by Audra North
* * *
In his dream, Cori was walking away from him.
He was trying to run after her, but he wasn’t moving, even though he was laboring hard. He was starting to sweat, running so hard but getting nowhere, and she just kept getting further away.
He reached out for her, trying to scream her name, and she finally turned to look back at him.
Except it wasn’t Cori. In the way of dreams, he knew it wasn’t Cori, even though she didn’t look any different. It was in the set of her smile, the light in her eyes . . .
“No!” he shouted, and he must have stirred, or murmured something back in the real world, because the next thing he knew, soothing hands were touching his forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat. A soft voice was clucking over him.
But this wasn’t Cori, either. He knew those hands. He pulled himself completely out of his dream and slowly peeled his eyes open.
“Mom.” He was breathless. It hurt to talk. His throat must have swollen up.
She sat down on a chair next to his bed and handed him a bottle of water with a straw, helping him to lift his head enough to take a drink.
Even that small effort hurt.
He hated being sick.
“Where’s Cori?” he rasped, after letting his head drop back onto the pillow.
“Downstairs. She’s making you soup.”
Soup? She was here making soup. She was close. And she’d met his mom.
“Good. Because I love her.” In his fever-addled state, it was the only thing he could think of to say in response. He missed seeing his mother’s expression, though, because his eyes were already closing again.
Chapter 15
Cori was exhausted.
Yesterday, after Vonda had come back downstairs from checking on Ty, she’d looked almost like she was in shock. Cori had been alarmed and leapt into action, ushering Ty’s mom to a chair and bringing her a cup of tea, fussing over her like she was the sick one.
Vonda had seemed to collect herself quickly enough, and they’d spent the next hour chatting about Cori’s work, Charlotte, and Vonda’s psychology practice. But strangely, Vonda hadn’t asked her a single question about her relationship with Ty. It was as though she’d already gotten all the information she needed to know.
When Ty’s mom had left, after the soup was done, she’d pressed a card into Cori’s hand with her cell number on it, asking Cori to text her with updates about how Ty was doing.
Which, right now—at half past two on Sunday afternoon—still wasn’t so great. But his fever was down and he at least wasn’t sweating bullets anymore.
Nothing like the flu to remind one just how fragile people could be.
Cori had spent the night on the floor next to his bed, not wanting to lie down next to him and disturb him, but too worried to sleep far away. He’d woken up a couple of times to go to the bathroom, and she’d made him drink and try to eat. For the most part, he’d kept it down, but the effort wiped him out every time.
He’d barely been awake all weekend. In fact, he was still sleeping upstairs while she packed up her things in the kitchen. She wished she didn’t have to go, but the drive was going to be long, and she needed to get some rest tonight before heading in to work tomorrow.
These days, any time she had to actually be in the office and deal with Alex and the other reporters, it did nothing but drain her emotional energy.
Not exactly the career you’re supposed to love, is it?
She’d just tucked her toothbrush into her bag when she heard Ty calling out from upstairs.
“Cori?”
She grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge and ran up to him, taking the stairs two at a time. He was half-propped up on a pillow when she walked into his room, giving her a wan smile that made her heart flip with happiness.
“You’re better.”
“Getting there.” He grimaced and brought a hand to his head. “Talking still hurts, though.”
She set the juice down on the nightstand next to him and opened the bottle of painkillers, shaking out two and handing them to him with the juice.
He took them like a good patient, sipping at the liquid for a bit before he slowly set the bottle down and sank back into the pillow.
Poor guy. He was so wrung out. But he’d be fine, she was sure of it. The sight of his eyes no longer glazed over with fever reassured her.
“Thank you for taking care of me, gorgeous. You didn’t have to come all the way out here. But I’m glad you did.”
The look he gave her was so full of feeling that she nearly had to turn away. I feel the same way, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t. Not until she’d told him the truth. Or maybe at the same time . . .
Either way, she had to.
He reached for her hand. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have a nice weekend together. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
She shook her head. No. She didn’t want to hear it any more. The sweet words, the goodness of him. She didn’t deserve any of that. She had to tell him. She took his hand, but she looked down at her feet, unable to find the courage to meet those emotion-filled eyes.
“Ty.” She began softly, so that her voice wouldn’t make his head hurt even more. “There’s nothing to make up. I did this because I wanted to. Because I-I care about you.” She gulped. “And that’s why I need to say something important to you. Something I should have told you a long time ago, but somehow I convinced myself that it wouldn’t matter. But I can’t keep it from you any longer. You need—you deserve to know. I know this is a terrible time because you’ve been sick, but I have to leave now, and I think it’s as good a time as any to tell you—”
She stopped, taking a deep breath, before continuing on. “I was sent to write an exposé on you right after your fight with Gilroy. That was why I was there in the first place. Someone paid Gold Cup—I still don’t know who—to get dirt on you, and my boss sent me to do it. He told me to get close to you to get all the information I could. And I-I did it. I mean, at first I thought that’s what I was doing. But then this turned into so much more and I . . .”
His grip on her hand slackened, and she lifted her head to look up at him, the words trailing off.
He was fast asleep.
Shit.
He didn’t seem to have heard a word she’d said.
Was the universe conspiring against her? Or maybe in support of her?
She wasn’t even sure anymore. But she didn’t want to wake him again. He needed his rest, and she had to get back to Norfolk. It was getting late.
Slowly, she withdrew her hand from his and gently laid it on the bed.
“I love you, Ty,” she whispered, then tiptoed out of his room and back downstairs. She’d leave him a note asking him to call her when he felt up to it, and she’d figure out a way to see him again. To actually tell him.
She rummaged in her bag for a pen and paper to leave him a note, but something colorful caught her eye. After Ty had told her he planned to meet with Belgrave, she’d wanted to contribute somehow, to show him how much she cared about him and supported his dreams. She’d put together a proposal for a PR plan for his program, with ideas about how to get it going, printed out a document with her thoughts, and then further marked it up with highlighter and rainbow sticky notes.
Well. At least he could still follow his dream, even if it would be without her. She pulled the papers out of her bag and left them on the table along with the note.
She signed it, With love.
* * *
Ty woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, but apart from that he was fine. No more horrible chills. No more pain in his bones. It seemed the worst had passed.
But Cori was gone.
He held her note in his hands and tried to picture her saying the words. With love.
And he wanted to say it back. Say the real thing, not just a salutation and a good-bye kiss. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but not over the phone. He wanted to see her and say
it in person and show her how he felt.
He called her, and she answered almost immediately. “Ty. Hey. How are you feeling?” She sounded as ragged as he’d felt this past weekend.
“I’m all right. Better, anyway. How are you? Did you get sick, too?” It would kill him if she had.
“No. Just tired. I’ll catch up in a day or two.” She sounded distant, though, but he wasn’t surprised. She’d come all the way down to Charlotte just to help him. And she had helped. She’d made him feel so much better, but then she’d had to turn around and drive back after working so hard for him.
“I owe you a date.” He tried to make it sound not as solemn as he meant it, and it seemed to work because she laughed weakly.
“You don’t owe me anything. I didn’t do anything.”
“You drove for nearly half a day in the span of a weekend just to take care of me while I was sick. That’s not nothing.”
“But I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again, so don’t make a big deal out of it.” She sounded teasing, but there was an odd tightness in her tone.
He sighed, but before he could argue some more, she spoke again. “Hey, sorry. Ty, someone’s calling me on the other line. Do you mind holding on just a second?”
“No, go ahead. I’ll be here.”
She clicked over to the other call and he waited, running his finger over those looped letters. With love.
He wanted her love. He wanted to give her his.
But when she came back on, her voice was tight and high. Panicked. “Ty, I’m sorry. It was my dad. I can’t—my mom—she’s hurt and—”
He tensed. “Wait a sec. Cori. What? Slow down. What’s wrong? Something happened to your mom?”
“Yes. She was in a car accident. A bad one. Some drunk driver—” He could hear her breathing hard, sounding like she was gulping back sobs. “She’s in the hospital back home. Near D.C. I’m going to drive up there right away. I’m so sorry because I just—I wanted to see you again. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Hey, gorgeous. Hey, it’s okay. There’s plenty of time. Don’t worry about it. Go to your mom, okay? Call me if you can, just because I care about you. But no big deal if you don’t have time. Your mom comes first.”
She did sob then, a breaking, wailing thing that made the phone shake. “Ty, you have no idea—God, Ty, the way I feel about you . . . I have to tell you.”
She was too wound up right now, and he frowned. He thought he knew what she was going to say. That she loved him. He loved her, too, but he didn’t want her to say it like this, as much for herself as for him. She seemed like she was coming unraveled, and an emotional confession like that would be too draining.
He wanted to be there for her, like she’d been for him, but he couldn’t well follow her to the hospital and distract her from her mom’s injuries. So instead he made a soft shushing sound and crooned, “It’s okay, baby. We’ll talk soon. I promise.”
Chapter 16
“Cori?”
“Mom. Oh my God, Mom.” Cori stepped into the hospital room, trying to hold back tears at the sight of her mother in traction. She’d gotten here as quickly as she could, but it had still been over a day since her mother’s accident.
Mom had already gone through surgery and been moved to a recovery floor. Dad had met Cori downstairs and brought her up, but he was hanging back in the hallway to give Cori and her mother a little time alone.
From one sickbed to another. It felt like a sign. Like maybe her life was falling apart.
Like maybe it already had.
“Oh, God. I can’t believe—I just—oh, I’m so glad you’re alive!” She rushed forward, wanting to hug her mom, or something, but she stopped at the edge of the bed, not sure where to begin.
Both of Mom’s legs were in casts and her head was wrapped in a thick bandage. She looked so fragile and in pain.
Cori had rushed here as soon as she could after she got the news, but arranging things with work had taken time. Alex had agreed to let her take the time off during the week without pay, and she’d have to make up the vacation days she didn’t have with overtime, but he’d finally let her go with a warning that she still had a story to turn in after this coming weekend’s races.
She hated him.
But now was not the time for dwelling on that. She’d have to take care of it at some point, but right now . . .
One thing at a time.
After she’d handled work, she’d thrown clothes into a bag, locked up her house, and gotten back in the car for another painfully long drive, this time in the opposite direction from Charlotte, to the hospital where her mom was a patient. The same hospital where both her parents were surgeons.
She was exhausted, sad, and scared, and her conscience was so heavy with the weight of how she’d deceived Ty that she couldn’t keep the tears at bay. She could feel them running down her cheeks, sliding over her jaw.
Cool fingers reached out and wrapped around Cori’s. At least Mom’s arms hadn’t been fractured, too. But those two slim, pale limbs, sticking out of her hospital gown, while the rest of her was broken only drove home how close they’d come to losing her.
“Hey, baby. It’s okay. They’re taking really good care of me. This is our hospital, after all.” She managed a wan smile, which perversely only made Cori cry harder.
Mom shushed her gently. “I know this is a shock, honey. It was a shock to me, too, I’ll admit. But I’m going to be okay.” She breathed out a laugh. “I want it too badly not to be.”
Cori laughed, then, too, sniffling at the same time. “I guess this is a time when I should be glad you’re just as stubborn as I am.”
At those words, her mother’s face grew serious. “That reminds me, sweetheart. I thought of something, right after that guy’s truck hit me.”
Cori gasped at the image, but Mom kept talking. “I realized that I never said I was proud of you. I know we had our differences about you leaving the med school path to go into journalism, but in the end you stuck with what you wanted and stayed true to yourself . . . and you’re doing it. I’m sorry I’ve been so graceless about not having my dreams for your life come true. Because they blinded me to the truth. You’re a fighter, baby. You go after what you want, guns blazing, and you don’t let anything stop you. That’s what I should have been proud of all along. What I am proud of. Because even though it has caused us our share of arguments in the past, it is also something that makes you the amazing woman you are. You are as incredible as I knew you would be, at whatever you put your mind to.”
Mom stopped and smiled, panting a little bit from the effort of talking, then added, “I know it’s a bit much for the moment, but I had to say it right away. I have a second chance by some miracle, and I’m not going to waste it.”
Cori gaped at her.
You stayed true to yourself. You’re a fighter.
It was what Ty had said to her, too. That she was something truthful. Someone who fought for what she wanted.
Except she was a liar who had actually considered breaking a promise and betraying the man she loved. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized sooner how wrong she’d been. That wasn’t the kind of person she’d been raised to be.
The tears came back in full force.
“Baby. Cori . . .” Mom was frowning, her face pulled into a grimace, and Cori realized belatedly that her tears must be hurting her mother even more on top of the pain from her injuries.
“No, no, it’s okay.” She stifled her cries and rubbed her mother’s arm. “I’m sorry. You must be suffering. You need your rest.”
“The pain isn’t so bad, actually. I have to admit that I’m enjoying being on the receiving end of the morphine drip.” Her mother gave a weak laugh, and Cori managed a smile. “But maybe I am a bit drowsy . . .”
It wouldn’t be the first time someone I love fell asleep on me during an important conversation, she wanted to joke, but Mom would want to hear the story behind that, and then she’
d struggle to stay awake and Cori would have to confess that she was in love and what she’d done to make it go wrong.
And then Mom would be truly disappointed in her for a damn good reason.
Because Cori hadn’t actually stayed true to herself. She hadn’t really fought for her career—she’d taken the easy way out and compromised who she was by deceiving a man that meant more to her than anything, her job included.
She’d failed Ty, she’d failed her mom, but most importantly . . . she’d failed herself.
* * *
Ty stared at his hands and waited for Mike Belgrave to walk in to the office. He’d called up Mike as soon as he’d hung up with Cori on Monday and postponed the meeting by another day so he could recover completely.
He’d been able to get a slot on the director’s calendar for early Wednesday morning, and now here he was . . .
Trying not to panic.
It had seemed like a good idea when he’d called, but now?
He wasn’t so sure.
But he didn’t want to let Cori down. She’d been by his side while he’d been sick. She’d taken him seriously and urged him to fight for what he wanted. He loved her, and he owed it to her to be the man she saw in him.
Not a coward.
They hadn’t talked since she’d left to go be with her mother and he missed her. Not being able to hear her voice the past couple of days had hit him hard with how much he needed this woman in his life.
But he hadn’t wanted to push that much emotion on her right now. He’d thanked her over text for the PR plan she’d made and told her she was awesome, and since then they’d exchanged a couple of short messages about her mom’s condition.
Otherwise, there were no nightly phone calls, no conversations about books, and certainly no face-to-face time for kisses and hot nights.
He wanted to make her happy, now and forever. Maybe it was too soon to say that, but he was going to say it, anyway. He loved her, and he knew he couldn’t be whole without her. When she came back, he was going to tell her that.