by Ryan Casey
“Damn it, you two.” I walked over to them, acting as the intervener. It was nice having two dogs, but it was also hard work. I knew Bouncer, and he knew me. But Rosie was an entirely new entity completely; she provided a new group dynamic.
She soon let me take the stick from her, though, without so much as snapping at me. Then she looked at me with wide, puppy eyes, and a tilted, submissive head.
“There’s plenty more sticks out there for you to enjoy.”
She didn’t understand, clearly. But she let Bouncer have his stick, which of course, he got bored with after he’d won the battle for it. Probably forgot what he was even fighting for all along.
I looked around then, at the endless mass of trees. I tried to listen for signs of life, but all I could hear was the wind blowing against the branches and the tweeting of birds. I stood there, inhaled the cold air, and prayed that I’d find what I was looking for soon enough.
Soon enough fast became “today,” and then “today” soon became “shit, hopefully before dark.” But the longer and further I walked, the more my hope of finding anything or any sign of my wife drifted.
It was when I’d finally given up and started to look for a place to settle for the night that I saw the fence.
It was tall. Twice my height, perhaps. It was made of corrugated steel and definitely looked like it’d been put up before the fall rather than after. The top of the fence was lined with circular barbed wire. Behind it, I saw old industrial units, abandoned offices.
I knew there were no doubt loads of industrial units about. I knew the chances of just stumbling across the right one right away were slim to none.
But there was something different about these industrial estates. There was something that caught my attention and held it. Something that made me whistle to make Bouncer sit, a move that Rosie followed almost immediately after. Something that made me crouch in the grass and squint over into the distance.
Behind the fences, inside the confines of the industrial complex, I could hear the mumble of voices.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Stu swallowed the lump of venison meat and tried not to get too agitated about the missing people from his camp.
It started two days ago with the arrival of another small group. They’d told him they knew about Kerry’s husband—ex-husband, Will. And when they’d revealed Will was still out there and searching for his wife, something had sparked inside Stu. He couldn’t explain what it was, not really. Maybe it was a twinge of jealousy or even a glimmer of rage.
Whatever it was, Stu didn’t like it.
But what he liked even less was the thought that Will might stumble upon this camp and ruin the perfect life he’d created for himself with Kerry here.
“You okay, Stu?”
He looked up from the table. Kerry was sitting opposite him. The room was lit by candlelight, which wasn’t such an absurdity since all electricity was gone. But still, there was such a romance to enjoying dinner with Kerry, accompanied by the flickering glow of a candle. It lit something different in him to the fire that raged at the thought of Will being out there threatening what they had. It ignited the complete opposite emotion.
It made him feel in love.
And he realised, sitting there, venison between his teeth that he’d do anything he could to protect that love.
What person wouldn’t when they had it this good?’
“I’m fine,” Stu said, putting down his knife and fork.
“You don’t seem fine. You seem… distracted.”
Stu put his hands on his stomach and felt the burning acid clawing its way up his oesophagus. “To be honest, I don’t feel great. I feel pretty sick.”
Kerry’s face turned. “You feel sick? Oh shit. I hope it’s not the virus that’s been—”
“It’s not that bad,” Stu said.
“How do you know it isn’t? It could be starting off weak and then—”
“Kerry, please. I just feel a bit rough; that’s all. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”
Kerry lowered her head at that. Part of Stu felt kind of flattered that she cared so much about him. Yet there was something else, too. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
“I just… I can’t lose anyone else,” Kerry said. “Not again. You have to understand that.”
When Kerry looked into Stu’s eyes, this time, he felt a different kind of emotion. Instead of the love he’d felt just moments ago, he felt concern. Was that all he was to her? Just a someone to make sure she wasn’t alone in this world? Because that was harsh on him. He loved her. He treasured her.
Was he just someone to keep the side of the bed warm at night?
To—
A knock on the door interrupted Stu’s racing thoughts, much to his relief, admittedly.
“Sorry,” he said, standing. “I’ll be back in a sec. I’ll just get this.”
There was still that glazed look in Kerry’s eyes, but there would be a time and a place to deal with that problem.
He walked over to the door and opened it.
Carter was standing there.
“Something wrong?” Stu asked. There was a reason for that. Carter was usually the guy who came to him when there was a problem. Not that problem-finding was his profession or his role or anything like that. It’s just the way things played out.
Carter looked particularly paled as he stood there, his skinny, lanky frame towering over Stu’s. “Not so much something. But there’s… there’s someone here.”
At first, Stu thought that maybe the group he’d sent off to kill Will were back. That they’d brought his head back as proof that the deed was done.
And then he realised he was wrong. Just knowledge. One of those psychic moments where in the space of a second, he understood exactly what this was and exactly what was happening; who had been found.
“Will,” he muttered under his breath.
“Walked right up to the fences,” Carter said. “Two dogs by his side.”
“Have you got him?”
“He’s in our sights. But it looks like he’s watching us. Waiting to make a move.”
A bitter taste filled Stu’s mouth. Rapidly, it felt like every Jenga block of reality was tumbling apart.
“Hailey’s got eyes on him. She can take a shot. She can end this whole thing right away and be done with it.”
Stu pictured that possibility, and he had to admit it made him feel better. No questions asked. Kerry would never know her husband had been out there and looking for her. What you didn’t know made you stronger, and all that.
“Stu? You okay out there? Oh, hi Carter. Everything good?”
Stu heard Kerry’s voice, and the image of putting Will—this tyrant who he’d still never met—out of his misery disappeared. He imagined the pain that Kerry would feel if she knew what he’d done, and what he was capable of. And the dog, too. He knew Kerry had a dog called Bouncer that she was very attached to, and who she missed a lot. Could Stu really be capable of an evil act like putting them down? Was that the man he wanted to be? Did he really want to live with that on his conscience?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Yes.
“I’ll just be a sec,” Stu said to Kerry, keeping his eyes on Carter.
“I’m starting to get a bit wor—”
“Kerry. I’ll just be a sec.”
He didn’t like raising his voice to her. He didn’t want her to know about the other side to his personality. He was hoping that side had died along with the electricity. Darkness dying alongside the light.
Kerry raised her eyebrows, clearly taken aback. “Okay. Clearly, everything isn’t fine. But hey. I know my place.”
“Kerry, I’m sorry.”
“Apologise when you’re done here,” she said. Then she stepped back inside and left Stu and Carter alone.
“I’m sorry, Stu,” Carter said, breaking the awkward silence between the pair. “Sorry for bringing this to you
like this. I know it can’t be—”
“You have a clean shot, did you say?”
Carter scratched his head. “Well, clean enough. Can’t promise Hailey’s still got eyes on him. And we’re gonna have to act fast. If that’s what you want to do.”
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Yes…
Yes?
He gritted his teeth and thought of Kerry. He thought of the way he felt about her. Of everything they had.
Yes.
And then he thought about the sense of betrayal there’d be if ever she found out what he’d done.
“No,” he said.
Carter narrowed his eyes. “You… you don’t want us to shoot him?”
Stu swallowed a lump in his throat. “Bring him in. I want to meet him. I want to figure out what to do with him. Face to face.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
As darkness fell, I knew I had to make my move.
I looked at the fences towering above me in the distance. They weren’t massive—about twice my height, as I’d noted already. But just seeing them and hearing the life behind them gave them an even larger feel.
I felt like they had eyes, and that they were watching me, monitoring my every move…
I swallowed a lump in my throat and all the possibilities of what might happen next welled up. What did I do? Go storming inside there and demand my wife was handed over? No. That’d be stupid. Suicide, even. I had to be clever. Crafty. I had to wait until it was even darker, and then I had to find a weakness in the fence and work my way inside.
Once I was inside, I could truly begin my search for Kerry.
As I sat there, though, shaking through a combination of the cold and the nerves, I saw the holes in my own plan. How would I know where to find Kerry? How did I even know for certain she was here?
How did I know she’d still be alive?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I’d fought so hard to get this far. I couldn’t let my fears get in the way, not now.
Besides, I could feel myself getting closer to Kerry. I couldn’t explain it. But it’d always been there. Even when we used to go camping and played stupid hide and seek games with one another in the woods when we were younger. There was a magnetism to each other. We could feel each other getting closer.
Of course, I didn’t totally believe in all that stuff. But I had faith, and as far as I could see, faith had got me this far, so it wasn’t such a bad ally to have on side.
Now I needed to respect that faith and make my final moves.
I turned around, looked at Bouncer and Rosie, and I felt my stomach drop.
I knew they couldn’t come with me. It would be too dangerous for them. In a way, I’d been selfish bringing Bouncer along in the first place. I was doing it for myself because I didn’t know what I’d do without his company. It was bad enough being apart from Olivia for so long. Whatever they were doing back at the barracks, I hoped they were okay, and I hoped Olivia would forgive me for disappearing like this. I hoped everyone at the barracks would.
“Bouncer,” I said, walking over to him and stroking his head. “Hey. Listen, boy. Listen. You’re gonna have to wait here. You’re gonna have to—”
I was interrupted from speaking by Bouncer licking my face. I could tell from the way his eyes were looking at me that he knew I was planning on going away. He’d looked at me the same way when Kerry and I separated—like I was abandoning him, betraying him.
Rosie soon joined in, although a little more nervously, and I couldn’t help letting them show their affection for me. I fell back to the ground and laughed. “Alright, alright. That’s enough. Serious, now. You’re gonna have to go. Both of you. You’re… you’re gonna have to go while I do something important.”
I got up. The pair of them looked at me, ears raised, tilting their heads either side like they were trying to understand.
“Go on,” I said pointing into the distance as tears began to build up. “Shoo. Off you go. Don’t—don’t make this harder than it already is.”
Bouncer didn’t move. Neither did Rosie. They just looked at me like they didn’t recognise me. Like I wasn’t the person they thought I was all along.
“Bouncer, please,” I said. “Don’t make me tie you up. Don’t make me tie either of you up.”
Bouncer stayed put, still. But I could see from the look in his eyes that he understood things were changing. That the dynamic between us was transforming.
“You two go off and live your lives. Make some nice puppies. Or… or wait for me. Wait for me if you can. Just… please. You can’t come with me. I can’t lose you.”
I started to back away.
Bouncer made a couple of steps.
“No,” I said. “Stay.”
I walked back again.
And again, Bouncer followed with Rosie not much further behind.
It took a few more steps for Bouncer to finally stop moving, while I kept on going.
As I got further away from him, the disappointed, confused look on his face, I’d never felt so sick in my life. So capable of betrayal. So guilty.
I didn’t feel that guilt for long.
I couldn’t.
Because seconds later, someone wrapped a sack over my head and dragged me off into the unknown.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick out. I wanted to fight.
But I couldn’t.
I sat upright against a solid wall. I was in total darkness. At least, it seemed like I was in total darkness. I had a sack over my head, so it was impossible to be totally certain. But it certainly felt like I was in the dark, wherever this place was.
I felt so alone without Bouncer and Rosie nearby. I hoped they were okay. I felt sick to the stomach when I thought of them out there, all alone. Shit. That was my stupid doing. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve known a populated place would be guarded and watched. My naivety had caught me out, and now I was paying for it.
I could hear Kesha’s voice ringing through my mind, telling me to trust other people. Once again, I hadn’t shown any level of trust, as much as I realised that lack of trust had been holding me back for a long time now. Instead of walking up to the gates of that place, hands above my head, offering nothing but peace and curiosity, I’d been shifty. And that shiftiness had caught up with me.
However, all things said and done, there was one positive spark in all of this.
If there really was a human presence behind those walls, then there really was a chance that Kerry was alive behind them.
I had to keep on clinging to that hope of bringing my family back together.
I kept as still as I could and listened for a sound. There was nothing but the sound of water dripping on the floor somewhere to my right. My lips were chapped. After I’d had the sack tightened around my head, someone had managed to stuff something up the front of it and into my mouth, keeping me as quiet as they could. It tasted like a damp old sock. It probably was a damp old sock.
I knew I couldn’t sit around here forever. But my arms were tied behind my back, attached to some kind of pole. I didn’t stand much chance getting out of here, as much as I wanted to. And even if I did manage to untie myself somehow, I’d probably still be locked in this room, and even then I’d still be trapped inside this industrial complex, somehow.
But despite all that self-talk telling me to resist, I knew for a fact I couldn’t give up without trying.
I tried to raise my arms upwards, to the point that my shoulder blades felt on the verge of cracking. The tension and the pain were intense. I’d never dislocated my shoulders before. I think I’d heard a rumour that some people could twist their shoulders up and over in that way, but I didn’t know if I could. And even so, I didn’t even think there was anywhere I could raise my arms over on this pipe anyway. I was stuffed, to put it nicely.
Still, I kept on trying. I kept on raising my arms to that threshold of pain, gritt
ing my teeth together, hoping that by some miracle I could free myself from this face and get this bloody sack off my head in the process.
I heard a crack. And for a moment, I wondered if I’d done it; if I’d somehow snapped my shoulders in two.
Then I realised the crack wasn’t a crack at all.
It was the sound of a door opening at the other side of the room.
I dropped back down as quickly as I could. Wasn’t sure why, just that I didn’t know who I was up against, so I didn’t want to risk getting myself killed for attempting escape. I needed to be alive, for Kerry.
I heard heavy footsteps traipsing towards me. My heart started to pound. I wanted to speak, but even if the smelly sock wasn’t stuffed between my lips, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to.
All I could do was listen as those footsteps thumped closer.
After a short while, they stopped. There was total silence in this room. And in that silence, I wondered if maybe I was all alone again.
Then I felt tension above my head as someone dragged away the sack.
I narrowed my eyes and squinted. I was surprised to see a glimmer of daylight peeking through the door behind the man. I must’ve been in here much longer than I’d thought.
My eyes refocused as the man crouched opposite me.
He was well-built, muscular, with dark curly hair and pockmarked skin. He looked pretty good looking like he might’ve been a personal trainer or something like that, once upon a time.
He looked into my eyes with twitching eyelids, studying me with a silent curiosity like I was some kind of lab rat.
I tried to speak, but the sock was still in my way. The man didn’t seem to register I was trying to speak at first. When he did, he moved his hand towards my face. For a moment, I half-expected him to punch me.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he pulled the sock from my mouth and threw it to the floor.
I could see the door behind him was open, creaking a little in the breeze. I knew I could probably shout out and make some kind of a scene. But he didn’t seem to mind. And if he did mind, he certainly wasn’t showing it.
The silence between us stretched on for longer until eventually, I could only say one thing.