I set the last cleaned-out can in the bag with the others Elizabeth washed. “As long as we have enough moonlight to make sure we don’t miss anything.”
“It’s a date.” Eric stands to tuck the map back under his thin mattress and flashes me a flirty smile. “One moonlit stroll by the beach.”
Elizabeth and Daniel snort at Eric’s attempt at romance, but I think it’s sweet that he’s trying. He’s always doing little things like holding my hand or helping me up from the benches in the dining hall. Elizabeth and Daniel are more like my parents, never touching or showing their affection for each other where other people can see.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes and carries the bag of clean tins to the corner where no one will trip over them once the setting sun sinks the bunkhouse into darkness.
“Come on, you stupid thing.” Daniel is camped out on a bed with one of the Noteboards, his face buried in his hands. “Ayesocose.”
“What?” His words are muffled by his hands. I know it’s not polite, but I giggle at his dramatics anyway.
“Sorry,” he says, lifting his head up. “I said, ‘I’m so close.’”
“Close to what?” I plop down on the bunk next to him. My elbow brushes against his and I’m suddenly aware of just how close we are, the warmth of his dark skin radiating out in the cooling air to lift goose bumps along my arm. I adjust the skirt of my dress to give me an excuse to scoot and create some distance between us.
“I found this old card reader out at the deserted security building. I’m trying to connect it to the Noteboard so I can recode our OneCards.”
“This is a card reader?” I pick it up and let the metal cool my heated palms. It does nothing to ease my racing pulse. Why am I acting this way? It’s just Daniel.
The heavy box is like a brick in my hand. The readers in the Admin building are all slick grey squares no bigger than my palm. The huge black box Daniel tinkers with is almost as big as the Noteboard it’s linked to.
“Don’t judge my reader.” Daniel says harshly, taking the box back. “Unless you’d like to grab a new one off the wall during your shift tonight.” He winks at me, destroying my minimal success at controlling my heart rate.
Eric calls across the room from his spot on another bunk. “Two Noteboards and half a dozen cables aren’t good enough for you?”
Daniel raises his hands in surrender, making all of us laugh.
It’s easy to joke around with him when I don’t think about how handsome he is. I shake the thought out of my head. Eric is handsome. “What exactly does re-coding our cards include?”
“Really, princess?” Elizabeth pipes up from the corner where she’s storing our newly cleaned cans. “Are you prepared for an hour-long dissertation on the intricacies of the Cardinal’s network?”
Daniel frowns at her, but Elizabeth just sticks out her tongue and turns away. They both chuckle, and Daniel picks up our conversation as if there wasn’t any interruption.
“Well, besides removing our Rejected status, I’ll need to give us new names and new backgrounds.” Daniel taps the face of the Noteboard and an official-looking site pops up. “Here’s the national marriage register I hacked into last week.”
The collar of my dress is tighter than it was a minute ago.
“See, here is where I’ll set up the licenses and backdate our documents.” He taps again and the screen flashes from one page to another. “You and Eric still look pretty young so I won’t have to backdate yours very far.”
“Backdate our what?” Even with the sun almost set, the room is growing steadily warmer.
“Your marriage date.” Daniel looks up from the screen and his face drops. “Didn’t you know?”
I can’t say anything. If I open my mouth I might spew my meager dinner. I close my eyes to keep the room from spinning. Marry Eric…now? Can I do that? I picture myself wearing a formal gown and making the marriage pledge to Eric. My stomach rolls and saliva fills my mouth.
Eric’s sad eyes meet mine from across the room and there’s not enough air to breathe. I get up, but blood rushes to my head and I sway on my feet. Eric rushes over and guides me back to his bunk, rubbing my back. I’m a horrible person.
“I’m sorry, Rebecca.” Daniel sounds far away, even though he’s just across the room. “I assumed you already knew about the marriages.”
I shake my head and the squirming in my stomach subsides some. I force deep breaths in through my nose. I have to calm down.
“We can’t go back to our own Territories because everyone knows us there. I can set it up for Eric and me to get a Cardinal-assigned Territory Transfer. That way, no one will be suspicious when we show up.” Daniel’s words tumble out almost faster than I can digest them. “The only reason for the rest of you to move with us is if we’re married.”
I nod my head, because everything Daniel says makes sense. A transfer is the only reason for people to show up in a new Territory. If the girls and I are going with them, we’ll need to be their wives.
Daniel stands up and looks to Elizabeth and Molly for support, but they’re tucked in the corner, heads together, lost in their own conversation. “It doesn’t mean anything; a name change and a checked box in the Cardinal’s system.”
“I’m okay, really. I understand.” I stretch my mouth into the best smile I can muster so Eric doesn’t think I’m upset about marrying him. My teeth grind together; I’ll be fine. “I just didn’t put it all together until now. I thought we had more time.”
“It’ll all work out, Becca.” Eric’s face is filled with understanding. My throat fills with sand and I fight the tears stinging the back of my eyes. Here I am, having a panic attack about marrying him, and he’s trying to comfort me.
“Eric, I didn’t mean…please don’t think.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me. Your reaction was perfectly normal, but time isn’t a luxury we have anymore.” His hand is warm on mine and puts me at ease. “We’re going to make this work.”
“I trust you. I’m…” A new thought interrupts my apology. Two guys, three girls. “We don’t have enough people. What about Molly?”
Molly’s head lifts up at her name, her face completely blank in the dimming light. “I’m going to be a widow traveling with her sister. Of course, I’m heartbroken and you all feel horrible about my loss.” She winks at me and smiles. “I’ll wear black.”
Molly, the girl who rarely says more than four words to me and only in response to asking her a question, just made a real joke. Not a good one, but a joke all the same.
A small chuckle bubbles up from inside, trailed by a louder giggle, and followed by side-clenching laughter. My amusement is contagious and soon the others are laughing right along with me.
It isn’t nearly as funny as we’re all making it, but it’s been too long since we had something to laugh about.
“Maybe we should find an urn and fill it with a little PIT dirt?” Daniel barely gets his words out between loud guffaws.
“Yes, it’s the only proper way…to honor the memory…of your late husband…PITrick.” Elizabeth laughs so hard at her own joke, she snorts after the last word.
Tears roll down my cheeks and my side hurts, but I never want to stop laughing. “He was a fine man,” I get out between gasping breaths, “but an awful cook.”
Molly holds a pillow across her stomach in a losing attempt to hold back her laughter. “Don’t talk about my fake dead husband that way!” She tosses the pillow at my head, but misses me in the darkening room and hits Eric, instead. “He was only looking for a little Acceptance.”
We laugh until each of us is exhausted. The room is filled with heavy breathing and wide smiles I can barely see in the fading light. Even back home, I never felt so much like part of a real family as I do in this minute. With strangers I dismissed as monsters little more than a month ago.
I can’t agree with Constance that life inside the PIT is better than outside, but it has given me something I didn’t
know was missing. What will it be like once we’re back in the real world? Life will be different, better, but will we still have this? How much will our freedom really cost?
Eric’s hand finds mine in the dark and squeezes tight. “Come on, Becca, time for work.” He hands me my dusty shoulder bag and we head out hand in hand for another night of picking through trash.
***
“Here, you should finish it.” I hand the greasy container back to Eric so he can fish the last bite out of the bottom. The mostly full take-out box of noodles was our best find yet. Eric found it resting at the top of a garbage can on his floor and saved it for us to share.
I lean back against the cool concrete wall behind the dining hall and savor the taste of salt on my lips. These noodles are the first thing I’ve eaten in weeks that doesn’t carry the distinct burnt taste that flavors everything in the PIT. The sixth floor cans aren’t as generous as I’d hoped.
The smell from the dumpsters we’re hiding between doesn’t enhance the meal, but walking around the PIT with food is a fast way to find trouble. Last week an Under got a broken arm when he carried a piece of bread out of the dining hall. A band of slightly older boys was on him in the blink of an eye and he was left holding crumbs and an arm bent in the wrong direction.
Eric throws the empty container into the darkness. It’s a small thing, but it bothers me. Lately, I’m bothered by more and more of Eric’s little nuances. That’s probably how it is for most couples the more they get to know about each other. It doesn’t make me feel any better about our future together.
I stand up from my spot in the dirt and toss the noodle box into the dumpsters.
“Really?” he asks, pushing up from the ground. “I hardly think one more piece of trash is going to matter in this dump.”
“We may be Rejects, but that doesn’t mean we have to live like barbarians.”
Eric only shrugs before wiping his hands on his dusty pants and pulling our wrinkled map out of his bag. He points to a spot on the grid close to the dark line of the fence. “I think we should go out to the edge tonight. I didn’t run into anyone else while I was out there earlier so it should be safe.”
The walk out to the area Eric selected will take us at least half an hour. Even though summer is nearly here, the heat of the day fades as soon as the sun sets. It’s already much cooler than it was when we walked into the Admin building. I’m not at all excited about a long walk out to search in a new area, but we can’t avoid the edge forever.
“Well, we aren’t going to find an escape boat sitting around here.” I slide my bag back on and take Eric’s extended hand on instinct. I don’t even bother to brush the dust off the back of my dress. My mother would die a thousand deaths of embarrassment if she could see me now.
It’s peaceful this time of night when almost everyone is tucked away in a bunkhouse, huddled against the cool air. The only people out on a night like this are those up to no good. Eric fills the silence with information he’s gleaned from Elizabeth.
“According to E, the edge of the PIT is the original site. There weren’t as many Rejects then. As the Machine rejected more people, they just kept expanding the fence to include more land.”
We turn the final corner leading to the last row of buildings and it’s clear why no one lives out here. If the bunk we live in is run-down, the ones out here are dilapidated. Some of them have tin roofs or small porches, but most are little more than three walls leaning against each other. An air of desolation hangs around everything like a thick layer of dust.
We have ten buildings to search tonight so long as I don’t freeze first. I’m keeping an eye out for any item that could be useful, but the main search is still for anything that floats.
Without flashlights, we have to depend on the moon filtering through the glassless windows to see. It takes forever to search each building, creeping from one spot of light to the next, sticking hands into unseen corners. Outside the cracked walls, the wind blows through the holes of missing doors and windows, stirring up dirt into the air.
We’re only in the third house, but it feels like we’ve been out here for hours already. My thin mattress and stained pillow call to me, making each step harder to take. The room looks deserted, but we have to walk through and make sure we aren’t missing anything in the dark. This would be a much easier task during the day, but we can’t risk someone seeing what we’re up to.
“Let’s split up so we can go faster.” Eric’s voice cuts across the silence and I’m torn. Half of me thinks Eric is brilliant because anything that gets us done faster is wonderful. The other half thinks he’s lost all his marbles. I can’t walk into a pitch-black room by myself, feeling around for useful objects.
Eric shuffles to the door, but pauses when I don’t answer him. “Come on, it’s freezing out here and I’ll only be one building away.”
My desire to get out of the cold wins out over my fear. “Okay, just don’t go far.”
Eric takes off for the next house and I creep into the darkened room on my own. I slide my feet along the wall, taking my time so I don’t trip. A soft shuffling freezes my steps. The dim light makes it impossible to see the source of the noise. I open my mouth to call out to Eric, but my throat is dry. I can’t force out any sound. The noise sounds again, and this time two eyes stare out of the dark corner, glaring right at me.
I take one tentative step back, and then another. A crash from the corner echoes through the room and I don’t wait to find out what it is. I turn and run for the door as fast as my frozen legs can carry me. Whoever is back there doesn’t sound like he’s following me, but I’m not taking any chances.
What are we doing out here? This place might have been deserted during the day, but not anymore. For all we know a deranged lunatic could be in the corner, lying in wait for a defenseless victim to come wandering in.
I burst through the door of the next bunk and collide with Eric. I know it’s him from the familiar curve of his chest. My nails dig into his arm, desperate to cling to the safety he offers.
“Becca, what’s wrong?” Eric’s hands rove over my shivering body checking for injuries. “Are you alright?”
I nod. My lungs are burning from my sprint and I can’t catch my breath to tell him what happened.
Eric eases me back out of the building and we sit on the remains of its wooden porch. He pulls me closer as I work to calm my breathing.
“Someone…inside the house.” I finally get out enough words to explain why I barreled into him.
“Okay, you’re fine now, Becca. No one followed you over here. It was probably just an Under hiding out for the night.”
I’m sure he’s right. The warmth of Eric’s arm around my shoulders brings a relief both from my fear and the bitter cold of the ocean wind. We haven’t made enough progress, but I’m certain I can’t go back inside another building tonight. Eric must sense my defeat as well.
“What do you say we take a break from scavenging for one night?”
I nod and Eric guides me up till we face each other, his strong arms wrapping me up in comfort. “Come with me, I want to show you something.”
Eric leads me few streets away to a building that doesn’t look any different from the others. Hopping up on a tottering crate, he reaches down for me to join him. I hesitate. I’m not afraid of heights, but I really just want to go home to the comfort of my saggy bed.
“Trust me, it’s worth it.” And because I do trust him, I hold out my arms and let Eric pull me up to the flat roof of the old bunkhouse. “Now look,” Eric says pointing out to a spot far in the distance.
At first I can’t see anything but a field of darkness, like an artist has painted the scene with thick, black paint. But then I notice small shimmers in the midst of the obscurity. Moonlight glimmers off the ground in a way I’ve never seen before. Beneath the sparse light, the ground unfurls, like tall blades of prairie grass in the wind. It hits me.
“Is that the…?”
; “Magical, isn’t it? When the waves crest, the moon catches the surface and puts on a light show.” His arm spreads across the cool air and mimics the undulations of the water in front of us.
“I’ve never seen anything like it.” No one I know has ever seen the coast, and it certainly isn’t something I ever thought I’d see. It’s like the PIT is giving us a little present; a consolation prize for living with grey drab every day. “It’s beautiful.”
“I agree.”
I turn to Eric, but he isn’t staring at the rolling ocean any more. Reaching up, he tucks a strand of short hair the wind has blown loose back behind my ear. All of Eric’s features are highlighted in the white light of the moon. His strong chin and broad mouth. Even his nose, which looks a little crooked this close. There’s no denying that he’s handsome.
Eric steps closer, taking both of my hands in his own. I have no experience in situations like this, but I’m almost certain he’s going to kiss me. Pretty soon we’ll be married, even if it is only a document. I want him to kiss me.
I slide forward the tiniest bit, unable to resist the draw of his warmth. His eyes close and his head dips down towards mine, so I lift up my face to meet him.
His lips are warm and salty against mine. His mouth pushes down into mine, sending a flood of warmth through my body. Familiar hands move to the small of my back, finding a perfect spot to rest, pulling me closer. I’m not sure what to do with my hands, but they find a natural place on Eric’s shoulders.
Cheryl and I spent countless hours imagining the fateful moments of our first kisses. I always pictured it happening while sitting on my parent’s front porch, rocking on the hanging swing. Crickets would serenade me and my future husband while lightning bugs created the perfect atmosphere. We’d be sipping tall glasses of lemonade and holding hands because the thought of a firm hand holding mine always sounded perfect.
My dream man would lean in and whisper ‘I love you’ in my ear and I would smile back and say ‘I love you, too.’ And then, because we both know that kind of declaration is always followed shortly by an engagement, he would kiss me. Our lips touching for the first time would be a brief, but sweet promise of years of kisses to come.
Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) Page 12