by S MacLeod
"What if I hadn't come out?"
"I would have knocked."
"Okay, where are we off to now? I am sure I will be sore by tomorrow, so lets have it."
"To show you how to ride?"
"I rode here from Ronin."
"Aye, at a walk."
Hmm. This should be interesting. "Okay, let's go."
Rowan led her to the stables. The stable boy started to head into a stall which, she guessed, was to a very gentle horse. Sonya walked up & down the row greeting & petting all the horses. She loved horses. They had the softest noses & always tried to nibble you. After a look she stopped in front of a horse she recognized.
"This one," she stated.
Rowan said, "This one might be better to start with."
"Nope, I would like to ride this one. I like the spots." She was familiar with the Appaloosa. Her uncles had that type.
"The lady has spoken, lad. She will ride this one."
Rowan on the other hand, rode a medium brown horse with spirit to match his owner…untamed.
She took the reins from the young boy. "Thanks, I've got it."
"Yes, Milady."
Sonya got herself into the saddle as Rowan waited for her. They walked out into the field. "Where will we ride?" she asked.
"This way. There is some foliage, but I like it."
Sonya spurred the horse forward in the direction Rowan indicated. She hated trotting. She didn't expect any woman liked it too much. So, she made a clicking noise & the horse sped off. Oh, to ride a running horse had to be the next best thing to having wings!
Sonya emptied her head of everything but the exhilaration that filled her. The air blowing her hair back, the breath of the horse as he ran. Rowan matched her stride. The horses leaped a bit of brush & she stayed seated. She didn't always as a girl, but boy did she keep trying & kept jumping too. As they neared a lane with a row of beautiful trees on each side they slowed to a walk. Rowan smiled at her & she smiled back.
"Well?" she queried.
"Is there naught ye have to be taught?"
"I am sure there are a few things," she smiled. Rowan laughed.
As they reached a clearing, Rowan stopped. "I have always loved it here. We used to play here as children."
"You & Angus?"
"Aye & several other children as well."
Sonya looked over at him with narrowed eyes, trying to figure him out. He had a happy look as he reminisced. So, he wasn't all play. Rowan looked over at her & smiled.
"Ready to return?" he asked.
"Sure. It is nearly dinner, isn't it?"
"Aye, it is. We'll come again another day, when there is more time." They turned & rode back as fast as they had come. It was fun, it was freeing & Sonya truly enjoyed herself.
*
At dinner Sonya sat next to Rowan. She listened & smiled. There was never a boring conversation in this family! It reminded her of her own & she smiled again.
"Sonya," Angus said, "now will ye tell us how ye came here."
"Well, as we were just nearing...there was a wreck." That wasn't really lying, was it?
"And the others?"
"The ones that remained have settled into Ronin." Sonya didn't want to talk more about that.
"Tell us what your home is like," Anne said steering the conversation away from Duncan. Boy, did Sonya love that woman! Now, how the heck was she going to pull this one off?
"I lived down in the south in a place called New Mexico." They looked so riveted that she almost laughed. "It is very hot & dry there; the opposite of here really. It is a desert. I like to keep warm."
In a very low voice Rowan said, "We have ways of keeping one warm, lass." Sonya, choked & turned red. Angus looked at his brother who had a knack for looking innocent, even when you knew he wasn't!
"Anyway," Sonya cleared her throat. "It has beautiful skies & a very unusual place called White Sands. Which is just that, a place you can go & it is all white."
"Oh! That sounds so interesting," said Anne with wonder in her voice.
Sonya smiled. "It is."
"What other things do ye have there?" asked Angus with curiosity lighting his eyes. Let's see, I guess I will leave out the Air Force Base & the Space Center. Imagine!
"What is your dwelling like?" asked Anne.
"Well, it is like a cottage."
"Do ye have a horse?" asked Rowan.
"No, but my uncles did. I loved to ride when I was growing up. Every chance I could get, I rode."
"No kidding," Rowan said dryly & Sonya laughed.
"Women are not so timid where I come from. At least not all of them."
"I think we have noticed," Angus confirmed & Sonya smiled. She didn't notice Anne was too timid either.
"Doona worry," Anne said. "Women here have to be strong. It is a respected trait."
"That's a good thing," Sonya said & they all laughed.
After dinner they all retired to a smaller room that seemed like a leisure room. There was a chess board set up, & other things lying on small tables. Anne sat on a window seat & drew some sewing out of a basket. She smiled at Sonya. Angus sat in a chair listening to a harp & lyre play on the far side of the room. Sonya wasn't quite sure what to go do. She was about to ask to leave when Rowan took her hand, leading her to the center of the floor, where he began dancing with her.
"Angus said ye doona dance."
"I am not comfortable with it."
"That isn't what I heard."
Sonya went red, not sure what he had been told. The first thing that went through her mind however, was of her & Duncan on the dance floor.
"Ye taught Angus & the whole court a new dance."
"True. It was the only one I could think of."
"Well, everyone is talking about it."
"Are they? I am glad they like it."
"Would ye like to walk the gardens before ye retire?"
"Yes. That would be nice." Rowan stopped & offered his arm. They did not bother Angus who seemed to be 'resting' his eyes. Rowan did stop by his mother & gave her a kiss on her cheek.
"I will see ye two tomorrow."
Sonya bowed her head. "Goodnight, Your Majesty." Anne smiled at Sonya as she & Rowan left.
"What say you now, Angus?" Anne asked.
Without opening his eyes he replied, "Mother, the lass is nay in love with Rowan."
"Not yet. Love will come."
Angus opened his eyes this time, looking amused at his mother. "Aye, it can come, but it will nay come for her & Rowan. She is in love with Duncan."
"Well, that means naught."
His eyebrows rose. "Aye? How is that?"
"Because she is a sensible young woman & Duncan is nay here."
"Aye, but love is never sensible ma, as ye know. I asked da about ye once."
"Oh, pah!" Anne responded, waving her hand at him.
"He said ye told him ye were willing to 'wait until time came to an end'. Wasn't that what ye promised him?"
Anne reddened just slightly hiding a smile. "I am tired, Angus. I think I will retire." Angus chuckled.
"Aye as will I." He stood & walked over to his mother, holding out his arm for her, escorting her to her chamber.
*
As Rowan & Sonya walked through the gardens she looked at him. He was a very handsome man. There was much more to him than she had given him credit for. She was wrong about him. And if she were looking for someone to marry, he would be a great catch. But she wasn't in need to marry like some women. Being single was not the end of the world. She was one of those people that needed time on her own. And being married to a prince, though an honor, was just not something she wanted at all. Rowan stopped & picked three daisies for her. She smiled.
"Thank you."
He sat down on a bench & she joined him.
"Sonya?"
"Yes?" When she looked at him she was surprised to see such a serious look on his face. She wasn't sure she liked it. "What is it Rowan?"
He l
ooked over at her. "Would ye allow me to court ye?" She took a deep breath. Hello! Didn't I just go through this?
"Oh, Rowan," she sighed, shaking her head.
"Well, mayhap ye will just consider it."
"Rowan, you are a prince. Your brother rules a country & I am just...," she shrugged. Rowan seemed to be studying her & she stopped talking.
"Ye would make me a grand wife, Sonya. Ye would have no problem fitting in here. Ye are a Scot after all," he grinned.
"That I am," she agreed. He took her hand & gently kissed it.
"Consider it," he said, standing. He kissed her on the cheek & walked towards the castle. And there she sat, looking after him.
Oh, geeze! Half of my life I liked boys & then men that considered me 'friends' & never returned my feelings. Now I am in love with one man & another wants to marry me. Me! He wants me to be his wife! Crazy! Sonya sat there for some time, twirling the daisies in her fingers. When she returned to her room she put them in a mug of water.
Lying down on the huge bed Sonya stared at the ceiling. It was different from her room at Ronin castle. Her room. If she stayed here she would not see Ewan or her friends very much. She wouldn't have to see Duncan though. Was that a good or bad thing? It would hurt for some time. Eventually it would pass, wouldn't it? Oh good Lord! She couldn't possibly be considering this, right? She turned over, smacked her pillow with a fist, & slept fitfully that night.
Days stretched on & Rowan did not repeat his request to Sonya although they continued to spend time together. If she wasn't serious she needed to tell him. Stringing someone along was a distasteful thought. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't do that. He was as kind as Angus even if he had been a woman chaser when he was younger. Anne looked up from her sewing at Sonya who sat in the chair across the anteroom.
"Sonya, what is troubling ye, deary?"
"Hmm?"
"Ye are frowning."
"I am? I didn't realize."
"Is it such a distasteful thought?"
Sonya knew exactly what she meant & raised a brow. "No," she said truthfully, "it isn't."
"Ye are family here."
"I know & I am grateful for that. I also know that Rowan deserves someone that loves him."
"Love grows, Sonya. Ye learn trust, earn respect & caring & love will come."
"I am sure it can grow, but I do not think I am the one for Rowan to…"
Anne let out a sigh. "Ah, lassie, ye are a good girl."
Sonya smiled & they went back to sewing in silence. Sonya was grateful.
*
Sonya strolled over the grass towards the loch, wondering where time had gone. Days stretched into weeks. Weeks into months. She missed her room & her things, although Rowan offered to fetch them for her. She missed Kerry, Chris, the girls. She missed Ewan very much. She missed Duncan. Who was she fooling? She certainly wasn't fooling herself. She didn't care if he didn't love her…Stopping on the ridge, looking down at the loch she remembered the day Duncan & she were there & she smiled.
"Good memories?"
She started at his voice & his laugh brought a smile to her face.
"Ah, lass, don't fash ye self. Ye looked as white as a ghost."
"Adair. How are you?"
"I am well, Milady. How are ye?"
"I am fine. How is…everyone?"
"They are well."
"Oh…good."
Adair smiled. "Ye sound a bit disappointed."
"Oh, no. No, no. I am very glad everyone is well. I miss everyone very much."
"Well, perhaps ye will return with me then."
"Return?"
"Aye, I will be returning on the morrow. I was here delivering a message."
"Did…?"
"Nay, lass, he did nay come with me."
"Ah."
"Perhaps I shouldn't speak out of turn…" Adair began.
"Please, Adair. Go on." Sonya hoped her eyes would portray just how much she needed Adair to tell her something, anything, about Duncan.
"There was someone when Duncan was just a lad. Ever since then…Well ye are the first woman he has looked at since."
Sonya stood there a moment processing. She knew Duncan said he had never married. Perhaps whatever happened with this woman was why he didn't understand that she really did want to stay at Ronin. He didn't trust. "Thank you for telling me, Adair. I shall never speak of it."
"Thank you Milady."
"Sonya! There ye are," Rowan called with a smile. She smiled back & waved. "Are ye coming for dinner?"
"Oh, yes. Is it that time already? You will be joining us, Adair?"
"Aye, I will."
Sonya took Rowan's arm & they all walked to the hall.
*
"Ye are improving every day, Sonya."
She grinned at Rowan's praise, blocking his blow as he said it. "You think flattery will distract me?"
He grinned. "It would seem I was wrong, lass."
Sonya brought her sword from right to left & hit Rowan's strike away, turning & leveling her sword at him. They stood there breathing hard, looking at each other. He took his hand & pushed the sword away. She grinned & he quickly closed the space between them & pulled her towards him. Sonya was surprised & was taking deep breaths. She wasn't sure if it was from the practice or because he had pulled her to him so quickly. Slowly he lowered his face towards hers & kissed her. It was gentle & slow. It was nice, especially for someone who hadn't been kissed in so long!
When he pulled away he stood there looking at her & her him. There was no teasing, young boy there any more. There wasn't any hint of the player of youth she first met. There was a kind man whom she had over two months to get to know. Maybe this is what marriages lacked where she was from. She trusted him. She respected him. She never did either of those with her own husband. She cared for this man. Then she heard Anne's words echo in her mind. Love will come. Maybe it would. As she looked into his bright green eyes, she felt she could love this man one day. He wasn't ugly that was sure. He had a nicely built body. He had no qualms of showing her things, teaching her things. And he wanted her. Why?
Still in his arms she didn't look away & she whispered, "Why?"
"Why not?"
She laughed. "I can think of a ton of reasons."
"Such as?"
"Well, I was married before."
"Did he die?"
She laughed again. That would have made things too simple. "No, we divorced." Rowan stood there watching Sonya, waiting. "He left me several times," she looked down.
"I will not leave ye, lass." Sonya looked up & her eyes glazed with tears. He pulled her to him kissing her on the side of the head, holding her.
*
"Rowan. Rowan!"
"Aye Angus?"
"What are ye doing with the lass?"
Rowan looked over the chess board at his brother. The look upon his face was serious & Angus was surprised.
"Angus, I wish to marry Sonya." He was asking for Angus' permission.
"And have ye asked her?"
"Not in so many words."
"I saw ye kissing her today."
There was no trace of boyish joking & Angus wasn't sure what to make of it. Was his mother right? Did Sonya have some affect on his little brother's wayward ways? Rowan hadn't left Scotia Castle since he met her. He rode with her, took her on picnics, & taught her to wield a sword, which didn't turn out to be too hard to do. "Are ye going to say something?" Angus asked.
"What do ye wish me to say, brother? Ye saw me kiss the lass. She did'na run away, she did'na ask me to stop, nor did she strike me."
Ah! There was the grin! Angus felt relieved. "Nay, she didn't, but…"
Rowan frowned. "But what?"
"She is nay in love with ye Rowan," he said frankly. It was the one thing they both appreciated, they were always honest with each other.
"I ken that."
"And yet ye are still willing to pursue her?"
"Aye I am. I knew of her feelings for
Duncan before I asked her about courting her."
"So ye think she will stop loving him & start loving ye?"
"It will take time."
"And if she never stops loving him?"
Rowan moved a piece on the board, his brows furrowed. Angus moved a piece & looked back at Rowan.
"I ken not."
"Adair told me Duncan has been in quite a state since he left."
Rowan's face reddened, but he was calm when he responded. "Perhaps then, he should nay have been such a fool as to have left her. He was all the more foolish nay to return as quickly as he could. She is afraid of being left."
Angus looked surprised. Sonya afraid? "And Duncan being in love with her?"
"Is he?" Rowan seemed to genuinely want to know.
"I would say aye. It is quite a quandary, is it not?"
"Then it will be up to the lass in the end, brother." Angus made a move, taking Rowan's knight & Rowan moaned.
"Perhaps it is'na a position ye should place the lassie in. Perhaps it is'na a position ye should put yerself in, brother."
Rowan looked up at his brother. "So, ye think I should let it play out between the lass & Duncan?"
"It is one choice."
"But he is not here. He left her, how can he be in love with her? It is not a choice I think I will make."
"Are ye in love with her?"
"I care a great deal for her."
"Aye, but that is nay hard to do."
"She will make me a grand wife."
"I agree, she would, but I wonder if that is what she really wants."
"Again, it will have to be her choice."
"And if she doesn't choose you, Rowan?"
Rowan let out a big sigh as he pushed his chair back from the table. He was weary of the conversation. "I will have nay a choice, but to accept it, brother."
Angus smiled. "Ye have finally started to grow up, lad. I am very proud of ye."
"What do ye mean started?" Rowan laughed & rose.
"Where are ye off to, our game is nay finished," Angus frowned, pointing at the board.
Rowan grinned. "I am meeting Sonya." When Rowan reached the door he turned back, "Angus?"
"Aye?"
"Thank ye."