by Betty Neels
‘I expect they would if I drank them more often,’ she told him ingenuously. ‘Father knows a lot about them and he says that everyone, women too, should have a knowledge of them, even if they never get a chance to drink anything else but the cooking sherry.’
‘Your father is a most interesting man.’
She speared some salmon and popped it into her mouth. She had forgotten all about being awkward and disliking men; she felt, for the first time in weeks, composed and assured. It was a delightful sensation, and went, like the excellent claret, to her head just a little, so that she talked happily through the delicious trifle which arrived after the salmon, and well into the coffee, quietly encouraged by her companion, who, while not saying much himself, asked the right questions in the right places and looked interested. They sat a long time over their leisurely meal, and when at length he drove her back to St Athel’s, she thanked him fervently for her evening.
Jason had got out of the BMW too, and they stood facing each other under the bright lights of the Accident Room entrance. She looked up at him, glowing with her love so that her cheeks were prettily pink and her eyes shone, and he stared back.
‘Well, dear girl, that wasn’t such an ordeal, was it?’ he asked. ‘For a nice girl who isn’t so very plain, you made a great success of our evening.’ His smile robbed the words of any unkindness. ‘Looks don’t count in the long run, you know, Letitia, but charm does, and you have plenty of that—and mind you remember it. I dare say Karel asked you to go out with him?’ His voice had lost none of its calm, and when she nodded: ‘He’s a good chap—you’ll enjoy yourself with him.’
The happy glow faded; this then was why he had taken her out—not so much for the pleasure of her company but to prove to her that she didn’t need to worry about being dull or plain; that she could be an amusing companion for any young man who chose to ask her out—to break as it were the ice she had embeded herself in. A kindly act, but had he not, all along, begged her to consider him as an uncle? And now he had offered her avuncular advice!
She opened her eyes wide to hold back the tears, and managed to smile. ‘I’ll take your advice, Jason. It was a lovely evening.’ She offered a hand and had it gently engulfed. ‘I hope you have a good trip to Holland, and please give my love to Katrina.’
He was still holding her hand. ‘Oh, lord, I quite forgot that I was going to talk to you about her. Never mind, Margo has it more or less fixed up.’
She had no idea what he was talking about and when she asked all he said was: ‘She’ll tell you. Good night, dear girl,’ and he didn’t kiss her, though she had hoped that he would. She wished him good night too in a sober little voice, then went through the door he was holding open for her and ran across the bare, deserted expanse of the Accident Room and into the passage beyond without looking back. She made herself think of nothing at all while she got ready for bed, but the moment the light was out she was powerless to prevent her thoughts flooding back, and after a little while she allowed them to take over, lying with her eyes tight shut in the hope that sleep would come. It was a long while before it did, so that when she went on duty the next morning she looked washed out and her eyes felt like hot coals in her head.
It was on her way to the canteen that she met Margo, who stopped her with a sisterly: ‘Tishy, whatever is the matter? You look absolutely grim!’ And after a long look. ‘Have you got a cold?’
Letitia shook her head, admitting vaguely to feeling tired.
‘Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got that holiday next week, isn’t it? Katrina’s bursting with excitement.’ She paused and looked even more narrowly at Letitia. ‘You do know she’s going home to stay for a week or two?’
‘No.’ The surge of excitement made it impossible to say more.
‘Jason was going to tell you—haven’t you seen him since we were at Dalmers Place?’
Letitia nodded. ‘Yes, last night.’ She added: ‘He said he’d forgotten to tell me something, but he’d leave it to you—I didn’t think it was anything much.’
Margo looked a little amused. ‘Katrina had never been anywhere else in England but London and Dalmers Place, so she wheedled Jason into asking me if I’d ask Mother to invite her to stay—you see, she rather took to you, Tishy, and she wants to meet Paula. So I telephoned Mother and of course she loved the idea—you know how lost she feels with only Paula at home. He’s driving her down before he goes back to Holland. She’ll be there when you go on holiday.’
‘Yes.’ Did that mean that she would see him again? she wondered. ‘How long is she going to stay?’
Margo shrugged. ‘I’ve no idea, but you’ll be home for a week, won’t you—and Paula will be there—they’re just about the same age. If they get on well, I daresay Paula will be invited back. Nice for her.’
‘Lovely. I think I’d better go to the canteen…’
Her elder sister looked her over with affection. ‘Enough money for a good meal?’ she wanted to know.
Letitia nodded; food would choke her, there was far too much on her mind. She would go over to the home and make tea. She had drunk one cup of this calming beverage when she was called to the telephone.
‘A man!’ shrieked a voice up the stairs, and Letitia, her head stuffed full with Jason still, tore down to the ground floor, her shoes and cap off, intent on getting there before he should become impatient and ring off. Only it wasn’t Jason, it was Karel.
‘Dinner?’ asked his cheerful voice at the other end of the wire, ‘and how about dancing afterwards?’ And was she free that very evening?
She said yes without pausing much to think about it. Karel was fun to be with and perhaps an evening out with him would shake her out of this silly self-pitying state she had got into. On her way back to her room she wondered idly why he had asked her; certainly not because he fancied her, of that she was quite sure. They were very good friends, but that was all. Probably he wanted to tell her all about his blonde friend; even more likely, he had quarrelled with that young lady and was intent on making her jealous by taking Letitia out for the evening, something he could safely do since neither of them were emotionally involved. She drank her cooling tea and began to tidy her hair; she was adjusting her cap just so when a voice screamed up the stairs once more, begging her to go down to the telephone for a second time and adding a rider to the effect that it was a man again and would it be a good idea if Tishy had a telephone installed in her room so that the speaker might be saved the trouble of taking her calls.
She ran downstairs, making her excuses as she went, sure with childish faith that this time it would be Jason. It was. His voice, calm and friendly, sent a tingle of delight through her and took her breath, so that her hullo was gruff.
‘Ah, dear girl, I’m at your home with Katrina—I expect you know about that by now.’
‘Yes.’
‘I intended driving back straight away, but your mother’s offer of lunch has made me change my mind. I shall come up to London this evening and cross over tonight. Will you be free after tea?’
The tingle turned to a warm glow; he must like her just a little, if he was going to ask her out; even as she thought it she remembered she had just accepted Karel’s invitation. She said in a small voice: ‘I’m going out with Karel.’
‘You’ll enjoy that.’ His voice, though she strained her ear to catch any change in its tone, sounded as placid as it always did; she wondered if he had put Karel up to it in the first place, and the idea made her add snappishly: ‘Yes, I shall—he’s such fun.’ And then, because her feelings were threatening to overcome her: ‘I really must go, I’m on duty in five minutes.’
‘Of course, dear girl. Any messages for your mother?’
‘Please give her my love. I hope you have a pleasant trip home.’
There was no tinge of regret in his good-bye, so Letitia hung up and tore upstairs to her room to put on her shoes and emerge a few seconds later, looking neat and tidy and unnaturally prim—a magnificent
effort on her part when what she really wanted to do was to fling herself on to her bed and howl her eyes out.
There was no time to indulge in such weak feelings, however. She was kept hard at work until she went off duty, and the serious business of making the best of herself for Karel’s benefit took all her attention then—a waste of time and effort, it turned out, for although he was pleased to see her and took her to one of the trendier restaurants for dinner, it was obvious that his pleasure in her company was largely due to the fact that she made a sympathetic audience while he alternately sang the praises of the blonde and then, sunk in the depths of despair because of their recent quarrel, begged Letitia for advice.
And when they danced presently, he kept up a monologue in her ear, recalling how he and his blonde had danced together, and how wonderful a dancer she was, so that Letitia felt she had two left feet and ought not to be on the floor at all. All the same, Karel was a dear, and once he was on good terms with his girlfriend once more, or had found himself another one altogether, he would be quite his old self. As it was, he had spared no expense on their evening and when he took her back to the hospital, told her that she was a jolly good sort and kissed her in a brotherly fashion, observing that she was a nice girl, and she, heartily sick of his tepid compliment, thanked him with charm, wished him luck with his blonde and took herself off to her room, where she got ready for bed and presently, lying in the dark, indulged at last her overwhelming wish to have a good cry.
The week before her holidays went surprisingly fast; for one thing, they were busy in theatre, so that much of her free time was taken up with getting her clothes ready, and for another, Georgina came up to do some shopping and invited her to join her and Margo for tea at Fortnum and Mason, luckily on an afternoon when she was free, for she liked the elegant tea room and hoped that someone, during the afternoon, would mention Jason. No one did, though there was plenty of talk about Katrina’s visit. ‘A nice child,’ said Georgina. ‘You would think that being the youngest of such a large family she would be spoilt, but she isn’t—she’s clever, of course—they all are. That family has everything although none of them ever mentions it.’ She smiled at Letitia, listening avidly. ‘Have another of these little cakes, Tishy, I’m going to; I shouldn’t really, for I might get fat and Julius will tease me.’
Julius wouldn’t do anything of the sort, thought Letitia; he would love Georgina whatever shape she was; probably he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She sighed, wishing with all her heart that she might be loved like that. By Jason, of course.
She went home by train, with Margo to see her off at Paddington and the promise of her father to meet her at Exeter. The train was full and hot and she slept uneasily, waking finally just before they reached Exeter. It was nice to see her father waiting on the platform, she hugged him with delight and got into the car beside him and they drove through the busy city streets and out on to the Moretonhampstead road, and as they left the city behind them she felt the breeze blowing coolly through the car windows. ‘This is glorious,’ she told her father, and he smiled understandingly. ‘It’s splendid to have you home, Tishy,’ he told her fondly, ‘although a week isn’t long enough. That nice child Katrina seems to be enjoying herself, she and Paula get on very well together, but she’s looking forward to seeing you again. Jason brought her down, of course—a splendid man; knows about porcelain, too. He much admired that Minton parian figure…’
‘The dancer?’
Her father nodded. ‘He’s fortunate enough to have a pair—children with dogs. I imagine he has quite a collection of his own, I should dearly love to see it.’ He sounded wistful, so that she said robustly: ‘Yes, I daresay, Father, but you have some nice pieces yourself, you know—what about that Derby biscuit figure?’
Her parent brightened. ‘A splendid example,’ he agreed happily. ‘Jason assured me that it was one of the best examples he had ever seen.’
Jason, it seemed, had impressed her father. He had impressed her too, though in a different way, but there was no point in thinking about that now, so she asked about her sisters and kept the conversation strictly on the family for the rest of their journey.
It was wonderful to be home, to be hugged and kissed by her mother, embraced joyfully by Paula and Katrina, and then borne away to eat a huge tea with everyone talking at once, making plans sufficient to last a month, let alone a week.
‘What happened to the gipsies?’ asked Letitia.
Her father sighed. ‘They made a splendid recovery and discharged themselves two days ago. They’re back in their usual haunt and the boy came to fetch his dog only this morning.’
‘But it’s too soon.’
‘Yes, Tishy, by our standards it is, but not from theirs. Probably they’ll regain their strength twice as quickly as any of us soft-living people. They’re children of Nature, you know.’
She registered a silent resolve to go and see them for herself; it would have to be when Katrina wasn’t about though, she didn’t think that Jason would want his young sister to go with her. Her mind made up on that score, she flung herself into the enthusiastic plans for the week ahead.
The good weather held. They were able to go somewhere everyday, walking on Dartmoor, driving down to Dartmouth and Salcombe, laden with the picnic basket and with Shep taking up much of the back seat. Letitia drove, with Katrina beside her and her parents wedged in the back, and once there, they bathed and lay about in the sun and ate hugely, coming home in time to get tea before Paula got back from school. It was delightful. Letitia, lulled by fresh air and the peace and leisure of the countryside, felt her touchy nerves soothed, and even though she wasn’t happy, at least she was beginning to think sensibly. She could even listen to Katrina talking about Jason—something which she did very frequently—without her breath catching in her throat and her heart turning over. She assured herself that given time, she would be able to forget him; she had got over Mike, now she would get over Jason—sentiments which did her credit and held no water at all. Jason wasn’t Mike; he wasn’t just any man, she would never be able to forget him. All the same, she tried hard and by the Saturday morning, with only one day to go before she had to return to St Athel’s, she considered that she was well on the way to relegate him into his proper place in her life—a casual acquaintance whom it had been pleasant to meet but who could just as casually be forgotten. She assured herself of this fact repeatedly, with absolutely no success, although she reminded herself that it was early days yet.
Paula and Katrina were going over to the doctor’s house to play tennis after breakfast, which left Letitia free at last to visit the gipsies. She got up early, dressed without much thought as to her appearance in slacks and a denim shirt, and went downstairs to get breakfast. She had it ready by the time everyone else came down, and the moment the girls had gone she whisked through the chores, told her mother vaguely that she was going for a walk, and set off.
She was glad to reach the trees, for the sun was already hot on her shoulders, and once in their shelter she didn’t hurry, but poked around her as she went there was plenty to see; wild flowers of all kinds, a multitude of birds and the wood’s four-footed inhabitants. She whistled to the birds as she strolled along the path, then stood patiently waiting for them to reply, so that it took her some time to reach the path which would lead her to where the gipsies were camped in the clearing. She turned down it, still not hurrying; the girls wouldn’t be home for lunch, her mother wouldn’t mind if she got home late; it would be cold meat and a salad and she could help herself from the huge, old-fashioned larder. She paused to watch a blackbird, and when it flew away whistled to it. The answering whistle wasn’t one that any ornithologist would mistake for a genuine bird call, and Letitia turned round to see who it was. Jason, coming towards her.
He came without haste and nor did he appear eager, just his usual calm self, and she wondered crossly if he ever allowed any deep emotion to disturb him. He certainly wasn’t
displaying his feelings now, if he had any. His: ‘Hullo, dear girl,’ was uttered in a voice which, while friendly, held nothing more.
She stayed quietly, waiting for him to catch up with her and said in her turn: ‘Hullo. Have you come to see Katrina? She’s playing tennis at Doctor Gibbs, didn’t Mother tell you?’
He halted beside her. ‘Yes, but time enough to see her presently. Are you on your way to visit the gipsies, by any chance? Your mother said you had gone for a walk.’
They were making their way down the path, close together because it was so narrow. ‘Yes, they’re back—did you know? They discharged themselves and I wanted to see how they were getting on. It was too soon.’
He said almost the same as her father had done. ‘For us it might have been—they live nearer to Nature than we do.’
‘Have you come to take Katrina home?’ She had been longing to ask that, and now it had popped out.
‘Yes, your mother has asked me to spend the night here and go back tomorrow. I’ll give you a lift as far as the hospital, if you like.’
‘Thank you. Are you going back to your home?’
‘Yes—and staying there for quite some time, I hope. Katrina has visits to pay before she goes back to school and my mother will be back from visiting my sisters.’
She stopped to look at him. ‘Oh—your mother? You’ve never mentioned her…’ She went pink then because there had never been any reason why he should have done so, but he didn’t appear to notice her discomfiture.
‘She lives a few miles away from me,’ he told her. ‘We get on very well. My father died three years ago—he was a doctor too.’
‘I’m sorry. Your mother must be glad that she has so many of you.’
‘We like to think so. As a family we get on very well—just as your family does.’
They had come to the end of the path and there were the caravans once more, with the horses by the water and the lurcher lying in a patch of sunlight between the trees. He got to his feet the moment he saw them, his ferocious back changing to a pleased whine when he saw who it was. His welcome was boisterous, and Letitia, freed at last from his attentions, made a few ineffective attempts to brush down her slacks and was deeply vexed when Jason remarked: ‘Oh, leave it, dear girl, they surely can’t be worth all that attention.’ His amused eye swept over her so that she frowned quite fiercely. ‘Only a fool would come down here in anything else but jeans and a shirt,’ and she was even more angry when he answered: ‘I take it you keep an unending supply handy?’