Annie was trying hard to keep her tone even. Just who did he think he was to come barging back into her life? Hadn’t she made her position perfectly clear?
Suddenly Raphael looked contrite. ‘I am sorry,’ he said. ‘I came in here like a bull in a…how do you say? Field? Shop?’
‘China shop,’ Annie answered automatically.
‘Whatever. Forgive me?’ he said, the boyish grin back on his face. ‘It is just that I too want this child very much. I have to be part of his life. Can you understand?’
‘Yes. Of course. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting you to come rushing over here, taking a job. Speaking of which, what happens after your job comes to an end?’
‘Oh, I will not go back to Spain—not until I can take my child with me. Until then, I will stay here. It is settled.’
‘You plan to live here? Permanently?’ Annie said shocked. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t this.
Raphael crossed his arms across his chest and nodded emphatically. ‘If I have to.’
‘I suppose I can’t stop you,’ Annie said slowly. ‘But I want to make one thing clear—this baby is my responsibility.’
‘And mine.’ His mouth was set in a determined line.
‘I am happy to be on my own. I don’t want any thing from you—least of all a relationship. Although I guess the fact that you never tried to contact me means that it was never an option as far as you were concerned, either.’
Raphael narrowed his eyes at her. ‘We never made any promises, either of us. There were things…’ He paused, shaking his head. ‘It just couldn’t be.’
He was right, of course. There hadn’t been any promises on either side, but that hadn’t stopped her hoping he would get in touch, even while she knew she had nothing to offer him.
‘Where will you live?’ Annie asked, dragging her thoughts back to the present.
‘I have taken a room in a hotel near the hospital for the time being, but I will look for a place here in Penhally Bay. I want to keep an eye on you and the pregnancy.’
Annie’s thoughts were all over the place. He was here and if that wasn’t a big enough shock, he was planning to stay.
‘I should tell you that I have consulted a lawyer, in Spain as well as in the UK. I’m going to ask for shared access. No one is going to stop me seeing my child.’
Annie looked at him, aghast. Her growing feeling of unease was spot on. He was here and determined to interfere with her life. It was one thing letting him know he was going to be a father, quite another him demanding legal access. Too late, the memory of the words he had spoken in Spain came rushing back. ‘If she were my child,’ he had said referring to Maria, ‘nothing and no one would stop me claiming what belongs to me.’ At the time his words had meant little but now they burnt into her brain, sending a frisson of fear down her spine. What on earth had she done? And what could she do about it now?
CHAPTER FOUR
ANNIE studied the CTG of the pregnant woman whose labour she was monitoring for the umpteenth time. Although the contractions were still several minutes apart, the baby’s heartbeat kept slowing down. Over the last couple of hours it had returned to normal within a few seconds, but this time the baby’s heart rate stayed slow. The baby was clearly in distress and Annie knew that the mother should be delivered right now. Making up her mind, she asked one of the staff midwives to page the on-call consultant and let them know they were needed straight away.
While she waited, Annie explained to her patient that it was likely she would need to have a C-section.
Audrey looked at her with frightened eyes. ‘I really wanted a natural birth,’ she said.
‘I know you did,’ Annie said softly. She had been involved with Audrey’s pregnancy all the way through and had helped her put a birth plan together.
‘But sometimes things don’t turn out the way we’d hoped. This is the best for your baby. And that’s what’s important in the end, isn’t it? We should be able to give you a spinal, so at least you’ll be awake to welcome your child into the world.’
Audrey sought her husband’s hand. ‘Of course you’re right. All that matters is that my baby is okay.’ She grimaced as another contraction hit her. ‘I trust you to decide what’s right for us,’ she told Annie once the wave of pain had passed.
During the contraction, Annie had been watching the baby’s heartbeat on the monitor. As before, it slowed down, but this time it was almost three minutes before the heart rate returned to normal. Where was the obstetrician? She tried to remember who was on call for labour ward, but couldn’t. There had been so many changes recently with people going on leave, it was hard to keep up
Just as she was about to ask Julie, her fellow midwife, to call the consultant again, Raphael strode into the room.
‘Someone paged me,’ he said, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Annie was in the room. Although she had known she’d bump into him sooner rather than later, she was unprepared for the way her heart started pounding in her chest.
‘It was me, Dr Castillo,’ Annie said, thankful her voice didn’t betray the unsteady beating of her heart. ‘Audrey’s baby is having repeated prolonged decelerations. She’s only 5 cms. I think we need to get her delivered straight away.’ She handed the CTG printout to Raphael, who studied it for a few moments before nodding.
‘You’re absolutely right,’ he said. ‘We need to get Audrey to theatre straight away. Could someone let the anaesthetist know we need him to do a spinal? Come on, let’s get going.’ As everyone reacted to his words, he bent over Audrey. ‘Try not to worry. We’ll have your baby out and in your arms shortly.’
There wasn’t time in the next few minutes for Annie to think about anything except her patient. Quickly she and Julie, with a few words of reassurance to Audrey and her husband, started wheeling the bed down to theatre. Minutes later, Annie was washing her hands next to Raphael while he scrubbed up.
‘Excellent call,’ he said approvingly. ‘It’s good that you didn’t wait any longer before calling me.’
‘I have been a midwife for several years, Dr Castillo.’
Raphael arched an eyebrow but said nothing. Annie followed him into theatre.
Annie stood back ready to receive Audrey’s baby while Raphael, after checking with the anaesthetist that Audrey’s lower body was suitably numb, cut into the abdomen and then into the uterus. They all waited with bated breath as he pulled out the baby. There was a second of complete stillness before a lusty cry of rage broke the silence. Everyone smiled. Raphael passed the baby across to Annie who promptly wrapped it in a blanket before checking that the airway was clear.
‘You have a beautiful baby boy,’ she said to Audrey, passing her the newborn to hold. ‘And he’s absolutely perfect.’
While Raphael was suturing the wound in Audrey’s abdomen, Annie, a lump in her throat, watched as Audrey and her husband cooed over their son. No matter how many times she delivered a baby, it always got to her, but for the first time in as long as she could remember there was no stab of envy as she watched a mother with her baby. In a few months’ time, she would be holding a child of her own.
Glancing up from the happy trio, she found Raphael’s speculative eyes on hers and wondered if he was thinking the same thing.
‘We’ll get you up to recovery as soon as Dr Castillo has finished closing,’ she told Audrey. ‘I’m just going to weigh your son and then I’ll give him right back to you. Then you can try giving him a feed.’ As soon as she finished checking the baby over, she passed him back to Audrey, and helped her settle her son onto the breast. Happily the tiny infant got the hang of it straight away and was soon sucking contentedly. Annie felt her throat constrict. Damn the tears that were never far away these days. At least these were the right kind of tears.
As soon as she had settled mother and baby in the postnatal ward, she headed off to the staff room. She needed to find a place where she could be alone with her thoughts. How on earth was she going to co
pe over the next few months, seeing Raphael every day? Yesterday she had asked him to leave, promising that they would talk again, but what could she say to him? That she had never stopped thinking about him and the night they had shared together? That it had taken all her willpower not to call him and that seeing him again had made her greedy for more? That suddenly she wanted it all—a child, yes, but also someone who loved them…both. But she knew that wasn’t going to happen. If that night had meant anything at all he would have found her before now, despite what they had told each other.
As she tried to concentrate on her paperwork she became aware of someone watching her. She looked up to find Raphael studying her with an odd expression in his eyes.
‘Hola,’ he said softly. ‘Can I come in?’
‘It’s not really a good time. I have to finish this paperwork before my afternoon clinic.’
He ignored her and, frowning, stepped into the room. ‘When, then?’ he demanded. ‘When would be a good time? Because you and I need to talk about this baby,’ he said. A muscle twitched in his cheek. He wasn’t quite as casual as he had first seemed.
‘I’m not sure that there’s anything left to talk about,’ Annie said. Then she relented. It had been a shock seeing him again, but now he was here, and she would be working closely with him over the coming months, she could hardly ignore him.
‘Look,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you come over this evening? Around seven? We can talk then, okay?’
He crossed the room and leaned over the table, his brown eyes drilling into hers. Annie felt like a moth trapped in a light and it was all she could do to stop herself from leaping up and moving away. Somehow she found the resolve to return his look steadily. He searched her face for a moment.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Until tonight.’ And, turning on his heel, he was gone.
As soon as Annie got home, she rushed around tidying up before jumping in the shower. As she soaped her body, she felt the small burgeoning lump of her pregnancy under her fingers and smiled. Then, as she let the hot water ease away the tiredness, her thoughts focused on Raphael. How would she cope, seeing him every day? Especially when the rapid beating of her heart every time she looked at him told her that the connection she had felt with him in Spain was still there. It hadn’t just been the Mediterranean sun after all, though she had always known it had been much more than that.
Finishing her shower, she went to slip on a pair of jeans, but to her dismay, and secret delight, she couldn’t do up the button. It was time to go shopping for some maternity clothes. She hadn’t allowed herself to think that far ahead until now. A little suspicious side of her was afraid of tempting fate. She discarded the too-tight jeans in favour of a simple dress. Then she brushed her long dark hair until it shone, before adding a touch of eye shadow and lipstick. She refused to ask herself why she was taking so much time with her appearance.
The late spring evening was unseasonably warm, so she opened the window and the smell of her climbing roses floated in on the breeze. Should she offer him a meal? she wondered. What was the polite way to behave when meeting the father of your child after a one-night stand? Once again, she felt her face grow warm at the memory. She thought about phoning Fiona to tell her Raphael had turned up, and asking her for advice, but before she had the chance, there was a knock on her door. She felt a tingle of apprehension dance up her spine as she opened the door.
Raphael stood in the doorway, holding a bunch of tulips. She couldn’t read the expression on his face, and before she could say anything, he handed her the flowers.
‘Thank you,’ she said simply, burying her nose in their fragrance. ‘They’re lovely.’ She stood aside to let him enter. Once again she was dismayed at the way her heart was thumping.
‘I thought we could go for a walk,’ Annie said, feeling the need for neutral territory. ‘I could show you Penhally Bay.’
‘I would like that.’
Annie draped a sweater over her shoulders and soon they were following the road down to the harbour.
‘How are your family?’ she asked. ‘And little Maria? I have thought of her often.’
‘They are all well. Maria asks after the British woman with the sad green eyes often.’ He stopped and turned towards her. ‘But you don’t look so sad to me any more.’ He traced a finger down the line of her jaw. ‘You look happy.’
‘I am. Very happy.’
They continued following the road until they came to the lighthouse. They stood looking across the harbour to the sea beyond.
‘It’s hard to believe right now, when everything is so calm, but there was a bad storm here,’ Annie said. ‘It caused a lot of damage and there are still a lot of repairs being carried out to some of the buildings. A couple of people lost their lives. It’s a small community and everybody feels it when something so awful happens.’
‘It must have been hard on everyone. It is like this where my mother lives in Spain. Everybody knows and helps each other. It is a good way to live.’
‘It’s quiet now,’ Annie continued. ‘But you wouldn’t believe how busy it gets in the summer months. I love it here.’
‘In my country, we are always outdoors.’ Raphael stopped and looked at her intently. ‘It is a good country for a child to live. They can be outside playing instead of inside playing computer games, like so many of the children in this country.’
It seemed their walk was just another opportunity for Raphael to try and convince her to come and live in Spain, she thought, unable to prevent a stab of disappointment. Couldn’t he see it was out of the question?
‘Children here in Penhally Bay have a good life too,’ she said. ‘Many of them surf or sail, and there’s always the beach for the younger ones. I loved it here when I was a child. It is a good place, a safe place for children. The community looks out for each other. Admittedly it attracts thousands of tourists in the summer, but that is a good thing too. It means that there is plenty going on for teenagers as well as adults. We have a very low crime rate here.’
‘It is beautiful,’ Raphael admitted, his eyes sweeping the bay. ‘Almost as beautiful as where I live. But the weather.’ He spread his hands. ‘It is cold. And the rain. In Spain, there is always family around. The children spend time with their grandparents and aunts and uncles as well as cousins. Like you say, there are always people to watch out.’
They carried on walking, falling into step alongside each other. ‘What about your family?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you mind being far away from them?’
‘I go to see my parents and my sister often and sometimes they come here. I’d always planned go to Australia to see my brother and his family, but I guess I’ll have to shelve that plan for a while.’ She smiled, thinking of the reason a visit to Australia would be out of the question for some time. ‘We lived in Penhally Bay until I was about seven, when we moved to Edinburgh, so it always felt like a second home.’
‘Why did you come back? Did you not like Edinburgh?’
‘I’m not really a city girl. I love being able to open my front door and let the sea air in. I love the way everyone knows everyone else here—even if it does mean people know more about your business than you’d like.’
She slid a glance at him, wondering if he realised that the pair of them were bound to become a source of gossip. Not that it would be malicious, but people were bound to speculate eventually about the pregnant midwife and the Spanish doctor.
‘So, they will talk about us,’ Raphael said, shrugging his shoulders. ‘It is of no importance. I am not ashamed.’
‘Look, Raphael, can we talk about why you’re here?’ Annie was panting slightly as she spoke. Raphael placed a hand on her arm, indicating a bench with a tip of his dark head and leading her towards it.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the surfers out at sea. The waves were a decent size and a number of people were making the most of it.
‘You told me you’ve spoken to the lawyers about access. You didn’t need
to do that. I wouldn’t stop you from seeing your child, not as long as you came to see him when you were supposed to. The only thing I don’t want is a father who flits in and out of my child’s life. A father who can’t be depended on. I would much rather you have no involvement than that. But it scares me that you are consulting lawyers. I don’t really understand why you seem to feel the need. I would have done anything to have a child. The last thing I would do is to take it away from you.’
Raphael brought his eyebrows together. ‘Is that what happened, Annie? You wanted a child and you used me to have one?’
‘It wasn’t like that!’ Annie insisted. ‘You don’t understand…’
He turned cool brown eyes on her. ‘What is there to understand? You have what you want,’ he said. ‘Now I will have what is mine.’
Annie shivered. There was no mistaking the determination in the set of his mouth.
‘In which case,’ she replied, ‘if that is what you think of me, I don’t think there is anything left to say.’
She stood, leaving him sitting there staring out to sea.
CHAPTER FIVE
OVER the next week Annie kept bumping into Raphael but apart from his pointed enquiries into how she was feeling, their contact was limited to clinical discussions. When she saw him with his patients she was struck by his easygoing manner and they all seemed to love the way he managed to achieve the right balance between casual joking and interested concern. However, when he looked at her, his expression turned cool.
And it wasn’t just the patients. He was causing quite a stir among the other female members of staff too. Annie was constantly overhearing conversations speculating about whether Dr Castillo was involved with anyone. Thankfully no one guessed that Annie and Raphael had met before, let alone that she was carrying his baby.
Annie was looking forward to a couple of days off over the weekend. She loved her job, but she hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights. Not since Raphael had turned up, in fact, and she was longing for an early night in bed with a good book.
Brides of Penhally Bay - Vol 4 Page 20