by Cindy Wilder
“Didn't you sleep last night, princess?” he asked.
I let out a low growl.
“I wonder what you dreamt about,” he added.
“Enough,” I snapped quietly. “I can't do this today. Just give me a break for one day. I am begging you, Ethan.”
It took all I had not to burst into tears. He didn't say another word the entire class. I was so close to losing it. As soon as class was over, I ran from the room. The rest of the day was a blur. He left me alone in our other class as well. My phone buzzed throughout the day, but I couldn't answer it. I went to work in a daze. When I got home, I didn't eat or open a book. I fell into my bed fully clothed with my lights on. That was how I woke the next morning.
I couldn't believe I hadn't woken up through the night. When I looked over at the clock, I jumped out of bed. I was late for school. It was the first time I had been late all year. What the hell was going on with me, I wondered? I ran through the house as fast as I could, getting ready and grabbing everything I needed.
As soon as I got to school, I took everything with me to my first class. I walked in the door, and my eyes connected with Ethan's. He had a sad look on his face that was quickly erased. I saw him put his phone back into his pocket. He probably didn't want to risk me getting even with him for having my phone taken. The teacher announced that I was late as if I didn't know. When I sat down, Ethan turned in his seat.
“Did you need me to wake you up for school?” he asked with his usual silly smirk.
I shook my head and pulled my books from my bag. The teacher began asking questions about the reading from the night before. Of course, since I was late, he decided to pick on me.
“Lauren, can you answer the question?” he asked.
I let out a sigh.
“No, sir,” I said. “I'm sorry. I didn't get the reading done last night.”
“You do realize you have to do the work to pass this class?”
“Yes, sir,” I said defeated. “It won't happen again.”
He turned to someone else.
“You didn't do your homework,” Ethan said with a shake of his head. “I just can't believe that princess didn't get it done. You went straight to your room. What the hell were you doing in there?”
I leaned up closer to his ear.
“Masturbating,” I whispered.
I saw his muscles stiffen at my words before relaxing again.
“Were you thinking about me being right next door?” he joked.
“Not at all,” I said.
He was quiet. It was so nice. I quietly pulled out my phone to see text messages from biker.
Biker: How was your day? Hope you like your new place.
Biker: I'm going job hunting. How's work?
Biker: You want to get online and talk?
Biker: Are you okay? I really want to talk to you.
Those were all from the night before. I felt horrible and quickly typed a message.
Me: I'm sorry. I had a rough day. When I got home from work, I collapsed. How was your day?
Biker: I put in a few applications. I'm hoping to find something soon. I can't wait to get out of my dad's.
Me: I put some applications in on the computer the other night. Between work and school, I have to find some extra time to put in more of them.
I looked up to see the teacher writing on the board. Ethan and two other people around me were all on their phones as well.
Biker: Less than 3 months.
Me: I know. You have no idea. I can't stay in my mom's man's house any longer than I have to.
Biker: I miss you. Can we talk on the phone this weekend? I really want to hear your voice.
Me: Yes, I would love that. I miss you too.
Just as I finished typing the last word and shut off my screen, a hand came out of nowhere and snatched my phone. That fucker had the biggest smile of his face. I gave him a nasty look and he laughed.
“Give it back,” I snarled.
He turned around and faced the front of the room. There was nothing I could do. If I said anything out loud, the teacher would give me shit for even having my phone out. It wouldn't help the people around me who had their phones out as well. I had to wait it out. I could see the punk trying to figure out my password. There was no way I wanted him going through my messages. He wouldn't figure it out anyway. It was biker's birthday. As soon as class was over, he grabbed his stuff and took off with my phone. I was so pissed. I had to go to my locker before my next class. There was no way I could get it back until my last class. Why did he have to give me such a hard time, I wondered? I never should have said a word to him the day we had that test. That was what started it all.
He never showed up at the last class. Where the fuck was he, I asked myself? Biker was probably messaging me and thought I was ignoring him again. I had to go straight to work, and he was nowhere in sight. Damn!
When I finally got home, I asked his dad where he was.
“Either on his bike or in his room,” Greg said. “Why?”
“The fucker took my phone at school and hasn't given it back,” I said.
“Watch your language. Does your mother let you talk like that?” he asked.
“My mother is never around long enough to notice,” I said with a laugh.
I turned and walked away. On my way up the stairs, I heard the rumble of a bike. I walked outside and around the front of the garage just as he was taking his helmet off. He shut the door and stopped in front of me.
“Yes, princess,” he said. “Are you here to welcome me home?”
“Give it to me,” I snapped.
“You don't have to beg. I would gladly give it to you. I would give it to you hard and deep. Is that what you want?”
He was standing so close to me. I felt my nipples brush against his chest through our shirts. My breath caught at the contact.
“That's exactly what I want. No, asshole. I want my phone.”
He pulled it from his pocket and held it up above my head. I didn't realize he was that much taller than me and had such long arms.
“This phone,” he said.
“Yes,” I said, as I reached up for it.
He held it even higher.
“Now, Ethan,” I yelled. “You've had it all day.”
“What's the big deal? Why do you need it so bad? It's not like you're waiting for a guy to call. You don't even like guys do you?”
I was getting madder by the second. He was really pissing me off. I didn't need someone putting me down. I felt shitty enough all on my own. He moved his hand closer to me and then pulled it away when I reached for it. I jumped up to grab it and bumped him. He stepped back to catch himself before falling, and the phone flew from his hand and crashed loudly to the ground. When I walked over to it, I was hoping it wasn't broken. It was face down on the cement. I picked it up and turned it over. The screen was shattered and the case was busted in half. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop them. He was ruining everything.
I turned to walk passed him. He grabbed my arm.
“Lauren,” he said.
I could hear something in his voice. Maybe he actually felt bad. I would hope so. I pulled my arm from his grip, wiped my face, and walked back into the house and to my room. His door shut shortly after mine. Greg called up to see if we wanted anything to eat. We both yelled out that we were good. I had to make up my work from the night before and the work for that day. Quickly, I booted up my computer. I had to tell biker that I didn't have a phone anymore. We weren't talking about family, so I didn't want to really tell him what had happened to it. I pulled up a message.
Me: Hey! How was your day? I wanted to let you know I don't have a phone anymore. If you text messaged me today, I didn't get it.
Ride or Die: What happened to it? How was work?
Me: I dropped it at school when I was running to a class. Work was fine. I'm going to go back to using my old phone, but I don't text on it. I just want those jobs to be able to cal
l me. It will be a bit before I can get a new one. I have a ton of homework. How about you?
Ride or Die: I got a call today for an interview.
Me: That's so awesome. I can't wait to meet you. You have no idea what talking to you does for me. I feel like everything is falling down around me. All I have to do is talk to you, and I feel good for a few minutes.
Ride or Die: I know what it does for me. You give me something to look forward to. I want to take you on my bike.
Me: What?
Ride or Die: Oh, shit! I meant for a ride.
I burst into laughter. It was so bad, I could hardly type.
Me: First you say you want to take me. Then you say for a ride. That doesn't make it any better.
Ride or Die: Damn. You know what I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter, sunshine. I would take you on my bike anytime. Have you been dreaming about me again?
Me: You're so funny. I love you.
I hit the send button and then read what I typed. Oh, shit! I thought. Quickly, I tried to find a button to take it back before he read it. There wasn't one. I closed my eyes and instantly felt tears. He was going to think I was crazy. Fix it, I thought.
Me: I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry. It's been a really long day. I'm shutting off my computer. Bye.
I closed the browser and shut off my computer before I could see his response. He was probably going to delete me, and I had no other way to talk to him. I fell back onto my bed and cried. What did I do, I thought? Would he ever talk to me again? We had been talking for six months. When he slipped up about taking me on his bike, I laughed so hard it hurt. I wasn't even thinking when I typed that message. It was true. I loved him, but I didn't mean to tell him yet. A few seconds later I jumped when I heard something slam into the wall next to me. What the hell, I wondered? I jumped from my bed, went into the hallway, and knocked on Ethan's door.
“What?” he yelled.
I turned the knob and opened the door without thinking and walked in. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. I looked over at his desk. His laptop was on but closed. I didn't take him for a computer guy. He had a nice setup. I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the tension flow from his body. He was the biggest dick to me, but I couldn't help but feel compassion for him.
“Are you okay?” I asked, as I approached his bed.
He didn't answer. I stopped in front of him. My knees brushed against his legs, and I felt the strangest feeling shoot through me. It wasn't the first time that had happened. I got on my knees in front of him and put my hands on his legs.
“Ethan,” I whispered. “What's wrong?”
“It's nothing,” he said.
“Look at me,” I said, but he didn't budge. “Please.”
I reached up and took his hands in mine, as I pulled them from his face. He looked up through his bangs. There was such a sad emotion in his eyes. My heart broke for him.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “Have you ever wanted something so badly you knew you couldn't live without it?”
“Yes,” I said.
“It was right there in my grasp, but I didn't take it. I froze and it was ripped away that fast. I don't know what to do.”
“I'm sorry,” I said. “Is there anything I can do?”
He shook his head and looked back toward his lap. I sat in front of him for a few moments.
“I just need to think,” he said.
I stood up and left the room quietly. It was the first time I was really able to see him in a different light. He had shown emotion for a few seconds once or twice, but he had always been quick to hide it and bring back the bad boy ass I was getting to know so well. I actually felt heartbroken for him. Whatever was bothering him was huge. He had lost his opportunity with something or someone. I had to wonder if I had just done the same. Had I freaked biker out so bad that I would lose him? I was so afraid to turn my computer back on. He hadn't said anything right away, so I tried to cover up for what I had done. Maybe I scared him off. Once I changed into my shorts and tank top for the evening, I turned it on just for a moment to see if he had messaged me back, but he hadn't. My heart sank, and I felt like I was going to be sick. I ran for the bathroom sobbing. I had ruined everything.
I closed and locked the door and went down on my knees. Why was everything so fucked up, I wondered? I was in love with biker. There was no question in my mind. I wanted to move in with him as soon as we graduated. My big mouth had to send an I love you to him. I had to quickly get out of the situation and said I didn't mean it. He didn't respond. It had been an hour and he hadn't said anything. He was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my days. I was young, but that didn't matter. I knew that I would love him forever.
Then there was Ethan. He was the biggest asshole I knew. I had a hard time with him at school, even though I brought it on myself by being the first one to say anything. As much of a jerk as he was, you would have thought I would have hated him. It wasn't like that. I enjoyed messing with him and pissing him off. It made me laugh and honestly relieved some of my stress. When we touched, I felt a spark. It freaked me out. When I heard him upset just minutes earlier and saw him so sad, I wanted to console him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. It truly broke my heart. When I got down on my knees and touched his legs, that spark ran through me again. I couldn't figure it out. He was very attractive. I loved the roughness he had. His dark hair and big eyes were sexy. When he looked up through his hair, I felt myself melt a little.
Why was I having thoughts of wanting to comfort Ethan when I was in love with biker, I wondered? Maybe I was like her. That was something my mom would have done. I didn't want to be attracted to both of them. The thought of losing biker was devastating. He was my best friend. I wanted so much more with him. My back was against the wall, as tears fell from my eyes. I knew what I needed to do. I had to stop talking to biker. He was an amazing guy and deserved much better than me. I needed to stay alone. There was no way I wanted to be like her, hoping from man to man. He needed to be with someone that would treat him right and never think of another man. He was too good for me.
There was a light knock on the bathroom door. When I didn't move, I heard the knock again. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up to look in the mirror. My face was a mess.
“Princess,” he said. “Open the door.”
I unlocked the lock but didn't turn the knob. The door opened slowly. He let out a light gasp when our eyes connected.
“Shit,” he whispered.
We stood still looking into each other's eyes from across the small space. I couldn't help but feel something as I looked at him. He was such a jerk, but I knew there was so much he was hiding. I knew it wasn't the real Ethan. I watched his eyes look over my body. Oh, shit. I had forgotten that I had changed into my night clothes to do homework. It was different from the jeans and t-shirts I wore to school and around the house. I hadn't planned on being out of my room. His eyes stopped at my breasts before traveling down. Those clothes were more revealing than the ones he had seen before. I felt my legs clench when he noticed how short my shorts were. A low rumble came from his chest. His eyes went back to mine and it took all I had to stay where I was. I heard the door click closed. I saw the color in his eyes darken. His tongue slid out and across his lower lip, and I felt my body shiver. There was something different about him, but I couldn't place what it was. I sucked in a huge breath and slowly released it. It was the most intense moment of my life. I reached up and wiped another tear from my eye and shifted from one foot to the next.
“Ethan,” I whispered.
I saw something change in his eyes as his feet moved toward me. He had me up against the wall before I knew it. Both of his hands were on my cheeks and his thumbs brushed the tears from my face. A second later his mouth connected with mine. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and pulled as his tongue demanded entrance. I gasped from the forcefulness of his actions. He grabbed
the back of my hair and tugged back so he could have better access to me. Our tongues tangled together in a fight for control. It was so unbelievably hot. My hands went to the back of his head and pulled him closer. I was lost in his kiss. I felt his knee pushing my legs apart before coming up against my shorts. The moan left my lips before I could stop it.
His hand came up and cupped my barely clothed breast. My back arched against his hand. I could feel him smile through his kiss.
“Princess,” he moaned.
“Yes.”
“I fucking want you right now. I need you.”
His hands went to the hem of my shirt and pulled up. Not a single part of me tried to stop him. He lifted it over my head and up my arms. As he took it over my hands, he let it fall but kept my hands in his against the wall. He pulled back and looked down at me.
“You're so beautiful. I want to taste every inch of your body.”
His knee ground up against me and I moaned. I grabbed the back of his head and claimed his mouth with mine. His chest shoved against me as he held my hands above my head. He shifted both of my hands in one of his and brought his other hand down to my breast. He rolled my nipple between his fingers before leaning his head down and taking the other one into his mouth. I shook as he sucked it hard and grazed it with his teeth. His hand traveled down and cupped my mound over my shorts. I sucked his bottom lip between my teeth and he growled. When I let go, he dropped to his knees in front of me. My eyes widened when I looked down at him. His hands were at my thighs.
“I'm going to make you come with my mouth, princess,” he said.
My legs closed on their own. I was so nervous. My only sexual experience with a guy was done over the phone.
“Ethan,” I said. “I don't know.”