by Cindy Wilder
“Before,” I yelled, as I tried to calm myself. “I said his name while we were standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Why would you do that to your own brother?”
“I guess it was for revenge,” he said calmly, as he shook his head. “He took my girl in high school. Now, I have his.”
“No,” I said. “You don't.”
I shook my head from side to side.
“Oh,” he began. “I do. Unless you want your oh-so-wonderful man or our parents to know, you'll do as I say.”
“You're such an asshole. I can't believe you would do something like this to your own family. What kind of man are you?”
“I'm more like our dad than either of them is. I'll do what it takes to get what I want. In his case, he used his fists. Not me,” he said. “I use my cock.”
“Get the fuck out of my room right now,” I snapped. “You are such an asshole. Do you know that? I've never met anyone as despicable as you in my entire life.”
“If you want to keep him, you'll do what I say,” he said. “He'd never forgive you for what you did. I must admit, I would love to tell him that I fucked his girl better than he ever did.”
“I never said that,” I yelled.
“You didn't have to,” he said. “Has he given you five orgasms in one night?”
“Out,” I yelled.
“I will be eating the food you make, and I won't be doing the dishes. Have a nice night,” he said, as he walked out of my room.
I hurried to get my shoes on and grabbed my phone. When I came down the stairs, I heard Brad and his mom talking in the other room. He was laughing, and I felt horrible. I grabbed my dad's keys from the table near the door and left as soon as I could. When I drove away from the house, I felt my body letting go. The tears streamed down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away. I cranked up the radio and tried to get my head together. It was pitch black out, and the cemetery was closed. I couldn't think of anyplace I wanted to go, but I knew I didn't want to go back to the house. When I parked the car in my normal spot outside of our apartment, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. It was home.
When I got inside, I turned on the lights and looked around. There was still a loveseat and television in the living room. I plopped down on the couch and turned on the television, excited to see that the cable was still hooked up. It didn't matter what I watched, I just wanted to drown out my thoughts and the guilt that filled me. I didn't know he wasn't Brad. Yes, I know what you're thinking. How could I not know? I really didn't. When he spoke, it was mostly a demanding or rough tone. I couldn't see much in the darkness of my room. Not to mention the fact that they look identical. Why would I think it wasn't him? There was no reason for me to doubt him. Then my mind went to what really mattered anymore. Would Brad believe me if I told him what happened? Would he be able to forgive me? I knew I didn't do it on purpose, but would he? He was the most amazing man I had ever met. I would never have cheated on him. My other question was what would his brother say? He obviously had it out for Brad. He mentioned something about Brad taking his girl. What was that about? I had no idea what I was going to do. There was no way I wanted to lose Brad, but I couldn't lie to him. Not telling him was the same as lying.
I grabbed my pillow from my bed and pulled a blanket over me while I watched television. Before I knew it, my eyes were closing. When I felt a vibration against my butt, I tried to brush it away. It wouldn't stop. Finally, I opened my eyes and realized the vibration was my phone. When I turned it on, there were several text messages. The time on the screen said two o'clock. I had to have slept for a couple of hours. The messages from Brad started before midnight.
Brad: I went to your room when I was done talking to my mom. Where are you?
Brad: Seriously, where are you?
Brad: I get that you're upset about our parents, but I need to see you. You're dad's car is gone. Where are you?
There was a text from my dad from one o'clock.
Dad: What time are you coming home? Where are you?
I knew if I didn't answer him, there would be another argument later that day. There was no way I wanted Jen to think it was a daily occurrence for us.
Me: I'll be home sometime tomorrow. I needed some time to myself and went to the apartment. The cable still works. Thanks for that.
It didn't take long for him to answer.
Dad: Okay. Is everything okay? I don't need the car back until Monday if you feel the need to stay tomorrow night as well. Let me know so Jen doesn't think you're coming home for dinner. I need to talk to you about the wedding.
I figured we should just get it over with.
Me: When is it?
Dad: Next Saturday. We're just going to do a small thing in the yard. Billy won't be here. He said he can't get the time off of work. We want the three of you there. Hopefully the two boys can get along long enough for the wedding. We're going to have a barbecue right after. It's not going to be big. Neither of us wants to spend the money, and we've both already had a large wedding. Will you be there?
Me: Of course. She seems amazing, and I am happy for you.
Dad: Thanks. I'll try not to be such an ass about boys you talk to.
Me: Men, dad. They are not boys.
Dad: I want to meet this guy from school.
Me: I don't think you'll have to worry about that anyway.
Dad: Is everything okay?
Me: I'm not really sure.
Dad: You can talk to me about anything, T. If you feel weird about it, Jen is here too.
Me: Thanks. I'll talk to you later. I was sleeping.
Dad: Okay. Have a great day. There's not much food, but you know where I keep a little cash. It's still there. I thought you might need it. Have a great night. Love you, baby girl.
Me: I love you too, dad.
I went back to the rest of Brad's messages.
Brad: This shit's not funny, Tara.
Brad: I'm going to go looking for you.
Just as I was reading his last text, a new one came in.
Brad: Okay. I know we haven't talked about us and our parents yet. You know how I feel about not being able to find someone. I'm a mess over here. We had a deal about that. All I need is to know that you're okay. I have no clue why you aren't answering me. I see your dad texting away on his phone. I can only assume that it's you he is talking to. You have two choices, baby. You have five minutes to tell me where you are, or I ask your dad when that time is up. Your time starts now.
Me: Don't ask my dad. We've had enough going on today. I'm sorry. I wasn't not answering you on purpose. I wouldn't do that to you, Brad. I was asleep.
Brad: How could you be asleep? Where are you?
Me: I'm at my apartment. I had to get out of there and think. They are getting married next weekend. I can't believe this. I seriously can't. I thought it was going to be later this summer. What's the rush all about? She's not pregnant or anything. Oh shit! She's not pregnant is she? They are too old for that, right?
Brad: She just told me about everything. I'm just as confused as you are. She'll be forty later this year. I'm not sure. She better not be pregnant. They are both sitting in the same room with me and Brayden right now. You're lucky you have somewhere to go. What happened earlier between you and your dad? I want to talk to you. What I really need is to hold you in my arms.
I sat thinking about how badly I wanted to be cuddled up with him. It wouldn't be long before I would never have that again. All I wanted was one more day with him before I told him what happened. There was no way to know what he was going to do. I knew there was no way I was touching Brayden or he was touching me again. He could think what he wanted. I knew I needed to let the wedding happen before I said anything to Brad. Would they argue? Would it turn into a big thing between the two brothers? My father and his mother would most likely know after I told him. I decided in that moment that I would tell him the day after the wedding. Our parents would hopefully be away for a few days, and that would give
the boys time to settle things between them. I looked around the apartment and thought about the situation. Would my dad let me stay in the apartment until I left for school, I wondered? He said he would, but that was before I told him it wasn't necessary. I knew once I told Brad, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near Brayden again and Brad might not want to be around me. My phone buzzed and I jumped.
Brad: Well...
Me: It was nothing really. I asked him if he would be okay with me getting an apartment next year. When I mentioned that my friend had one and shared it will several guys, he went crazy. That wasn't what I meant. He took it the wrong way. When he got mad, it made me mad. He made some shitty comments about the guy I was talking to at school. They weren't very nice. I wasn't going to let him do that, so I set him straight about the situation. It was in front of your mom and brother.
Brad: Did you say you were too good for me? Why would you say that?
Me: Because it's true. You are a million times better than I could ever be. You deserve so much more than me.
Brad: Isn't that my decision. I want to see you. What's the address?
Another text came right away.
Brad: You will most definitely not live with ten guys at school. I would go crazy. There's only one guy you'll be living with next year.
What the hell was he talking about, I wondered?
Me: Very funny.
Brad: It's not a joke. It would save your dad money if you lived with me. He wouldn't have to pay for a dorm room for you.
Me: He's going to put that money toward my apartment. I'm going to get a job and try to find someone to share it with. You should have seen the veins bulging in his forehead. It was crazy. I've been on my own for nine months. It was strange having him get all cranky with me.
Brad: What is the address?
Me: It's not a good idea.
Brad: Your dad looks like he wants to talk. My mom just asked who I was talking to. Maybe I should ask him for the address?
Me: I wouldn't do that. I told him my friend wasn't the one that wanted to sleep with me. I said it was me who wanted to do it. I thought his head was going to blow off of his body. We need to keep our relationship away from them.
Brad: Would it be so bad if they found out we were together?
Me: Right now it would be.
Brad: Are you embarrassed that you're with me?
Me: No. Not at all. I can't believe you just said that. I don't want to ruin their wedding. They seem really happy together. She's so nice.
Brad: Your dad has done a lot around here. I don't have anything to do. The pool's even open already. He takes care of everything for her. They are hugging right now. My brother's about to get his mouth kicked in though.
Me: What's up with you two anyway? What's with all the tension?
Brad: It's getting late. Are you going to let me come see you?
I thought for a minute and decided that I needed one more day with him before I lost him.
Me: Yes. Will you stay here with me all day tomorrow too?
Brad: I can stay until Monday morning when I have to be at work. I'll tell my mom that I'm going over a friend's. I'd much rather tell her where I really am, but we'll talk about that later.
I gave him the address and went to my room. When I flipped the light on, I gasped. I'd forgotten that I left it such a mess when I was there earlier. There was stuff everywhere. No way was I getting to my bed. I grabbed two pillows and some blankets and took them out to the living room. They were placed nicely on the floor. That way we could watch television and relax. When I heard the knock on the door, I felt guilt rush through me. One more amazing weekend with him, I thought. I would allow us that before tearing us apart.
When I opened the door, he dropped his bag, grabbed both sides of my face, and kissed me with such feeling. We both gasped for air when he pulled back from the kiss. I grabbed his bag from the ground and walked back into the apartment. He followed behind me and closed the door.
“Your dad told you on the way home that he had moved?” Brad asked.
“Yes,” I said. “They had a bed, nightstand, and dresser there for me. Your mom was really nice about it. I knew that one day that he had a friend. She went to the cemetery with him.”
I saw Brad's eyes widen when he realized what I was saying. He kicked his shoes off, and we sat down on the blankets that were on the floor.
“It was your mom. They've been dating since the holiday. He moved in two weeks ago. When he said they wanted to get married, I didn't know he meant in a week. I didn't get upset or anything. They seem really happy together. He was trying to get me to tell her about my friend at school. That would have been awkward. I didn't know then that you were her son.”
“She mentioned that he was very protective and threatened to kick the guy's ass. I asked her about it earlier. She said you were right and told me what you said about giving her a chance and not judging her. You said that your dad was judging your friend and had never even met him. She said that you held your own with him and that she proud of you. I had to laugh. She said she couldn't believe that you pretty much told him you were the one that initiated sex with the guy. I guess, when you left the room, he was so upset and went on about how he was going to kill him.”
“I was so upset about the way he was acting,” I said. “I couldn't help it. I needed to let him know that I wasn't a little girl. You should have seen his face when I said it. It was priceless.”
“She told me the nice things you said about me. Of course, she didn't know she was talking about me,” he said.
Brad leaned back against the couch and pulled me close to him. I put my arms around him and rested my head on his chest.
“Your mom told you the night before you came home?” I asked.
“She said that she met a man and she wanted to marry him. When she told me he had a daughter, I thought nothing of it. What were the chances I would know her? I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you sitting there. It pissed me off to see Brayden sitting so damn close to you.”
“Why didn't you tell me you had a twin?” I asked.
“I honestly hadn't planned on you meeting him,” he said.
“You didn't think I would ever meet your family,” I said. “I see.”
“That's not what I said,” he said quickly. “I wanted you to meet my mom. I never wanted you to meet Brayden. He's an asshole.”
“Did your dad hurt your mom?” I asked.
I felt his chest move as he took a deep breath in and out.
“I'm sorry,” I said, as I looked up at him and ran my hand across his belly. “It's none of my business.”
“No,” he said. “It's not something I've ever talked about with anyone before. He was a real jerk. It was mostly abusive language. There were a few times he lifted his hand to her. Billy went after him one night and beat the shit out of him. My dad kicked Billy out of the house. He's never lived there since. My mom sees him, but he refuses to move back in. He has a good job and an apartment not to far away. It was only days later that my dad left.”
“Did he hit you guys?” I asked nervously.
“Yes,” he said. “Billy would step in front of me and sometimes Brayden. It was mostly me my dad was after. I never could figure out why. He got me good a few times when Billy wasn't home and my mom was at the store. One time, he broke my arm.”
“What?” I yelled. “Your mom let him get away with that.”
“No,” he said. “She didn't know. I told her I fell off my bike.”
“Why would you lie for him?” I asked, as tears slid from the corner of my eye.
“I don't know. He was my dad. I didn't want him to leave. It makes no sense to me now, but it did then.”
I got up on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I can't believe that happened to you. How could a parent do that to their child? What did your mom do when he left?”
“She was worried about taking care of us. We talked about it later. She
stayed with him so that we had what we needed. When he left, she got two jobs. We were old enough to do things for ourselves. She was always heartbroken that Billy wasn't there. He had moved in with a friend's family at first. We're pretty close. I see him more than anyone else. You're going to meet him one day. I know he'll love you.”
“Don't be so sure,” I said. “Do you guys talk to your dad at all?”
“Brayden does from time to time,” he said. “I never want to talk to him ever again. My mom seems happier than I've seen her in years. She talks so highly of your dad. He's really done a lot for her. We were talking about how he wants her to quit one of her jobs, but she's afraid to.”
“He's extremely happy with her. My dad is a very good man. He's never shown an interest in anyone since my mom passed away. He would never do anything to hurt your mom. I watched my parents together. He worshiped the ground she walked on. I see him doing the same with your mom. He does want her to quit one job. If he could take care of everything, he'd want her at home. Not for him, but for her. I really like your mom. She was so sweet to me last night and today. I can tell she loves the three of you. She told me she'd smack you all in the head if you messed with me. Can I ask you something else?”
“What?” he asked.
“What's the deal with you and Brayden?”
“It's a long story,” he answered.
“You have somewhere to be?” I asked. “You could cut the tension between you with a knife. Is it something about your dad?”
“No,” he said. “When we were in high school, there was a girl that liked me. She started flirting with me. I wasn't that into her, but she wouldn't lay off. Brayden didn't hang in the same crowd that I did. Our dad had already left, and things were kind of strange between us. It wasn't always that way. We were very close when we were younger. It was the beginning of our senior year, and the girl was all over me. My friends told me I should at least give her a chance. I had barely seen Brayden the entire summer. He was always with his friends, and I was at home doing yard work and helping my mom. Anyway, I finally agreed to go out with her. We went out one night on a date. What I didn't know was that Brayden had dated her during the summer. They had gotten into a huge fight, and she dumped him. I guess he was madly in love with her. She knew where he was that night, and we conveniently ended up at the same place. When he saw us together, he lost it. I mean he was really upset. We left, and I took her straight home.”