by Betty Neels
‘Me?’ she exclaimed. ‘Heavens, no—supposing he had arranged to do something else with his evening.’ She wasn’t going to mention the blonde, after all, Karel had confided in her.
The tea came and she poured them each a cup and by the time she had done that, the eggs and chips had arrived, and since Jason began on his with every sign of enjoyment, she felt no need to conceal the fact that she was still hungry. She ate up her second helping with as much appetite as the first, polished off her share of the bread and butter and refilled their cups.
‘Fred cooks very well,’ she observed, not because she expected her companion to be interested in Fred’s prowess in the kitchen, but because it was something to say. The doctor agreed with her readily, admirably concealing the fact that he had never in his life before been into a place like the Cosy Café, and that egg and chips, while a wholesome and sustaining dish, had little appeal for him, especially at six o’clock in the evening. He had, in fact, been looking forward to a quite different meal in a quite different place, with a bottle of wine and Letitia in her green dress sitting opposite him. As it was, he stirred his strong tea and smiled across the table at her, putting her completely at ease and allowing her to forget that the dress she was wearing was last year’s and her appearance, while neat, was hardly breathtaking.
She offered him the sugar and asked: ‘Did you want to see me about something?’ and his answer was ready enough even if vague.
‘Well, I needed to see someone and it seemed a good idea as I had this unexpected day. I shan’t be coming over again for some time.’
Letitia digested this with a sinking heart, her eyes on her plate. So many times she had thought: ‘This is the last time,’ and now it really was. Even if Paula went to stay with Katrina, and she thought it very likely, there was little hope of her being included in the invitation.
‘Mind if I smoke?’ Jason’s voice cut across her thoughts and when she said no, she didn’t mind a bit, he lit his pipe and sat back, puffing gently at it while she finished her tea, then signalled to Fred, remarking: ‘You’re tired, aren’t you, dear girl? I’ve got the car here, I’m going to take you for a gentle run—just for an hour or so—you can go to sleep if you want to.’
She choked back the yawn which threatened and said brightly: ‘That’s awfully nice of you to suggest it, but it’s such a waste of your evening.’
‘No, I like a quiet run now and then.’ He added carelessly: ‘I intended going anyway, if you like to come along…?’
Put like that it was apparent that he wasn’t just making a polite suggestion. ‘Well, if you’re really going?’ she said a little inanely, and got to her feet, praised her supper to Fred and wandered to the door, conscious that she felt nicely full and more than a little sleepy.
They walked back to the hospital, talking trivialities, and when he helped her into the BMW, Letitia allowed herself to sink back into its comfort as he turned the car into the evening traffic and presently, down to the river, to go at a leisurely pace along the Embankment to Chelsea and over Putney Bridge, and when she asked him where they were going, his answer was: ‘Oh, follow our noses, don’t you think, dear girl?’ which naturally enough led them to Hampton and a pleasant side road alongside the river, but presently Jason left it and found his way to Cookham, and all the time he talked, a quiet flow of words which needed only the minimum of answers, indeed, thinking about it afterwards, she was quite unable to remember what he had talked about, only that it had been soothing and undemanding, and when he stopped outside a charming inn on the river bank and suggested that they had coffee, she agreed happily. After all, she wouldn’t be seeing him again; she might as well make the most of the evening. It was still warm and not late and they went through the inn and out on to the lawn beyond, where they had their coffee by the peace and quiet of the water.
‘This isn’t at all like Fred’s,’ observed Letitia. It struck her then that the doctor wasn’t really an egg and chips man; perhaps he was still hungry, for he was very large. ‘Did you have enough to eat?’ she asked a little anxiously.
A muscle twitched faintly at the corner of the doctor’s mouth. ‘Indeed I did—I found it a very decent little café, too. I liked the way Fred made sure that I really was a friend and not just being a nuisance.’
‘Oh, he’s always been like that; we’re allowed to go there in uniform, you know, and he’s proud of that and it makes him feel responsible.’
Jason nodded. ‘What happens to you when theatre closes down?’
‘I’ll be lent out to the wards, I expect—night duty, too. I shall’t like that—you see, it will only be for a few weeks, so I shall have to stay in my own room, not move over to the night nurses’ quarters, and that means I shan’t sleep a wink. People try to be quiet, but someone always drops something or forgets and puts a radio on loud, and there you are, awake for the rest of the day.’
‘No holidays left?’
‘Yes, three weeks, but everyone wants holidays now and I’ve just had a week and they’re short on the wards. At least, that’s what the Number Seven told me. If I had measles or something they’d manage very well without me.’
He laughed. ‘So they would. Shall we go? You’re on early in the morning, I expect?’
They went back a different way, through quiet stretches of road, their surroundings dim in the evening light. It was almost dark by the time they reached the hospital and the streets were quiet, too early for returning theatregoers, too late for anyone with a home to go to after their day’s work. Jason drew up outside the main entrance of the hospital and got out to open her door.
‘Did you enjoy your nap?’ he asked on a laugh.
Letitia had tried so hard to stay awake; not to miss a moment of his company. She said, her voice stiff with annoyance at herself: ‘I’m so very sorry, I tried to stay awake…’ She stopped, aware that she hadn’t put it very well, and he laughed again.
‘Would you have gone to sleep if Karel had been driving?’ he asked.
‘No, for he would never have given me the chance—you should have given me a poke.’
She wondered why he sighed as he put his arms around her. ‘This instead,’ he told her, and kissed her.
She was surprised, for she hadn’t expected that. She stared up at him, her emotions churning around inside her so that she really had no sense at all. Then she stretched on tiptoe and kissed him back, and then, when he did nothing about it, said in a hopeless voice: ‘Oh, Jason, good-bye,’ and fled through the door and across the entrance hall.
She reached her room without meeting anyone and began to undress, appalled at her behaviour, appalled too at the strength of her feelings when he had kissed her, but then no one had ever kissed her like that before; he had wiped out Mike’s milk-and-water efforts for good and all. And it hadn’t been fair, it had made her forget her good sense and she had made a fool of herself in consequence—and what a good thing, she told herself savagely, that she would never see him again.
She was brushing her hair with terrible ferocity when Angela put her head round the door with the offer of a cup of tea. ‘My goodness, Tishy,’ she declared, ‘you look as though you’ve been to your own funeral!’ and she wasn’t far wrong, decided Letitia gloomily.
Theatre worked flat out for the next week; as many cases as possible had to be dealt with before it was closed, otherwise when it re-opened the waiting list would be unmanageable. It meant that everyone on the theatre staff had to work longer hours and extra hard, but Letitia didn’t mind; it suited her mood to be so busy that she had almost no time to herself and no time, either, to think. She made the extra work an excuse for going to bed early and joining, only for the briefest time, the sessions of tea-drinking which were usual in the home, and on duty she did her work just as well as she usually did, only with a quietness which discouraged the others from the customary chatting whenever there was a moment.
It was Julius who cornered her at last, strolling into the recovery room when
the list was over for the day. ‘Busy afternoon,’ he observed laconically. ‘Thank heaven there’s another holiday just around the corner—which reminds me; I have something to ask you. Georgina is annoyed with me for forgetting…if I can arrange it, would you consider coming to Holland with us? Nanny’s going to her home while we’re away and Georgina thought at first that she could manage Polly and Ivo at Bergenstijn, but on second thoughts she isn’t so sure. She wants someone there so that if we wanted to go away for a few hours, or even a day, the whole household won’t be disrupted, and it has to be someone she knows and trusts. She thought of you. We must emphasise that you aren’t expected to take Nanny’s place, only be willing to take over if and when Georgina is away or caught up in the small amount of entertaining we do. Don’t decide at once, think about it for a day or two.’ He had gone before she had time to frame a single word.
She went along to see Margo after supper, perching on her sister’s bed and drinking a mug of tea while she repeated the doctor’s astonishing request. ‘And he didn’t stop for an answer,’ she ended. ‘He said think about it.’
Margo looked at her thoughtfully. ‘Tishy, I think I should go—after all, you’ll only be put on night duty until theatre opens again, and you know how you hate that. Julius can arrange it, I’m sure, and Georgina likes you, so you can be sure you won’t be overworked. I’ve been to Bergenstijn, remember, it’s well staffed and beautifully run.’
‘Is it anywhere near…I mean, is it in the country?’ Letitia longed to ask if Jason lived anywhere nearby. If he did, she assured herself silently, she wouldn’t go, but Margo’s answer made that unnecessary.
‘Oh, it’s on its own, nothing else close by, only a village, and that’s small. There’s a swimming pool and a tennis court and a gorgeous garden with a pond—you’ll love it. You’ve been looking a bit peaked, Tishy—that week at home wasn’t enough, a change of scene might do you good. I daresay Karel will be there for part of the time, as well as Cor and Beatrix and Franz—I don’t know about Phena. You’ll know everyone which will be nice, but do as you like, love.’
‘I suppose I might as well.’ It would be nice to see the country where Jason lived, even though his home was miles away from Bergenstijn, but at least it would be better than trying to imagine it, and Polly and baby Ivo would fill her days nicely; when she got back to St Athel’s the theatre would be going harder than ever. She would have no time to brood, and a good thing too. ‘I’ll go,’ she said, then drank the rest of her tea and went back to her own room. ‘I hope I’m doing the right thing.’
A sentiment echoed by Julius, miles away at Dalmers Place, sitting opposite Georgina in their sitting room. ‘If I weren’t your devoted slave, my darling,’ he pointed out, ‘I should have flatly refused to have anything to do with it.’
Georgina looked suitably meek. ‘Well, dear Julius, I hadn’t meant to tell you yet, but I did mention to Jason that we were thinking of asking Tishy to come to Holland with us, and do you know what he said?’ She beamed at her husband. ‘He said: “George, you’re an angel, I’ve been racking my brains how to get the girl over to Holland.” Don’t you think that was nice?’
‘I don’t know about nice, my love. I think that whatever you did or do it will make no difference in the long run. If Jason is serious about Tishy, then nothing will alter his purpose in marrying her.’
‘Now isn’t that a comforting thought?’ murmured Georgina.
Letitia didn’t see Julius to speak to until just before the afternoon list on the following day, when he came into the recovery room.
‘I’ve a letter for you from Georgina. I fancy she doesn’t trust my powers of persuasion. I’ll leave it in the duty room, shall I?’
Letitia laid the last of the airways neatly beside its fellows. ‘Thank you, though I’ve made up my mind already. I’d like to come and help you with the babies, if you really think I can be of some use.’
‘I’m sure of it, Tishy, and thank you. Georgina will be delighted. I’ll let you know in a day or two what the arrangements will be.’
She nodded. ‘What about Miss Phelps?’ The Principal Nursing Officer and a bit of a dragon in a nice way.
‘Leave her to me. As for clothes and so on, Georgina will telephone you.’ A remark which set up a pleasant enough train of thought in Letitia’s mind. Life would be quiet at Bergenstijn, but she would have to decide what to take of her rather meagre wardrobe; it kept her nicely occupied.
Georgina telephoned the next evening, just as Letitia was getting into the bath—indeed, she had actually got one foot in the water when there was a terrific thump on the door and a voice shrieked at her to go down to the telephone. She didn’t wait to dry the foot but flung her dressing gown about her person and pattered down the stairs, leaving damp marks as she went. It was only as she picked up the receiver and heard Georgina’s voice that she realized that she had been certain it would be Jason. Disappointment closed her throat as she said ‘Hullo’, but Georgina didn’t seem to notice anything wrong; she plunged at once into plans: they were to travel in three days’ time on the Harwich night ferry and would Tishy mind having Polly in her cabin? And what about clothes? Three weeks, she cautioned, it all depended on how long they would take over the theatre, but a fortnight at least. ‘So don’t bring too much,’ she went on, ‘just cotton dresses and slacks and a pretty dress for the evening. That lovely green thing you had on when you were here—everyone said how sweet it was—oh, and a mac. Julius said it was all right about your passport, but I thought I’d mention it…’
‘I already had a passport,’ Letitia assured her, and added diffidently: ‘You really think I’ll be useful if I come?’
‘Yes, Tishy, I do—Polly likes you, so she won’t mind not having Nanny and I won’t mind leaving both of them with you.’
‘Well, I’ll do my best—I’m looking forward to it. I didn’t expect another holiday quite as soon as this.’
Georgina laughed. ‘You wait until you’ve had Polly for a few hours before you say that, Tishy! Now, everything’s clear, isn’t it? Julius will come and fetch you, we can have dinner and then drive to Harwich, OK?’
‘OK.’
It was surprising how easily everything went; Miss Phelps didn’t seem to mind in the least that Letitia wouldn’t be available for night duty; she spoke rather loftily about helping those who needed help in an emergency especially when the person concerned was one of the hospital consultants, and Letitia wondered what on earth Julius could have said to her. And her parents, when she telephoned, sounded very calm about it all; it was her mother who wanted to know if she would be seeing anything of Jason, to which she could only reply that no, she imagined not. It was funny, when she considered the matter, that she had no idea where he lived. He had never mentioned it and neither had Katrina. She promised to send a card when she arrived and a letter each week, and her father gave her a message to pass on to Jason about some porcelain, despite Letitia’s certainty that she wouldn’t be seeing him.
It was a decidedly pleasant sensation to be wafted away from St Athel’s in Julius’s Rolls; she was tired, for she had worked until four o’clock that afternoon, but Julius, talking pleasantly about nothing in particular, revived her flagging spirits and they soared still further at Georgina’s warm welcome when they arrived. They ate their dinner without loss of time and got into the car once more, with Polly, in her nightie and dressing gown and fast asleep, on Letitia’s lap and Ivo in his Moses basket, sleeping too. At Harwich there was no delay. Julius drove on board and then with Polly in his arms, the two girls behind with the Moses basket and a porter with the luggage, led his small party to their cabins.
And very nice too, decided Letitia, looking round her. Small it might be, but it had everything she could need, even a shower, and the little brass beds looked very inviting. She tucked Polly into hers, refused the offer of a drink, wished her friends good night, and got ready for bed. She had never been out of England before and it was all rather
exciting; if she had been on her own she would have gone on deck and had a look round. Instead she contented herself with several peeps from the small window before getting into bed and turning out the light.
It seemed no time at all before the steward was calling her with tea and toast, and Polly, waking up too, demanded to come into her bed and share it with her. They were making short work of it between them when Georgina came in, sat down on the end of the bed and picked up a finger of toast to nibble. ‘It’s only six o’clock,’ she stated as Polly climbed into her lap. ‘Julius has arranged to leave the ship last so we can have breakfast before we go. Could you be ready in half an hour, do you think? I’ve fed Ivo, he’s asleep again, bless him. Did you sleep well?’
‘Like a top.’ Letitia drank the rest of her tea. ‘I’ll start on Polly now, shall I?’
Breakfast was a cheerful meal, with Polly perched beside her father and Ivo still asleep in his basket. The boat had been full and took some time to empty itself while they ate their way though bacon and eggs and toast and marmalade. By the time they had finished, almost everyone had gone; they went down to the car then and drove off the ship and through the Customs, on to the road leading away from the Hoek. Holland, thought Letitia excitedly. She stared out of the window and felt a thrill, even though the scenery was prosaic enough; and yet the houses that bordered the road were different, neat and square, the windows shrouded in blindingly white curtains.
Presently they joined the motorway to Rotterdam and there were no more houses, only flat green fields, very pleasant in the early morning. Rotterdam, when they reached it, she didn’t much care for; it was large and bustling and in the distance were the ugly outlines of the oil refineries. It was a relief to leave the crowded streets behind, and tear on towards Utrecht. But before they reached that city, Julius turned off the motorway into a quiet country road, winding through water meadows and small woods, with here and there a house or two. It was charming, and Letitia said so.