Entangled: Surrendering the Past (Surrendering Time Book 2)

by Julie Arduini

  He leans forward, a mischievous grin spreading. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your smile?”

  I’m just as mesmerized as I stare into his mint green eyes.

  He starts the kiss, and for a couple seconds I forget I have to tell him about my week.

  “Will, wait.” I move back.

  He chuckles and grasps my shaking hand. “I know.”

  “You do? How?”

  “I guess when you feel the exact same way, you understand it when you see it.”

  Wow. I don’t give him enough credit for being understanding.

  “So, you want me to explore this?” I wipe my hand on my sweater.

  His eyes widen and he pulls me in for a tight hug. “Honey, I can’t think of anything I’d like more.”

  Wait. What?

  “Will, I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. What do you think I mean?”

  “That cliché is true. With you gone during the week I realize how much you mean to me. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Looking at the expression on your face, I believe you’re ready to say you love me as much as I love you. And that it won’t be long before there’s another engaged couple in Speculator Falls.”

  A nervous laugh evolves into a hacking cough. I jump from the couch to get a glass of water and spot my sneakers. If I skid to a stop to put them on and run, would it kill the mood? If so, is that so bad? Because the expression on Will’s face resembles a lovesick puppy. And I just plain feel sick.

  “Carla? You okay?”

  I paste a smile and try to find a giggle among the hacking. “Yes, swallowed wrong.” I ignore the running shoes and get the water. After a couple swallows and a few deep breaths, I return to the couch.

  “Did my confession make you cough?” Will grins, leaning in for a kiss.

  “It was a little unexpected.” I hope returning the affection distracts him. I’m not ready to explore my feelings. Especially when I need to confess Wayne’s proclamation.

  “I don’t mean book the church for next week. I know you’ve had a lot of hurt through the years and you’ve said we need to go extra slow. We’re in a good place even with the distance. Wouldn’t surprise me if we, you know, make this last.”

  His explanation calms my heartrate, and I reach for his hand and lace my fingers through his. “Thanks, Will.”

  “For what?”

  “Being you. Understanding me. Believing in us.”

  He chuckles and squeezes my hand. “You make it easy.”

  And to keep things simple, I settle in on the couch, holding his hand, and deciding this isn’t the time to tell him about Wayne’s feelings for me.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  After stopping at The Four Corners for donuts Saturday morning, I knock on Jenna’s door. She opens it and I’m impressed to see her brunette hair in a high ponytail.

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I know you’re going to be so much help with the wedding.” Jenna gives me a quick hug.

  I lift the donut bag. “I thought a sugar rush would help.”

  Jenna grabs the sack. “You’re so smart.” She ushers me inside. “Mocha? I cleaned my machine and the frother is ready.”

  That girl and her fancy coffee.

  “No, thanks. Once you’ve worked in the sheriff’s office, it’s hard to drink anything that uses a frother.” I take off my coat and place it on the back of one of the breakfast nook chairs.

  She sits on the couch. In front of her, the coffee table’s stacked high with wedding magazines. A trace of glaze sticks to the edge of her mouth. “I don’t know why I can plan all the events at the senior center and can’t decide on anything when it comes to my own wedding. Mom offered grandma’s dress, so I at least have that. But nothing else.”

  I sit beside her and grab a chocolate iced cake treat. “So, you don’t know the date? The colors? The bridesmaids?”

  Jenna brushes sugar off her jeans. “Carla, I don’t even know where to have the wedding. My family is in Ohio. My friends and my life are here.”

  “Okay. I have an idea. Close your eyes.” Jenna closes them, then they pop back open.

  “Are you going to eat the rest of the donuts?”

  I roll my eyes. “No, silly. Just do it.”

  She sighs. “Okay. Done.”

  “Take a couple seconds to focus.”

  Jenna takes a deep breath and exhales.

  “Now, I’m going to say a quick prayer.” I shift so I’m even closer to her. “Heavenly Father, we ask that this be a productive meeting this morning. Help Ben and Jenna have the wedding You desire them to have. More than that, be the head of their marriage. Guide them in all things. Give Jenna clear direction on the plans she needs to make today. Thank You for all You have done, are doing, and are about to do in her life. Amen.”

  She opens her eyes. “Thanks. I’ve been running around so much; I didn’t even have the sense to pray about the wedding plans.”

  “Were you able to picture the wedding? Is there a particular season you imagine it taking place? Can you see yourself at a church, or outside? Anywhere specific at all?”

  Jenna nods. “It’s funny you ask. When you said the prayer, I could see Ben and me at the altar. Here, in Speculator Falls. I’ve wanted my parents and Meg to see where I work, and where Ben and I will live. I guess there’s no better time for them to visit than for my wedding.”

  I smile. It feels good to see plans come together for my best friend. As she continues to talk about them, I think about my own situation with Will and Wayne both declaring feelings for me. I wish I could have answers as fast as Jenna.

  “I hear a car coming up the drive. Probably Sara. She said she might stop by.” Jenna stands and walks over to the door. “It’s her. I’ll be right back. I’ll see if she needs help.”

  As long as I’ve known Sara Bivins, she’s rarely needed help. She’s the matriarch of Speculator Falls and is always helping others. Jenna’s going to have an amazing grandmother-in-law.

  The two enter the house and Sara waves. “Hello, Carla. How’s beauty school?”

  I stand and offer her my seat. “Busy, but good. This week we start haircutting.”

  Sara sits and pats her snow-white hair. “Great. I’m due for a trim. You can always practice on me.”

  Jenna carries a chair from the breakfast nook and places it across from the couch, so I can sit. “Carla helped me realize I want the wedding here in Speculator Falls. And you know, it was April when I moved here. Met Ben. I’d like to get married then.” The ideas keep coming.

  Sara claps her hands together. “April. I love it. A new beginning, especially here in the Adirondacks as the snow starts to melt away and new life begins to shows up. If you want, I have a friend in Glens Falls that does beautiful arrangements with the mountain bluet. It’s the perfect Adirondack flower for spring. I’d be happy to pay for your flowers as my gift to you and Ben.”

  Jenna leans over to give Sara a hug. “You’re such a blessing, Sara. I’d like to make that the color of the bridesmaid dresses, too. You two are the best. Everything feels like it’s coming together, and I owe it to both of you.”

  With a meager smile I sit back and listen to Jenna and Sara plan. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to picture my future, and the man in it. Thing is, thanks to the overwhelming reality that two men have declared feelings for me this week, the only image I can conjure is me and Noah.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Weekends fly by even faster now that I’m in school and living elsewhere during the week. Already church is over and although I need to go home and pack, I linger at the altar. I never thought I could relate to Queen Esther, but Pastor Reynolds gives ample proof the orphan struggled with making the right choice.

  “Hi, Carla. Is there anything I can pray with you about?” Brooke Reynolds rests her hand on my arm.

  “My decisions aren’t quite life and death, but I have choices to make that affect a lot of people. Most of all, Noah. I don’t want to mess that up.”
My voice catches on the emotion building within me.

  “You know what impresses me in Esther’s story? It’s so simple I missed it for a long time.” Brooke’s smile is so warm and comforting, I’d love to talk with her all day.

  “I don’t know. Her courage?”

  “She certainly possessed that when the time to act was on her. No, I’m thinking more about the King. He had four hundred women to choose from. Those women had a year to prepare through beauty treatments and training. He chose Esther because she wasn’t like the others. She was set apart on so many levels, and Xerxes saw that in her.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Will wearing his favorite bright orange hunting jacket.

  “She could have played it safe, but she didn’t.”

  Question is, what’s safe? The father of my son that I don’t think I love? Or Will, the teddy bear who would move mountains if I asked him to?

  “That’s true, Carla. What motivated her to do the right thing was she took the time to pray, and she asked everyone else to do the same. It made all the difference.”

  Prayer. My challenge to Jenna.

  “Do you mind if I take a moment to pray for you?”

  I nod and close my eyes.

  Brooke moves her hand to my shoulder. “Father God, Carla needs to hear from You, and how You long to lavish your love on Your daughters. Give her wisdom from heaven. Peace that passes all understanding. And a covering through the process that would protect her and Noah from the true defeated one. We give You the glory, Lord. It’s in Your name we pray, Amen.”

  “Thanks, Brooke. I’m going to keep praying and trust God to show me.”

  Will walks toward me, and my stomach does a mini flip as he stands next to me.

  “He’s faithful, Carla. He’ll give you exactly what You need.”

  I know Brooke means God, but I feel like it could be the same answer when I think about Will.

  She smiles. “You two go on, I know you need to get back to Gloversville.” Brooke winks and walks away.

  Will squeezes my hand. “You okay?”

  I look up into his soft green eyes. “I’m getting there.”

  We walk to the lobby in search of Noah, still hand-in-hand.

  “He might be in the youth room. I’ll check.”

  As I approach the area where I think Noah’s at, a man turns the corner and smacks into me.

  “Carla. Sorry, I didn’t see you.” He reaches for my arm and doesn’t let go.

  “Wayne? What are you doing here?”

  Chapter Ten

  Wayne’s tousled hair and dazzling smile take me aback as much as his presence at church. “I didn’t have to work today, and Noah’s been asking me for months to attend. I was actually looking for him.”

  I lick my lips in an effort to find words and say them. “Me, too. I think he helped in the nursery during service. That’s great that you used a free morning to be here.”

  Wayne squeezes my shoulder. “Carla, I mean everything I’ve said. I’m committed to creating a lasting bond with my son. And, if you’ll have me, I’ll make sure I treat you as the amazing woman you are. I should’ve acted that way toward you from the beginning.”

  My shoulder radiates heat even after Wayne removes his hand. Before I can reply, Noah walks up behind him.

  “Hey, Mom.” He looks to the man wearing a paramedic coat. “Dad! You came!”

  Wayne turns and hugs Noah. Just as I pivot and face the lobby, Will walks up.

  “I wondered where you were. Wayne? I didn’t know you were here.” Will smiles and offers his hand. The two men shake. Noah stands still, his eyes darting back and forth between us.

  “Will, good to see you. I had today off and thought I’d take Noah up on his invitation. So, you and Carla are spending the day together?”

  I cough as soon as I hear my name.

  Will doesn’t seem to notice my growing anxiety. “We are. And you know, Wayne, you’ve been so kind in letting me watch Noah when Carla’s away that I want you to be one of the first to know.”

  I clear my throat. “Know what?” My voice sounds more like a screech.

  Will drapes his arm around my shoulder. “Carla and I are giving serious thought about our futures. I think you can expect a wedding announcement soon.”

  No. I’m not ready for this. I could entertain the thought on the couch. But this?

  Wayne’s smile disappears. “Really? The talks have been recent?”

  My heart feels like a basketball pounding double-time down the court.

  Wayne clears his throat. “She’s a great catch, Will.”

  Will’s beaming. “That she is. I promise I won’t disrupt the good thing you have with Noah.” He steps away from me and shakes Wayne’s hand again, then reaches for Noah. “Hey, bud. Let’s give your parents a minute. We can head to the car.”

  Noah looks back and forth between me and the two men. Is he as conflicted? Or, is he relieved to finally have some men in his life?

  The two walk away.

  “Are you sure, Carla?” Wayne barely whispers.

  I take a breath and try to speak, but nothing comes.

  So, I turn and sprint away the best I can in my dress shoes.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  I’m still anxious thinking about Will’s declaration and how gracious Wayne seems. My entire drive back to Gloversville, confusion jumbles my thoughts. Did I make the right choice? Then it hits me, I didn’t really say anything. Groaning, my breakfast lurches in my stomach. Did I really stand there and do nothing? Yep. That was me.

  When I enter the lobby area first thing Monday morning, Brandi hands me a coffee mug with the school logo on it, full of brown steaming liquid.

  “Good morning, Carla. Ready to start haircutting? Rose wanted everyone to know these mugs are for you to keep. A little something to encourage you.” Brandi pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

  The cup is warm against my hands and the contents a balm against my dry throat. “I’ll have to thank her. My guess is you made the coffee, so I appreciate that, too. Although, I probably shouldn’t drink too much or I’ll get jittery.”

  Brandi giggles. “No worries. You’re just using the heads today.”

  I smile and walk upstairs to the classroom.

  Mitzi, Sandy, Daniel, and Claire are already in the room and seated.

  “Hey, Carla. Did you have a good weekend?” Mitzi waves me over.

  Define “good.”

  “It was interesting. What about you guys?” I place my drink on the table between Daniel and Claire.

  “Boring. I worked all weekend at The Taco Shack.” Sandy rolls her eyes.

  “I babysat.” Mitzi reaches for her textbook inside her backpack.

  “I read the textbook.” Daniel offers.

  All heads turn in his direction.

  “You went through the entire thing?” Claire’s eyes widen.

  Daniel shrugs. “You ladies don’t understand. I have to be an amazing stylist. Do you know how many strikes I have against me?”

  Mitzi raises her hand. “Because you’re intense with a terrible attitude with the public?”

  I’m glad I’m not sipping my coffee because it would have spewed all over Daniel.

  “No, and thanks for that, Mitzi.” He sighs. “I’m a male in a female dominated industry as far as the Adirondacks go. We live in an isolated part of the state, especially when winter arrives. I plan to open a shop in a tourist area, so I have to earn a client list that will keep me going all year long. And, my dad’s a doctor. This wasn’t on his list of dreams come true when I announced my plan to do this.”

  The room is suddenly quiet.

  Sandy shifts in her chair, her leather squeaking as she moves. “Dude. That’s rough. Why are you putting yourself through it?”

  Another sigh. “Hair is like art to me. Stereotypes aside, my grandma did hair, and I enjoyed watching her create magic. I love Lake George and I want to do this. Although I can’t help people with
medicine like my dad, I hope I can by giving them confidence.”

  His intensity makes sense.

  Claire flips that blonde hair of hers. “I can relate to some of what you say. You’re good, Daniel. You’ll be just fine. Me? I’m average, if that. I could read the book all day long and I’d still be a mess at this. But I want to keep my mom’s legacy alive.” Claire’s natural beauty makes it difficult to take her seriously, but she has our attention. “Anyway, funny what brought us here. Sandy, how about you?”

  “It’s the lure of scissors, isn’t it?” Daniel smirks.

  Sandy, with her dark clothes, hair, and makeup, looks like she could jump up and throttle him. “You’re hysterical. You know what? I’m not so different than the rest of you. I think of all of this like art, too. With all my tats and piercings I get that I won’t fit into every work environment, and I don’t want to. I think I could rock a kid haircut or a mom perm. Carla? Your turn. Why cosmetology? Personally, I think your sheriff job was much more interesting.”

  I remember way too many nights on duty when a babysitter was taking care of Noah. Domestic abuse calls. Drunken arguments to break up around the county. No thanks.

  “It wasn’t as glamorous as you think, Sandy. For me, law enforcement paid the bills. My dad was a cop and when I became a teen mom, I was willing to do whatever it took to not have him disappointed in me.” I look to the ground so I don’t have to look at anyone or their reactions. “They paid for my training, and that was my career. But I always looked forward to friends asking me to trim their bangs or color their hair. Last year an elderly man who believed in me left some of his inheritance to me and stated I needed to use it for this, and to help me open a shop. So, here I am.”

  I glance around but can’t tell from their faces what they’re thinking.

  “That has to be the most amazing story I’ve ever heard. You should write a book.” Claire says.

  Right. The teen mom who leaves the sheriff’s office to cut hair, all while waffling between two men. There’s a book people will rush to read.

  “You’re too kind. But I don’t think my story is that interesting.”

  Ella rushes through the class door with a minute to spare.