by Anya Nowlan
“Why are we even talking about this when you’re getting married to that girl who was here earlier? How is your fiancée going to feel when she finds out you cheated on her?”
River shook his head, not looking nearly ashamed or repentant enough for Kate’s liking. In fact, he chuckled a little. The fucking nerve of him!
Does he think I’ll be okay with being the other woman? If he does, he really doesn’t know me at all.
“I don’t have a fiancée. What you didn’t hear was the part where I told my father I am not going to marry Diamond. Yes, I have a history with her. We dated a long time ago, but I haven’t seen her in years.
“My father heard from Dyson that I was in heat, so he showed up with her in tow, all set to get ready for the nuptials. She was arranged for me. I never wanted her.”
A bitter edge was creeping into River’s voice. Kate remembered how he had told her his father was controlling and liked making decisions for him. There was a tradition among some shifters of arranged marriages, or at least so she’d heard, but could she trust River to tell her the truth?
Bile started to rise in her throat as she considered it, a cold sweat breaking out on her forehead. She clamped a hand over her mouth, feeling as sick if not sicker than she had before.
Not now…
“Are you okay?” River asked.
The words almost didn’t register as she ran to the bathroom, dry heaving all the way there.
She could hear River move in the other room, his steps growing closer as he followed her. She couldn’t do anything about it, though, falling on her knees and clutching the damn impeccably clean porcelain bowl with both hands. Her body shuddered.
“I’m fine, stay where you are,” she managed to get out in between vomiting.
To her surprise, he listened and respected her wishes.
She felt bad enough without having someone witness her spewing her guts out. She didn’t want anyone, not even River to see her this weak and helpless.
Luckily, this time the nausea passed more quickly. She brushed her teeth, giving herself a stern look in the mirror.
You’re a goddamn mess, her mind helpfully added.
She joined River in the bedroom when she’d gathered herself enough to face him.
I can’t raise a child with him, engaged or not.
“Must be something I ate,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m okay now.”
Nostrils flaring, River stepped closer, his hazel eyes boring into hers as he took a deep breath. He wasn’t buying it.
“What are you doing?” she asked, backing away.
He can’t possibly smell that I’m carrying his child. Can he?
He looked stunned for a moment before speaking, his voice almost a whisper.
“You’re pregnant.”
I guess he can.
The two words came crashing down on Kate like a ton of bricks. Not only were her suspicions confirmed, but River knew now, as well. A silence hung between them as he processed this news and she tried to figure out what to do next.
Her life would have to change, totally and irrevocably if she was going to give this child the life it deserved. That could never happen if she was involved with a mob boss, even if the mob boss in question was the only man in a long time to get her heart beating faster.
And the only man to get it pounding this fast.
With all these things going through her head, she forgot to look surprised, which did not escape River’s attention.
“You knew,” he stated, incredulous. “Were you going to tell me?”
Fuck. I can’t lie to him.
“No, I wasn’t,” she said, meeting his gaze.
Kate was prepared for his anger, but it was not what she got. Instead, he looked hurt and bitter, like she’d really struck a dagger in him this time. The image of him being so deflated sent an ache through her heart.
I’ve screwed up, royally.
Twenty-Six
River
This is not how I expected today to go.
Kate Walker, the assassin that caused his organization so much trouble and who he was supposed to kill, was now pregnant with his baby. Things had definitely taken a turn from when he was tracking her down and plotting her murder.
Now all he could focus on was keeping her and their unborn child safe. How fast things could change…
A child she wasn’t going to tell me about.
“Do you hate me?” he asked with a scowl, needing to know once and for all before they could go any further.
He was sure he wasn’t the only one developing feelings in this mess of a situation they were in, but he couldn’t afford to be wrong.
The distance Kate carefully kept between them melted away for a moment when she moved closer and took his hand in hers, her steely grey eyes glimmering with guilt. That was a step forward, at least.
“I want to, but I can’t. I haven’t been able to hate you for a while now, and it scares me. But things have gotten even more complicated. Do you really think we could be parents together? I mean look at us, we’re the definition of fucked up.”
She sounded incredulous, like she couldn’t imagine herself as a mother. Funnily enough, River could picture it easily enough. So easily, in fact, that he’d never seen anything quite so clearly.
Running a hand through his hair, he tried to quiet the roar reverberating in his chest. Of course, he wanted to be the father his child deserved. He had never thought about having a family, taking his line of work into consideration, but it seemed fate had made the decision for him.
He took another deep breath, drawing in Kate’s scent, now tinged with a unique hormonal undercurrent.
Mine.
“I admit, we’re not what anyone would call normal, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a shot. You think the Crimson Claws is a bunch of ruthless thugs and lowlifes, and there may be some truth to that, but it didn’t start out that way. I was looking for a place to belong after the Navy, and I knew there were a lot of shifters around who felt the same way as me – lost.
“I already knew how the business operated thanks to my father, so it just made sense to go that route. I didn’t think it would get this big. I have to admit, I can’t keep an eye on everything like I used to. There are too many people involved.
“That’s why I delegate things to my lieutenants, let them handle their districts and report back to me with the most important developments. And that’s where I’ve gone wrong. One necessity after another, and here we are.”
Kate listened patiently as he said things he had only ever thought before, never shared. It felt like she would be someone who would understand and he needed her to know what his intentions were.
Yes, he was the leader and founder of the Crimson Claws, but it didn’t make him a cartoon villain, twirling his mustache and tying girls to railroad tracks. He had been trying to make do with what life had given him.
Were all the decisions he made the right ones? Probably not, but they had made sense at the time. It was a shoddy excuse, but it was the one he had.
“Some of my lieutenants have turned out to be more ambitious and enterprising than I predicted, and not in a good way. That’s something I can’t deny. I’m sorry about what happened to your friend, Selina. I had no idea Parker was unstable enough to start a war over a girl he barely knew and who didn’t want anything to do with him.”
Kate stared at him, the off-white color of her blouse accentuating her creamy, smooth skin underneath. There was a softness to her face he hadn’t seen before as she reached out and placed a hand on his cheek.
Her touch felt good against his skin.
“I appreciate your openness. And I’m sorry for trying to keep my pregnancy from you. If it makes you feel any better, I only just realized it as well. Let’s concede we’ve both made mistakes and leave it at that for now, what do you say?”
“We are going to have to be a united front tonight,” River said.
“What’s happen
ing tonight?”
“My father and Diamond are coming over for dinner.”
“Oh.”
Kate’s flat, unenthusiastic reply reflected all of his own feelings. He couldn’t imagine anything he’d want to participate in less than being stuck at a table with his angry father and annoyed ex-girlfriend. Especially when he had a child and a mate to think about now.
At least there seemed to be a truce between him and his favorite assassin for a moment. That was a victory that he couldn’t undervalue.
The table was set, the food all Irish, just like his father liked it. Kate was perched on a windowsill, wearing a knee-length white dress that hugged her curves perfectly. They had decided that Kate would be included in the dinner from the start, as his father’s comment suggested she was going to be a topic of conversation.
“He’s not going to be happy to see me here,” Kate remarked, with a hint of satisfaction in her tone.
Whether it was because of Dornan’s reputation or what River had told her about him, she seemed to take pleasure in the thought of angering the man. That was another thing they had in common. River couldn’t deny, he was also looking forward to seeing his father’s face when Dornan walked in and saw Kate by his side.
It seemed he wouldn’t have to wait long, as Gunner appeared in the dining room shortly after River and Kate had made their entrance.
“Their car has arrived, sir.”
“Good. You can show them in.”
Kate hopped off the windowsill, smoothing out her dress. Her hair was curled, just like on the first night he laid eyes on her. She had only grown more beautiful to him since then, as he discovered more and more about her.
“Geez, I hope your dad likes me,” she said, putting on her best airhead voice and batting her lashes at him.
His laughter filled the room just as Dornan and Diamond stepped inside. His father immediately had a snarl on his lips as Diamond quirked a brow at Kate, surprised she and Dornan weren’t the only guests tonight.
“Is that who I think it is?” Dornan demanded, his voice booming.
“Father, I’d like for you to meet Kate.”
“Is this some kind of a joke? Why is she here?”
“Wait, is that the assassin lady?” Diamond piped up, but was promptly ignored.
Word really travels fast.
“She’ll be joining us for dinner. You wanted to talk about how to handle her, I thought she should be here for that discussion.”
Smiling all too sweetly, Kate reached out a hand, offering it to Dornan. His father scoffed at the gesture, looking down his nose at her.
“She’s the one that killed Leo. That man was the best lieutenant I’ve ever had, and she gunned him down in the middle of the street. I’ve been waiting to get my hands on her ever since,” he growled, taking a step closer now.
Kate wasn’t intimidated, standing tall next to him as she glared back at his father. Her tone was glacial when she spoke. River couldn’t have been more proud.
“Maybe if your precious Leo hadn’t been beating his wife and kids daily, he’d still be alive.”
She looked like a coiled spring as she waited for Dornan to respond, ready to jump at one of the most feared men in the nation if he made a move or said something she didn’t like. River decided to intervene, not keen on having a bloodbath on his hands. Today had been eventful enough as it was.
“Father, back off. Kate’s presence is not up for debate. You are under my roof and you’re going to play by my rules. If that’s not acceptable, you can leave right now.”
“You men and your never-ending pissing contests,” Diamond groaned. “Can we just sit down and eat? I’m starving.”
“That’s a wonderful idea,” Kate said.
That woman could really turn on a dime.
River gave his father one last warning look. Dornan looked like he had just swallowed something bitter, but the snarl left his lips at least.
They all sat around the table, with River and Dornan on opposite ends and Kate and Diamond between them, facing each other. The air was thick with unsaid threats and barely contained violence.
Maybe I should have had Gunner hide the knives.
Twenty-Seven
Kate
Diamond was the only one interested in eating as the most awkward dinner of the century limped on. Dornan and River kept staring at each other like they were going to leap across the table at any moment and lunge at each other’s throats.
Which, honestly, Kate was sort of expecting to happen sooner rather than later.
On her part, Diamond seemed oblivious to the tension, or she’d decided to disregard it on purpose as she swirled lettuce around her fork.
She was a beautiful girl, with big brown eyes a shade darker than her long, glossy hair. Kate could easily picture her and River together, despite the mental image causing her to grip her glass of water a tad too tightly.
Dornan obviously decided he had been holding his tongue long enough, avoiding looking at Kate and addressing River with steel in his voice.
“Why is she still alive?”
I’m sitting right here, she thought wryly, but decided to let River handle his father for now.
She took a sip and glanced at River, as if goading him on.
Yeah, River, why am I still alive?
“There are many reasons,” River replied, throwing her a meaningful look.
Kate couldn’t help but smile, even as she felt Diamond’s eyes studying her closely.
“Enough about her already, that’s not why we’re here,” Diamond complained, turning to River. “River, it’s been a while since we’ve been together, but I’ve never stopped thinking about you. I know this is all a bit sudden, but we can make it work. Our families need this, after all.”
The glass Kate had a death grip on was threatening to shatter as she struggled to stay silent. For all her attempts to put distance between herself and River, seeing someone else bat her lashes at him overwhelmed her with jealousy.
I’m being unreasonable, she told herself, taking deep breaths. I’m the one that keeps pushing River away. Maybe he’d be better off with Diamond? She’s definitely very open about being into him. Who am I to stand in the way of their obvious mob-addled happiness?
Giving Diamond a polite smile, River took a deep breath before answering. Kate was on the edge of her seat as she waited to hear what he was going to say. He could very well be growing tired of getting the cold shoulder from her, baby or no baby.
“We’ve had some good times together, yes, but we were kids back then. That’s not something you can base a marriage on.”
Yes! she almost squealed out lout, which would have been very out of character for her. Looks like the green-eyed monster is bringing out a whole new side of me.
The victorious grin she was wearing on the inside must have been reflected on the outside as well, as Diamond threw her an annoyed look. The woman got out of her seat and Kate couldn’t help but notice that the top buttons of her shirt were undone. Pair that with a short skirt and high heels and Kate didn’t have to ponder long to understand the implications.
Someone’s playing to win.
Diamond strolled over to a confused-looking River to perch on his knee with her hands wrapped around his neck. River looked like a deer caught in the headlights, tossing Kate a look. It would have been almost amusing, if Kate hadn’t been dealing with trying to talk herself out of stabbing Diamond in the neck for encroaching on her territory.
“I think we shared more than just some good times,” she cooed, leaning into him. “Remember that time when…”
Diamond’s voice trailed off into a whisper, and try as she might, Kate couldn’t make out what she was saying. Pulling away from River with a giggle, she spared a triumphant smile Kate’s way before moving to run her hands through River’s hair.
He looked distinctly uncomfortable as he tried to gently coax her off his knee. Diamond only wrapped herself more tightly around him, murmur
ing something under her breath.
Oh, this bitch has no idea who she’s dealing with, Kate thought, trembling with rage. River is mine!
Kate’s chair dragged across the floor as she shot up from her seat and strode over to Diamond, still sitting on River’s lap. Without even really thinking about what she was doing, she grabbed Diamond by the elbow and yanked her up, twirling her around until they were face to face.
“Ow!” Diamond exclaimed, looking at Kate like she had lost her mind.
Maybe I have.
That was one explanation to why she thought it was a good idea to fuck around with a tiger shifter female without a gun on her hip.
“What part of ‘he doesn’t want to marry you’ are you having trouble understanding?” she snarled.
There was some commotion at the other end of the table, prompting River to stand as well. Kate didn’t look around to confirm, keeping her attention on Diamond.
“Stay where you are, father,” he commanded with a growl.
Diamond huffed, tugging at her arm and freeing it from Kate’s grip. Coming to her senses, Kate let her pull away.
It must be the pregnancy hormones making me this crazy and possessive. What the hell am I doing?
Looking around, she could see that everyone was now standing and staring at her. Kate straightened her spine and flipped a curl off her forehead before meeting everyone’s gaze, one by one.
“What?” she asked, a challenge in her voice.
She was ready to go ten rounds with any of them at this point, tigers or not.
Diamond was rubbing at her elbow and shooting her wary looks as she made her way back to her own seat, getting away from Kate as fast as she could. She might have been a shifter but she was definitely more a lover than a fighter.
Dornan looked even more incensed than before, gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles were turning white, mimicking what Kate had been doing to her glass earlier. And then there was River, doing his best to suppress his ear-to-ear grin and failing spectacularly.