by Cindy Wilder
I took a deep breath before I continued.
“You have rules for every single thing I do. Don't you have any rules that say you should wait longer than five minutes to move on?”
“Your father has been gone for over a year. Jack is a good man. He treats me very good. You need to stop being selfish, Sarah,” she snapped.
I took a deep breath but said nothing.
“His son will be here for Thanksgiving as well. That way, you two can meet ahead of time,” she said.
“I won't be there for Thanksgiving,” I yelled not thinking about where I was. “I'm going to see my grandparents.”
“I know this is hard for you, but he's a good man.”
“I know he is. It has nothing to do with that. I just feel like you don't even care that dad is gone. You two seemed so happy. He was amazing. I can't believe you have forgotten him so quickly. I have to go. I need to think.”
“Just try for me, please.”
“I'll come for Christmas and play the whole happy family thing. Goodbye.”
When I ended the call, I looked down at my hand around my cup. I couldn't believe it was really happening. She met Jack right before I graduated. They had only dated for six months. How could she be ready to marry him, I thought? I didn't notice the tears falling from my eyes until one landed on my hand. When I reached up to wipe my sleeve across my face, I saw someone standing in front of me.
“Can I sit down?” he asked.
Are you serious, I thought? The one time in two months I run into him outside of his classroom, I had to be bawling alone in a coffee shop. Great! Without a word, I motioned to the seat across from me. He sat down with a coffee in his hand. I didn't want to look up at him. Nothing was going to be better if I did.
“You want to talk about it?” he asked.
“No thank you, Mr. Jones,” I whispered.
He stood up and came over to my side of the booth.
“Move over,” he said.
I sat still, so he sat down and pushed my body across the bench. He needed to stop touching me. It didn't help anything when he did.
“What's going on?” he asked.
I still had tears sliding down my cheeks. Again, I wiped them with the sleeve of the sweatshirt I was wearing. He didn't mention the fact that it was his.
“Just some personal stuff going on at home,” I said. “Some stuff with my mom.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“No,” I answered honestly.
“Come with me,” he said, as he scooted across the bench.
“Where?” I asked.
“My place,” he said. “We need to talk.”
“No,” I said. “Thank you, Mr. Jones, but I can't do that.”
“Stop calling me that, Sarah,” he said. “Why can't you?”
“It's just not a good idea for me. I'm having a hard enough time right now. Being at your place is only going to make it worse.”
He looked at me with concern in his eyes. Of course, he had no idea what I was talking about. To him, I was just one night on a long list of them. To me, he was something completely different. He stood up and motioned for me to get out of the booth. I didn't move.
“Up,” he said. “Now.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up. He walked out the door and started to walk down the sidewalk.
“I walked here,” he said. “We can walk for now. I'll drive you back to your dorm later.”
“I can't have you dropping me off in front of my dorm. Those two bitches that sit in front of me in your class will probably see me. I can't get kicked out of college.”
He let out a small laugh. It was the best thing I had heard in over two months. We began the walk to his place.
“What do you have against those girls?” he asked.
“If I have to hear how hot you are one more time, I'm going knock the shit out of them. They even talk about how good you'd be in bed. At least I know they aren't on your one night stand list,” I said.
“My what?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“What about the guy that sits next to you? You don't seem to mind him leaning over talking the whole class period. He'll be lucky if I don't fail his ass.”
I stopped and looked over at him, but he just kept on walking. When he opened the door to an apartment complex, I followed him in. He didn't even hold the door for me.
We walked into his apartment. It was actually very nice. You could definitely tell a guy lived there. He had nice, new looking furniture and a very large television hung on the wall. There wasn't much color to the place.
“Do you want some coffee or a soda?” he asked.
“If you have coffee, why did you go to the coffee shop?” I asked in return.
He ignored my question and walked into his kitchen.
“A soda sounds good,” I said. “Do you live here alone?”
Smooth, I thought. Way to ask him if he's single.
“I do,” he answered.
“Nice place,” I said. “Much better than last year.”
I'm sure he heard the humor in my voice. The frat house was definitely a different experience.
“Funny,” he said, as he walked back into the room.
“It really is nice. I have to admit, you're not such a bad teacher. I wanted you to be awful, but you're actually very good. Everyone seems like you. Some people more than others.”
“Who doesn't like me?” he asked.
“The guy that sits next to me,” I said with a laugh.
“I bet,” he said. “What does he say about me?”
“He said that all the girls in the class aren't listening to you. They're just quiet because you're hot and they are watching every move you make.”
“Is that true?” Alex asked. “Are you quiet because of my good looks, or is it for my brains?”
I burst into laughter.
“That's not a question I'm willing to answer.”
He sat down next to me on the couch. I kicked off my running shoes and lifted my feet up under my legs. Why was he sitting so close? I could feel his body heat, and it made me shiver.
“Are you cold?” You have that very nice sweatshirt on.”
“No,” I answered. “I'm fine.
“So, what was that all about back at the coffee shop?”
“My mom called me. I'm having a hard time with certain things. She's not making it easy on me,” I said.
“What are you having a hard time with?” he asked.
“She's hard on me. I am expected to be the perfect student and an even more perfect daughter. She has never let me make a single decision about my life. I wasn't able to go out much during high school. Instead, I was expected to study on the weekends. It wasn't easy. In no way was it okay for me to ever do anything to embarrass her. I followed her orders every single day. There was only one time in my four years of high school that I did something she wouldn't have approved of.”
He nodded without speaking a word. I grabbed a pillow that was on his couch and hugged it to my chest. That way there was something between us. His smell was driving me crazy. I don't know why I wanted to jump across the space and straddle him. He was the only person I ever reacted to in that way.
“My point is that I've been the almost perfect daughter. She doesn't know about that day. So, she should see me as perfect. What pisses me off is that she doesn't follow the same rules. She can do whatever she wants, and I'm not supposed to have an opinion about it. I think she's doing something stupid, but she won't listen to me at all.”
“What did she do that you think is wrong?” he asked.
“My dad passed away. He was killed in an accident. It had been almost a year, and she was already dating someone. I met the guy. He's nice and everything. It's not that I don't like him. I just think that she should have waited longer. She was supposed to love my dad. They were the perfect couple. How could she move on that quickly? If something happened to the man I loved, I would be devastated. It's l
ike she didn't even miss him.
I left for school. She calls to check up on me here and there, but I hadn't heard a single thing about them. Today, she calls me and drops a huge bomb. She's fucking marrying the guy. I mean, what the hell? They haven't even been dating for six months yet. She expects me to go to the wedding, meet his douchebag son, and play the whole happy family for all of her friends. I don't think I can do it. She was all excited that I'll have a stepbrother. No, I won't. I'm eighteen years old. I don't know what's wrong with her. I have a dad, and I have no siblings.”
“What did you tell her?” he asked.
“I told her I would go to the wedding and fake the funk, but that by no means was I happy. I don't think she cares. She just wants all of her friends to think we're all happy. If I do go, I'll be out of there as soon as I can be. She expects me to live in his house during the summer. I'm not sure I can disrespect my dad like that. Are your parents together?”
His face had a concerned look before. As soon as I asked about his parents, the look on his face changed. I had never seen anything like it. He looked like someone punched him in the stomach. I watched as his head went down into his hands. It took a moment before he spoke.
“My mom died two years ago from cancer,” he said.
Without thinking, I dropped the pillow, crossed the little space between us, and had my hand on his knee in seconds.
“I'm so sorry, Alex,” I said, as I rubbed his leg.
“She was sick for almost two years. I wanted to quit school and go home, but she wouldn't let me. When she passed away, I felt horrible for not being home. I could have been with her for the last two years, but I wasn't there. I couldn't go back home after that. It was too hard to be in the house. I put my all into my last two years of school. It was all for her. I had to finish at the top of my class. It felt like she deserved that since I had missed out on being with her.”
I felt so bad for what he was saying. My dad left for work and never came home. I can't imagine watching someone suffer, or not being there when you knew they would be gone before long. He sat quiet for a moment. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I stay quiet, or should I say something? That was probably how people had felt with me about my dad. It was strange being on the other side.
I couldn't take it anymore. I took his face in my hands and turned him toward me.
“Your mom would be so proud of you right now. Look at you. You're an amazing teacher. I learn something new every time I walk into your class. You have a beautiful apartment. Do you have any siblings?”
He shook his head no.
“What about your dad?” I asked.
“We talk once every few weeks. I think things have been just as hard on him. He had to watch her suffer. We don't communicate very well. I don't like to be at the house, and he doesn't come here to visit either.”
My mom was a pain-in-the-ass, but at least she was there. I almost felt bad for being so short with her.
“I know what you mean,” he said. “I'm not sure how I would take it if my dad got married again, and she's been gone longer than your dad has.”
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. He let his body lean back against the couch. I felt his arm go around me, but I couldn't move away. He felt good, and I felt so comfortable. Neither of us said a word for what felt like hours. Honestly, I didn't want the moment to end.
“Are you hungry?” he whispered.
Neither of us had eaten since his class was over. I was starving.
“Pizza or Chinese?” he asked.
“I'll just go back to the dorm and eat. I can't afford to eat out,” I said, as I pushed myself off of him and stood up.
He grabbed my hands in his and pulled me back to him.
“My treat,” he said with a smile. “I'm such a good teacher and all. I think I can spring for dinner.”
“Very funny,” I said.
We ended up having a pizza delivered. He picked the movie since I picked at the party months ago. It was an action movie, and I actually liked it. It had me jumping and moving with the characters on the screen. I may have yelled out for them to run a few times. We had a nice time. I sat next to him the entire time, but we never did anything. It felt like I actually had a friend. I must admit, it felt pretty good.
Of course, I wanted to rip his clothes off so many times. When our skin brushed together, I felt like I was going to explode. There was no way anything was going to happen between us. He was my teacher. I couldn't risk my grade in his class if something went wrong between us.
It was getting late and the movie had ended. I knew it was time for me to leave. He offered to drive me back, but I decided to call a cab instead. It wouldn't cost much, and I didn't want to risk someone seeing me with one of my teachers. That would never be good.
I thanked him for the pizza and hugged him goodbye.
Class the following Friday went smoothly. Neither of us acted strange or anything. The guy next to me leaned toward me and began to talk during the class. I looked up to see Alex staring a hole through him and laughed. He must have seen me, because I saw a smirk cross his face. Two minutes later the guy said something to me again.
“Excuse me,” Alex said to him. “If you are going to constantly interrupt my class to talk, maybe you should leave.”
The look on the guy's face was priceless. His smile disappeared, and all the color drained from his face. He began apologizing and scooted to the other side of his chair. I shook my head and laughed. The girls in front of me laughed, and I could hear them talking about how hot Mr. Jones was. I leaned forward, and whispered in their ears.
“I heard from one girl that he was horrible in bed.”
I heard them both gasp. Alex looked up at me, and I smiled brightly as I shrugged my shoulders.
When class was over, I left as quickly as I could. Not fast enough unfortunately. The leaner that sits next to me was on my heels.
“How about dinner tonight?” he asked.
I looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway of the class staring at us. The guy couldn't see him because he was facing me. I rolled my eyes. The two chatty girls walked out and giggled as they looked over at Alex. I couldn't help but burst into laughter. The guy standing with me looked confused.
“I can't tonight,” I said. “I'm sorry. I have so much studying to do.”
I turned and quickly walked away.
The weekend and following week flew by. I hadn't called my grandparents about Thanksgiving. Maybe I should go home and give Jack a chance, I thought. I really didn't feel like meeting his son. I was still unsure of what I was going to do for the holiday and it was only a week away.
I sat waiting for Alex to start class. The guy next to me hadn't shown up yet. It was nice. I pulled out my phone and checked my messages to see if Sally sent anything. We were slowly breaking away from each other. Maybe once we were both home for the summer it would go back to normal. I knew she was living up the college life. She was probably doing more partying than studying. I was just finishing a message to her when Alex started talking. His scent filled the air before I saw him coming. He snatched my phone from my hand and walked back to the front of the class. I let out a sigh and got my book out. He never said a word in front of the class, but I knew they all got the hint to make sure their phones were put away. You should have seen them scramble. It was actually pretty funny.
He asked questions and had us write certain things down. I was surprised when he had us do an assignment and wanted it before we left. There would be no class the next week because of Thanksgiving. We had that Friday off. He gave us more homework than usual. When class was over, we had to walk our papers to the front. When I got there, he handed me my phone.
“Don't bring this to class again,” he said.
I snatched it from his hand and turned to walk away.
Saturday morning, I sat on my bed trying to decided what to do for Thanksgiving. Should I go home and face them, or should I go to my grandparents an
d think about my dad? Just as I picked up the phone to call them, it buzzed with a text. I was so excited. It had to be Sally. I wanted to talk to her more about my mom and what was going on. When I opened the text, it was from an unknown number.
Unknown: Are you going to see your grandparents for the holiday?
The only people that knew were my mom, Sally, and Alex. It took a minute before I got it. That punk took my phone so he could get my number. How did I not realize that, I wondered?
Me: I haven't decided. I can either go home and meet the loser son, or I can go and cry over my dad.
Alex: You have a third option.
Me: ???
Alex: You could stay here and make dinner with me.
Me: Aren't you going to see your dad?
Alex: He wants me to come really bad. A little too bad. Something is up with him. I'm not sure I want to deal with it. I think I'm just going to stay here. We can make a turkey and all the fixings.
Me: Do you know how to make a turkey?
Alex: Not a clue. I'll buy everything and we can figure it out together.
Me: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Alex: I'll be on my best behavior. Do you really want me to have to eat a holiday dinner alone?
Me: Fine. You did a good job making me look like an ass just so you could get my number.
Alex: :-)
Alex: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Homework. Some asshole teacher gave us a ton of work because we wouldn't be tortured by him next week. I have to get that done as well as all of my other work.
Alex: Is he hot?
Me: He's okay. I heard he's bad in bed.
A few minutes went by before he responded. I thought he was pissed.
Alex: I'm going to kick your ass. I can't believe that is what you told them. I couldn't figure out what you had said to them. Just wait until Thursday.
Me: You scared the crap out of the guy next to me. He didn't even show up yesterday. You deserved it. Don't be a sissy. Take it like a man.
Alex: Where was your boyfriend yesterday?
Me: Yeah right! You didn't make him disappear did you?
Alex: I would never.
Me: I'm going to get back to my work now. I wouldn't want Mr. Bad in Bed to get all mouthy when I don't turn my work in.