by Miriam Bell
I tug at the fabric. Knowing what I want, Connor breaks our kiss to remove the thin clothing. He begins to lightly stroke my neck, kissing and nibbling on my ear. I moan as my hands explore his newly exposed skin.
“Oh Millie,” he groans as I begin to move beneath him, my leg pinning his hips against me. “It was painful being a part from you,” he whispers in my ear and tightly grips my thigh.
I feel his excitement baring down on me as I ache to have him completely.
“Don’t walk out on me this time,” I beg, almost strangled with lust.
“Never.”
His hand skims the bottom of my shirt before diving underneath. His light caress touches the skin above my ribs causing my whole body to spasm. Connor devours my lips with his, moving with such passion that all I can do is grab a hold of his muscular shoulders. My whole consciousness rallies in anticipation as his callous hand strokes my bare skin. I arch into his touch and tug on his blue jeans. Too many clothes.
“Oh, please take these off,” I mumble desperately.
My hand slips between his skin and boxers, grazing his hip bone. He jerks and hisses in my ear.
“Connor.” Clover’s voice calls out quietly.
He stills above me. Her voice comes again only closer.
“Connor?”
He stares down into my eyes. An expression of desire, longing and regret lingering together. He shakingly grips my neck lowering his forehead to mine.
“Please don’t see this as me leaving.”
He pushes off my mattress and collects his shirt from the floor. I sit up, my clothes disheveled- staring at him.
“Connor?” Clover draws closer.
In the middle of my room he takes a step toward me and stops, his hand clenches and releases- a look of pain on his strong face. Pulling back my curtain door Connor leaves my living quarters. My head crashes back down against my pillow. In the distance, I hear Clover’s concerned voice.
“Oh, there you are. Mrs. Emerson is looking for you.”
I hear a grunt as the echo of his heavy footsteps on the metal sound loudly in the cell block. Then, the slamming of the doors.
I stare at my ceiling, imagining Connor still there with me. The smell of him lingers on my skin, the taste of him still on my tongue. Why can’t life be easy? Why must things be so complicated? I drift off into a dreamless sleep until the sun cast its beams across my room. I know I need to get up, I know that life has continued around me as I decayed on top of this lumpy mattress. I stand with new resolve and stretch my sore muscles. I’ve been motionless for far too long. Once I’ve combed my hair, dressed and armed myself with the now familiar weight of my centipede weapons, I step outside of my empty cell.
When I open the door to the gymnasium I’m greeted by the annoyed faces of scouts including Mrs. Emerson.
“Well it’s about time you graced us with your presence and what do you know, you’re actually just in time for the report,” she says and stands in front of the entire group of scouts, strong and capable.
I bow my head and take a seat in the back. I try not to search for Connor but my eyes find him without any effort.
“Okay, as you were saying Connor.”
She motions for him to stand. He does and I’m overcome with alarm when I see his face. What the darkness covered up, the light filtering through the above windows highlights. A dark bruise covers his right cheek. The dark shadow I saw in my room is actually a gash that has scabbed over, under his eye. When I glance around the gym, I notice the other members of his scouting group all harboring the same injuries.
“As I was saying,” he glances at me knowing full well I’m cataloging every injury. “We were able to bring back a majority of what was on the list. However, we were met with much difficulty.”
He pulls out an aerial map that all scouts receive with their supply bags. On it I can discern large areas circled in red ink.
“These areas circled are where we detected the most infected. They seem to be moving in small herds. We don’t know why but it’s like they are coming in waves.” He allows us to process the information before speaking again. “As you can see, there is a large mountain here.” He points to a location on the map. “When you study the layout, this prison lies right at the base and is the last stop of a small mountain range.” He passes the map to a person nearby. “Take a look, there are two flattened areas of land on each side of the larger mountain. Basicly, what is happening is the infected are taking the path of least resistance, filtering around the mountain. It’s better that in future scouting trips to avoid these areas circled in red.” He pauses. “This community has been lucky not to have these things knocking on your door.”
Eddie, a middle aged man with light grey edging his sideburns hands me Connor’s circled map. I study the area shown.
“If what you’re saying is true, then Barnesville is crawling with them,” I say, passing the map along.
I fall under Connor’s scrutiny.
“Yeah, more than likely,” he replies, a questioning look appearing on his features.
“Well, sucks to be me then.”
I give a sardonic snicker causing Eddie to purse his lips.
“Millie,” Mrs. Emerson chastises.
“Wait, what Am I missing?” Connor asks.
He glances between Mrs. Emerson and I. She gives me a remorseful stare.
“Our Millie here is set to go out on the next scouting mission to Barnesville.”
Connor’s face turns hard.
“No she isn’t,” he says, unrelentingly.
“Yes, I am.” I retort, firm in my decision and ignoring the stares.
I had a job to do. I had to be useful; it was what I wanted.
“Then I’m going too,” he says.
“No, you aren’t,” Mrs. Emerson speaks up. “You just got back. You need rest.”
Connor stands stern but obviously conflicted.
“I was in the red zone with Clover for months, not resting. I did just fine,” he comments.
Sadness appears again on Mrs. Emerson usually unyielding face.
“Well, then think of Clover and Tessa. You need to be with your family for awhile,” she remarks.
Connor peers around the room as if suddenly realizing other people are observing the whole exchange.
“We can discuss this later,” he says, sitting down beside Justin, one of the scouts that returned with him. They utter a few words quietly.
“Mrs. Emerson, I think we should move up the Barnesville trip,” I say, all heads turning toward me including Connor’s. “What?” I question. “Since these groups of infected have been indicated on the map, we stand a better chance of avoiding them if we leave now. Who knows where they’ll migrate if we wait a few weeks.” I take a deep breath feeling the anger radiating off of Connor. “Besides the weather is getting colder.”
I wait patiently for a response while the air thickens with suspense.
“Agreed,” Mrs. Emerson says, breaking the awkward silence. “Millie, Lonnie, Jay, Carter and Daniel, you leave at first light.”
Connor stands rapidly, his face set as if carved in stone. His mouth opens to speak but Mrs. Emerson is gone. My eyes search the gym, landing on Lonnie. Our gazes meet and an understanding drifts between us. This wouldn’t be just another scouting trip.
I rush out of the gym to escape Connor’s wrath but as I’m about to reach freedom his fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling me backward.
“What are you thinking?”
His voice is calm but holds a dangerous edge. I pull my wrist away.
“I’m thinking I don’t want to be hiking to Barnesville in the cold,” I say and hold his gaze, keeping my facial features blank.
“I just came back from the red zone it’s too dangerous right now.”
His expression is a mix of aggression and worry.
“Connor, it’s my job.”
“I know but,” he leans closer to me, “I can’t go with you.”
I stare in
to his molten gray eyes, wishing we had longer than a few hours together.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” I say.
“Maybe this isn’t about what you need but what I need.”
He reaches out for my hand only to graze my wrist with gentle fingers.
“Three weeks is a long time to be without my friend,” he says quietly.
I shiver at the hidden meaning within his words. Connor’s eyes flicker to my mouth and back.
“We’re still friends, aren’t we?” he asks.
Heavy footsteps draw nearer as I’m unable to move. If I was to answer his question yes, would he confess his feelings? Do I want him too? Yes.
“Millie, meet back here to discuss game plans,” Lonnie says as he comes to a stop beside me.
“Sure.” I breath, nodding to him.
“Three hours.”
He holds up three fingers as he moves around my stiff body. Carter follows him giving me a weak smile. I realize Connor and I are standing just inside the doorway, blocking those trying to leave. I step to the side, tucking a strand of wavy red hair behind my ear. I cast my head down, keeping my voice low so no one can hear.
“About earlier,” I begin. Connor cuts me off.
“Don’t say another word. It was nothing.”
My head snaps up.
“Excuse me?” I say, confounded.
“We’re friends and I took advantage of the situation. It won’t happen again,” he says with a firm tone.
“Were we in the same room? I kissed you,” I say as he rolls his eyes.
“You’ve been having a rough couple of weeks…” I don’t allow him to finish.
“Whatever.” I straighten. “If that’s how you want to spin it, so be it,” I respond angrily.
“No, wait. Millie.”
His face is one of confusion. He reaches for me again but I dodge his advance.
“You know, I wasn’t going to say anything but you have some competition,” I say.
He looks at me uncertain before the muscles of his jaw tightens.
“Lonnie?” he spits the name out in a sneer.
“Yeah,” I say not understanding his sudden anger. “During one of my fly ops, I saw Evie and Lonnie kissing.”
“Wait. What?” he replies.
“Evie and Lonnie. They’re together,” I confirm.
Amusement flares in his steel eyes and he relaxes into a comfortable stance.
“Fly ops?” he questions.
“Yeah, you know. You wanted me to practice hiding. I did and by the looks of it you’re going to have to play serious catch up if you want to steal Evie away.”
I spin giving Connor by backside as I walk away. Fury pulses in me. How does Connor get this kind of reaction out of me? Behind me a soft chuckle causes my teeth to ground together.
I spend the next few hours walking the perimeter of the fences enjoying my first breath of fresh air in days. I notice all the leaves have fallen from the surrounding trees leaving only the pines to give flashes of green among the bare branches. My mind replays everything I’ve learned in the past week, so many secrets, so many lies. All the details mush together forming one large ball of deceit. I push the anger away letting the ball weigh heavy on my chest. I’m not sure how to continue. Is it possible to feel years older in a matter of moments?
I find myself back inside the gymnasium ahead of schedule anxious to get the show on the road. When I open the doors to one of the back rooms, I’m not shocked to see Lonnie, Jay, Carter and Daniel already there. I am surprised to see Connor slouching in the corner of the room with arms crossed, and legs spread out.
“Why are you here?” I ask. He crooks an eyebrow.
“What can I say, I’m indispensable.”
He opens his arms wide in a grand gesture. I ignore him and sit beside Jay.
“And here I thought I was early,” I say, quietly.
On the center table, Lonnie spreads out a delicate map of the red zone surrounding the abandoned town nearby.
“Nah, you’re just in time. Here’s the map that shows the route we’ve taken before.” Lonnie says. He points to a section highlighted. “With the intel Connor and the scouting group has given us, we now know this area is going to be the most dangerous.”
I study the map.
“They didn’t actually travel into Barnesville. Do we know how many infected are there?” I ask.
“No, we don’t.” Daniel says.
His intelligent eyes inspect me, questioning my ability to step foot into the red zone. His hair is solid black with skin unblemished. I’ve always known Daniel but I never have considered us friends. He’s a little older than Lonnie and Jay but not by much. When the twins used to help train me, he would always leave saying he had better things to do. I always figured I could take him in a fight since he practiced so little.
“This whole mission is a bad idea,” he says.
“Yeah, it is,” Connor agrees from his corner.
I throw him my best shut up expression. The end of his mouth curves slightly.
“Either way, we’re going,” I say.
Our meeting continues as we discuss the best route, when and where to rest and set up camp. We mark off buildings that we know are empty.
“Some of these buildings are destroyed. A bomb hit here.” Lonnie points to a place on the map. “We believe it was meant for Forsyth but was dropped prematurely. So this section is off limits.”
The knob of his throat bobs as he swallows hard.
“How do you know about the bomb?” I ask actually curious.
“I’ve seen it.” Lonnie stares ahead intently, “Do we have a list of things we need?”
“Nah we haven’t been given one but we need medicine. Just like the last times we need to gather non perishables. Liquor, sugar, honey, white vinegar, salt, you know basic stuff,” Jay says, counting items off with his fingers.
“We’ve been scouting Barnesville for years. How do we even know the place still has any of this stuff left?” Carter questions.
Carter, in his late thirties, is a new addition to the scouts having joined about the same time I did. I don’t know why he waited to do so until he was older. I’ve never been the kind of person to pry. He has dirty blond hair, receding in front and has oversized ears. I’ve an urge to ask him about his hearing every time he irritates me but I always stop myself at the last minute.
“Well, because last year Jay, Daniel and I scouted the whole town and put items we found, that might be useful, in one central location,” Lonnie says smugly. “Glad we took the time now.”
“Wait, so there is a room somewhere in this town stocked full of supplies,” I say, intrigued.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it a room per say.” Jay remarks.
“Okay, I’m missing something.” Carter says, a little uncomfortable.
“It’s an airplane,” Daniel comments to Carter.
I hear a noise coming from Connor’s corner. He leans closer elbows on his knees completely alert.
“No way,” he says “that’s brilliant.”
Now Lonnie laughs, “It was one of my better ideas.”
“So let me get this straight,” I say, reaching out palms first to quiet them. “There is a plane out in the red zone full of supplies?”
The twins nod at the same time.
“So that’s why it took you so long for y’all to come back last year?” I ask.
“Not just a plane but a crashed plane.” Jay pauses, eyes glittering at my amazed expression. “The crash site is right here.” He points to a place on the map. “It’s a mile before you even get to the city.”
Lonnie joins in with his brother, “It’s the perfect location because no one walking by would go into a partially damage airplane looking for loot.”
“This mission won’t take the whole three weeks then?” I question.
“Nah, but the hike will still take a good bit of time,” Jay states.
“We scavenged so much it wo
uld take multiple trips to bring all of the stuff back home,” Lonnie says as he watches Connor draw nearer to the table.
“We’re bringing extra bags to fill with supplies right?” I ask.
“Yeah, we were wanting to bring a cart of some kind but with the infected I’m afraid we’ll make too much noise.”
Connor studies the map, his finger tracing the lines of roads long swallowed up by the red zone.
“I don’t like this,” he says toward Lonnie. “Are these supplies worth the risk? This place grows it’s own food and you ration supplies. You know how hard it was for me to get a little extra food for Chevy?”
Lonnie narrows his eyes.
“I’m sure it wasn’t too hard,” Lonnie replies sharply.
Connor ignores his comment to address me.
“You have trained well enough you can handle this mission but if you get into trouble I want you to run. Run fast and don’t stop.”
I stare into his serious expression.
“I can do that,” I reply.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next morning we leave as the sun breaks through the horizon. Anticipation, fear, and determination mix together inside me as I glance behind to the fences. A light fog envelopes the prison and the surrounding fields but I can still see Connor. He stands inside the fence, fingers laced with the cold metal. He watches as I go, his face the perfect example of concern and worry. I offer a slight smile and wave. He doesn’t respond.
I feel guilty for leaving Connor behind, even more so knowing that I should’ve spoken with my father one last time. However, no matter how many times I walked past the library, I couldn’t bring myself to open the doors. I stare straight ahead wanting to block out everything of the last few days and focus on the red zone.
“Alright everybody look alive. This is the real thing,” Lonnie says.
He leads the group into Zebulon’s town square. We stay alert, searching each broken street.
“Before we get started we’re going to pick up another person,” Lonnie announces to the group. “Carter, you’re the only one that doesn’t know about Bryan. He’s a friend that lives inside the church just a block over. I ask you to keep him a secret until he decides he wants to join the prison.” Lonnie holds Carter’s gaze. “For me. Please.”