to take my first bite, I looked up and saw that Brian had already polished off one of his sandwiches. Wow, that man scared me. I slowly ate mine and listened too Vic, finishing up his briefing. Brian finished his last sandwich and opened the carafe of coffee and chugged it down, slamming it back down on the table.