by Margot Fox
He nodded, holding Tesa back, only letting her advance one small step at a time.
“It sounds like it, but that’s not exactly it either. Rose and Stark have been together for a very long time. Somehow she was unattended for a period, and a wraith…” Gunner’s voice choked off with emotion. Tesa waited, watching the memories flit across his features as he tried to regain control.
“When Stark found her, she was nearly gone, practically in pieces,” he shuddered, drawing a huge breath and steadying his voice. “And Stark just… He did everything he could. He gave her his blood. Far, far too much. And still it was not enough.
“Rose recovered somewhat, but has never been whole. And as Stark continues to need her blood, and she needs his… They’re both…”
Gunner turned to Tesa, his eyes shining in the dim light from the hallway. Tesa could see the pain and exhaustion etched on his face as yet another veil fell away and there he was, plainly hurting. Reflexively, she laid her hand across his chest and he immediately covered it with his own, pressing her palm to his heart.
“So, what has to be done?” Tesa asked, her voice quavering.
Gunner sighed deeply. “If Rose has any chance, she needs clean blood. If Stark has any chance, he needs Rose . You, Tesa… we think your blood can restore her.”
“But… You said I was here for you ?” she asked in a whisper.
“You’ll need to be stronger,” he said softly. “I’ll need to make you stronger.”
Tesa stared at Gunner, sensing his overwhelming pain at the impending loss of Stark… of Rose… and the awareness dawned on her.
“Stronger?” she said meekly. “Stronger? As in…”
He nodded, meeting her eyes again. His lips were pressed together in a thin line. “You’ll need my blood, Tesa. I’m sorry. I wish there was another way.”
Tesa backed away, her feet feeling blindly along the dark stone floor.
Gunner reached for her hand urgently. “Tesa, I know how frightening that sounds, and I would have waited… I would have waited years if that’s what it took. In all honesty, years sounded perfectly appropriate to me. But after seeing Stark tonight… Tesa, he’s worse than he’s letting on. Much worse than he has been telling me. And if you’re right here under this roof, he will lose control of himself. Ultimately he will return to the monster that he… that we are, underneath.”
Tesa held his hand, feeling the cool, strong fingers. He felt like a lifeline, holding her to reality. How could any of this be true? It sounded perfectly ridiculous, like the sort of stories she was used to getting from guys who just wanted to get their hands onto her. But those guys were talking about sex. What Gunner was talking about…
The sounds behind the curtain began to get louder. Tesa heard someone breathing heavily, panting quickly like a dog. Strange mewling noises were laid over that that sounded human, and not. Whatever it was, it sounded like pain.
Tesa began to walk toward the curtain, and Gunner let her hand slip from his. She felt him just inches behind her. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw a figure behind the veil, crouched in the middle of the mattress.
Pulling aside one layer and then another, Tesa tried to still the pounding of her heart. The figure didn’t seem to acknowledge her as she brushed aside the flimsy cottony veils, at last.
Tesa leaned forward at the waist, unsure of what she was seeing. Gunner placed a protective hand on her hip. A woman knelt in the middle of the bed, breathing rapidly, heavily. She had long, dark hair that hung in tangles almost to the bedsheets, falling over her face.
Her shoulders heaved with every breath, and her hands clawed into the mattress. As Tesa’s eyes adjusted she saw that what she assumed was a shawl was black, caked blood that had dried over the woman’s shoulders.
A sound rose from her chest, the same mewl that Tesa had heard from the doorway. The woman raised her head, letting her hair fall back from her face. She opened her toothless mouth unevenly and the plaintive cry poured out, followed by a retching, coughing black ribbons of blood over the sheets.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Gunner muttered and picked up a linen towel from the end of the bed. He wiped the spray gently from Tesa’s collarbones.
She didn’t notice. She felt as though she was moving through quicksand, unsure if she urgently needed to run toward or away from what she was seeing. Such raw agony… she wanted to wrap the woman in her arms and rock her.
Unbidden, Tesa felt her arm reach out… offering solace…
Suddenly, the woman’s hand shot out. She sprang from her crouch to the edge of the bed, curling her claw-like fingers around Tesa’s wrist. Tesa squashed the terror in her chest.
“She won’t hurt you. She won’t,” Gunner whispered urgently in her ear.
Tesa tried to find comfort in his words as the first glimmers of Rose’s blood-red eyes appeared under the bushy tangle of her hair. Rose raised her chin, cocking her head as though blind, as though smelling Tesa’s presence.
She worked her jaw back and forth, back and forth. A bubble of gore broke on her lower lip.
“Tesssssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” the woman hissed.
Tesa’s eyes flew wide in alarm. Before she knew it, she had brushed the hair back from the hag’s face and was trying desperately to not believe what she saw.
But it was real.
Tesa snatched her arm away and stumbled backward. Gunner moved back with her, his hands on her waist, supporting her.
“Take me—” she muttered hysterically. “Now. I want to go NOW!”
Without another word, Gunner lifted her off her feet and ran like lightning back to her room. They stood in the darkness for long minutes, Tesa curled in Gunner’s arms like a child. He wrapped his steel-bar-like arms and held her solidly as she fought to understand what she had just seen.
It was impossible. But it was true. Despite the swirling drugged feeling Gunner had flooded her with, the truth of the situation rang through like a bell in the fog. And what she knew she had to do.
CHAPTER 12
“Put me down,” she said finally. Her voice was low and calm. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“You tricked me,” she said.
He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. That was not a trick. I wanted you to know you could leave. I would take you… anywhere. Anywhere, Tesa.”
She chewed the inside of her lip, hard. “You knew I wouldn’t leave after that. You knew… That’s my mother. ”
He nodded.
“All this time my mother has been… locked in your basement??”
“No, Tesa, it’s not like that. Stark and Rose… they’re devoted to each other. Why do you think Stark is… He could have had anyone. Anyone at the party…”
“Would that work?”
“Well, it would only slow it down. It would buy him time… but he is just giving his life away. For her.”
“Why?” she spat the word like it was poison.
He held his empty hands out helplessly. “Because he loves her.”
“That’s not love, Gunner! That is…”
“It’s love, Tesa. It is,” he said softly. She could see the sorrow in his eyes and her will to fight with him faltered.
Losing strength, Tesa crumpled to the floor, burying her fingers in the thick white shag. She let the confusion and despair wash over her like a tide. Where had her mother been? She hadn’t seen her in how many years? Fifteen? A dozen years, at least it had to be. How could she…
“I have to stay,” Tesa whimpered into the carpeting.
Gunner came and sat beside her, stroking her shoulder blades sympathetically. He said nothing. She believed he really would have let her go, just as much as she knew he understood that she couldn’t. Not now. But if she really could heal her… Then soon.
Finally she drew herself up to sitting, brushing her hair back defiantly from her face.
“Fine. Tell me what to do,” she said fiercely.
He shook his head. “You�
�re not strong enough yet. You saw her.”
She had seen her — seen the trembling, filthy hag that had once been her splendid, singing, laughing mother.
“Then, make me strong.”
“Tesa—”
“Gunner, please don’t tell me there’s more I don’t know… or there’s more to the story… or there’s another catch or whatever. I don’t care if it hurts. Make. Me. Strong.”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
Some part of her was relieved, but she didn’t let on. “I said I don’t care.”
“It will… change you.”
“Seriously, Gunner, don’t make me repeat myself.”
“It will change both of us.”
Tesa looked closely at him in the dim light. He seemed almost sheepish.
“I wanted to woo you, first,” he explained softly.
“ You wanted to woo me? Seriously did you just say that?”
He smiled and shrugged slightly. “Courtship can be fun, you know.”
The idea would not compute. She stared at him with her mouth open. “Well just so you know, you weren’t making it fun.”
He chuckled. “ I was having a great time.”
Tesa punched him lightly on the shoulder, grateful for the levity. It felt like punching a steel girder.
“Okay come on,” he sighed, standing.
He held out his hand for hers, but then just leaned over and scooped her off the floor in his arms. She gasped as he laid her on top of the coverlet, demurely rearranging her nightgown back over her thighs. Then he slid in next to her, holding himself up on one elbow.
“This is very abrupt,” he murmured, brushing strands of hair away from her forehead with his fingertips. Tesa felt her pulse quicken and swallowed hard. Her mouth had suddenly gone completely dry. For courage, she found the memory of her mother in her mind and held it still, like a snapshot.
My splendid, beautiful mother. I have to do this. I no longer have a choice.
Gunner withdrew. “Are you sure?” he said softly. She nodded uncertainly.
He sat up and unbuttoned his shirt, never losing eye contact. His expression was intense, but kind. Tesa tried not to stare as he pulled his shoulders then arms from the sleeves, baring his magnificent, muscled torso. Every line on him looked like it belonged on a marble statue in a museum.
The old nausea came back to her in a rush: the gory images, the fear. The hot, thick blood that she wanted so much to avoid spilling even a drop of. The terror at being eaten… at eating….
I have to , she scolded herself. There’s only me. I need to do this!
Settling back next to her, Gunner paused and stared into her eyes as though memorizing her face. Tesa breathed as evenly as she could and savored the anticipation.
Raising an arm in front of him, Gunner opened his mouth. With a tiny sound, the fangs snapped into place. Tesa gasped in alarm, then bit her lip, trying to find courage. His fangs were twice the length of the rest of his teeth, gleaming like ivory. They were absolutely smooth and porcelain, rounded at the front and tapering to a deadly, needle-sharp point.
He waited while she caught her breath, then raised the crook of his arm to his mouth. The skin made a muted pop as his fangs broke through the vein cleanly, then he drew his head back. Tesa’s eyes went wide with fright as she looked at the red-black smear of blood over his mouth.
Gunner wiped his lips thoughtfully, moving with slow deliberation. Blood poured in two red ribbons over his skin from the puncture wounds.
“I need you to drink this,” he said.
“Wh- what?” she asked, suddenly afraid.
“Well, you just… here, let me help you…” He brought his arm down nearer to her mouth. Tesa felt drops of hot blood splatter on her collarbones and slide over her shoulders. She shook her head. Her mind filled with a confused roar and her thoughts turned bloody, desperate, chaotic.
Her jaw clamped shut. Everything in her screamed for her to get up, to run, to fling herself through every doorway until she found a way out. It was her worst nightmare: the dream where things ate each other blindly, all mouths and tongues and torn flesh.
But here it was, and it was real.
No! She screamed at herself, trying to rise above the tide of terror in her heart. Think of her! Think of the plaid dress… Think of the mirror! Think of only her!
Gunner did not move, only stared at her patiently, kindly. He slowed his breathing and waited.
Finally she swallowed, hard, and opened her lips. Watching his eyes for strength, she panted as he drew his arm up over her chin and found her mouth.
The first drops slipped over her bottom lip like black honey. She could feel the warm trickle seep across her lower teeth. The taste was salty, and too hot. She thought frantically for a moment that it might burn her, but the sensation passed almost immediately.
Opening her mouth wider, Tesa tried to breathe through her nose as slowly as she could. Every part of her was screaming at her to run away. A chorus of voices erupted in her head demanding that she dash for the door.
To fight them off, she found another memory of her mother, long buried. They sat primly on a scratchy plaid sofa together, dressed in matching cocktail gowns. Her mother wore an emerald silk hat with a short veil. As she gazed at her mother in wonder at her poise and beauty, Rose turned to her quickly and gave her a quick, impish wink. Then she sat straight and stared again, like it had never happened. Like it was a dream.
Tesa kept the image of that wink fixed in her mind, playing it over and over again like a video loop, and opened her mouth wider. Blood poured over her tongue as she closed her lips over the wound and sucked. Salty, hot gouts of thick liquid filled her mouth too quickly for her to swallow and she feared she might choke.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “Go slow. It’s all right.”
Tesa struggled to keep her eyes open as she sucked the life blood from Gunner, trying to swallow as fast as it filled her. Soon the first splashes were in her stomach and… she could feel something.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Yes.”
A warmth began in her belly, a red-orange glow. She saw it swirling in her mind. It sloshed around her as though she were an empty vessel, filling suddenly with wine or sea water.
Every cell of her began to cry out at once for the touch of the blood. Gunner nodded vigorously. “Okay, okay,” he cautioned, “Just slow down, a little…. OH!”
But she could not slow down. The glow ran through her, staining every cell with this light. She felt something monumentally shift within her. The glow seemed to seep out of her, trailing over the blankets, then the floor, then the walls in a neon smear of pulsing life.
Suddenly, she released his arm, sitting up and looking all around the room. She could see everything as though it were lit from within. Tiny trails of light coursed over everything, connecting everything in the room to each other, and to her. She could see every mote of dust as it pirouetted in the air. She could see every tuft of fibre in the carpet, individually. Listening closely, she heard every vampire and human at the party, and each note of the song the band was playing.
“Just The Two Of Us.”
“What?”
“The song… in the garden. They’re playing ‘Just The Two Of Us.’”
“Oh,” he said. “Bill Withers, right. I hear it.”
“You hear it?” she marvelled. “Is this what it’s like for you? Always?”
“Maybe?” he said dotingly. She could see the pleasure in his eyes. “Do you like it?”
She thought for a moment, listening to the heartbeats of individuals, to the sound of them swallowing, to their passions rising and falling.
“I think I do,” she breathed. Her whole body was on fire, but she felt no fear. There was power in it. Every cell was a tiny flame in her body.
She turned and looked at Gunner, seeing him intensely. She could see every hair, every curving eyelash, every pore of his smooth skin. She drank in his surface like reading a
book. She realized she was smiling… grinning.
“You’re… beautiful,” she said wonderingly. He pulsed red, she could see it now. He glowed intensely like the coal of a fire.
And she found she wanted him, badly. Worse than she had ever wanted anything in her life. Her belly screamed his name. Her skin felt flayed, demanding his touch, but at the same time it began to feel like she was being burned alive.
Suddenly his expression clouded. “Okay, lie down,” he said gently. “Just wait.”
Gunner slipped from the bed, returning in moments with a porcelain basin and a pile of linen towels. He dipped the towels in one by one and covered her forehead and bare shoulders.
Tesa tried to lie still but found herself shuddering uncontrollably. The racing flame that filled her left icy winds in its wake, replaced by brushfire after brushfire. He took a towel and stroked her forehead, planting delicate kisses along her brow.
“That was… unexpected.”
“Did I do it right?” she asked through chattering teeth.
He chuckled. “You were wonderful. Truly.”
Tesa looked at him and saw the twinkle of pride in his eye. Pride and… she could feel him too. She could feel his desire.
“Gunner,” she whispered.
“Shhhh,” he said. “This will pass shortly.”
“Yes,” she said, pulling the cloth from her head and dropping it to the floor. The chills and racing heat had already begun to subside, leaving a feeling like a tide that kept washing across a beach: motion, seesawing, but not painful. She felt blissfully aware and alive.
Tesa looked at Gunner with gratitude, trying to pour a complicated set of thrilling emotions into her mind all at once. He seemed to hear her… or sense her feelings. He nodded silently.
“I want you to kiss me now.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Our bargain. I am yours… and I want you to kiss me.”
Gunner leaned in, pushing her hair back. He held her cheek in his hand. As she stared at him, tiny rivers of blood flowed through him on illuminated trails. She saw all the interconnected web of life in him, and wanted… needed to possess it.
In his eyes she could see the interlocking striations of muscle as his pupils dilated. She raised her chin, bringing her lips a hair’s breadth from his.